The Treeaboo
@arribaTorrente
1 AM n1TRAM-DONO, lEADER OF THE lOST tREEABOOS, p1RATE FROM THE R1CH, STREAM FOR THE POOR, sUPPORT lOST tREEABOO tRANSLAT1ONS W1TH YOUR DONAT1ONS, h*CK C*NSORSH1P, aPOLOG1ES FOR MY GRAMMAR, 1 AM CBSL,
wHEN ONE ATTEMPTS TO D1V1DE AND CONQUER (cut a bullet 1n half, w1th my unbreakable katana), ONE MUST TAKE CARE TO NOT BE FLANKED, BY THE D1V1DED FORCES (struck by two speed1ng bullet halves) - n1TRAM-DONO
GETTING HIT TWICE BY ONE BULLET. PRETTY IMPRESSIVE. IF YOU'RE TRYING TO SUCK SHIT. #LOSER.
1 BEL1EVE, M1LADY, 1T 1S BETTER THAN ONE ARROW CAUS1NG THE DEATH OF TWO BOD1ES, - n1TRAM-DONO
「kekeke... megane-san comes bearing wyunderful nyews! naked tosan just gave birth to 3 kyutieful nubbins! ✧｡٩(ˊᗜˋ )و✧*｡ megane-san is yet again an aniki who will pass on his knowledge of the kawaii and dtuberlous for mirai gens. omedetou ٩(˶´༥`˶)و ! 」 [TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: aniki means an onii-san or older hatchmate as gaijin say in western alternia. mirai gens are the future generations of kyutie nubbins that will carry on megane-san's flame and omedetou means CONGRATULATIONS NAKED TOSAN ON 3 HEALTHY AND HAPPY NUBBINS!!!!!!!!!!!! they all have tails to match megane-san's. wag wag. ]
cONGRATULAT1ONS, mEGANE-SAN, CHER1SH AND RA1SE THEM WELL, - n1TRAM-DONO
tHE C1CADAS CRY OUT 1N RAPTURE AND SW1FTLY MOVE 1N TO FEAST UPON THE BODY OF THE 1NTERLOPER... tHE FLAMES L1CK AT THE1R CARAPACES, BUT DOES NOT BOTHER... tHE lOST wOODS ARE NO STRANGER TO F1RE... a PORT1ON W1LL BURN TO ASH, NEW GROWTH W1LL SUCCEED 1T, AND THE WOODS W1LL CARRY ON, - n1TRAM-DONO
BAKA. THEY’RE PRINTING NEW MES. ON THE GREEN MOON. FASTER THAN YOUR UGLY MONSTER TREES GROW. WHAT WILL YOU DO NEXT TIME. AND THE TIME AFTER THAT. WHAT WILL YOU DO WHEN I POISON THE LAND. AND ALL YOUR STUPID HALLUCINOGENIC MOSSES. AND PREHENSILE VINES. AND CARNIVOROUS PLANTS. WITHER AND DIE.
...aRE YOU COLORBL1ND, M1LADY? - n1TRAM-DONO
IF YOU ONLY KNEW. HOW GREEN THINGS REALLY ARE. 0u0
...yOUR CABARET 1S THEMED AFTER A FAKE MOON? - n1TRAM-DONO
YOU HAVE NO IDEA. #HAAHAA. #HEEHEE. #HOOHOO.
