♥ liked by @pickleInspector
There should 8e a question mark reaction. None of the quadrants can effectively convey utter 8afflement.
♰ i hit 50 followers.. hm.. should i post something with skin to celebrate..? #nsfw ♰
This Is A Post I Think My Wife Would Quite Enjoy Seeing On Her Timeline Later And As Such Ive Rechitted It
>([w#ere tf are all t#ese saucy accounts comin from t#ey just spawn in like flies on fruit fr]
Ahem. THE SLOBBERING DIMWIT'S GUIDE TO BUTTERCREAM VARIATIONS. If you have stumbled upon this post in search of instructions on how to assemble ANY buttercream, period, I advise you politely retract yourself. You may find yourself better suited for THE CULINARY NEANDERTHAL'S FIRST DAY ON EARTH. This is also going to be heavily-laden with my personal opinions... which on this matter I advise you to accept as fact. SWISS MERINGUE: Soft, shiny, and comparable to a marshmallow whip. Best suited as a chocolate frosting, to lend some variation in texture to a layer cake with a denser ganache filling. ITALIAN MERINGUE: More stable in shape and texture than her Swiss counterpart. Light and fluffy. Become more adventurous with your decorative swirls when you pipe your Italian meringue. Well-suited to lemon cake- again, with a heavy curd between internal layers. FRENCH: Custardy. Nearly as thick as the American, but richer due to its high egg yolk content. Pairs excellently with the dark bittersweet notes of dense sponge doused in espresso. AMERICAN: THE superior choice in sugar crusting. Delightfully crisp when bitten into after an evening of drying. Oft-accused of being overly sweet. Pair with simple yellow or confetti cake. Holds sprinkles like a champion. GERMAN: The unflinching centrist. Balanced in texture, weight, stability, and richness. Fewer yolks than the French. Not a poor choice for any partner if you're unwilling to take a hard stance. BEST suited to accompany a cake filled or topped with fresh fruit pieces. CREAM CHEESE: A heavy, tangy delight. Tank thick layers of dense sponge with this big girl. Carrot or spice cake filled with chopped nuts. No need to even carve your cake. Simply pare off the dome, frost, and go. CONDENSED MILK: A silkier, more relaxed hold on shape. Don't expect any fanciful swirls to last more than an hour outside the fridge. DO pair this toasty buttercream with a complimentary caramel layer- either betwixt your sponge, in a butterscotch chip, or in the composition of the batter itself. ERMINE: As luxurious as its stoat-pelt namesake suggests. Stabilized with a boiled flour roux. A superior balance of sweetness and texture if seeking a lighter cream whip. THE traditional choice of frosting to accompany a dark, moist, fluffy red velvet cake. Feel free to post your inquiries below. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/dc28e4b07c3f.jpg
I thank you all for one hundred followers! I have a celebratory post regarding the various differentials between the most common types of buttercream in the works. You're welcome in advance.
You are the salt of the earth.
- LOL! Look at us! The stemmcluster slickers! 😆😆
SPECTACULAR... https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/35e05037a815.jpg
- Your Pickle, I Handle it. Invoice you. We 're business. Picklesolve goes Handiworks Bye Bye, a lways on CMS
- You have a Pickle? We're going to Handle it. We Handle Problemm Pickles by two's, four's, and FRIGGIN' EIGHTS! Let mme help mme help you! HELP ME!
- Inspector, you look snazzy as all fricking HECK! Even old, lord Death in his roiling robes couldn't hold an ignition stick to you! 😆
- ANNOUNCING: Fromm the business-mminded mminds of THE @pickleInspector and mmyself (mme) ... a REVOLUTIONARY REBRAND. I KNOW you have problemms. And those problemms require the mmust helpful, hands-on solutions. We can and will help. - HANDY BUSINESS SOLUTIONS: "A Helpful Handy for your Pickle!" Because we aren't letting go of your Pickle until we've thoroughly Handled it!
I know thats right!
I am wholeheartedly intrigued by you.
I have heard those cold cuts never stood a chance. Keep trucking, Inspector.
y0u're everything t0 me.
Fuck yeah it is.