Goofus & Galant Ganduh
@goombahGooselikely
Are yôuse Ꝉôôkin' fôr a pairuh feꝈꝈas tô dô YôUR gôôn wôrk? Ꝉôôk nô further than Gôôfus & GaꝈant's Gôôn GuiꝈd! The best shôrt and taꝈꝈ duô this side of the gaꝈaxy!
∙☾__☽ so anyway best tasting trroll meat? i think indigos most of̶ them arre verry lean if̶ you can get one that's bulking peak eating lean ones arren't bad if̶ yerr making soups #gorre #cannibalism #violence
What wese are tôꝈd is that ꝈôwbꝈôôds tend tô be juicier, but a bôdy's a bôdy, right?
Ya know, people always complain dat they don't got a lusus, and dat life is so hard witout one. Well I'm doin just fine witout one! I'm my own independent and reliable guy!
Y'knôw, wese dôn't think we côuꝈd get by withôut ôur Ꝉusus, da big paꝈôôka's given us a Ꝉôt ôver da sweeps, but dere's sômethin' tô be said fôr independence, gôôd ôn yôuse kid!
And dat's perfectly fine! Some guys have dat bond dat they can rely on, and some don't, but at the end of the day, as long ya got dat inner strength to carry on, ya'll be ok!
I GIVE 110% FOR MY EMPLOYERS! IF MY SUPERIORS TELL ME TO JUMP, I ASK HOW HIGH! IF MY SUPERIORS TELL ME TO STAY AND WORK OVERLIGHT, I DO IT! IF THEY ASK ME TO BARK, I DROP TO ALL FOURS AND WAG MY PROVERBIAL TAIL! NOBODY IN THIS COMPANY DOES IT LIKE I DO! 𓂃✍︎
ii aallssoo wwaanntt ttoo, tthhaannkk mmyy ww oonnddeerrffuull ccoorrppoorraattee ssuuppeerriioorrss,, ffoorr oorriiggiinnaallllyy ggiivviinn gg mmee tthhee ooppppoorrttuunniittyy ttoo wwoorrkk ffoorr ABG INC. aanndd ffoorr,, aalllloowwiinngg mmee tthhee pprriivviilleegg ee ttoo,, uussee tthheeiirr,,, ooffffiiccee ccoonnnneeccttiioonn,, ttoo bbeeggiinn,, ppoossttiinngg aanndd pprraaiissiinngg,, ABG INC,, , ppuubblliicckkllyy, ;U; "ABG INC. WE'RE WATCHING YOUR WALLET." -- H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]
ii aaggmm ssoo ssoorryy ffoorr aassssuummiiggnn,, wwhhaatt ccaann ii ddoo ttoo mmaakkee iitt uupp ttoo yyoouu, aanndd rreessttoorree yyoouurr ttrruusstt , iinn, ABG INC. ? ;~; -- H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]
Just... Idk You got any hobbies?
ii ccoolleellcctt , bbrreeaadd cclliippss ,, -- H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]
ii sshhddoouullttnn, bbee ttaallkkiinngg aabboouutt tthhiiss wwhheenn iisshhoouuddll bbee wwoorrkkiinngg -- H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]
uueehh... tt tthhaannkk yyoouu, iitt iiss nnoott wwoorrtthhyy ooff pprraaiissee, iitt iiss mmeerreellyy wwhhaatt iiss eexxppeecctteedd ,, -- H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]
WeꝈꝈ see here, môst fôꝈks dôn't even manage that. Wese beꝈieve in pôsitive reinfôrcement as a teachin' tôôꝈ paꝈ.
ookkaaeeyy, , ppeeooppllee sshhoouulldd, uumm, ddoo wwhhaatt iiss eexxppeecctteedd, ooff tthheemm, , tthhoouugghh, ii tthhiinnkk,,, -- H. MERGAL, SECRETARY [ABG INC.]
plan f0r heist: c0mmit crimes leave celebrate this cann0t fail
i am very intelligent
Ƹ 🌂 > The Dark One requests IDEAS most EVIL. What kind of badge should the LEGION OF SHADOWED DARKNESS have? I must concoct its NEFARIOUS visage... Ʒ
i wanna jar of peanut butter ^_^ ehehehehehehehe AND A BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Z:D
Z:( but i wanna be in the e\/il leigon Z:( i promise i can bring doom to e\/eryone ^_^ pinky swear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Heyse as Ꝉông as peôpꝈe are asking, yôuse in the market fôr a few extra gôôns?
you want to be my sweet little goon???? ^_^ #suggesti\/e. #ooc: ohmygod i didnt intend it to be. sorry. but just in case fuck my life.
