Jade Harley
@gardenGnostic
human moderator and adoptive mother to my biological daughter from an alternate universe whos 2 years older than me
A chittrUser's dirty little pamphlet guide to fuck-ass trinkets with no value. Or. "The Fuck's A Badge Anyway?" Badges. Chittr's answer to: "What if my avatar, banner, and username just ain't enough bling. How will people know that I have atypical gendering, a love for snails, the joking ire of at least one moderator?" Fret not, McGee. In her infinite codematronly wisdom, Mocáli Flaske has devised a solution to all these representative woes. You only have to grovel for it. Am I joking? We'll see. → "Where does this hideous pixel slop live?" The humble badge is displayed beside your username for every chump to see. On some devices, hovering over the little shits will display highly humorous titles and subtitles dictating the intended purpose or goal of said little shit. [Yes, it doesn't always work on mobile. We're looking into that, with hammers. Maybe this post will be retroactively edited to laugh about this coding folly. Maybe it won't.] When receiving a badge, a moderator makes sweet backroom love to the secret assignment button, shipping your "I'm so cool." indicator directly to your site SETTINGS page by sicknasty stork. Just above your permanent profile deletion options, or the DANGER ZONE, lives the user-side badge repository. Application is simple. Click that thing. Hit save. Clicking multiple badges lets you arrange them in order of selection. Highlighting nonbinary, neopronouns, #TeamPlay means all badges display in that configuration. Such technology. Such innovation. → "Is there a list of these things?" Nope. Certain users have crowd-sourced a rough guesstimation of the badge situation, now months out of date. We haven't made a list for a couple reasons. One: I can't be fucked to keep it updated. Two: the Chittr Team considers badges to be equal parts intra-community chitchat material and reward for sake of reward. See a badge you just need to boast? Ask the freak bearing this heavy crown where they got that thing. Look at you, farming Kult and Kull score organic style. Useless engagement numbers are warm for your form. This social capital is maddening. It could go to your head. → "Okay, man. What if I already know what I need? Who do I threaten?" Great attitude there, McGee. You can direct message a schmuck bearing the Blue Shield badge, displayed beside my username for convenience. That's the "official moderator" badge, assigned to pure of heart maidens like myself. Or, you can just ping my hand-coded NOT-brainclone badgebot @imJunior. It gets the job done. Usually. ...What? Oh. I get it. Groveling for a badge is out of character for you. Likely story, but we'll play it cool. I know your game, so we've got a solution to your desperation. Go to the Chittr Official Discord and open a ticket. You'll get what you're looking for. The satisfaction you crave. Unless the badge is user-unique, assigned to just one guy. Then you can get fucked right down the street and around the corner. → "What the hell? People can have unique badges? Where's mine? Show me the face of God." Simple enough. Unique badges are awarded by request, usually following a user reaching a milestone. This can be an event, some dashboard drama users got mad twisted up in, a party hosted at your pad, the act of reaching an arbitrary Kult or Kull score, or just like... some bullshit. One guy got badged for writing a few pick-up manuals. It's that easy. The "reach out" element is not negotiable. Bitch about your sordid achievements to Junior or another moderator. Open a ticket. Engagement feeds the gaping hole in my chest where self-love would usually make home. Don't you care. Don't you want me. Anyway. Sometimes badge ideas are rejected. It's not personal; the team will explain why each time. You can request community badges too, for your little clubs or just a general badge for any sadsack to use. Like snails? Leaves? A specific hemocaste? A free-for-all badge can help you foster imaginary bonds with losers you'll never chitt. At the end of the day, we're all shitheads looking for connection. Make it easier by requesting a badge for the gang. → "Tell me more about these wondrous toys, oh Prince." Beg, again. Haha. Just kidding. Every badge image scrunches down to 32 by 32 pixels. Talk about laundry shrinkage. What the fuck is this? Profile jewelry for ants? The maximum information contained is 100 KB, because storing this shit ain't cheap. Yes, you can submit your own badge images including GIFs, but I'll force Junior to slow that shit down if it's a flashy epileptic sleeper activation bomb. So. Be cool. Generally speaking, Chittr's not in the market to make badges about hating a motherfucker or explicitly advertising dong. Not sure where the sandy line was drawn? Just ask. Sometimes Junior will show up in your comments to randomly badge you. It does that. Usually the badge given is in reference to some bullshit you pulled, like tagging things properly or being a specific type of nuisance. Junior doesn't have feelings. It's not personal. You can own infinite badges, but you can only equip seven. Switch them out, mix them up, dragonmax 'til the knights get roasted. I'm not your God and the paradoxical reach of universal discretion is just barely in your grasp. Go forth and freak it. → "So. Can I get a badge?" You know what? Your tenacity is almost tolerable. Sure. I made one just for you. Comment "prince bitch idiot" to receive it. Receiving a quadrant reaction means you're part of the in-crowd.
