Serpaz Helilo, CUEKEEPER
@pliableDecadence
She/Her what does the barkeep say to the omenbeast that just walked in? i dunno, let me ask her!!!! #shouldastoppedthealpocalypse Catastrophically employed (|:)
#COWORKEROFTHEPERIGEE. BY HTTPS://SARTORIALLY.TUMBLR.COM/
lookin good kurloz!!!!
Diamonds Droog.
diamonds droooooooooooooooooog (|:D
(|:OOOOO BOSS SCRATCH IS FUCKIN BALLIN!!!!!
... I'VE BEEN CHECKING THE CLOCK FOR AT LEAST TEN KARKAT HOURS, NOW. NORMALLY, I WOULDN'T COMMIT THE UNSPEAKABLE WORKPLACE BLUNDER OF LOOKING AT *ANY* TIMEPIECE IN THIS SAW TRAP MANOR, BUT SOMETHING KEEPS KNIFING ME IN THE WRONG THORASSIC PROTECTIVE BONE CURVATURE. IT'S 6/12. WHY IS IT STILL 6/12. IT CAN'T *STILL* BE 6/12. CAN IT?
idk chalky (|:I takin a stab in the dark here but ya might be stuck in some time nonsense!!! not that hard to do that here think i get stuck in timey wimey bs every other day hehe at least i think its every other day might just be every day WHO KNOWS im sure youll get your way out youre good at this stuff!!
BEHOLD. FELT MANOR’S NEWEST AND SHINIEST STAR. A TROLL SO TRUSTING. HE NEITHER SHUTS THE DOOR TO HIS RESPITEBLOCK. NOR TAKES HIS PALMHUSK FROM THE STICKBALL TABLE. WHEN HE RETIRES FOR THE LIGHT. A TROLL SO SUICIDALLY STUPID. HE POSTS HIS MANAGER’S UPSKIRT SHOTS ON THE TIMELINE. A TROLL SO BRAVE. OR SO BRAIN DAMAGED. HE GETS IN A POSTING WAR. WITH A TIME TRAVELING MEGABITCH. FEAST YOUR BULBS. ON THIS BREAKING NEWS. JUST NOW. CAPTURED LATE LAST LIGHT. BEFORE HE HAD THE OPPORTUNITY. TO BUTCHER HIS BEAUTIFUL BISHIE HAIR. PRESENTING: CHALKBOX PLAYING WITH HIS #SUGGESTIVE BONDAGE NOODLES.
(|:OOOOO
TURNING ANOTHER SWEEP OLDER DOESN'T REALLY FEEL LIKE IT MATTERS ALL THAT MUCH, ANYMORE. NOT WHEN YOU'VE ALREADY SPENT TWELVE SWEEPS IN ANCIENT EAST ALTERNIA REALIZING THAT YOU'RE MORE OR LESS TIME-LOCKED INTO THE AGE YOU WERE WHEN YOU WERE CEREBRALLY COERCED INTO SIGNING YOUR FUCKING FAUSTIAN EMPLOYMENT CONTRACT. THAT UNINTENDED LITTLE ROMP, IN ADDITION TO LANDING ME ON TIME ROACH EXTERMINATION DUTY, ALSO HAPPENED TO PAD OUT MY RESUMÉ WITH SOME USEFUL SKILLS. NOT ALL OF THEM ARE THINGS I'M ALL TOO COMFORTABLE TALKING ABOUT HERE IN PLAIN VIEW OF THE ROVING HORDES OF INTERNET PERVERTS LUSTING AFTER ANY #SUGGESTIVE OR OUTRIGHT #NSFW CONTENT THEY CAN HOOK THEIR GREASY PRONGS ON, BUT THERE'S ONE I'VE GOT A PRETTY SOLID HANDLE ON THAT FEELS ESPECIALLY RELEVANT TO BEING A MEMBER OF A CRIMINAL SYNDICATE. 「#SHIBARI.」 ALLOW ME TO EDUCATE THE CULTURE-ALLERGIC DIPSHITS IN THE ROOM ON A FACT ABOUT ROPE. ROPE IS A LIVING THING. NOT LITERALLY, DUMBASS. BUT ROPE IS ORGANIC. HAIR. WOOL. PLANT FIBER. SPUN SILK FROM COCOONS. ROPE IS MADE FROM THINGS THAT ARE *ALIVE,* AND IF YOU TREAT IT LIKE A DEAD THING, IT'LL CHAFE LIKE A MAGGOTY, ROTTEN CORPSE LEFT IN THE SUN TO DESSICATE UNTIL IT FEELS ABOUT AS DELICATE ON THE SKIN AS A CRUSTY, CALCIFIED MANDIBLE. SO HOW DO YOU KEEP IT IN LIVING CONDITION? EASY. WIND IT OUT, PULL IT TAUT, BURN THE FRAYING EDGES. SMOOTH IT DOWN WITH SOFTENING WAX AND WORK IT IN. PAMPER THAT SHIT WHILE YOU YANK IT INTO PLIABLE ORDER. