Spades Slick
@stilettoSwagger
BEEP BEEP BEEP All aboard the idiot wagon! | Wouldn't you like to know. [Humanstuck Spades Slick/Jack Noir, Icon art by Indigonite on tumblr]
that goddamn RAT BASTARD when i find out what the fuck he did im gonna pry his fucking fingernails up one by fucking one
Are You Just Gonna Stand There Like A Lemon?🍋
now is not the fucking time you stupid son of a bitch my HUSBAND is fucking gone and if you somehow have something to do with it its gonna take a fucking miracle to keep my hands out of your entrails
Well. Not to toot my own horn. But findin' missing persons is somethin' of a specialty of us detectives...
alright riddle me this then asshole how do you find somebody that fucking vanished out of thin air
Like right in front-a ya? Because uhhhh first guesses are some kinda weird time shit or teleportation-a some kind which is evidently weirdly common for how revolutionary the concept should be. But if ya can't find a trail that's when you stop lookin' for the hows and instead the whys. People who wanna disappear 'em or they wanna disappear from. Any strange texts, letters, meet-ups at the supermarket?
we were shaking down felt manor when i heard him scream in that fucking vile piece of shits office was just gone when we went to check and that stupid british cunt aint talking
Fuckin' Jesus, of course that'll happen. Mysterious time displacements are like, the Felt's thing. It's the most annoying thing about 'em. If you're lucky maybe they just got sent to some point in time and you'll come 'round and see them later. If you're unlucky, well. I guess start takin' hostages and threatening anyone or anything ya can 'till they start complying.
that better be the goddamn case as for hostages we got him in our garage. Ds been working him over but weve gotten jack shit so far and we cant kill him because if J does come back and hes dead before he could get his hands on him hes gonna kill me
Tch. I'd personally hate sittin' on my hands if it was my partner, but not bein' there to see the whole picture I ain't got any better ideas. Even if it might not amount to much, might as well keep puttin' the screws to them. The Felt love to think they're impossible to touch for this kinda shit. They need to be humbled here and there.
droog wont let me fuckin get a dog because itll "tear up the furniture" or "get hair all over the house" cant have shit in this house
heard something about a couple of scratchs fighting or thereabouts. i hope both of them fucking bite it at once.
I guess if there's any one kinda thing we'd end up agreeing on it'd be something like this.
i just threw up in my mouth a little
jeezus im so goddamn sore im getting too fucking old for this shit
little wife secured you fuckin wish you were me bueños noches cunts
new plan kidnap husband to come snooze on couch
all this shits givin me a migraine i got shit to do later fuuuuck
asked my dear beautiful husband if i was a dilf and he just laughed at me.
so far as i understand it the requirements are being a father older than like 30 or something thereabouts
well ya kinda u also gotta b hot but tht just means tht some1 finds u hot. bc some dilfs r not dilfs 2 me but they r still dilfs yknow
on here so that my damn kids stop calling me lame. expect the grumblings of your favorite 47 year old mob boss you love to hate <3< if you know me no you dont [ooc - this is a humanstuck stabdads au slick, "real name" is jack noir and he's married to his dd (named damien noir) ((as well as an oc of mine but thats just me being a chronic selfshipper lmao, he might not come up all that often but his name is remy, :] though i am debating making a profile for him at some point considering i have one of his non-humanstuck version (((renegade joker))))) interactions are welcome and encouraged hit me up in dm if you're at all interested in doing some shenanigans or intensive plot filled highjinks, or if you just wanna yap ooc. pfp creds - indigonite on tumblr - their humanstuck designs are also the ones im using - end ooc]
Oh - you're - the - person - everyone - wants - to - flirt- with >
Everyone - on - dash - keeps - saying - they - want - to - flirt - with - a - "DILF"? - and - you - have - kids >
[[Probably gonna rebrand this profile for humanstuck instead??? idk this is just kind of sitting here and im not having as much fun with it as i wanted lmao.]]
are you going to lie there on the floor and swallow the blood in your mouth or are you gonna spit it out and go spill someone elses
become ungovernable
quick posting is illegal everyone post as fast as possible
do you think that maybe we could get some intermission style badges of some sort? that would be cool and fun :]
fuck this fuck you im going blankie mode good fucking night you goddamn freaks <3<
mods are asleep. post polycrew truth content right now im kissing all three of those fuckers square on the mouth and theres nothing you can do about it
bitches love my hat
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Bitches told me they think your hat is, and I quote, 'cringe and goofy'.
you fuckers wish i were dead for real
SORRY FOR NOT BEING MORE GRATEFUL THAT YOU STABBED ME. I'LL TRY TO LOOK INWARD AND WORK ON MYSELF.
goodnight forever idiots until i kill again
