♠ hated by @decayableTheomachy
_ I'm not sayinG stop completely. Simply taG it at least.
cronus amporas guide to the ladies part 2: jade harley #nsfwv #nsfvwe #petplay #dubcon #cagttl yes. ear scritches vwork. lets just get that outta the wvay. i hawve newver, and i mean newver, met a jade wvho didnt melt for this. try scratching at the base of the tail too, just abovwe it, they lovwe that shit. sure youll sometimes find non-dog jades, but thats pretty damn rare. they alwvays go for the petplay stuff too, like, evwen if youre pretty wvanilla you shouldnt hawve a problem tossing out a good girl or good puppy, thatll get her wvagging like crazy. you a little more advwenturous? collar, maybe ewven leash. i alwvays keep a wviolet collar on me for emergencies like this, you should get into the habit of carrying one vwith your color on it. real nice shorthand for establishing wvhos the boss. okay, nowv for the nitty gritty. thats a stupid fucking phrase, nitty gritty. anywvays, there are a fewv types of jade i see. the easiest, but maybe the most boring, are the innocent jades. bright eyed, bushy tailed, dumber than a doorknob. theyll do vwhat you say, beliewve wvhat you say, and lowve evwery second of it. you dont need a guide for her, cmon, just be confident and take vwhat you wvant, shell thank you for it. so a bit tougher are like... dunno hovw to describe em, exactly. theyll turn into the first type of jade wvith some lovwing, but theyre like a real person at first. usually still swveet and bubbly, but theyvwe got some brains. thats vwhere you attack. see, in my experience, jades hate hawving brains. underneath all that genki girl shit, shes like, sad and stuff. shes super smart, and powverful, and hard on herself because she dont think shes enough. you cant let her think shes enough, obwviously, except enough to be your cute lil pet. you gotta help her get into the right mindspace to shut her brain off. givwe her praise, offer her help, unload as much of her mental load onto yourself as you can. appeal to that puppy part of her, its alwvays powverful. she might yip a lil, but her barks vworse than her bite. actually, thats not true, dealing wvith jades has backfired on me once or twvice, but its usually still vworth it. just as an addendum, jades arent as freaky as roses, but they still tend to be pretty freaky. youll nevwer hawve to push em as much, theyre like, in constant heat or something. try letting them get a good wvhiff of you, that wvorks for some of em. but yeah, they lowve getting themselvwes into situations vwhere theyll havwe to do wvhat you say, so take advwantage of that, obwviously. for not being magic gals i find them messed up vweirdly a lot, do wvith that wvhat you wvill. also, theres that vwhole grimdark thing. dont think ivwe ewver taken adwvantage of it myself, but theres gotta be something to that, right? also, if youre a bronze? good for you pal, you knowv vwhat to do. rating time bod: jades tend curwvier, sometimes wvay too much. you vwouldnt think thats possible, but it is. still, cant complain too much about getting more to hold, if you knovw wvhat im saying. sometimes theyre buff vwhich is fine, but just not really my thing 8/10 vwariety: the puppy play is fun and all, but its pretty much vwhat youre gonna get out of a jade. 5/10 ease: jades are so fuckin easy <3 the scritches are all you need most of the time 9/10 personality: can get a lil annoying and i prefer a bit more meat to my convwersations, but its hard to go vwrong wvith a cutie wvho vwants you bad 8/10 ovwerall? 8/10. im alvways happy to see a jade since i knowv im gonna havwe a fun time wvith her. only real problem is that a lotta jades just arent my thing, but those gals wvill make it real obwvious real quick, so its easy to wveed em out. wvoof vwoof.
i think if youre on the side thats threatening slovw and graphic death ovwer vwords on a screen, youre not on the side that history vwill wvindicate
Z. in the end i alwwayz wwin. .Z
Z. i a m b e t t e r. #nzfww #gore ( httpz://f2.toyhou.ze/file/f2-toyhou-ze/imagez/119826624_UHPbFlvvjJeMmCmC.png ) .Z
Z. i find all of the dizguztingly attractivve ztupid men are alwwayz into wwomen howw tragic for me one of theze dayz a zubmizzivve manbeazt wwill be mine #nzfww #gaythoughtz #wwoeizme .Z
‧₊˚❀༉‧₊༄﹏𓊝˚.﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖ Ψar, ⚓︎eh nigh⚓︎ JUS⚓︎ s⚓︎ar⚓︎ed calm 𝚿erself 𝚿e fuck. ﹏༄˖°❀⋆˖.ೃ࿔*:･.☠
hell no
Z. you could nevver be him for he iz me #targetedpozting ( httpz://i.pinimg.com/736x/7b/25/34/7b253424535d815ae0a2c7f617fbb624.jpg ) .Z
This Is An Alterina Based Website Is All
Z. nothing can compare to wwatching him zquirm and get angry after i wwork him up zo wwell #nzfww #zuggeztivve #vvaguepozting .Z
Z. if you are going to leavve ringz of clowwn paint around my bulge that do not wwazh off eazy the leazt you can do in return iz givve a zatizfactory bloww job #nzfww #fuckingclowwnz #izpentmoretimecleaningmybulgethanactuallyzleepingtogether #dizappointed .Z
Z. gavve a clowwn a chance noww her paint iz zmeared in ringz all ovver my bulge normally thiz iz delightful howwevver it iz wwaterproof and wwill not come off #nzfww #clowwnz #theheadwwazntevventhatgood .Z
Z. i take it back .Z
I'm Y/[N] scared of some little mutant. I was just busy being cool and relaxed and keeping some cool thing I found from hitting herself on my furniture.