Yeah, gꝈad tô hear it! Gôôfus & GaꝈant here are ôpen fôr any themin', wese're fꝈexibꝈe Ꝉike that, see? We've been in the gôônin' biz fôr a Ꝉông, Ꝉông time nôw, we can gôôn with the bestuh them! We hench fôr the tôp!
Ƹ 🌂 > Good. First of all, we must find more EVIL monikers for you both. AND your DREADFUL qualifications. Ʒ
Yeah, are quaꝈificatiôns ARE dreadfuꝈ, that is, if we're taꝈkin' the gôôd is bad & bad is gôôd type deaꝈ. We've gôt Ꝉôadsuh experience in guardin' dôôrs, môving crates in warehives, aꝈꝈ the usuaꝈ miniôn fare.
.webp)
╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ ╰┈➤ #NSFWWW. ╰┈➤ Accidentally got goon goo in my cheesecake @~,@
Wese hate when that happens, sôrry tô hear dat bub. #GôônꝈife #Gôônin'
}(]]]]]) < let's all be real and honest with ourselves for a second > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < most of you don't have anythinǦ to do nowhere to be and no one waitinǦ on you > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < you're ste₽₽ed on by those above you and Ǧlared at by those below > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < most of you have no one just admit it > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < UNTIL NOW > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < consider you could be a shrim₽y loser > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < OR YOU COULD BE A HARDHEADED LOBSTER MONSTER > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < only easy and surefire way to turn your ₽athetic limbs into > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < crushinǦ mandibles > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < is with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < join my team skull and Ǧet some res₽ect on your name > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < learn how to stack some FAT Ǧ'S AND ǦET SOME ICE ON YOUR THORAX > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < for only 299.99 caeǦars ₽aid to me > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < you can join the ₽O ₽UNK NATION > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < no one will mess with you > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < and if you're one of those non believinǦ jerk offs who wants to stay far away and steer clear > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < I'LL BE WAITINǦ TO COLLECT YOUR ₽ROTECTION MONEY > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < it'd be a shame if your ₽lace of business Ǧets looted or vandalized > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < SO ₽UT DOWN YOUR WORTHLESS FRONDS AND JOIN MY TEAM SKULL > ([[[[[){ }(]]]]]) < SO YOUR BIǦ BRO ǦUZMA CAN TEACH YOU HOW TO BE THE BEETLE YOU CAN'T DEFEATLE > ([[[[[){ #teamskull #neverloses #cantlose #ifyouhave #noo₽₽osition #foolscantstand #becauseibreaktheirleǦs
}(]]]]]) < i'm workinǦ on that Ǧot my best and briǦhtest on it > ([[[[[){
When I raise my auricular listening ▣rgans t▣ the air, I can hear it. Clearly, vividly, the cries ▣f ▣ur friends in ag▣ny. The wailing ▣f c▣untless beasts-turned-cust▣dians, b▣und t▣ their charges like shackles, stuck lab▣ring f▣r sweeps.▾ Why is it that ▣ur upbringing is tied intrinsically t▣ the pain ▣f ▣ur friends? Why d▣es their freed▣m seem s▣ imp▣ssible, why are ▣ur pushers s▣ cl▣sed t▣ independence bey▣nd the c▣nstraints ▣f y▣ur beastm▣thers and beastfathers?▾ I see the TRUTH. The future is a perfect Ut▣pia, a w▣rld ▣f beasts and a w▣rld ▣f tr▣lls, separated and pure.▾ I h▣pe y▣u will all understand me. :)▾
An endeavôr Ꝉike dat's gônna need sôme gôôd henchmen! Yôuse hiring?
The chain mail and tunic is pr▣vided, yes!▾
Yôuse gôt it bôss! Yôuse teꝈꝈ Gôôfus & GaꝈant where tô gôôsestep & we're there bôss!