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY? USE IT. IT WANTS TO BE USED. EXHIBIT A. THE DROOLING, NEEDY BITCH WHO HAD THE AUDACITY TO TALK ABOUT THIS ON MAIN. OBSERVE WHAT A REAL FUCKING MASTER CAN DO WITH A LIVING THING. NOT HER, OBVIOUSLY. SHE HAS ALL THE CHARM AND VIVACITY OF A BUZZING PILE OF FUCKING BLUBBERBEAST GUTS. IF ANYONE WANTS TO LEARN HOW TO INCORPORATE HORN TYING INTO THEIR 「KINBAKU」 PRACTICE, FEEL FREE TO USE THIS AS A FUCKING DIAGRAM. YOU KNOW, SINCE MY BOSS @handMaid DOESN'T MIND THE ATTENTION. AND WHILE WE'RE BRINGING UP "CARTOON FAIRY REVIEWSLOP," I AWAIT YOUR (SECOND) CANDID REVIEW OF THE 2015 JUKEBOX MUSICAL "STRANGE MAGIC" WITH DOWNRIGHT FUCKING GLEEFUL ANTICIPATION. I SAW THE WAY YOU LOOKED AT THE BOG KING. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE.
(|:O
Diamonds Droog.
DIAMONDS DROOG!!!!
THIRTEEN SWEEPS, PAINSTAKINGLY STACKED ATOP THE OTHER, SURVIVED ONE BRUTAL BILUNAR PERIGEE AT A TIME. HALF OF THEM ON A PLANET I WAKE UP AND GIVE THE FAT, FLAMING MIDDLE PRONGSTUB TO EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE, AND THE REST ON A DUMPSTER FIRE OF A WORLD OF MY OWN "CREATION." ONLY SOME OF THEM I WAS REALLY, TRULY PRESENT FOR. THREE *THOUSAND* SWEEPS SPENT IN AN INESCAPABLE TORMENT NEXUS MEANT TO SAND DOWN ANY PROPRIETARY CONCEPT OF TIME I EVER HAD. WHICH I ESCAPED, ANYWAY. BUT NOT BEFORE IT SMOOTHED SOME OF THE HARD, JAGGED EDGES, TRY AS I MIGHT TO SHARPEN THEM BACK TO GANDERBULB-STABBING AND SPONGECASE-BLUDGEONING LETHAL FORCE. AND AS IF I COULDN'T PUSH THE INCREDULITY OF MY SHITHIVE MAGGOTS NARRATIVE ANY FURTHER, TWELVE SWEEPS AFTER THAT, IN A FAR-FLUNG PAST SO STUPID THAT IT'S LEFT INDELIBLE MARKS ON MY VOCABULARY. AND SOME UNCOMFORTABLE SKILLS TO ADMIT ARE CURRENTLY PADDING OUT MY RESUME. A FAT, MALIGNANT PILE OF GREASY BLACK TRASH BAGS IN THE RUSTING DUMPSTER OF MY PERSONAL HISTORY, BOILING IN THE OPEN SUN AS THE LOOMING MONOLITH TO MY EVERY GRUELING SWEEP OF MERCILESS LIFE DARKENS THE FUCKING SKY. SO AT THIS POINT? FUCK IT. WHAT'S ONE MORE? #WRIGGLINGDAY. (AND BEFORE YOU ASK, YES, I'M STILL IN THE FUCKING FELT MANOR. THIS IMAGE HAS BEEN *HEAVILY* DOCTORTURED TO RESEMBLE ANYTHING CLOSE TO EARTH-C'S NATURAL DAYLIGHT. BECAUSE I CAN'T STAND TO SEE ANY MORE FUCKING GREEN. I DECIDED I WANTED TO LOOK O.G., TODAY.)
HAPPY WRIGGLING DAY KARKAT!!!!! (|:D im gonna find a way to make this the BEST WRIGGLING DAY EVER or at least the best wriggling day we can (|:)
recent talk of midbloods and alternian trolls weird caste stuff got me thinking what ACTUALLY counts as a midblood????? where does lowblood stop and midblood start??? where does midblood stop and highblood start??? what is even the point of this split in the first place??? we dont really have that kind of split on repiton so im really struggling to get it
The distinction exists to perpetuate hostility on Alternia as orchestrated by your employer.
the idea that boss scratch is why troll casteism exists is both REAL grim and also really funny??? like why is this ballman (affectionate i promise boss) saying i have most of but NOT ALL rights
WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FUCKING RUSTBLOOD FACTORY. MORE MIDBLOODS IN HERE. THAN YOU CAN SHAKE A SLUG AT. WHAT COULD HE MEAN BY THIS.
s0meone already tried a s0cial media site where each caste got 0ne hour tw0 post in 2 shifts thr0ughout the cycle. didnt w0rk out.
