♦ pitied by @gardenGnostic
Jade, thats. Okay look. Im not going to pretend I know anymore about timelines, fate or probability than any other bozo out there. But. I know for a fact that you can be better than either of those versions of you, because of one reason. If my father can stand to be tolerable enough to allow *me* to exist, than you definitely can. You dont have to be bad. The fact that youre scared to be bad is a great step in the right direction to Not being bad. You can be good, I truly believe you can. Not to get all "teeth-rotting-fluff" sappy on you or anything.
You do know you don't have to become *either* of those right
Jade, I have never ONCE met a single version of you that was horrible on purpose, every last one was an absolute sweetheart. You are not bad, you probably just need therapy and that hug you so clearly need and deserve.
If thats selfish, I'm the most greedy bastard on the planet.
We all have our flaws.
shout out 2 that time i found out god tierin wont save u from a ruptured appendix
Stow the puppy eyes, Jade. I'm only kidding about gutting the first sleeper.
I'll leave you as an exception to this game if you help me with the first Non-Jade guest who dozes off.
We'll just have to see where the night takes us, Harley.
woof
mmm mmmmm mmmmmmmm ... ... iiiii could argue with you bout that. and honestly i want to! but like, its wayy too late over here plus im rlly sleepy to have a full blown discussion on the nuances of living dictated by any impulses lmao. i do want to talk about it at some point!!! for some other day tho. thx for sticking around regardless at least <33 mmmmmwwwwaaahh!!!
your mark is forever left on this site
better a bunch of daves than a bunch of mes…
really? i mean i get where you are coming from but im not letting her anywhere near my head thanks >~< not anymore… people being anywhere near poking around my head is a big ol NOPE for me in general anyway id argue shes the reason so many of us are like this in the first place lol
sigh… we really need to get our shit together when it comes to our sleep patterns…
bluh… my sleep schedule is so fucked up right now… one of many things that are wonky with me right now but that one is particularly unhelpful
Earth C economy sounds pretty fucked up right now. Chat, if I were to call for a vote of no confidence in this new leadership and demand an election, could you get behind that?
B33 < i s33 how it is... B33 < *ag walks away sadly with their pawsome gigantic rolex watch dangling off their wrist beclaws it doesnt fit*
mAYBE? i MEAN IT IS NOT REALLY, aNYTHING AFFECTING ME PERSONALLY, aHAHA, iT JUST SEEMS, a LOT OF MY FRIENDS ARE NOT REALLY, gIVEN GRACE,
nOT REALLY? jUST, oNGO1NG THINGS, mOSTLY,
sOMETIMES, aLL i REALLY WANT, iS FOR PEOPLE TO BE NICER, tO MY FRIENDS, i DO NOT TH1NK THAT 1S REALLY, sO MUCH TO ASK FOR, rEALLY,
you dont care about their little baby paprika??? 8(
₍^. .^₎⟆ Keep the bush꠹
... I'm sorry.
These versions of you sound like bad fanfiction. That said I have my doubts you have to worry about being like either one given you already have the awareness not to mimic their mistakes.
:33 < is that meawby a yes but nyat right nyaw? ;3
fuck im sorry jade
i dont see why talking would cause me trouble if im volunteering? anyway… looking at some of your previous posts let me give you some advice because ive been there? (if you want otherwise ignore me) seriously youre like what? 10 years younger than me? same age i was when i started messing around with all of this multiversal internet thingy look… it… does get better if you stick it out its sometimes going to be depressing and lonely and sucky and i mean SUCKY but… it can get better promise :) also stay away from the fanfic it will make you sad trust me
idk if it means fuck all but your future can be anything you want it to be like cartoons were right ok you got this but if you need a break take it
* i'm sure there's someone out there for you..! you just gotta stay open to the opportunities in life and take any chances you get! * its just how i experience life though. i do feel theres some truth to it! so no need to lose out hope now girl! <:]
unrelatedly if this pizza place takes any longer with my order im going to do something drastic. :/
NO. IM NOT DUMB. FOR FUCK SAKE.
