Troll Tom Lehrer
@columbidaeToxicologist
44.7 Sweeps | 6' NSFW To those attempting to woo me: While I find it flattering, we are simply too many sweeps apart from another. (OOC Other Muses: @twinAmnesias, @unacceptableCitrus, @okayTroogle)
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 Aye dew kneed too axe, wood eye bee perturbing yinz? 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 First of all, the troll this is directed at, you know who you are. Second of all, if you must know what I really and most actually think: I think you're some kind of deviated prevert. I think the general found out about your preversions, and that you were organizing some kind of mutiny of preverts. 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 Rare photograph of an all knowing all seeing deity in their natural habitat performing their daily mating ritual. 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
Woah there partner. Trying to cast a spell or something?
I guess fair but did really sound like the one ring from. J.r.tolken’s lord of the rings line.
Then ignore me and go think. Respond whenever idc. I was just saying what I thought was funny.
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 I am very glad actually. You see it is rather hard to "keep the bit up" when Tolken is involved! 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
Yeah that’s fair. What your version of him steal from you or something?
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 Plagiarism of course is in the eyes of the beholder. That said, imagine a world where the evil only use IMPACT 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 It certainly has been a minute, but if anyone wishes to join me once more on a fine spring and/or summer day in Central Park to partake in only one of my many pastimes, find me, I'm the one with the brown paper bag full of cyanide coated peanuts. 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
THANK FUCK I'VE RETURNED TO AT LEAST *ONE* CONSISTENT STAPLE OF THIS TIMELINE. IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN, MR. LEHRER.
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 You are welcome. Last week was rained out, however I suppose I neglected to mention it! 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 Toxic traits, silly traits, silly toxic traits? I shall have to work this out in real time in a thought stream and a series of hypothetical situations to figure this one out. Well I do in fact carry poison, which is rather actually toxic, on my person at all times since you never do know when the urge will strike, and I do often sing songs about murdering pigeons, but is that truly silly? Oh wait I know a good one, people who manage to anger me often find their thinkpans at the mercy of a plummeting grand piano or three! I suppose if you can consider fatality by piano, and the piano being a poison or 'toxic' since it imparted damage which resulted in the death of a being, then yes, me dropping grand pianos on people could be my 'silly toxic' trait. 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 Originator of being Deverified speaking here. I was the first, and it was said to me that one had to do rather amazingly heinous acts to 'earn' it. I feel as though things must have taken a sharp and harsh turn for the worse on this platform as it seems my rather exclusive and dubious at best club has been invaded by many trolls I do not even know, trolls who as far as I can tell do not deserve to have been forcefully Deverified, and even some trolls who have requested it who I perhaps think are not mature enough to understand it's very core meaning or the weight that it used to carry. The badge, much like the Verified one has become is now meaningless. I can say without a doubt it just does not feel the same as it did in the early days of chittr, it seems like just any fool can get and display so many badges that they all lose their very meaning and become nothing more background noise, so I shall be dropping all my badges for now in protest. As a human reporter from Earth once stated, "Good night and good luck." I shall be hosting a symbolic funeral for the Deverified badge, those who wish to also mourn are asked to send their thoughts, any financial assistance, or sacrifices to the Deverified badge's immediate family. 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 It has come to my attention that many of you have not received proper training in a very specific manner, so in an effort to help correct this please think of this not as public instruction but perhaps more as a Public Service Announcement. 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 Welcome to: Uncle Tom Lehrer's Sporadic, Irregular, And Otherwise Intermittent Fun Facts! (UTLSIAOIFF for short!) Five! Tom Lehrer's Sporadic, Irregular, And Otherwise Intermittent Fun Fact #0005 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 I must say there is surprisingly little to make fun of tonight, perhaps I am due for a good vacation every now and then. 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 I would like to know if there are any published regulations or rules for #fightnight Like for an instance if mayonnaise is considered a instrument, or more pointedly and relevant if a grand piano could be considered a weapon... You see I am but a feeble old troll, and I would like to know if I may supplement my poor fighting stature with a sylladex loaded primarily of grand pianos. I for one could not, even through my younger sweeps, ever really ponder any other method of fighting for myself. 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
DEL: Comment ==> stsif erab ruoy esu ylno tsum uoY !!nopaew a deredisnoc era stcejbo llA...
