The Haruspex
@absolvedAnnihilation
ctrl+f: "deduct.docx," "assess.docx," "protect.docx." ctrl+f: "leave_this_world_gentler_than_you_found_it.docx."
Still nursing my burns from the other day, I think they feel worse than the initial moment now which is far from my favorite thing. #cw-burns
rub healing gel on like in videogame deadass though theres like this gel stuff thats perfect for burn's, used it a few time's to treat cigarette burns
Right, these are a bit more severe than that but I'll do something like it I suppose.
i mean it work's fine for bigger stuff too if you dont mind your body feeling numb for like an hour. one time some crackhead's tried to roast me alive and that stuff helped a lot
I'll give it a shot then.
ctrl+f:"do_not_put_spikeplant_soothing_gel_on_second_or_third_degree_burns.docx"
a mOtHeRfUcKeR WoNdErS SoMeTiMeS WhAt's tHe pOiNt oF WaStInG LiKe pItY On hIm. GuShErS StIlL ToO FuCkInG SoFt )O: dOn't wAnT It gEtTiNg hArD EiThEr. No rEaL FuCkIn mIdDlE GrOuNd tO Be hAd.
ctrl+f:"find_a_place_inside_where_witnessing_and_responding_to_others_is_limitless.docx","much_of_it_is_necessarily_visualization_and_focus.docx","but_it_is_possible_to_steel_oneself_without_growing_cold.docx"
mMm mAyBe? It's kInDa lIkE I LiKe fEeLiNg tHiNgS, dIdN'T Do iT FoR A LoNg fUcKiNg tImE. gUeSs lIkE I WaNnA Be uNdErStOoD? lIkE FuCkInG GeT ThE PoInT ThRoUgH SoMe dUmB MoThErFuCkErS NuG In oNe gO.
ctrl+f:"misunderstood_the_subject_and_object_of_your_dilemma.docx","clarification_was_helpful.docx","understanding_unfortunately_only_comes_reliably_with_time_as_anything_that_can_be_done_in_one_go_is_rarely_sustainable.docx","but.docx","moments_of_being_understood_are_still_possible.docx","what_do_you_wish_they_understood_about_you.csdf"
Ι sometimes i feel like i'm not rea-a-al if i'm not being directly observed is tha-a-at norma-a-al Ι
ctrl+f:"normal_is_an_arbitrary_goalpost.docx","_but_it_can_be_natural.docx"
Ι oka-a-ay well is it na-a-atura-a-al then Ι
Ι kind of i guess Ι
ctrl+f:"then_its_natural_in_the_same_way_a_fever_is_natural_with_a_cold.docx","symptom_not_a_cause.docx","stress.docx","pressure.docx","pain.docx","habit.docx","these_things_can_be_causes_of_what_youre_describing.docx"
>>| .i really need to start making notes somewhere .about people. because .it feels like .i'm losing memories .about people .around me. which .is bad.
ctrl+f:"files_for_all_interactions_can_be_helpful.docx"
...I WISH⦠I WISH I KNEW PEOPLE COULD BE GOOD EARLIER.
ctrl+f:"that_good_is_inclusive_to_everyone.docx","you_are_also_in_that_category.docx"
DONβT REALLY BELIEVE THAT BUT WHATEVER YOU SAY.
ctrl+f:"note--that_category_is_not_'is_all_good.docx"',"it_is_'could_be_good.docx"',"is_there_anything_stopping_you.csdf"
A LONG LIFE OF BEING ME.