oKAY, - n1TRAM-DONO
lET TH1S BE A LESSON TO ANY, WHO WOULD THREATEN THE lOST wOODS. tHE wOODS PROTECT, AND ALWAYS W1LL, BUT TH1S DOES NOT MEAN, 1TS 1NHAB1TANTS DO NOT PROTECT 1T, 1N TURN. fAREWELL m1LADY, @HANDmA1D, 1 T1P MY FEDORA TO YOU. 1 AM SURE WE W1LL MEET AGA1N, UNFORTUNATELY, - n1TRAM-DONO
:33< oh i s33 *ac nods in understanding at at* :33< this is e-larp :33< good fur mew
nO, 1T 1S NOT, TH1S SPECTRE SHR1EKS FOR THE BLOOD OF THE 1NNOCENT AND THE SCREAMS OF THE WOODLAND BEASTS... 1T 1S UNFORTUNATE THAT THE NECESSARY RESPONSE 1S THAT WH1CH FURTHER ENCOURAGES HER, - n1TRAM-DONO
:33< wellll this is play fur her, mew are engaging :33< if mew dont want to, then mew have to send someone off to the fight and disconnect, she targets mewwww beclaws mew respond :33< butttttt since mewve done it many times and have gotten the same results, hmmmm
this is like foreplay for her
FACT CHECK. THE MUTANT FAIRY BLOOD I WANT TO BATHE IN. IS NOT INNOCENT AT ALL. NOR ARE MY INTENTIONS. #HHHH. #WHENIGETMYNEEDLESBACK. #YOUARESOFUCKED. #SUGGESTIVE. #IWILLSHOWYOUAHATE. #NONEOTHERONYOURPLANETCANHANDLE.
yOUR ADV1CE 1S APPREC1ATED M1LADY, BUT THERE 1S L1TTLE OTHER CHO1CE. wHAT YOU SUGGEST 1S FOR W1GGLERHOOD BULLY1NG, NOT FOR A DEMON WH1CH DEL1GHTS 1N SLAUGHTER. tRUST 1N ME WHEN 1 SAY, 1 HAVE TR1ED MANY ANOTHER TACT, - n1TRAM-DONO
1T WOULD BE MUCH APPREC1ATED, M1LADY, 1F OTHERS WOULD STOP REM1ND1NG ME OF TH1S UNFORTUNATE FACT, - n1TRAM-DONO
1 W1LL BE BUSY. rUN ALONG AND PLAY W1TH YOUR L1TTLE FR1ENDS, 1 W1LL LET YOU KNOW WHEN 1 HAVE THE T1ME TO DEAL W1TH YOU, M1LADY, - n1TRAM-DONO
first milady??????? holy shit lmaoooooo second sorry man im not the one who shoved their big long sword into her ya gotta live with the consequences now i dont make da rulez
tH1S 1S NOT THE F1RST T1ME SHE HAS MET HER END AT MY PRONGS, WEAR1LY 1 KNOW 1T W1LL NOT BE THE LAST. 1 AM WELL AWARE OF HER 1NCL1NAT1ONS, BUT MUST DEFEND THE lOST wOODS ALL THE SAME, - n1TRAM-DONO
TREEABOO-DONO. I'VE HAD A HELL OF A MILLENNIUM. SINCE WE LAST DANCED. CAN YOU NOT ONESHOT ME THIS TIME. I KNOW YOU KNOW WHAT FOREPLAY IS. I'VE READ YOUR SCANLATIONS. EVEN THE DIRTIEST ONES. YOU ARE TOO ASHAMED TO PUT YOUR STICKER ON. I CAN FEEL THE GHOST OF YOUR TOUCH. IN EVERY COMMA. #LOSTBOYS #YAOI #SUGGESTIVE.
ANYWAY. I KNOW A FREAK LIKE YOU. NEEDS TO FEEL LIKE THE GOOD GUY. IN ORDER TO GET OFF. SO I'VE DONE SOME VILLAINY. JUST FOR YOU. SO YOU CAN FEEL SO HEROIC. ABOUT EXACTING BLOODY VENGEANCE. YOU'RE WELCOME. 0u0
m1LADY, 1 F1ND MYSELF GROW1NG S1CK OF YOU. tHE wOODS W1LL SURV1VE, AS THEY ALWAYS HAVE. yOU W1LL PER1SH, AS YOU ALWAYS DO. yOU ARE A W1GGLER, THROW1NG A TANTRUM FOR ATTENT1ON, AND YOU W1LL NOT BE REWARDED W1TH SAT1SFACT1ON. rEMA1N WHERE YOU ARE, NOT THAT THE wOODS W1LL G1VE YOU A CHO1CE, - n1TRAM-DONO
FUNNY WAY TO PRONOUNCE. 「THANK YOU DAMARA. FOR THE YAOIFUL NEW PROFILE PICTURE. LET ME PROSTRATE MYSELF BEFORE YOU. AND PRESENT MY SOPPING WET NOOK. IN A DISPLAY OF SUBMISSIVE GRATITUDE.」 I CAN HARDLY UNDERSTAND YOU. MAYBE IT'S YOUR ACCENT.
