♥ liked by @firstGuardian
A guy goes to a Halloween party with a girl on his back. The host asks him, "And what are you?" The guy says, " I'm a snail." The host says "And who's that on your back?" "That's Michelle!"
pro tip, if you are making a dog treat, dont make it 'strawberries and creme' market dog treats towards dogs, not me.!!!!!!!!!
I'M AT THE SOUP STORE!!!
I MEAN I'M AT SOUP!
Steals it
it’s good! thought it was just oka7 at first but the more i think about it, the more it grows on me
Your name is Rose Lalonde. You are a published and quite popular author, a new mother, and the sister – though the two of you were raised in different households – of a famous film director. You have odd dreams and migraine spells that leave you defunct in the darkness of your study for hours on occasion but otherwise you find yourself content in the newly domestic lulls of your life. - No incest - Main acc is @turophileGibber - Art by imammunition https://i.ibb.co/Y7tSYzNP/IMG-9305.jpg
kill me
please do not.
AND THAT IS WHY, IF YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH, NOTHING CAN STOP YOU.
i LIKE MY FRIENDS,
maybe.
:33< i know right :33< i n33d mew to also know how brave im being right nyow
:33< oh okay :33< i thought it was like :33< omg :33< but some sorta naycronym i didnt know like :33< electric jelly evil men
a new bec?! :O
woof
Sigh I miss knifegun
80+ people at 8am ii2...... unu2ual.. are you guy2 okay??
kultivate it! hehe
oh wait i have 10 kult what do i do with this
⚝ Ok basically: a buuunch of years ago astrophysicists predicted that the earth would get hit by a meteor storm, wiping out humanity. So SKAIA (a company dabbling in space exploration, meta-reality and such) decided to create a form of pocket/hyper-reality to get everyone out of the upcoming mass extinction event and into their server which would be launched into space, yay! Unfortunately turns out that consciousness/mind has a weight to it and so when billions of people transferred themselves into the server it resulted in a giant black hole :( oopsies!! Hope that clears things up :D ⚝
I LOVE MY FRIENDS!!!!
As the number one Jade Harley fan, every single one should have a good day.
⚝ So apparently my sketch explaining how we managed to get signal down here in PARADISE wasnt "accurate enough" for a *certain someone* //rolls eyes// Ive been asked to post this figure to hopefully clear things up!! (see EDEn?? Im doing what you asked!! >:/ Now stop monitoring my activity on here!!) https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/1ce21be76545.png ⚝
c< 4 fuN! >c
you know how it is man you see a dog you follow the dog you pet the dog rinse cycle repeat
I was curious where my frien_d had disappeared t_o. As if I use social media t_hat_ much. Hello, I am Fizzie Mort_em. I am a mort_ician_. :-)
bark!!!
very important question to any #maidcafe employees!!! how flexible is the uniform requirement :o i was thinking of making my skirt a bit shorter so i can wear my god tier thigh-highs <3 #suggestive
No I hate her.
⚝ WEATHER UPDATE: There have been reports of binary snow in the subaquatic forest! better grab your winter scuba gear!! https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/814e8f6b2c89.png ⚝
oh my god i just got flash banged by affection and i couldn't be happier :)
youre so right bec we should just all start putting our thoughts and feelings into singular and very meaningful statements under the misnomer of woof
everyone like me right?
Do they know? 🤔
i'm happy to announce i'll be starting my very own movie streaming service by the name of jadeflix. pls sign up today
An amusing thought, and one I threaten him with, but not something I feel is likely. I do still speak on his behalf when he needs it, though.
Woof.