you go try growing up in a isolated fuckin lab on god knows where island that i guess im still stuck in and a mom who just gives you dog food and tells you to fuck off. not giving any basic info or shit. CALLING YOU A FAILURE AND LYING TO YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. AND WHAT DOES SHE DOES NEXT? SHE FUCKIN DECIDES TO SELL YOU AWAY TO SOME FUCKASS WEIRDO DICTATOR ASSHOLE POLITICIAN OR WHATEVER THE WORD IS THAT PLACES YOU IN A FUCKIN SHOCK COLLAR WHENEVER YOU DONT OBEY HER. SHE THEN DRAFTS YOU TO FUCKIN I DONT KNOW THE SAME ISLAND. AND IF YOU END UP KNOWING EVERYTHING CONGRATS. IM NOT DUMB. FOR FUCK SAKE. FUCK. FUCK. SHIT. IM NOT VENTING OK. THIS IS BULLSHIT. >;B NO. IM NOT FUCKIN CRYING. FUCK. I HATE THIS. WHY DID THAT WORD GET INTO MY HEAD. UGH. SORRY FOR ALL THIS BULLSHIT. ILL JUST STAY QUIET ON MY PLACE. <;B #venting
im taking a break. dont bother me.
woof
greedy.
c< i fliNcH wHeN peOple 2ucH Me >c
phy§ical touch i§. eugh. at lea§t for me per§onally.
woof
Physical contact scary
wat wron
jade.. there are so many split us' running around. you can't take the blame for what one or a few of the different versions do or did. because, as i see it, you're different people now. the moment they did something different, then they are no longer you.
theres a lot more into it. but i would rather not tell you. i guess.
i mean. you havent locked me from population and fed me dog food. thats a starter. does it help if i say uh. ok. no. well. i totally would prefer you as my mom rather than her.
i hate my mom and even so im saying this to uhm. my mom? yeah. no you arent a nuisance. youre one of the coolest jades around. totally im fine with you.
Surprisingly Enough It Was One Of The First Things I Saw After Refreshing And Thats It
:33 < meow get mew
or. i guess just. lose your ability to communicate. or detect bullshit.
candy? huh. well, i made a new friend... niece? technically? uh. either way i'm learning about versions of my friends i want to strangle.
aw jade, one of those days huh.
all yesterday. learned better th0ugh. i can recommend y0u a game if you'd like tw0 skip to the end 0f the learning process th0ugh and give up on it.
0h go0d some0ne's tagging in for my shift. have fun.
i dont need this i do not need this im already busting my ass off in this war i dont need any more stress!
Wait give me some
okay? uh genuinely, what do you want me to say to that??
i dont know!!! thats the scary part!! i dont know whats wrong and they wont answer me when i ask them!!!! D:
logging on to see harry here! what a pleasant and maybe unexpected surprise?
ummm... i feel!! really concerned about the clones now, hhh @_@; i cant reach my friend though about this... uhh...
The Mutt is trying to take. The kills that are mine.
Killing Jack is my thing.
And why do you look like me ???
oh hell no #dashwatching #instantblock
update: he pranked me, threw a pie in my face when i came up the stairs. now i might cry.
you almost ate someone????????
I would accept going literally anywhere else.
....OK SO HOW THE FUCK DID I MISS OUT ON THE FACT THAT MY DANCESTOR FOUND OUT A WAY TO GO GODTIER?
I Believe It Is Time For Me To Move On. My Dearest Kanaya, I Remember Our First Night Together, I Was Of Course Inherited Barely Able To Do Anything. In Trying To Get Over Facing You I Had Shot Myself In The Foot Like A Moron. Luckily You The Always Forgiving We're Still Willing To Give Me A Shot. We Spent So Many Sweeps Together, Things Weren't Perfect I Wouldn't Argue That But...i Remember Our Nights Together Where We Just Were Boring, Watching A Movie Cuddling Nothing Special Just Loving One Another. And I Apologize For Not Keeping My Promise, I Said Working For Him Wouldn't Split Us Up, I Was Wrong. I Said I Would Come Back That Night, I Was Wrong, And I Said In Any Lifetime I Would Find You Again. And Well, That One Was The Most Wrong Of All I Think. I Don't Know If Your Still Alive, Or If Your Maybe In A Dream Bubble Far Out There But I Needed To Get This Off My Chest. I Loved You, And I Still Do. I Cannot Wait To See You Again My Love. But I Can't Stay Focused On You Forever I Have To Move On, When I Die And We Meet I Will Be At Your Side In A Heartbeat. For Now Though, Rest Easy I Hope You Find Someone Who's Good To You. Sincerely, Your Beloved Rose. https://i.postimg.cc/fy2rtwts/305c57ff2e7fa0b33a1158a040b49177-4.jpg
uggggh true!!!!
