Sollux 'Fifty' Captor
@twiceArachnophobic
The rumors about me are eiither true, or wiill be. Sollux Captor, but call me Fiifty. [[Revamped bloodswap Sollux. Not compliant with his original iteration]]
Desk job was a miistake lmfao.
Genuiinely. Couldn't waterboard half thiis shiit out of me.
Who needs miind readiing when people just post theiir weiirdest thoughts onliine.
Some jackass iin the buiildiing has the most annoyiing song stuck iin theiir head. II'm outta here.
Feel liike II'm gonna get thiis shiit a lot so miight as well make a piinned post wiith some of the basiics: • Yeah, blue Sollux. • Not actually arachnophobiic. • No lasers, no miind control. • Obliigate piitchbaiit. ✌️✌️ • My last name iisn't Serket. • Yes II stiill liike 2s. • No II'm not telliing you how deep that runs. Fiind out the rest yourselves, cowards.
8=l < Your list tells me you've been compared to the yellow Captors a lot
Poked my nose iinto tumblr for a half miinute before. 🙄🙄 Not exactly my fiirst rodeo.
Maybe II SHOULD just leave. Not liike that old biitch iis goiing to fiire me.
Fell asleep iin my damn chaiir.
Stiill at the offiice for another couple hours. So II mean, II could curl up under the desk, but II feel liike my boss miight judge, yanno?
Now II'm goiing to have to crediit you iin my maniifesto.
Anyway, work toniight iis so iincrediibly dull. The pros to automatiing half your work iis not haviing to do iit. The cons are not haviing anythiing to do.
Thiis far no further. Pack iit back up.
IIt's pretty damn refreshiing to fiind a websiite NOT flooded wiith about a miilliion yellow versiion of me for once.
One iis fiine. Miight even fuck around and allow two. Last websiite II glanced at had about twenty-fuckiing-two. Whiich liike- Thematiic, riight? But annoyiing.
THAT ONE IS JUST TRUE, STOP LABELING ME THE FUCKING SEVEN SINS. I DON'T NEED MORE OF THIS LOAD GAPER. UNLESS YOUR NEW FUCKING THING IS LABELING ME ALL OF THEM AT SOME FUCKING POINT GO SHOVE YOUR HEAD INTO A LOAD GAPER FULL OF PISS.
YOU KNOW WHAT, GO DIG A SEVEN FT HOLE. LAY IN IT AND WE CAN PLAY A FUN GAME CALLED. LETS PUT A BULLET INTO YOUR FUCKING SKULL. IT WILL BE SO FUN!
Anyway. Diiviisiive opiiniions about french friies asiide, what's the viibe toniight Chiittr??
Anyway. ✌️✌️ Glad to know thiis siite iis about what II expected.
Somethiing somethiing thiis iis the greed the biible warned us about. Probably. II diidn't read the thiing lmfao.
FUCK OFF, I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ARE VAGUING ME YOU JUST FUCKING GOT HERE!
Damn. II could've been postiing about liiterally anythiing and you just deciided iit had to be you, huh? Maybe II should add priide to the liist. Smfh.
If I can jump in and meddle a 8it here, that's such a weak come8ack I literally cringed reading it.
LITERALLY CALLED ME FUCKING GREEDY THREE WHOLE MINUTES AGO, WHO THE FUCK ELSE WOULD YOU BE TALKING ABOUT? I MEAN SURE YOU COULD BE TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF BUT CONSIDERING YOU LITERALLY ARE JUST PUTTING MORE SINS ONTO ME FOR NO FUCKING REASON OTHER THAN TO PISS ME OFF, MAKES ME BELIEVE YOU PUT THAT BAIT OUT JUST TO SEE IF I WOULD BITE. IT FUCKING WORKED NOW, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT? TO WATCH ME SUFFER MORE OR TO JUST ADD MORE FUCKING SINS TO THE LIST OF MY EVER GROWING FUCKED UP EXISTANCE. THE ONLY REASON I EVEN BOTHERED HITTING SEND IS DUE TO THE FACT YOU HAD SOLLUX IN YOUR NAME BEFORE CHANGING IT, ANYWAY. GO SUCK A PAIR OF FAT FUCKING GLOBES AND SHOVE THAT PRIDE STRAIGHT DOWN A HOOFBEASTS FILTHY SPHINCTER.
Aw shucks, not even here thiirty miinutes and II've already got myself a certiifiied Karkat rant. II thiink that's a new record or somethiing. Do people here liike not know what a goof iis or somethiing?? Or does some rando on the iinternet crackiing a joke on hiis own post just especiially rub folks the wrong way?? Maybe II should put that back then. IIf iit's gonna make people so damn sentiimental. 😂😂
Fiinally, some good fuckiing food.