@1MP3R14L1STH4LCYON1T3 H3R3'S YOUR R3W4RD FOR 44LLL YOUR H4RD WORK. 1 HOP3 YOU CH3R1SH 1T! HTTPS://F1L3.G4RD3N/4DXXJRDFCBC6CM1W/1TSM3.PNG
sorry i need this to break down everything on a molecular level maybe after :)
Á 𝗝⒜𝕕ɘ hαs 𝕗α𝙡𝕝ﻉ𝐧 𝗶𝐧𝙩ⓞ 𝙩𝐡ɘ ｒｉｖɘɼ ⓐ𝖙 Lﻉ𝙜ⓞ ¢i𝙩ｙ. ꓭ𝘂i𝕝d ʇhɘ "H𝐄Ÿ!"
i think it's time to get started! you heard him after all :) https://i.postimg.cc/yx8ftjbf/alternia-20260524-171922-0000.gif
why the fuck did scratch have to tell her there was a good thing going
surely its not that bad buddy what was it. the psychology of a dog fascinates me im often chased by you guys. so itd be useful to get into your head. for jukes and schmovement. so you gotta tell me
==> give daeve a raise no go back to WORK, daeve #mydaeve #livesgrubbing https://file.garden/ZjWeSXBkUxBjUmEk/ezgif.com-animated-gif-maker.gif ==> (Type in comments.)
...ive really been at this for 6 days now, huh...
destroy..... everything...
whatd you see. what horrors could afflict the mind of a doggy
😗😗😗😗😋😋😋😋
Can I pick up this new tiny scratch and use him as a bowling ball?
underst00d best 0f luck d0n't get caught i never t0ld y0u this
˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚『Hear Ye, Hear Ye!』-ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ Th𝒶nk Y⭑u @m𝒶sterculler F⭑r Te𝒶ch⚕ng Me H⭑w T⭑ Dr𝒶w #g⭑re ! ⚕ Le𝒶rnt 𝑨 L⭑t. https://⚕.⚕bb.c⭑/k2nmqfj0/uhhhmmm.jpg
=Y€ss, daught€r of Har|€y aft€r sh€ fus€d with u som€how
do not leave a nasty little puppet. muppet. or smuppet around me i will waterboard that fucking thing and teach it how to yearn for air. #peaceout #getitthefuckawayfromme
don't worry bec it's for goth day so it's okay :)
remember bean boozled fucked up how they had to harvest from the bean creature
aw morning bec!
For this #fishingfriday I'm going to blow up the ocean.
What if I start asking for stupid badges that don't imply to me at all what so ever? Like the felt ball thing. I can probably hit someone on the head with that. The spinning nepeta icon?...Okay that one just amuses me, I'm not going to lie. Team chud one? I don't know what a "chud" actually is but fuck it why not. If I'm feeling a little evil, I may even nab caspers yucky penny.
good morning everyone!
find my pages
EvenIng chittr.
✐ᝰ I intend on making it a good day!!!!! ᝰᝰ
admitting that you were looking for more of me is mad pathetic anyways its password locked after it got raided a while back some real tight shit that you wouldnt be able to crack even if you tried https://i.postimg.cc/gJ3Wt3x5/image.png
reality hops are great and all, but that kind of movement is either involuntary or full effort. speedblitzing windy shit has to be my primary otherwise i'm just too slow.
✐ᝰ Good evening timeline!!!!!!! ᝰᝰ
The w0rld dance$ with0ut a$king f0r any0ne'$ permi$$i0n, i$n't that w0nderful?
im drunk so im veyr wanm rn #substance
and a tail :D
If you are Jade's dog. I am your dna. Mixed with a carapacian.
once we win the game, youre always free to visit!
whoa! a talking dog. thats so cool... well, everythings pretty normal here though! but i appreciate the concern. i wish i could give you all the pats and belly scratchies possible!
MY FELLOW ALTERNIANS. It has come to my attention that my profile picture was misleading. While I previously used it to appeal to my human constituents, I see this was now in error. Many believed me to be human and compared me to my Earth counterpart, Obama. I am not human. Let me be clear; my name is Barak Trollbama. I am Alternian, an olive-blood, and I am soon to be 30 sweeps old. I am the current President of Earth-C, and was democratically elected. My thanks go out to @naughtyTechnician, who was kind enough to retake my profile picture to show my true likeness. I hope this announcement clears some things up. I apologize for the confusion my images have caused. I have attached an additional image to help show my likeness. Thank you for your time. https://file.garden/acR4O28XdjJpG0lX/selfie.png
The other profile picture was too mad.