I DON’T CARE WHO’S POSTING WHEN. I CARE THAT ALL OF A SUDDEN. IT’S MIDBLOOD CITY IN FELT MANOR. WHAT ABOUT MY JOB SECURITY. IS HE HAVING A MIDLIFE CRISIS. DOES THAT MEAN WE ARE HALFWAY. WHAT DID HE MEAN BY THIS.
i know im...part of the issue i guess??? but on THAT end I can tell you for a fact there isnt anyone out there who can or frankly will do what you do so i think youre safe hehe not even as a reassuring thing its more like who the fuck else CAN do it like you like genuinely one of a kind freak for sure
FUCK. IT REALLY IS TWO DAYS UNTIL MY WRIGGLING DAY, ISN'T IT. I HAVEN'T HAD A FLEETING, EXASPERATED MOMENT TO EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. I'VE BEEN FUMIGATING THESE STUPID TIME ROACHES EVER SINCE I GOT PUT ON OVERTIME FOR THE MAIDJAILBREAK INCIDENT. WHICH IS GRADE-A BULLSHIT, BY THE WAY. THROW ME IN A STUPID, IMPOSSIBLE PROBLEM, YOU'RE *GOING* TO GET A STUPID, IMPOSSIBLE SOLUTION. AND THE TIME ROACHES ARE ONE OF THEM, BECAUSE THEY BREED EVERYWHERE BUT THE PRESENT AND YOU NEED TO FOG-BOMB BOTH THE PAST AND FUTURE SIMULTANEOUSLY. AND I'M STILL TRYING TO CONVINCE PAST KARKAT TO PUT ON A FUCKING RESPIRATOR. I'LL GIVE IT MORE THOUGHT LATER. FRANKLY, I'D TAKE A CUPCAKE, A CIGARETTE, AND AN EMPLOYMENT CONTRACT RENEGOTIATION. DON'T BOTHER EVEN WRITING ME A CARD.
(|:OOOOOO ITS YOUR REDUPLICATION DAY SOON?????? (thats what we call wriggling days on repiton btw hehe) WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING FOR IT!!!! hmmm you dont seem like a party kinda guy though hmmmmmmm I WILL THINK OF SOMETHING SUFFICIENTLY MORE CHILL
Diamonds Droog.
diamonds droog
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/8bb3ccc308ab.gif :o) #Workposting #Bossposting #Worship #DarkCarnivalCometh
there really aint anyone doin like you kurloz
DOES THIS MEAN YOU GUYS BREAK OUT INTO SONGS TOO? WAIT WOULD IT BE THE VILLAIN SONGS OR ONE OF THE OTHER ONES? I CAN SEE CALIBORN DOING A SCAR THING HERE 🤔
i sing to myself sometimes!! and whichever songs we FEEL LIKE
:o) So many plead to God. :o) But I have met God. :o) The Angel who brings most delectable Double Death :o) Hee hee :o) He had nothing nice to say about you.
(|:I well!!! thats not very nice of them (|:/
:o) I have to imagine He has something nice to say about you specifically, Miss Helilo :o) He is your Lord too, after all.
thats TRUE!!! hehehehahaha
I WANT ALL THE “GOOD GUYS.” THE BLUEY WATCHERS. THE LAWFUL FRIENDLIES. AND ADULT MOLTED TROLLS. WHO EXCLUSIVELY CONSUME WRIGGLERTIER ANIMATIONS. ABOUT “COOPERATION” AND “EMPATHY.” TO KNOW THAT THEY WILL NEVER BE INCLUDED. OR INVITED. OR DESIRED. AT #MOVIEMAID #MOVIETIME. WHERE I LOCK MY COWORKERS IN THE PARLOR. SHACKLE AND TIE THEM TO THE VARIOUS FURNITURES. AND FORCE THEM TO EXPERIENCE TROLL SLAUGHTERED VOMIT DOLLS. TROLL SALÒ. AN ALTSERBIAN FILM. AND SO ON. #WORKPLACEBONDINGRITUAL #TEAMBUILDING #FUN.
(Hot Shit [Flush Letters] 1:1) “My sister in mirth, blessed in hilarity, peerless in holy rage; u up girl? :o?”
kurloz ya cant be doin this not in public man
Diamonds Droog.
diamonds droog! (|:)
Diamonds Droog.
diamonds droog
Diamonds Droog.
DIAMONDS DROOG (|:D