What if I want to be part of the badge-assigning taskforce? I love Junior to pieces, TO PIECES, I say. But even the champion of the people deserves their rest, and I have all the disposition to (wo)man the post when our favorite bot needs their respite.
Imagine feeling empathy for a badgebot. Could not be me.
Junior is one of the five most precious beings on this platform and deserve the world and everything that comes with it.
please be nicer to jr.... theyre very nice and have emotions and stuff :/
dont worry most of the mods agree
We've been over this. Junior is an auto-badger. That's it.
hes also a whole dude >:T
relationships are kinda hard for me.... i wanna date someone but nobody in my timeline is interested or has time or anything.... it doesnt help that im lesbian so my options are limited :/
Love Is Harsh, You Have My Apologies. Dating Those You Know Longest Isn't An Option And It Hurts I Know Firsthand Eventually Someone Will Come Along Though A Girl You Are Interested In, I Hardly Doubt You Would Be Alone Forever
how do you and rose manage the lopsided immortality.... that feels really hard to overcome.... :(
Well, I'm Currently Dead So I'm Not Sure If That Answers Or Leaves More Questions Aside From That I'm Not Dating Anyone Either I'm A Bit Unique
oh my gosh im so sorry for assuming :0
It's Fine, Seems A Little Frequent With Versions Of Me. In The End You Get Used Too It Though.
im doing my best to adjust to timeline stuff :/ its still pretty hectic
My Condolences, Time Is A Difficult Aspect To Understand.
its kinda hard for both of us :/
It Is, But The Longer You Are Around The Easier You Understand It
ill keep doing my best then
remember to take your hrt or troll hrt :)
I DO nOT KNOw How To TElL You tHAT THat IS NOt How pHeroMOneS Work, ConsIderinG thAT pHEROMoNES alter A gIVeN beiNGS HOrMoNE prODuCtIOn, which ARE WhAt ALteR tHE SeCoNDarY seX cHaRacTeRIStics TyPICaLlY DEsirEd Out of A MEdiCaL TransitION. Do Not TelL a TRoLl sCiEntIsT Who sTuDIES TRolL gENetICs hOW trOll BIOLOgy WoRKs.
that was how it was explained to me by my friend who is a trans troll.... maybe it wasnt accurate but they werent rude about describing it >:T i wanna learn but the idea of talking to you more is frustrating :(
IT'S rEAlLy not Much DifFERENT ThAn mAmmALiAn HRT, HAVINg STudied BOtH FOR ONE REaSoN oR ANOTHeR. wE May be INsEcToId, BUT OUr bioLOgIeS StiLL Produce LeVels Of MAscuLinIZInG anD fEMiNizINg HormonEs IN vaRYIng LeVels tHAT NATUrALLY THat Give US ouR (UnNECeSSary, Imo) SEx ChARactERistiCs SO TroLLs WHo wIsH to HaVE differEnT sECONDaRY SEX cHarACteRISTIcs TAKE mEdicATIons wHICH ALtEr tHoSE hoRMONE levElS. i SuppOSe SOme TROlLs find thAT PHErOmoNES dO THe tricK, BuT IT WoULd tAkE LoNGEr Since oUR sPeCiES DoEsn'T nEcesSAriLY NEed tO mAIntain A GeNDER ratIO, it's FaR eAsIER JUsT tO TreAT ThE hORMONeS at THEIR BASE.
thank you for describing it nicely :) thats actually super duper interesting!! would there be any practical differences between using pheromones vs using actual hormones and hormone suppressants?? :D
WEll phEroMOnes in HuManOIds ARe sTrICTLY OLFaCToRY WIthout NECeSsArY EXTerNal rEceptORS, Which we'VE evoLVED out of NEEding AT LeaSt a dozen eMPeRial rEIGnS AgO. SO In rElyiNg ON PHEromones, YOu'Re RElYInG ON A BIoLOGIcaL IMPeRAtIve tHat //MAy// Be cOdEd iNtO US buT WhoSe biolOgical PUrPose iS lONg sINCE DEfuNCT sInCe we CAN Reproduce REGARDlESs OF A trOLls giveN sEx, BecAUsE there'S a tErTIarY RePROductIvE eLement (ThE moThEr gRUB). LiKe THoSE Fish wHO chaNge SEx WhEN THeRe ARE nO maLES Or feMalES present in a gIven scHOOl. It WoRks, SuRE. BUT THe pROcESs wOuld bE Slow, not OnlY bECAUSE IT iS a biOLogIcal pROcEsS NO lOnGeR EmpLoYed By THE sPEcIes AT larGe, buT aLso BEcAusE soCIAllY YOU WOuLD BE cONstanTlY sUrrouNDED bY TROlLS Of otHEr sexEs ReLeAsIng The COnflictING PheRoMoNEs. wHereAS By trEatINg The hoRmonAl DIfFEReNceS DIrEcTLy, yOU aRe CUtTIng Out THE risk of yoUr tranSitioN BEiNg IndIRectlY disRUpted. It's likE ReLYiNG on YouR wisdoM tEeth TO KEEP YouR TEeTH sTrAiGhT. IT migHT WOrk fOR some tRoLLs, bUt ThE pORTIon OF The pOPulaTIoN it wOuLd WoRK fOr is sO MINutE, I WOUlDN'T EVEn BotHer bringiNg it up aS a sUGgesTiON wHEN PREScriBing fOr sUcH THInGs.
