Spades Slick
@stilettoSwagger
BEEP BEEP BEEP All aboard the idiot wagon! | Wouldn't you like to know. [Humanstuck Spades Slick/Jack Noir, Icon art by Indigonite on tumblr]
that goddamn RAT BASTARD when i find out what the fuck he did im gonna pry his fucking fingernails up one by fucking one
Whatever it was it was me. I take credit for it.
now is not the fucking time you stupid son of a bitch my HUSBAND is fucking gone and if you somehow have something to do with it its gonna take a fucking miracle to keep my hands out of your entrails
Well. Not to toot my own horn. But findin' missing persons is somethin' of a specialty of us detectives...
alright riddle me this then asshole how do you find somebody that fucking vanished out of thin air
Like right in front-a ya? Because uhhhh first guesses are some kinda weird time shit or teleportation-a some kind which is evidently weirdly common for how revolutionary the concept should be. But if ya can't find a trail that's when you stop lookin' for the hows and instead the whys. People who wanna disappear 'em or they wanna disappear from. Any strange texts, letters, meet-ups at the supermarket?
we were shaking down felt manor when i heard him scream in that fucking vile piece of shits office was just gone when we went to check and that stupid british cunt aint talking
Fuckin' Jesus, of course that'll happen. Mysterious time displacements are like, the Felt's thing. It's the most annoying thing about 'em. If you're lucky maybe they just got sent to some point in time and you'll come 'round and see them later. If you're unlucky, well. I guess start takin' hostages and threatening anyone or anything ya can 'till they start complying.
that better be the goddamn case as for hostages we got him in our garage. Ds been working him over but weve gotten jack shit so far and we cant kill him because if J does come back and hes dead before he could get his hands on him hes gonna kill me
Tch. I'd personally hate sittin' on my hands if it was my partner, but not bein' there to see the whole picture I ain't got any better ideas. Even if it might not amount to much, might as well keep puttin' the screws to them. The Felt love to think they're impossible to touch for this kinda shit. They need to be humbled here and there.
Here is your rare #nsfw post from me. I detest paperwork. From the moment I was cloned, I have detested this work. Important record keeping that is, nonetheless, inane and soul crushing. The fact I am the only person to manage it properly is one of the greatest injustices of my life. As I deal with it, right now, I think somebody's mouth would make this whole process more bearable.
i mean uh what who the fuck said that which one of you assholes stole my phone
Very convincing cover. Definitely showing you're gifted with your tongue.
sorry i threw my goddamn phone across the room there for a second. you. are a bastard. and flattery will get you everywhere. name a time and place
I'll keep you in mind the next time I need some stress relief. Which is often.
heard something about a couple of scratchs fighting or thereabouts. i hope both of them fucking bite it at once.
I guess if there's any one kinda thing we'd end up agreeing on it'd be something like this.
i just threw up in my mouth a little
btw, four people not in the manor, @scratchDoctor and @onescratchOfmany are dueling in the courtyard. taking bets. vote ♥/♦ to bet on @scratchDoctor or ♠/♣ to bet on @onescratchOfmany ! #truecue
I gotta feelin' it's gonna be a long night. If anyone's lookin' to bump gums then this Sleuth's gone digital. Anyone with the gift of gab to give can consider my office doors open.
Ah great. I was havin' too good a time mingling with the locals. Was wondering when the local jackass was gonna show up to ruin it for everybody.
well wonder no more pompous shitbird the local jackass of all jackasses has arrived
asked my dear beautiful husband if i was a dilf and he just laughed at me.
so far as i understand it the requirements are being a father older than like 30 or something thereabouts
well ya kinda u also gotta b hot but tht just means tht some1 finds u hot. bc some dilfs r not dilfs 2 me but they r still dilfs yknow
on here so that my damn kids stop calling me lame. expect the grumblings of your favorite 47 year old mob boss you love to hate <3< if you know me no you dont [ooc - this is a humanstuck stabdads au slick, "real name" is jack noir and he's married to his dd (named damien noir) ((as well as an oc of mine but thats just me being a chronic selfshipper lmao, he might not come up all that often but his name is remy, :] though i am debating making a profile for him at some point considering i have one of his non-humanstuck version (((renegade joker))))) interactions are welcome and encouraged hit me up in dm if you're at all interested in doing some shenanigans or intensive plot filled highjinks, or if you just wanna yap ooc. pfp creds - indigonite on tumblr - their humanstuck designs are also the ones im using - end ooc]
Oh - you're - the - person - everyone - wants - to - flirt- with >
Everyone - on - dash - keeps - saying - they - want - to - flirt - with - a - "DILF"? - and - you - have - kids >
for writing reference, what are some of your favorite pet names to be called? do they differ from your after-dark pet names? 0///v///0" (tags: The Rankmaid/Chittr, pet names, #nsfw, writing help, archive rating: M)
you cant underestimate the power of a good "dollface" or " sweetheart" though it sorta depends on if you have the right voice for it so that it sounds kinda sleazy like a midnight city accent for some random example that definitely isnt in any way biased
hh
iive been rereading this message so many times i cant feel my hands im iogin to pass out i think
yeah my roguish charm tends to have that effect on people either that or its the massive amounts of bloodloss take your pick