#1 Henchtroll
@designatedGoon
Here on da boss’ ordahs!
Gôôfus is wearin' a Benny hat, a vest, a shirt, & pants. GaꝈant is wearin' a fedôra, a nice jacket, a shirt, & pants. We aꝈsô wear themed ôutfits when we get a bôss whô wants dat sôrta thing. We're nôt taking anyuh this ôff fôr yôuse Ꝉôt. Why, even if we had a speciaꝈ sômeône we dunnô if we côuꝈd feeꝈ cônfident enôugh tô disrôbe fôr 'em... #GôônꝈife #Gôônin'
I can almost picture it now! Couple a stylish fellas goonin around! Good on yas!
A prôper miniôn's aꝈways gôtta Ꝉôôk his best. It'd be a bad Ꝉôôk ôn da bôss tô be aꝈꝈ disheveꝈed. #GôônꝈife
Are yôuse Łôôkin' fôr a pairuh feŁŁas tô dô YôUR gôôn wôrk? Łôôk nô further than Gôôfus & GaŁant's Gôôn GuiŁd! Dô yôuse need a taŁŁ & a shôrt guyse tô banter as theyse guard a dôôr? We've gôt a cŁean tight five! Dô yôuse need sôme feŁŁas tô môve crates back & fôrth in yôur warehôuse? We're dedicated team Łifters AND fôrkŁift certified. Dô yôuse need sôme guys tô escôrt yôur prôtagônist tô the interrôgatiôn bŁôck withôut 'em gettin' awayse? ôur success rate is weŁŁ abôve average! We côme with ôur ôwn bŁack beanies! We dô themes! We dô any môtive! We can dô seriôus! Cômedy! Gôôfus & GaŁant dô it aŁŁ! We'ŁŁ take ambiguôusŁy ŁethaŁ hits frôm the prôtag! We'ŁŁ expôsit at the startuh the episôde! AŁŁ fôr fair market rates. Yôuse can't get a better cannôn fôr yôur caegar than Gôôfus & GaŁant's Gôôn GuiŁd! We're prôud assôciatesuh the Greater GaŁactic Gôôniôn, the prôud representativesuh gôôns Empire-wide, frôm the ŁiŁ gôônŁets taking their first gôôsesteps ôn AŁterniase, aŁŁ the wayse up tô the persônaŁ bumbŁin' buffôônsuh Navy AdmiraŁs Łôôkin' tô sabôtage each ôther. This is hôw yôuse KNôW yôuse'ŁŁ get quaŁity henchwôrk frôm us. Reach ôut tônight fôr a freese quôte! Remember, if yôuse ain't gôônin' with Gôôfus & GaŁant, yôuse're the gôôn! #Gôôns #GôônŁife #Gôônin'
Dôn't get tôôse excited bub, we're gôôn buddies & aꝈꝈ, but ain't nô ône ever hearduh a triôuh gôôns, right? Such a thing... sureꝈy it côuꝈd never be. It's either a singꝈetôn, a shôrt & taꝈꝈ duôse, ôr a ganguh gôôns. Nô triôs.
Yous right yous right…sides, I got myself a solid boss anyway! I can’t be strayin away from him any! Gotta stay loyal ta da big guy yanno? Yeah, yanno! I’m sure yous had ta have worked fuh a couple a big guys before, yeah?
AꝈꝈ sôrts bub, aꝈꝈ sôrts. But a truese henchpair never gôôn & teꝈꝈ!
Aw, lookit yous two! Couple a professionals! It almost brings a tear ta my eye ta see a pair a pals so committed ta deir goonin! The two a yous are real gems, yanno dat?
Right back atcha buddy 'ôꝈ paꝈ. Hmm, yôuse are a memberuh the Gôôniôn thôugh, right?
Oh, o course! I keep my membership card in my suit pocket at all times! I’m numbah 304! Used ta be 126 but I lost my old card an had ta reregister aftah…da incident.
We underst&... We ain't gônna make yôuse taꝈk abôut... da incident.
Thanks fellas I appreciate dat! Alls I’ll tell ya is dat dere was fire an booze involved a usually I likes me a li’l fire or a li’l booze but not a li’l fire AN a li’l booze yanno? Not a good time if ya ask me!
Fôr sure, fôr sure, wese ain't big fansuh fire in generaꝈ, but with aꝈꝈ that? HeꝈꝈ nô!
See yous two get it! But anyway dat’s all in da past! I gots my new card an it’s fine an dandy! An I’m gonna keep dis one nice an safe or my name ain’t- whoops! Can’t say dat! Workplace confidentiality an all!
~~(__^·> is it goon appreciation night??? i love my goons!!! <·^__)~~
i gOt a fElLa nAmE🔶 yUrI. rEaL GoO🔶 ♠️KuLl♣️rA♣️KeR, ♠️TrAiG❤️T ♠️❤️OoTiNg fElLa. UnFoRtUnAtElY ❤️e ♠️TiLl oWe♠️ Me 250 ♣️AeGaR♠️, ♠️o i gOtTa gO ♣️oLlE♣️T On t❤️aT. t❤️aNk♠️ FoR ReMiN🔶In' Me ♣️❤️iTtR. #YuRi🔶aY
Dis reminded me I godda go collect on a payment tanight fuh da boss! Thanks pal! Good luck wit your ting!
New business idea: Go to a timeline where a reviled figure is dead, and then return and tell everyone how to do the deed.
Yous should all consida hittin up da sinos (dats casinos fuh dose who don know!) Deys a whole lotta fun, an who knows, ya might even win somethin! Get ta rollin, yanno?
Ɏ norma-a-ally i prefer video a-a-arca-a-ades beca-a-ause the risk of losing money ma-a-akes my hea-a-ad spin but a-a-after drinking inebria-a-ating #substa-a-ances i feel no fea-a-ar Ɏ
Ɏ chittr how do i ma-a-ake big big bogo bucks a-a-at the ca-a-asino #genuinequestion Ɏ
Always bet on black! An crank dose slots til ya drop!
So Is was trailin dis guy, right? Real nasty custahmer, wide as he was tall, an he was real tall! Size o a damn tree, I’m tellin ya! But anyways Is was trailin im, an he turns inta dis alleyway a now I know all bout dark alleyways, ya don’t wanna go in em widout a plan or backup! But yanno I had my gun on me an I was feelin pretty damn brave so Is slip in an follow him down an he heads inta a door on da right an I go in aftah im, right? It’s a nice lil bar, ain’t too many folks in dere, but den he busts out a gun an everyone starts panickin! Deys all runnin around like bugs when ya lift up a rock, cept for the bartender who pulls out a gun o his own! An dey go an point deir guns at each othah an dat’s when I whip out MY gun an Is shout fer everyone ta hit da deck an I pull da trigger but I miss, bottle behind da countah shatters, guy whips around ta face me an the bartender pops a cap in his leg! Da guy drops down ta his knee an I pudda bullet right in his pan an get oudda dere while the goin was still hot! Now Is back at hive but wowza my pusher’s still pumpin! One hell o a night dat was!
Finally, the type of goon I can give a shit about
Not at all my guy, go out there and have fun