its so fucking hot ugh!!! i hate summer...
oh my god my notifications are awful
THIS IS SICK
im running away forever.
HES HERE... I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE
i feel like maybe you are mocking me a bit but i cant really tell
i accidentally liked one of cronus' posts its so over
please. please please dont look at me
何が妨げてるの？
wait
yeah these heatwaves have been SCORCHING and the humidity does *not* help
oh. i dont think so.
if one more of jacks kids but in adult form shows up on here im going to have an existential crisis
i repeat. what.
no. im really used to the name now. also. why the fuck are you actually being nice?
i really didnt think that would just instantly invoke her alternatives. THE FUCK.
i think my brain is wired wrong :/
is it weird to like following orders no matter how much you personally disagree with them the line keeps blurring for me
I’m as comforta8le to hug as a cactus.
Must 8e sleeptalking! I have no idea what you are saying!
Hmmm. Have you tried teleporting to a specific location instead of "away"?
jADE, iF i WANTED TO DO AN #NSFW BUSTING, i WOULD JUST ASK T:{
Have you tried to teleport out?
Interesting. #machinelearning
╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ ╰┈➤ WWW.HEN WWW.𝙸LL 𝙸T BE MY TURN
╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ ╰┈➤ Sorry
╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ ╰┈➤ Takeme here as www.ell @~,,,@
i am !!!!! and a lack of experience does not mean i am a kid !!! bluhh!!!
yOU DIDN'T NEED TO BRING, aLL THAT,,,
jADE,,,,,,,,
dO YOU WANT TO JOIN? i AM GETTING THE JADES THAT rOXY ALREADY, #JADEBUSTING, bUT DIDN'T WANT TO KEEP,
Hi Jade. I love you. Sorry. I DON'T NEED TO TALK. I need to catch him.
WHY DID I THINK HE COULD HELP. He is useless. Every one of him is useless. Wastes of space. ROTS on space. I cannot keep dancing around this chase. He has to die. I have to kill him. I will catch him. Grip him by the throat. Slam my fist into his maw until it shatters and wretches back into his face. Make him choke on the fragments of his teeth. Slowly. Listen to him try to plead through it. I do not need my sword. That would be too quick a death. Drive my fist into his chest. Shatter his carapace. Squeeze his heart until it pops. Feed it to him. Down his throat with his teeth. I will take a picture of it. To remember his face. When he dies. (( #gore #violence ))
i need to stop unlocking new kinks >_<
a version of you decided it'd be funny if i was small today, i guess!
given the weird intersection of timelines thats been going on lately i don't even know if it was MY jade that did all that as her super funny prank or not.
Everyone is. You aren't a cosmic exception. Just try, sometime. Prioritize yourself. It will turn out just fine.
i kinda feel like a charactrer assasomantion of mueslf tbh so i get it in a weird way
You are the most important thing in your life. You should never sacrifice your happiness for something. ...But I agree. I have seen verions of myself, versions of you, who have made terrible, terrible mistakes together. I wouldn't wish that on either of us, or Kanaya, or that hypothetical daughter. That isn't who you are, that isn't who I am. I cannot believe there are verions of us who could let such things happen.
Well, that isn't true at all. And it's a terrible way to think about yourself. My entire Earth C would do anything to see our Jade no longer suffering, and I would do anything to prevent another from suffering.
Apologies for the accidental hate reaction.
