Sollux 'Fifty' Captor
@twiceArachnophobic
The rumors about me are eiither true, or wiill be. Sollux Captor, but call me Fiifty. [[Revamped bloodswap Sollux. Not compliant with his original iteration]]
every day is a humiliati0n ritual
Feel liike II'm gonna get thiis shiit a lot so miight as well make a piinned post wiith some of the basiics: • Yeah, blue Sollux. • Not actually arachnophobiic. • No lasers, no miind control. • Obliigate piitchbaiit. ✌️✌️ • My last name iisn't Serket. • Yes II stiill liike 2s. • No II'm not telliing you how deep that runs. Fiind out the rest yourselves, cowards.
8=l < Your list tells me you've been compared to the yellow Captors a lot
Poked my nose iinto tumblr for a half miinute before. 🙄🙄 Not exactly my fiirst rodeo.
BLU3 SOLLUX... 1NT3R3ST1NG.
DON'T GIVE HIM ANYMORE POWER, HE'S HAD ENOUGH TOLIGHT.
GOD FORB1D SOM3ON3 B3 CUR1OUS, D4MN.
BLU3 SOLLUX SOUNDS SC4RY BUT 4LSO 4 B1T W41T 1 R34LLY SHOULDNT S4Y
Well now you have to.
Miind control? Please. What kiind of chump do you take me for. Miind READIING though? Maybe.
Genuiinely can't tell iif thiis iis a 'reliief' moment or a 'diisappoiintment' moment. Not sure II want to know eiither.
print("hmm how do i engagement bait without like") print("taking off all my clothes or something")
Fell asleep iin my damn chaiir.
8=l < Maybe laying down is in order
Stiill at the offiice for another couple hours. So II mean, II could curl up under the desk, but II feel liike my boss miight judge, yanno?
8=l < Be your own boss and then the only one to judge will be yourself
Now II'm goiing to have to crediit you iin my maniifesto.
Did it hurt wh3n th3 v3nding machin3 f3ll on you? 2hit, I m3an Did it hurt wh3n you f3ll from th3 v3nding machin3? Cau23 you a 2nack
No no you should run wiith the fiirst one. See where iit goes.
at lea2t blue 2ollux ii2 cool ii’d love two 2ee blue blood iin2tead of whiite.
Saviing thiis testiimoniial, thanks. ✌️✌️ And good luck wiith the blood thiing. Miight wanna get that checked.
IIt's pretty damn refreshiing to fiind a websiite NOT flooded wiith about a miilliion yellow versiion of me for once.
let me per2onally arriive two dii2appoiint you.
One iis fiine. Miight even fuck around and allow two. Last websiite II glanced at had about twenty-fuckiing-two. Whiich liike- Thematiic, riight? But annoyiing.
FUCK AROUND, FIND OUT CAPTOR.
THAT ONE IS JUST TRUE, STOP LABELING ME THE FUCKING SEVEN SINS. I DON'T NEED MORE OF THIS LOAD GAPER. UNLESS YOUR NEW FUCKING THING IS LABELING ME ALL OF THEM AT SOME FUCKING POINT GO SHOVE YOUR HEAD INTO A LOAD GAPER FULL OF PISS.
Somethiing somethiing thiis iis the greed the biible warned us about. Probably. II diidn't read the thiing lmfao.
FUCK OFF, I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ARE VAGUING ME YOU JUST FUCKING GOT HERE!
Damn. II could've been postiing about liiterally anythiing and you just deciided iit had to be you, huh? Maybe II should add priide to the liist. Smfh.
If I can jump in and meddle a 8it here, that's such a weak come8ack I literally cringed reading it.
LITERALLY CALLED ME FUCKING GREEDY THREE WHOLE MINUTES AGO, WHO THE FUCK ELSE WOULD YOU BE TALKING ABOUT? I MEAN SURE YOU COULD BE TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF BUT CONSIDERING YOU LITERALLY ARE JUST PUTTING MORE SINS ONTO ME FOR NO FUCKING REASON OTHER THAN TO PISS ME OFF, MAKES ME BELIEVE YOU PUT THAT BAIT OUT JUST TO SEE IF I WOULD BITE. IT FUCKING WORKED NOW, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT? TO WATCH ME SUFFER MORE OR TO JUST ADD MORE FUCKING SINS TO THE LIST OF MY EVER GROWING FUCKED UP EXISTANCE. THE ONLY REASON I EVEN BOTHERED HITTING SEND IS DUE TO THE FACT YOU HAD SOLLUX IN YOUR NAME BEFORE CHANGING IT, ANYWAY. GO SUCK A PAIR OF FAT FUCKING GLOBES AND SHOVE THAT PRIDE STRAIGHT DOWN A HOOFBEASTS FILTHY SPHINCTER.
Aw shucks, not even here thiirty miinutes and II've already got myself a certiifiied Karkat rant. II thiink that's a new record or somethiing. Do people here liike not know what a goof iis or somethiing?? Or does some rando on the iinternet crackiing a joke on hiis own post just especiially rub folks the wrong way?? Maybe II should put that back then. IIf iit's gonna make people so damn sentiimental. 😂😂
Fiinally, some good fuckiing food.
Burger
ADD SOME FRIES!