⋆.˚˖࿔ ࣪Neigh 🐴 <3
🤍 🐈⬛ https://i.postimg.cc/YSVHw6TS/IMG-0761.jpg
Honestly I think all Jades should be allowed to commit crimes.
i assume thats what first guardians do
good boy :)
/// AHAHAHAHAHA…THIRD NEST…DOWN!!! PHEW!!! I’M STARTING TO HOPE THOSE THINGS AREN’T POISONOUS!!! ///
Simple. Awoooooo
:33 < mew weren't human but mew were still a good dog, mew didn't chase me :33
petpetpetsyou petsyou petpetpetpetpetpet
of COURSE!!! petpetpetpetpetpetpetpetpetpet! good dog best guardian <3
please do not bec!!! you are a good dog and scratch is the absolute worst
i can name two jades who immediately would be sad to see you working with this scratch in particular.
(( ALSO THANKS FOR THE LOVE ON THIS BIT ????? I GENUINELY DID THIS AS A JOKE AT LIKE 4AM IN A VC BECAUSE OF DAMN DANIEL EGGS AND I NEVER EXPECTED IT TO GET THIS MUCH ATTENTION EVER LMAO ((Whether we get huge waves of activity like today or not i'm still doing it once a day until I lose interest in chittr but you guys are cool as hell dawg
GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS STOP COMMITTING CRIMES CHALLENGE (IMPOSSIBLE CHALLENGE)
gonna ignore how weird it is that i understand you bro but shit me too dawg (literal)
i wna bite zomeone #violence??
i might actually be the luckiest girl alive i have never been so happy lmao
I like how of all people The milkman has me fucking blocked.
OKAY ACTUALLY. QUESTION. ARE THERE ANY EXPERTS ON PORTALS HERE?
/// HAHAHAHAHA!!! ONE HIVE DOWN!!! THE WASPS NEVER STOOD A CHANCE!!! ///
no i mean as in the language we can absolutely agree the coat is awful then
Something bad. From a certain point of view. Hoo Hoo.
STUPID SHIT OVER, I WANT TO DRAW GIVE ME IDEAS
Something wrong with my admins they keep sending people on scary quests and letting randos break into the terminal because iTs FuNnY and #4 is just #4
Feeling a little spiteful but no one will ever know what it is I did.
IT'S OFFICIAL! WE'RE FINALLY DOING IT! https://msparp.chat/thefunfair #THEFUNFAIR https://file.garden/X5nOw-a95myVyjmt/collabsfair-ad-alt.png THE FUNFAIR'S FREE ADMISSIONS DAY IS MAY 30TH THIS YEAR. FOR THOSE WHO'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT COMING BUT WEREN'T SURE, OR WEREN'T THINKING OF COMING AT ALL FOR SOME WEIRD REASON, THIS IS YOUR CHANCE! CLAIM YOUR TICKETS NOW. OR JUST TELL THE GUYS AT THE ENTRANCE THAT IT'S FREE ADMISSIONS DAY AND THEY'LL PROBABLY LET YOU IN. WE'VE HAD A LOT OF #COLLABS DONE TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN! @mrTenna'S GAMESHOWLLERCOASTER! THE @helloNeighbor EXPERIENCE! THE RECORD-BREAKING SUPERNOVA RIDE, COURTESY OF @regicidalJester! EXPEDITED BY @marthaStewart'S FUNDING SUPPORT! AND ADORNED WITH GREAT MUSICAL TRACKS FROM THE LIKES OF @lovwerBoy, PLUS LIVE PERFORMANCES FROM @amarousChanteuse, @taciturnTypecast AND @monominousSpectre! BE THERE OR BE SQUARE. AND BY 'BE SQUARE' I MEAN I'LL CRUMPLE YOU INTO A CUBE. [∴]
𝗥𝗘𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗗𝗦: 76 gold, 58 exp, "What the hell, sure." (Achievement)
Because he wants me so bad.
So i found this fucked up looking deer while headed back to my house what in the wide world of sports is it? i'm not an expert on animals but the Fucker was literally jumping the second it hit the ground, straight up frolicking even https://i1-c.pinimg.com/1200x/2a/33/bb/2a33bb4d64202320a381b4091541b442.jpg
still helping some trolls with pailing season and a woman just brought one of those sand castle forms instead of a normal bucket??? apparently they were out of buckets by the time they got to her so she hot that instead? #nsfw
As activity climbs upwards, I remind you all that applications to join The Table will remain open until late tomorrow night. https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScpHTUcTh_mEcBUrCL7QE5SUfyzsvJpD5Xg20Yv4tieVxLDjw/viewform?usp=header
cause you're the best dog!!
as the anCient words say: 6ood do6, best friend.
