@karmaDagger — #cw-mental-health
@karmaDagger whreminder enwhen wakeup. no alcoocl. ever ahgain. nomore
ithink imight have a driinking problem whem i get too anxioius. stupif karmam
..wow ikm a piece ofshtit
i mean im kinda over my crashout now even though its been only a few hour's but im used to this kind of thing cause of mental illness. harus still kind of shaken up i think. but like. its gonna be ok. fate changed. my last word's before i hop off again and subject myself to the time bubble once more: there are 69 user's on at time of writing. nice.
i need... a list. ok. hm. heres my to-do list 1. get someone who can alchemize shit to try and make a portable version of wingding assholes universe-teleporty-machine because transportalizers with universal coordinates is too complicated for dumb puppie's and i want the freedom to go wherever whenever 2. design an outfit that doesnt suck ass. right now ive just gone back to the pale dirty yellow shirt with the dark green jacket. i need something new that i can wear consistently thatll be as iconic as the grey striped sweater look was 3. get a new apple pfp because i dont want to use the one wingdings...Read more
i dont know what time it is. or how long i was out. lost a lot of blood. haru healed me. man im a fucking idiot huh. maybe i should actually, idk, consider going on medication so i dont have these fuckin episodes? crazy thought. ive unblocked everyone. sorry for making people worry, for pushing people away, for generally just being mentally ill. human brains ugly i guess. or, well. im not human im just made of human parts, but you get the point. ...if im not gonna become my future self, i think that means i might be a doomed self now. not sure if that means ill die or not. my phones broken. kind o...Read more
-- karmaDagger [KD]'s phone was clogged with blood -- -- karmaDagger [KD] is now offline --
[another photo, blurry and shaky. its a green toilet bowl, full of blood with red chunks in it. karmas hand, covered in blood and vomit, grips the bowl. their skin is grey.] @knownResonance ddid ii ddo ggoood
nothing changed. because a karma is just a karma who does karma things. im not gonna follow the king in yellow. aside from the guy being a douchebag, thered just be no point. thats not a karma thing to do. its not part of my "story". not on the path im fated to follow. i was created by the demon eye. or. angel eye. whatever. to be its vessel. a copy of kris dreemurr, but fully customizable to whatever the angel picked! how fun. ...then discarded to earth. by some "burning lord" apparently. no idea what the fuck that means but im sure ill pick up the context as i go. i was abused by my family. r...Read more
this is the only way it could have ended. this is the only way it should have ended. i still dont know where haruko is right now. if the doctor. "gman". wingdings. whatever. tpd her out or. what. maybe shes asleep. but im going to. go find a hallway to crawl into. or a room or something. avoid her. and hope i just die. die so i dont become my future self. die so i dont kill anyone else like i just killed my moirail die so i dont have to be a fucking puppet to the whims of a narrative anymore die so i dont have to be a stupid fucking. npc. a character.
i k. shes. ok OK. alright. sorry. im normal now. can everyone left who considers me a friend react to this or leave a comment, please? just so i know whos left. who i havent. pushed away. im sorry. imsorry forbeing brrokemn
haru isnt here right now. i dont know what part of the mansion shes in but my moirail, katt. just got back from frrrom hhahaha thats the thing i dont even ficking know if she actualyl WENT anywhere. for all i know her leaving was just orchestreated to get her "offscreen" and she doesnt actually FUCKIGNG EXIST but shes here now. im going to find out whether shes real. one way or another.
hahahahhaahahahahahhahahahahhahHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHA god.God. even. even my ""moirail"". who took me in off of the streets on earth. fake. meeting her was orchestrated. so that eventually we would find the archived mspa on her old laptop. and find deltarune written there by hussie. and then archive it and ""reconnect"" our universe to ""gman""s my no one inmy life has ever been real. i have never been real
and YOU get blocked, and YOU get blocked, AAAND ****YOU**** GET BLOCKED oh it is fucking CHRISTMAS up in here and i am MOTEHRFUKCING SANTA RIGHT NWO
get blocked. all of you. fakefucking life. orchestrated bya smiling fucking creep pretendignto be a goofball. hhahhahah. allthe awful shit that happened to me on earth too. orchestrated. the. discardedPasts postof my future selfs memory. said as much. ggodthe awful thignsthey made me do. aand iw as just a kid andd. it was all. orchestrated. by him by the man between. the man shattered hhahaha. im not even real!! i was made! on a fuckigng COMPUTER SCREEN BY THE DEMONIC EYEBALL ASSHOLE. USING A FUCKING VIDEOGAME CONTROLLER
me being super mellow and calm lately is probably some kind of calm before the storm of a massive crashout where i push everyone i care about away in a self-destructive episode cause of mental illness, but i got an event to prepare for next week so i aint gonna think about allat #cw-mental-health? #itsprobablynothing
google how understand personal feeling's about someone google how to understand own feelings toward someone google how to understand feelings for someone when feel neither romantic or platonic but secret third thing google how talk about feelings genuinely without brain making you feel like throwing up google what is mental disorder where brain makes you feel physically sick when you feel affectionate or cared about google: (shitty ai slop response) sigh's. opens alternian web browser. goregle how understand personal feeling's about someone goregle how to understand own feelings toward someo...Read more
dont know whether to laugh or cry rn. think im just gonna block and ignore it so i never have to see it again. shouldve done that earlier.
think im just gonna go back to sleep. try and sleep all day before i have a self-destructive episode and do a bunch of awful shit to cut off everyone who cares about me.
this shit along with the failed suicide attempt (why i was gone for a whole week) paired with the gradual increase of depressive episodes and a feeling of deep loneliness even when talking to and hanging out with people i give a fuck about is really doing number's on me. but i guess thats the point. break the vessel until its suitable enough, right? ...wonder if that implies the demon eye thing is the cause of my mental health issue's recently. it isnt, ive always been this way. but i guess itd be nice to have something to blame.
am i even real at least when i was slutting out constantly i felt real. an object is real i dont think i know how to be a person. i dont think thatll ever change
i hate knowing im not even a person. created by a bunch of peoples options to be a "vessel" for some evil fucking demon eyeball and then i guess thrown down to earth like 20-something year's ago where i experienced abuse first at the hands of my sister then at the hands of the people i fell in with after running away from home when i was i didnt ask to be created i dont want to be this fucking thing thats only purpose has been to serve host to some shitty fucking eye was me being sent to earth part of it how much did wdg know would happen have i been fucking groomed for this broken so that ill make...Read more
getting morning wood used to be fine but after being raped by someone i met on pesterchum it just feel's like my own body is violating me. i didnt ask for this boner. the fuck. but i dont even know why i feel that way. its far from the first time that kinda things happened to me and i didnt give so much of a shit back then maybe its cause i care about myself more now than when i was a kid idfk #cw-rape #cw-abuse #rape #rape-mention #cw-mental-health #cw-rape-mention #cw-sexual-abuse #vent
i think im too tired to care. fuck it. behind the tree it goes with everything else i dont think about. i guess thats one benefit to mental breakdown's when you cant sleep. they make you super tired
cruel joke of the universe that i cant even cut myself to assure myself im real cause i dont bleed ever since that fucking piece of shit demon eye-knight-whatever thing possessed me. lol. lmfao. fahahah. heheheh. copies are monochrome. gman made this account for me along with the apple pfp. apparently kris deltarune has association with apple's given a couple people have mistaken me for them based on pfp alone copies are monochrome. my skin literally turn's grey when im away from the bunker-mansion for too long copies are monochrome. my older sisters name was destiny which everyone would always sh...Read more
iillalwsyss neverbbe a person iillalways bejust a bad ddog whohurtd people ttheonky way tostop it is ifi die ismrkrry imsorry
alright gamer's heres the next MILESTONE WOOO HYPESQUAD ill be K-K-K-KULLINNNNGGGG MYSELF WHEN WE REACH FIFTY!! THOUSAND!!! KULLLLL!!!! MAKE sure to hit that SUSCRIBE BUTTON'S, LEAVE A HATE, and turn on ALL NOTIFICATION'S so youre sure not to miss it this has been ya dawg THE KD, peace #cw-mental-health #cw-suicide #this-is-mostly-a-joke