:33< i undpurr stand clawmpurrletley
I know the feeling very well.
no answer the FUCKING QUESTION RIGHT NOW!!! WHY ARE YOU BEING NICE TO ME!?
NO SHUT UP WHY ARE YOU BEING NICE TO ME YOURE BEING ACTUALLY NICE NOT DESPERATE TO WIN ME OVER
no shit why the fuck are you being so normal
okay so where did the black fur come from?
i dunno if im the type to even be confident like that :(….
i know!! i just think id get super embarrassed… maybe i will leave the flirting to the pros :ppppp
bluhhh i can not do flirting for the life of me !! youre braver than me for even trying!
the dress i bought was shorter than i wanted it to be and i keep not getting rid of it thinking ill work up to wearing it. but i should probably just understand im not comfortable in that kind of stuff!!! that isnt going to change out of nowhere. its just a shame because other than that its really really pretty….
…wow, other jades on here are really horny huh? i mean im not judging!!!! It just always catches me off guard? i feel like id be too embarrassed to post stuff like that.. where do you guys get so confident?? #nsfw
i dont need friends i have drugs #substance #substance
READ ALL ABOUT IT — [ As I said last time, human girl 'Jade' just says anything. ]
D --> I have made this mistake Nepeta was very sick but she got better
"mostly content" is not good enough! i'm not gonna fuck u unless u want it jade :(
either get bred or let me go breed! your choice, jade
i sent calliope some flowers... is that something people do to apologize for almost killing each other??
who knows what'll happen jade!! we might pet ourselves into oblivion
lonely dog looking for pets
fuck that!!!!!!!! jade as much as i still love my empress, i am coming to terms with the fat that her taking me over was the worst thing to happen to me maybe it is different since my timeline was doomed from the start but who gives a shit!!!! it is practically not even a concept that matters after the game!!!!!!! you must have been given access to chittr for a reason jade, maybe this is it!! maybe you are supposed to escape like i did!!!!!!
woof, im sorry jade.... she seems really scary!!! do you want me to bark at her until she goes away?
essentially, yes. my presence in dead jade within the version of earth-c confined in my body allows me to directly access the you on the opposing version of earth-c, enabling a more extreme level of intervention than what's possible through scripting alone in these circumstances.
you do "at least get to be [you] again after". once you leave earth-c, narrative possession will no longer be necessary to interface with the pieces on the board. the main jade i inhabit died without the possibility of revival during your session.
the event having already happened aside, it is within the bounds of "essentiality." the doomed timeline generated by attempting to prevent it would not survive for long.
i like both of your enthusiasms but like.....chill, please???
oh shit did bro think poppop harley was hot it really is genetic hahahahaha
i don't mean jake jade
awh, thanks harley. you wouldn't be saying that if i mentioned i thought your grandpa was hot
i also had most of those things! i havent seen bec since i was a little girl so it really makes me sad i never got to say goodbye but it was around that time auntie lalonde came and let me stay with her for a couple of years so being roomies with rose really took the sting out of losing my boy at least
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K--<i used to be like that but now i just strugglepost 24/7 and people like me more
learned a new thing about my alt selves... :/ not sure how to feel about it! #vagueposting but im #dashwatching
If I have to hear my mothers refer to me as an immaculate conception one more time I swear
I'm not your mother but I'll take the opportunity to be a nuisance. Immaculate conception.
wHAT IS CONFUSING, aBOUT BUSTING INTO JADES?
you know how seldom the number lie, jade
nope! you have to accept it! we other jade's held a vote and it came out that 100% of jades think you're the best one!
okay enough of that. stand up. straighten your shoulders and RISE! you have to be better than this if you ever want to make the world right. don't beat yourself up constantly and make it so everyone's too busy worrying how they're gonna say it than just saying it. that's how we got into this mess i'm pretty sure.
gaaaaagh come on don't do the frowny face that's so sad to look at. now i feel bad.
do better.
you have to give me a little bit of hope here. jesus christ.