I'm bullying Scratch in the group chat. It's awesome.
okay! place is gonna smell like jade but she is out right now. Just a heads up!
Great of you to stop by. I have attached a picture for any documentation purposes. https://file.garden/acR4O28XdjJpG0lX/another%20quest%20achieved.png
That seems easy enough. Come to the Gray House and I got you.
atta boy! dont ask for the why, just enjoy the ride!
New quest: Receive 𝘽𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙍𝙪𝙗𝙨. Good boy, Bec!
that's been the 6eneral understandin6 for s while i think!
CALL ME
Okay so I got my quest ..... Who is Ronald Reagan and why am I killing him?
᯽ oh. would anyone be willing to help guide me around? i am worried i might get lost. ᯽
The Doc is all talk and no Scratch. Gonna kill me? Yeah sure buddy.
One has my respect for this. Anything that ruins the day, mood, or general temperament of Scratch is to be admired and appreciated. Also, Diamonds Droog.
INTYERNET. IS BAD IN THE CAVES. COME HELP
/// AHAHAHAHAHA!!! ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL HUNT!!! I FEAST!!! ///
oh, wow. that's cool to hear! thanks bec! tell jade to give you a treat for me. hehe.
oh, wow! haha. i sure hope the end of the world isn't anytime soon! or... happening at all. anymore.
The fuck did I do?
Wait till I spoil everything to you
oh ruby? yeah uh i mean, timeline shit, different jades got different kids, and i guess not all of us fot the ears... 8/
omg beeeeeeeec, hiiiiiiii! /pets expeditiously. uhh, i'd say it's ok! the show i mean. the first, like. 3 seasons are really good! at the least. things are going well! also, wow. it took a lot of pestering to get ME on chittr. did you make your account all by yourself?
depends which one you're talking about... some of us didn't get so lucky 8(
hey, i'm actually doing what i said i made this account for! aside from because @amorousChanteuse nagged me.
now that i've watched the finale, wow. i definitely have some opinions on that last "the troll boys" season by troll eric kripke! but um, i don't wanna spoil anyone. #thetrollboys #review #tvshow #thetrollboysfinale
~>Guten t@g everyone! I kneinw ze b@kery is closed for ze d@y, but I would like to s@y hello! I hope everybody is enjoying @ l@zy Wednesd@y :)<~
guys did wrothe actually fucking drown?
I am in y0ur walls It is really dusty in here
Perhaps I shall open the ask box once again. Questions, statements, confessions? Please direct them here. I am open to the following topics. #nsfw #transgender #fashion #tarot #demonolatry #confessions #runes #goth #quadrants #relationships #satanism #witchcraft https://roanlalondeama.straw.page/
[⚙︎ Doub|e shift tonight apparent|y. I wi|| probab|y be posting even |ess than norma|. ⚙︎]
AY YO? Mods ban this freak. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/9c795d24695d.jpg
MY #RIDEORDIE, @leadRenegade, whi¢h, LEAD ¢LOWN WHOOP WHOOP He'$$$ an a$$$ from time to time, but I'd die for di$$$' klown! If he ain't the one that get$$$ me killed in the fir$$$t pla¢e, HAHA http$://i.ibb.¢o/Qjv44yfJ/KLOWN$-pi¢ture-ver$ion.png http$://i.ibb.¢o/qY4D8nm2/KLOWN$.png
B33 < if were counting sgrub enyamies there was the furrious horrorterror hoofbeast etc acheron but i did have equihiss throw me at its neck so i could decapitate it in one swipe B33 < in my time as a spurrite specifically its mostly b33n lusii and wild earth animals so idk purrobably that one time i carried off a d33r
I mean karkat being a r0mc0m fanatic is c0mm0n sense i fear
Im s0 b0red. Gimme s0me g0ssip
and DONE okay did anyone record the time? did i break a record?