OH right fuck I forgot. Damn my bad ruined the tension like a little bitch.
Where o' where is a commission-able artist with reasonable prices within fronds reach when you need one?
Z. i havve blocked you zevveral timez howw do you ztill come back repeatedly .Z
Z. barely evven ztarted and he iz begging for my knot calling me your highnezz wwhat a good little wworm #nzfww .Z
Z. cull yourzelf .Z
Z. i wwill be in no zuch chair .Z
Z. do you not havve the giant grozz merbeazt to entertain you leavve me be .Z
Z. the jade iz ovver and already in my clothez i zuppoze i wwill indulge him and wwatch hiz choice of movviez if he continuez to behavve #yourtazteinmovviezzuckz #keepbehavving .Z
Z. fucking fizh thing made me in troll miitopia and noww i am a ztupid wwizard fighting butterfly monzterz #ihateyou #youarethewworztevver .Z
Z. the humanz continue to be zo unprepared for pitch flirting wwhy come onto my pitch flirt pozt if not for pitch flirting you all create your owwn problemz and cry .Z
>> Bor¡ng 😔😔
Z. are there ztill interezting trollz out there i havve growwn tired of bazic 'i hate you wwe zhould pail' i wwant zomething interezting zomething neww givve me a gog damn challenge for once i am not az feeble az the other amporaz .Z
Z. ugh i did not mean you annoying pezt .Z
Z. i am bored zomeone pick a fight wwith me or zome thing before i groww irritated .Z
Z. that iz dizguzting abzolutely not i wwill havve you culled .Z
Z. i alwwayz havve the oppozite izzue howw unfortunate .Z
Shot @decayableTheomachy in the shoulder. knocked em out after and returned them home. Sorta just left them outside. Seems all of it ended well enough. A good end to a weird night, I think.
just watched the trOll mIIchael jacksOn mOvIIe!! was #amazIIng!!
>> that ¡ડ actua11y ડo fuck¡ng rea1
managing multiple relationships is easy. just have f0lders with images of different cute animals for each partner s0 you can send it to them and capti0n it "us".
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/cac2ff6277ac.jpg
i R-------EALLY s)(ould kill troll barack obama. dont want alternians gettin t)(e idea t)(at presidencies are a t)(in round t)(ese parts.
least my #bullpeniscane wont ever lie ta me about the current market rate
What do I smell like? I'm glad you all asked. In order of most to least prominent scent: 1. Crude Oil 2. Dried Blood (Mine) 3. Polluted sea water 4. Sand #scentposting
What do I smell like? I'm glad you all asked. In order of most to least prominent scent: 1. Crude Oil 2. Dried Blood (Mine) 3. Polluted sea water 4. Sand
I'MM still recoVVering froMM looking at the culinary MMistake that is Arby's.
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Z. all of them bezidez myzelf are horrible at bagging quadrant matez it iz deprezzing .Z
I have once again lost at billiards. This is the seventh time now. He is truly talented.
one up me. on your own. post. leave. my businessblock.
> who want me <
Z. that iz the zingle mozt dizturbing thing i havve zeen in my entire exiztence zome of you need to touch kelp #vvaguepozting .Z
HEY SO IT SHOULDN'T DO THAT.
y0u think i'm g0nna dr0p everything just t0 sh0w up at y0ur hive? despite what my chittr presence implies i'm n0t THAT desperate. i have shit t0 d0 first. #vaguep0sting
hold on you guy2 weren't 2uppo2ed to hate my chiitt that quiickly http2://mediia.tenor.com/DTB6XVXhOBwAAAAM/cynthiia-eriivo-elphaba.giif
K--<ace dick war going so fast i can admit i still love her and nobody will see
https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newvsfeed/001/329/488/7bb.jpg
why d/) ppl with small bulges even p/)st their bulge /)n this site??? at that p/)int just delete y/)ur acc/)unt i c/)uldn’t be caught dead tryna sh/)w /)ff just t/) bring in the br/)nze instead /)f at least a silver tr/)phy. #nsfw
just dont hawve shame it wvorks for me
The Handmaid’s behavior was acceptable today, so I will allow a small indulgence: Tock. Tick.
if my last post made you feel real vvisceral disgust hmu for a good time and only a little sadism like a healthy amount for any regal sea dwweller wworth their flippin salt
DON'T LIKE. DON'T WATCH.
notice howv they dont evwen appreciate hovw respectful and nice vwe are. wvomen only wvant assholes wvholl abuse them nowvanights