i know for a fact troll sex is determined by pheromones given off by their given lusus to have the trolls secondary sexual characteristics match their lusus but i didnt know trolls also gave off their own pheromones :0
//EVErY// lIVIng bEINg GIves oFF PHEROMOnes, MISS HarlEY. EVen pLANts haVe THEIR owN FORMS of PHErOMones.
well i mean yeah i more mean pheromones that determine something so significant in other trolls hehe :P
PHErOMOne seXINg ViA luSI Is AN IMPREciSe ThInG, MISs HarlEY. aND NoT aCTualLy aCcUrate TO EvERY TrolL iN eXISTENCE. AftER All, I'vE KNOWN mAnY a TROll aCROss My VASt LifesPAn WhoSE BiolOGiCaL SEX fRoM HATchING DID //NoT// mAtCh tHAt OF THEIR Lusi, AND wHile TheSe tRoLls Are GEneraLly cOnSIDEREd anOMaLOus, iT Is cERTaINLY noT UNHeARD oF. I woULD SaY iT'S faR mORE ACCUrAtE to SaY tHaT LuSi choOSE THEiR CHArGEs ViA pHeRoMOnes. OtHeRwISE, IF we tROllS WeRE so COMpLETeLY ReLiaNt oN sexinG VIA hormones, we WouLD BE in a CONSTant StaTE Of flUX WelL INto OUr AdULthoODs AS wE CAme inTo contacT WITh oTHER trOlls ANd THeIR LuSi. EspECiALlY YOUnG tRoLLS wiTHin oUr CItIES. ANd tROLls hAvE SENsEs OF GenDER ANd seXuaL difFeRENCes LONg BeFoRe tHEy UnDerGO pUBescEnt CHAnGEs. But YeS, iF yoU ATTemPT to uNdeRgo sEX alTeratIOn ViA PhErOmOnE AT A grown age, yOU //wILl// BE aFfEctED by thOse arOUnD YoU, bECAuSE YOU Are AtTEMpTing TO kIcK-StArT A seNSitive biOloGiCaL ProCess.
this is genuinely very interesting and i wanna hear as much as youre willing to tell :)
Personally im unexpected item in bagging area.
have you clicked on the links at the bottom of the page?? theres like a whole thing :)
i watched project hail mary and it made me cry like a dork so much :P
Youre telling me! I was blubbering into my kerchief like some war widow.
it really feels like your kinda movie!! what i liked about it most is the sheer volume of science thats completely air tight!! theres stuff that requires suspension of disbelief but so much of it followed a really basic train of logic that had me calling every scientific discovery as soon as i got all the information :D its an absolute treat for analysis and it has me wanting to read so so much fanfiction
Youve got splendid taste as ever and i say that as someone whos rewatched the movie more times than id care to admit in polite company. Youre dead on the money about the science of it all and thats exactly the bit that got its hooks good and proper into me too. None of that lazy handwavey hogwash you get in most of your run of the mill space flicks no siree. This one actually made a you WORK for the answers right alongside the chap on screen. And fanfiction oh absofuckinglutely i am ALL for that. That friendship at the heart of the whole shebang deserves about a thousand more pages than the runtime ever gave it. So if you stumble across anything good you simply must send it my way posthaste and ill drop whatever nonsense im doing at the drop of a hat.
the same goes!! i wanna read and watch and listen to so much more about the interplanetary nerd besties so if you find anything good please do tell me!! :D
mgonna be sick
please be ok rose :(
sorry about that i'm ok thanks jade
i care about you :)
yeah, i just generally need better therapy. i can't explain to my current one what it feels like to die.
is it rose?? :/
teleporting mail today :) im gonna pack a steak for lunch
Well it is only fair I do the same. A rare treat. Would you like a profile badge for your trouble?
only if thats ok!!
As I understand you should be able to award it to yourself. But I think your time is worth a few small pixels and text.
it wouldnt be the first time i help out i guess hehe :P