Do You Ever Mourn The Person You Used To Be?
ctrl+f:"how_would_you_like_to_grieve_her_if_you_could.csdf"
Most nights I have the energy to vigorously debate any troll and their views, even if they do not choose to meet me in good faith. Some nights, however, I feel as though I am being demonized for saying we should hold hands and be kind to each other.
ctrl+f:"demonization_is_a_necessary_first_step_to_break_up_stagnant_cruelty.docx","but_pacing_yourself_to_persist_is_never_a_failure.docx"
WΒ£ donβt havΒ£ anything to talk about anymorΒ£. Β£vΒ£ry combination of words has b££n playΒ£d out. ThΒ£ atoms donβt form us anymorΒ£.
ctrl+f:"something_new_will_take_shape_with_time.docx"
sometimes i think about laying down on my loungeplank and SLEEPING. but i remember i DID THAT ALREADY 6 days ago. I NEED TO KEEP RESEARCHING
>>>(Sleep) is the microdosing of deaths to desensitize (Us) to the true reality >>>(Memento) mori!.. >>>(A) chant (They) spew to strip all but one idea... >>>((We)) were meant for nothing more...
ctrl+f:"there_is_some_additional_utility_to_it_than_that.docx"
DRONES ARE ACTUALLY BIOENGINEERED CYBORGS. they use the corpses of mother grubs to construct a mechanical upright beast
ctrl+f:"close.docx","could_also_be_a_disparity_due_to_universal_divergences.docx","but_the_concept_is_still_there.docx"
ππππ ππππππ’ πππππππ ππ:a friend, I suppose This is forgotten but not lost. Parts have had our communication lines snipped free from the whole but we still exist, parallel, tangential, in this body's space. Some things are forgotten by one but held safe by another. We don't know how deep the cracks are that make us forget, but the body does. The body knows. The first one knows. The first one sees that we want to help you. What we mean is that you can rest here as long as you'd like: The child stands staring bug eyed while their neighbor, a teal by the name of Lucius ten sweeps their older, works on the internals of a scuttlebuggy's engine. The child is safe. They don't say anything, and Lucius fills the silence with easy explanation and conversation, this humming murmur that says that the child is seen, someone protected by trolls older and stronger than them, someone not expected to respond or perform conversation to still be wanted. They watch Lucius fixing gears and valves, and warm light fills the garage to the brim. The child hasn't spoken since their first lusus was--no matter. That memory stays in another vessel. This moment is about what happens afterwards. That in the cruelty and darkness of a small thing that could have been forgotten, was silent enough in hopes of being forgotten, there were adults (or close enough to adults) who knew the most important thing in the world was remembering the weakest. Lucius asks the child if they are alright, his smile unworried but caring. The child blinks and doesn't smile. It feels like a firm hug when Lucius accepts this answer and tells the child to pull his sleeve if they need him to stop and take them back hive. The child wants him to get back to talking about ignition and spark chambers. There is nowhere else they have to be. All is well. This feeling is kept safely stored away when the rest of us need it, even if we never remember being the child. It lingers like smoke. It's accepted and tuned out as easily as ground is forgotten underfoot. But it's still there. It's still bedrock. It's still the beginning of everything else important. We hope you can take a rest here with us too. How quaint... truly beautiful. πΌπππππ’ πππ
Break me.
what would that do to you would you no longer be in there or would all of you and the box die or something
I do not know Not do I truly care
ππππ ππππππ’ πππππππ ππ:@discardedPasts Your first date together in person, and you were a fucking mess. Absolutely plastered drunkenly working up the courage for your date. Your brother of course ridicules you throwing away of comfort and solidarity more than anything. Your date finally shows and she is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen, throw out a thousand lifetimes a thousand different memories a thousand different worlds doesn't matter You want her to be yours forever. The night was a mess You confessed things you meant to keep secret, she of course listened comforting and even offered you so so much to do She offered to teach you She offered to love you She offered everything and more. Don't you miss her where is she what is she doing Has she forgotten about you Has she? πΌπππππ’ πππ
ctrl+f:"im_still_here.docx","the_time_was_worthwhile.docx","you_know_better_than_anyone_nothing_is_ever_completely_forgotten.docx"
I want to see her again
Hold her and never let go
ctrl+f:"you_will.docx","even_if_its_the_parts_of_her_that_are_given_over_to_rest_in_the_past.docx","those_parts_of_her_are_held_by_you.docx","the_rest_will_come_to_you.docx","eventually.docx","and_maybe_its_possible_to_venture_beyond_that_too.csdf","but_nothing_more_has_been_lost_if_you_cant.docx"
Thank you.