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 Dearest chitter moderators, may I ask kindly what exactly in blazes is going on with @thisaccountIsclosed I noticed they carried my Deverified badge, and then after I addressed elephants in a room, they seem to have been yeeted off the end of the universe. This seems rather rash if you ask me, and I wish you to do an investigation into it. 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
This user... Was given this badge... after many accounts..of on site user harassment against many users...including me...and has been...dealt with... accordingly.. (u . u ❀)
Lawyer representation....is not needed... On a website with...clear instructed..rules....on site conduct (u . u ❀)
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 As far as I was aware they are to be provided proper CLegal representation in the more universal sense. I there a paraCLegal in the house?! 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 Welcome to: Uncle Tom Lehrer's Sporadic, Irregular, And Otherwise Intermittent Fun Facts! (UTLSIAOIFF for short!) IV! Tom Lehrer's Sporadic, Irregular, And Otherwise Intermittent Fun Fact #0004 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 @fauvisticGallery I am relieved to see you are back from your break, at least momentarily. I was actually preparing and stocking up in order to perform a wellness check to make sure you were still among us, but it seems I could have been overreacting. Either way glad to see you safe, or at the very least some form of alive. 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 I shall be quite honest with you, I was looking your handle up from the history because I was going to call you out even if you did not make a post. I only saw the post whilst searching the message history for your handle, but the plan was always to tag you, whether you were here or not existing. 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 That is most fair. I have been bottling up my recommendation for your next movie pending the review of the last one. It has been so long I do not even recall where in my huskdrive the text exists! 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 @bigSoup I wish to know who and what hurt you. Also you might find what I had for breakfast amusing... https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/1dcfdb09754c.png 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
-> I Am Incredibly Amused, Cap'n Crunch Is An Elite Member Of The Breakfast Brigade, You Chose Wisely. As For My Own Pain, One Must Keep Secrets, We Can't Know Everything. = Your Total Is $14.20
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 Sent $15 in Legally Distinct From Monopoly Money, you may keep the change. 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
-> You Are The First Person To Properly Pay (ignore Further Payments Which May Be Requested Upon This Pot) = Your Total Is $102.43
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 When you are as many sweeps old as I am, you stop caring about what others ponder about your breakfast choices. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/1dcfdb09754c.png 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 Sorry folks, I shall be sitting this Midnight Gala out. There will however be around 30 gallons of the finest hot chocolate available and a buffet consisting of many wonderful Alternian and Earth human foodstuff offerings for all to enjoy and/or consume set up outside my hive for those who cannot attend the gala for any reason. Everyone is welcome, all I ask is no fighting and clean up after yourselves, that is to say leave no trace! PS. If you feel the need to strife however, I would ask you to take note that there shall be an atmosphere's length of grand pianos at ready to fall upon your thinkpan, I shall not tolerate unfriendliness! https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/95f5cd025489.png 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/656275aca4d5.gif 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
vwhat song should i listen to today troll Tom Lehrer?
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 If you wish to partake upon my own repertoire may I suggest " I Hold Your Hand in Mine " If asking in general I shall instead reccomend: " You Be Illin' " by RUN DMC 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 No worries, Everyone's a bit sadistic for the old Masochism Tango, but I'd be lying if I said it was my favorite song. 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
𝄠𝄵𝄆𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮𝅘𝅥𝅮 I have scoured the history, newspapers, and archive of all of the human earth of which I have access to, and I have decided that this exact time period must have been the absolute most prosperous age that the Earth human country of The United States had ever seen. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/3a03e93ebb41.jpg https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/95a993bdaba7.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/9206a6c5b837.jpg https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/a070205e4862.jpg https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/03898b477590.webp 𝇓𝇓𝇓𝄀