I'm )(ig)( and upset from getting rejected. -Everyfin Codamn suckssss -Except monopoly Monopoly rules
)(e)(e)(e Ug)( I made a complete clownfis)( of myself today I wis)( I would've been sober maybe t)(en I wouldn't )(ave glubbed t)(e w)(ole t)(ing up! I don't like being sober 38(
'the homestuck fandom is normal'))
it ain't easy being... red? that doesn't have the same ring to it. how does kermit the frog do it.
just what we need :|
what... is going on??
you say that like i'm not stuck being 13 when i close my eyes. yay i figured out my gender. that definitely solved everything else.
Jade I want you to look me in my cute kitty face and tell me I grew up. Or Dave!!
Can you truly say that any of us grew up?
// ACTUAL JUMPSCARE ON MY TIMELINE /VPOS
man what?? how come YOUR daughter gets full bladekind but i was stuck with knifekind!!!! can you call my dad and tell him he's a bitch B/
god its i feel it i havent felt lyrics before!! i dont think!!!!
sorry... ._.
(tags: Reader/Empress, #rankworks, #nsfwe, #nsfw, anonymous requester, mindcontrol, violence, #gore, noncon, size difference, submit, obey, caste difference, what a good girl, f/f, archive rating:E) concept: s)(e cannot be stopped your body writhes beneath her teeth clenched and tears staining your temples as large hands grab at your hips to force you into every violation you can feel her smile looming above you one bite of her endless teeth into your delicate throat could end everything right here your fear is a paralyzing ice pumping through every inch of your body she sees that fear and she devours it whole there are only small moments when you can feel your body beneath your own control it belongs to her why should she let you use it? your pan is her dominion and she will conquer you will obey you will submit she will consume her hands wrap around your neck as she uses you body bouncing limply as if you were nothing but a disposable toy to be torn through and tossed once properly filled "what a good girl" she mutters against your ear there is no love in this she says it because it makes you tighter for a single moment the same way you seize up when she draws blood or stuffs your throat is it because your body knows this is what you were made for? you need her to tell you what is right and wrong you cant do anything yourself "what a good sleeve" your fear is just your body playing tricks on you you want this you want to be useful one more time before she disposes of you it is an honor to serve your empress
wwait maybe maybe not yet still overwhelmed
i am im safe jade is here shes still asleep wuff
my empress and jane lot of thoughts right now hahahhha (( #incest ))
shes still dead
ok i i think i am lucid i dont even want to say what is happening because some people will be mean and i am really really fucking fragile right now but shes gone dont you fucking dare celebrate for me i am scared and alone and confused and tired so tired i think i flipped the fuck out and blew up the moon im im just sort of waiting now jade said she was going to get me and i want to trust her it feels like its going to work this time jinx couldnt get all the way through but she gave me some shirts from the other betas and jane ok thats whats happening fuck everyone who was cheering for this
its not unfun? its like a puzzle i guess
no!!! no sorry im just!!! i am having feelings that im only almost ready to even think about and my thinkpan is swirling and none of it is words yet im still untangling the little strands
bark!!!!
She is lucky my kid wants to play video games
We have two We can lose one.
Im killing pm
of course that was me. who the fuck else would it be. stupid. stupid stupid stupid dog
ohh. right. poor ruby... yeah idk what's up with her timeline, everyone seems so weird there...
lol true! but tbh sexuality is fluid as hell, so that's honestly not even that weird. i'm more talking about the uh. evil one. 8(
it's not a guarantee!! some jades are nothing like me at all! but what's wrong with being me? :(
makes me kinds tinglyffff
hhoq did makssra functyiob like tgus #substances #soporposting
jaaaadeeeee
i dont know harley i'm fighting for my life here
i offered to include you in a rowwdy sesh of belly rubs and you bit the flipper offered and yet im loww enough to offer again fido
i was doing a rehearsal / and the weird guy / he showed up again / why does he need to frequent the best place to do on stage practice
I'd post something but I feel like I'd get judged
i’m going to start keeping track of all the harleys on here because at this point it’s getting a little confusing and i keep getting surprised. green text + harley does NOT equal the one i’m actually looking for. not that i think he would actually use his real name on the internet. or have access to chittr. (but i’m choosing to be hopeful on that second one)
yeahh... that's probably part of it.
have you tried a v-neck shirt or wearing tightish pants
38/ I t)(ink if Gl'bgolyb ever floats t)(e boat as it were, I'd be devastated!