bE M1NDFUL OF SMOKE 1NHALAT1ON, - n1TRAM-DONO
DON'T WORRY. I HAVE PRACTICE.
gOOD. tHE H*LLUC1NOGEN1C PROPERT1ES OF THE MOSS 1N THAT PORT1ON OF THE wOODS, 1S VERY POTENT, YOU W1LL NEED THE EXPER1ENCE, - n1TRAM-DONO,
THEY HATE TO SEE A BEAUTIFUL RUSTBLOOD COMMITTING SO-CALLED 「PUBLIC INDECENCY」IN THE TREEABOO FOREST.
tHE WOODS PROTECT, - n1TRAM-DONO
TCH. I TRIED THAT MORE THAN ONCE. IT ALWAYS SEEMS TO END BADLY.
tHE WOODS PROTECT 1TS OWN, THEY DO NOT PROTECT YOU, - n1TRAM-DONO
DO YOU FEEL SO SAFE AND PROTECTED. FROM BARE RUSTBLOOD AAAS. DO YOU FEEL BETTER. NOW THAT YOU HAVE BANISHED ALL JOSHIS. FROM YOUR PRECIOUS YAOI FESTIVAL.
1 BEL1EVE 1 COULD HAVE HANDLED DEAL1NG W1TH YOU, ON MY OWN, BUT YOUR REMOVAL FROM OUR H1VE 1S A POS1T1VE, - n1TRAM-DONO
｢megane-san is a danshi! (〃´▽`) keke... megane-san uses BOKU pronouns too! (*つ´･∀･)つ keke... (￣▽￣) and megane-san only wuvs joshis.｣ [TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: danshi means boi! (＾∀＾) keke... boku is the east alternian way to say he/him! (*￣∇￣)ノ hai! onegai (pwease) don't let megane-san's luscious ponytail fool you... (*ﾟー^) kyu! (*･∀･) joshi means gyirl.]
♦️█ ░ i use..."私"...0r..."watashi"...heheh... ପ(∗´ര ᎑ ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓❤️
｢(´∀｀) ahhh~ obake-chan, megane-san would expect nothing less!｣ [TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: watashi means she/her.]
tH1S DEPENDS ON CONTEXT, 1N TH1S SORT OF CASUAL SETT1NG THAT 1S NOT AN UNNATURAL ASSUMPT1ON, THOUGH 1T 1S NOT UNHEARD OF FOR MEN TO USE 1T CASUALLY,,, 1N A MORE POL1TE SETT1NG, 1T 1S CONS1DERED NEUTRAL, 1 MYSELF OFTEN DEFAULT TO WATASH1, POL1TENESS CAN GO A LONG WAY, - n1TRAM-DONO
｢(-_-; ) megane-san knyows what he's talking about. (￣Д￣ ) nyeh, yeah. megane-san watches lots of animes, he knows pronouns. (；＞＜) silly-dono!｣
tHAT 1S A F1NE PLACE TO START LEARN1NG, YOUNG mEGANE, HAVE YOU CONS1DERED TAK1NG CLASSES, OR 1MMERS1NG YOURSELF AMONG OTHER SPEAKERS? - n1TRAM-DONO
｢(｡・´_｀・｡) megane-san is fluent.｣
tHERE ARE MANY LEVELS OF FLUENCY, MY FR1END, THE JOURNEY OF LEARN1NG NEVER ENDS, 1 AM ST1LL NOT ENT1RELY COMFORTABLE 1N cOMMON bEFORAN, AND AM LEARN1NG EVERY N1GHT, HOW TO SOUND MORE NATURAL TO NAT1VE SPEAKERS, - n1TRAM-DONO