Nuke Troyer
@cataclysmicVarlet
Aspiring EDUTAINER with plany of personality, yea I said it. whasittooya.
DID YOU KNOW — call the sexy coastgaurd because ever since i printed out my high score cert for the oregon trail ive been drowning in muff #nsfw— SO THINK ABOUT THAT AND KEEP ON LEARNIN'!
DID YOU KNOW — nukes's list of sexiest sports for dudes: 1) baseball 2) billiards 3) rugby 4) boxing 5) basketball 6) volleyball 7) swimming 8) men's cabaret 9) boxing again 10) competitive planking #nuketroyer #nsfw ? #nsfwtroyer #nukebomb— SO THINK ABOUT THAT AND KEEP ON LEARNIN'!
Billiards, you say?
Arf Arf Arf!!! /\ /\ ㅅ
#TheProblemWithEnjoyingLying #IsThatIDontWantPeopleToThinkMyFactsAreFake #WhenIGiveYouAFactAboutPhones #ThatIsAlwaysReal #IJustLikeToLieAboutMyselfForFun #BecauseThereIsSomethingClinicallyWrongWithMe
#ididnotthinkyouwerelying
#whotfru
Oh that's your quirk. It sucks.
Are YOU excited for #TotalDramaIslandInterdimensional?
DID YOU KNOW — [a young man with a stupid haircut stands in a grocery store aisle. it just so happens that today is his big audition for total drama island. though it was 10 years ago he was given a name it is only today that he will be given his big break.] i'm nuke troyer and this is my audition for @starpower and @gutsygumshoe on total! drama! islaaaaand! okay tedi release the newts. [a tsunami milk floods the aisle, at least you certainly hope it's milk, carrying brightly colored newts with floaties in with it. nuke still stands there, proud and steadfast having braved the wave of dairy.] five, six, seven, eight! [the sprawled out amphibians leap up at his call, getting into uniformed lines as a funky beat plays on an off screen boombox. it has to be off screen because the music sounds too shitty and tinny to have been edited in. nuke's legs twist to and fro with a couple of stompy dance moves, newts synchronized with him (kind of). the squeak of wet sneakers and splashy piddles of webbed feet fight toe for toe with the song. a few grocery store patrons try to enter the aisle but quickly turn away the second their eyes catch the atrocity lain before them.. all it takes is one newt slipping up on their choreo to cause chaos. like squishy little dominoes one slips on the wet floor and splats down belly first, not a thought behind its eyes as it slides slowly into the next one, toppling the coordinated line one by one until it reaches nuke. his ankle is clipped mid hop and nuke falls to the ground face first, camera following his descent. quickly, he twists around to lie on his side breakdancer style and flash a wink at the camera. his nose is bleeding and turning the inch of milk below him a gross pink.] if you want thomeone with a gogetter attitude and rethiliant mind, choothe me! nuke out!— SO THINK ABOUT THAT AND KEEP ON LEARNIN'!
NO GUARANTEES, BUT IF YOU DO GET ACCEPTED, I EXPECT THE NEWTS TO COME WITH!
DID YOU KNOW — pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaase please please please please i will wiggle my vb vb vb vb vb vb— SO THINK ABOUT THAT AND KEEP ON LEARNIN'!
DID YOU KNOW — nuke spent 30 minutes trying to get water #nulewaiter— SO THINK ABOUT THAT AND KEEP ON LEARNIN'!
>>>(Vulnerable) and possessable
#G3N1USM0D3 T1P 1F Y0U 4R3 C0MPL3T3LY FR13D 4ND SUFF3R1NG FR0M W1CK3D B4D F1BR0US PL4NT M0UTH 4FT3R TH3 HUM4N H0L1D4Y D0 N0T FR3T Y0U C4N JUST DR1NK TH3 W4T3R 0UT 0F Y0UR B0NG TRUST M3 #SUBST4NC3S
Comment below and tell me what you did to celebrate 4/20. #substances. And perhaps #nsfw depending on your answers.
Unreal Heiress, play XS by Rina Sawayama.
DID YOU KNOW — nuke won big at the slots $0.06 baby drinks are on me #nukewins #nukeitall #nuketroyer— SO THINK ABOUT THAT AND KEEP ON LEARNIN'!
"your troll item has been successfully sold on the troll steam marketplace for $0.04" https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/838/708/ae9.gif
DID YOU KNOW — message to the public please do not use the tag #nuketroyer that is for my own personal branding and marketing integrity thank you for understanding #nuketroyer #copyright #nukeslawyer #grateful— SO THINK ABOUT THAT AND KEEP ON LEARNIN'!
you shouldnot be at.the "club" you should be. supporting your three young daughthers! with money.