38/ Felt.
38(!!!!
38(
yeah no i'll be perfectly fine. every time i die i just like. wake up back in my house ready to throw myself at the problem again.
i've kind of already been here for like a year and a couple months.
it's been like a month. i'm kinda just throwing myself at the problem until i win.
lord english death count: 74.
uUUUUUUUGH i AM SUCH A JERK,
i just can't win today.
the whole estrogen thing got me feeling like i'm part balloon if you catch my meaning.
I'm rig)(t )(ere, silly! 38P
Aaaaugh. Head ouchie. Heart ouchie.
really? if a human is already beneath her, how low do you think a dog is?? especially for. that. purpose.
you get how that would be even more degrading to her right???? >:/
oh. OH. well i do not really know how to get your mind off that one! the old lady takes care of that for me.
i mean, yeah, that's true, i guess. there's just specific things that stick with me, you know? they're hard to shake.
i get in these weird introspective moods a lot lately. i think something about the game fucked me up, but i'm not really sure how to approach it? like, yeah, the whole... uh... girl? journey? was pretty good. i'm pretty happy about that, even though i feel awkward about it sometimes. but... i dunno. i still think about my dad a lot. and a bunch of other stuff. maybe i should tag this with something. #vent ?
it's so intense jaaddeeee :(((
jesus christ how the fuck does she not see how sad that is???? D8 at least shes not actively suffering... maybe?? or maybe she just cant say it 8( #vagueposting #momposting #whichmakesitnotthatvague
i am being perfectly straightforward jade! just because i enjoy my life doesnt mean i dont know its the bad ending just because i love the old lady doesnt mean i dont know she brainwashed me to these may seem like contracictions to you but she smooths them out for me! it all makes perfect sense :)
the old lady gave me an implant that produces it automatically! i only have to refill it once every sweep! do you want me to see if i can find the specs to send over?
she has two hands!! and you know what? kiss kanaya too so shes not left out!! i know you think shes cute too and if she doesnt feel the same then she has shit taste!
oh my god, was i really this pitiful? yes, jade! youre hot!! i have a whole goddamn fan club here, and thats AFTER the mass murder! you. are. hot. any woman would be lucky to kiss you!! you should remind them of that!!!!
YOUR IMITATORS ARE ENDEARING! HAVE YOU SEEN 'BROADWAY KARKAT'S CATALOGUE?! IF WE ALL LISTENED TO THAT FUCKING ASSCLOWN EVERYONE WOULD THINK I'M OBSESSED WITH TRYING TO QUADRANT ALL OF MY FRIENDS! EVEN THE DOUCHEBAGS!
well, yeah? but that is just what happens when you turn evil! you do mean awful things!
well i am sorry jade but that is just how the cookie had to crumble. it wasnt anything personal!!
oh, posh, people post far worse! if anything, it jUst makes me thankfUl cherUb reprodUction doesn't come with a similar biological imperative...
uuuugh i know the feeling :c do what you have to to get through it!
im always a little hesitant to post horny on here, just because ive got a mostly unearned reputation on my earth c as some kind of sex predator and i really dont want to feed the rumors but then again, how many earth c papparazos are likely to be on here?
bow chicka wow wow! 8V
Official statement. The subsection of the Creator Pantheon formerly known as the "Alpha Kids" are NOT in any manner of vacillating quadruple-slash-quintuple. Thank you.
i get the feeling all of you are secretly plotting to kill me. stop doing that plz!!!!!!!!
૮₍ ´ ꒳ `₎Ა
PLEASE.
MEOWING
oh wow lot of freaky people here hahahaha oh gosh
skill issue im afraid! ive made friends with almost every single other jade ive ever met
Something Tells Me That The Age Youve Listed On Your Profile Is Inaccurate
love how the character limit is insanely high like this is generous usually its a hundred characters on other platforms i just know at some point someones going to post the bee movie script or the navy seal copypasta but alternianified what brave hero will risk getting nuked off the platform to do this first