TH1S MORN1NGS "F1L3S OF V4RY1NG L3G1T1M4CY" 1NCLUD3: - P3T1T1ON TO "STOP MY N31GHBOUR PL4Y1NG MUS1C DUR1NG BUS1N3SS HOURS" - P4P3RWORK TO... GODD4MN1T, TH4TS TH3 R1CK ROLL 4G41N. - P4P3RWORK TO F1L3 FOR CH4NG1NG OF TH3 S34SONS. 4S 1N, P4P3RWORK 4BOUT TH3 F4CT TH4T TH3 S34SON H4S CH4NG3D. - TW3NTY-THR33 D1FF3R3NT D3CL4R4T1ONS OF QU4DS GR34T ST4RT 3V3RYON3.
:33 < one time i took down a cholerbear!! :33 < which, fur you earthlings n33ding a refurence point, is like a big grizzly but with chitinous armor plating!
/// AHA!!! A FELLOW SOUL OF TASTE!!! THANK YOU!!! ///
/// MY LUSUS AND I ARE GOING HUNTING!!! WE HAVE ALWAYS HUNTED TOGETHER!!! I AM NOT THE KIND OF FIEND TO SIT IDLY BY WHILE MY LUSUS PROVIDES FOR ME!!! WE GO TOGETHER AND REVEL IN OUR CATCHES TOGETHER AS WELL!!! ///
YOU GUYS REMEMBER THE IDIOT WHO WAS OMINOUS TO DAVE A COUPLE DAYS AGO? YEAH TURNS OUT THE BASTARD IS A MAJOR FUCKING LOSER HTTPS://I.IBB.CO/WRCHHBWK/IMAGE.PNG
👻🐇💤 🦎😑
What'z with all th3 p3rv3rt3d b3havior on thiz platform...
p4rtay hard4Y!! <(^~^)>
they invented a new low just for me
Big reminder t☘︎ all y☘︎u l☘︎vley pe☘︎ple ☘︎ut there!! Currently ☘︎n a delivery f☘︎☘︎d run s☘︎ if y☘︎u ever want y☘︎ur dinner,breakfast ☘︎r dessert br☘︎ught y☘︎u y☘︎ur d☘︎☘︎r in lickity-split!!! just make sure t☘︎ ring my name ☘︎n the ☘︎rder ;}
🥱🥱🥱😞😞😞👋👋👋👋☀☀
look a cUT3 daWG!! ^_^
p4rt3H t1m3!! hawTd4wGSS!!
Oh do it.
mothergrub just be making ppl bruh 😭😭
In a crooked little town, they were lost and never found...
Many of the things buried on that site would haunt you.
\ = >< = / \ i >< i / \ ...><... / Hmm.
D --> Udder milk does not taste quite as fresh D --> As the nectar one drinks straight from flesh- Custodial D --> Memories recount your whole-deal, dairy can constitute a whole-meal D --> Towels and lusal approval, %pert at glass shard removal D --> Aurthour- of muscled flank and twirled moustache D --> I grieve your loss since when you passed D --> I miss you #Memorial #StopButlercide #Positiveb100Inf100ences https://i.imgur.com/Om43Rgy.png
I am dying of a lasagna overdose. Someone help me, please.
Casper looking up bible verses on google just to annoy/roast scratch.
ju5T c4ll M3h th3 73CHN0M4NC3R!!!
Gee. I wonder why. But bark bark. Jack Noir.
that's better than causing a murder soooo ==> jade: pet the dog!!!
My favorite thing about seadwellers is a lot of the time their personality is straight up just "I am a seadweller." Like, okay, girl. Anything else you wanna say? Got a favorite color? A hobby? Comfort food?? Lame. ##^^#ohandbeforeyouyesyou #saysomedumbshit #nothispostisntaboutyou #idonotcareaboutyou #^^
Insert bark sound here. Nope I understand you
that depends!!!! have you been a good boy??
dw bec i understand you! also haii bec!!!! haii doggy!!
#factZ #wiZdom #truthnuKe httpZ://imageZ.Zquidge.org/imageZ/2026/05/20/imagec0d0a7f761b0f4c3.png