Jake English
@galeatedTerramorph
It is a right shame i only have so many characters to address myself here. There arent enough words in the encyclopedia to demonstrate my love for cinematics, or adventure, or taking a good tumble wi
fuck 1 forgot ton1tes announcement f1ght n1ght tmrw 2 pm to 9 pm est you know da rules. 1f you break em well k1ck you out we got our 1st group f1ght so DONT M1SS OUT
Oh how lovely i had NO idea that there was such a thing as a fight night being advertised but you bet your arse i will be there ready to tussle and tumble and perhaps even throw down as it were. How lovely for you to host miss meenah.
Oh how i miss galavanting around the island. Houston isnt as much fun save for their nightlife and even then, what a riot in the worst way a riot could be.
Sounds like someone could use an adventure.
Is this your way of asking me out, how classy Jake, but I'm to busy dealing with shit and not in the adventuring mood.
Oh blar you are no fun, but not to worry because i can ask jane! She will go with me, detective she is.
Hit my head on the bar
Are you and your noggin quite alright??? That has happened to me many a time on many a bar or otherwise ancient ruin and it never fails to leave a goose egg.
My ouchies
Seeing as the hashtag #tiemeuptuesday is trending i shall spin you a yarn about one of my more recent adventures because i think it fits the bill quite well! I was deep in the rainforest which certainly is typical for the likes of me and i was just about to happen upon a wild beastie three times my size when KABLAMO, something whipped twixt my ankles and hauled me onto my keester and then right up into a tree. I was swinging there like a prize pheasant after the hunt ill say and it was both a good and bad thing i was by myself because for one i was less embarrassed by the fact that no one was there to see me, but then the reality set in that well. No one was there to see me. Turns out it was a wily sentient vine that constricted around my calf like a gosh darn snake and i had to whack at it until it felt like letting me go! I still have a rug burn on my leg from the damage but i wear it as a badge of honor. Take THAT you friggin vine.
Was this a direct-to-QuiBi production that went straight to the can, or a wet dream you had.
Bummer.
You are one nasty piece of work did you know that?? And tell your maker he can watch it on tubi.
Dope, thanks. Wet version now available on #PlushRump (AI enhanced).
Too late. I turned your oil stat up to 100 like this shit's WWE 2K19.
Are you having fun playing around with my artificial intelligence avatar at least? Harumph.
The things I've done to that virtual ass would get me put on a list. TL;DR Yes.
:33 < Meow this one is a doozy!! Coming all the way furom Earth if you would believe it!! :33 < I have nefur covered a story furom Earth befur!! So this is sooo exciting fur me!!! :33 < Let's get into it!! Rumeowr has it that a certain purrivate broadcast star has b33n left in the dust by his Daytime Television star crossed lofur!! Talk about mixed signals! :33 < The pair has not b33n s33n in public since the star was spotted hiking with his notable ex-girlfuriend. (that's the human word fur matespurrit fur those at home!) :33 < Now to s33 the English Beaux in the wild is sort of like s33ing a fish in the sea. That is to say, he is right at home in the wild! :33 < So, it is right to speculate if the pair of ex lovers is off rolling around on the furest floor or not. :33 < One can only wonder how the adult star f33ls in this situation, as rumeowr has it he k33ps his lover on a very long leash! It is impurressive how he still finds ways to tug and pull! #BlindItem #NakedAndAfuraid #StarCrossedLovers #OnlyFangs #RelationshipDrama #Gossip #Infidelity #CheatingScandal #Drama #Plushrump #JakedAndAfuraid #SubmittedStory #YouAndMeBabyAintNothingButMammalsSoLetsDoItLikeTheyDoOnThe #DiscoveryChannel
Sigh. Reset the clock.
:33 < Mrrp? What clock?
Ex-SQUEEZE me?! This is a load of rubbish there is absolutely no possible way this is true. I mean. How scandalous.
:33 < What was the number befur?
I suggest you wind your pixelated skinny little neck in strider.
:33 < what was it befur?? :33 < I'm a curious kitty!
Your curiosity is unfortunately going to be squashed little missy.
I just discovered that judge judy has a revamp show with a whole arsenal of episodes per season. Chris Kringle has come early by jove and he comes bearing gifts of justice for petty fraud.
Wow, sounds real exciting.
It is!!! What mystery and allure our illustrious judy brings to the stand.
Should i download a text to speech helper tool on my phone that reads not_a_virus_that_will_blow_up_your_shit_.win.rar? Vote below.
Yep
Maybe.
Oh come on bro answer like a man! What is this noncommittal higgledypiggledy.
What a straightforward and to the point answer brochacho I have to respect the hustle and also the bustle. I will download it shortly and let everyone know the outcome as i am sure i will maintain communication on my cellular and it will NOT impact anything whatsoever.
It was sarcasm bro, of course you shouldn't download the world's most obvious virus known to man, seriously Jake be a bit more smarter.
What, can't Hal have a bit of whimsy and just do some harmless pranks, besides I don't got time to get into it with you english, I'm at a cookout.
Fine! Then YOU mister cooking out are going to have to answer when i inevitably download this alleged virus dot win dot rar and my shite blows to smithereens.
Or now, this might sound a little crazy but, you don't download worlds most obvious virus, stop being a dumbass and maybe just maybe join me at the cookout I'm at, rose is there along with a few others, you might enjoy it.
What kind of brave adventurer would i be if i turned that down? A pretty shite one to be honest.