Jake Crocker
@grudgingTributary
He/him. *HAPPILY* wed to my lovely wife jane. Go follow @grittyGroundskeeper and redirect all inquiries to her messages. *PLEASE* do not message me.
Hello, Morning Wood. Sucks to suck @grudgingTributary
I'm not holding back on my torment just 'cause you're feeling ill, brochacho. No handicaps.
Big things happening today i suppose.
Yeah, like me popping a boner for you.
Not sure if this is you threatening to give me a hard on or informing me that youre all hot under the collar thinking about me. Either way ive got questions.
Dude pitying me for my imaginary scenarios.
Youve got an interesting imagination is all!
Well obviously I ain't talking about you two. Wait, did you witness my daydreaming last night?
Who the hell else would you be talking about strider??? Are you having relations?? You cant be flirting around when youre in MY head.
Ugh. Of course you arent. Im a fool to think youd grant me the pity of a reasonable interaction without me having to pry information out of you.
Mommy's yelling at me, I've been a bad boy.
I fear my husband may be ignoring me for his own fucking brain. How wonderful.
I'm starting to get real sick of that not-so-opaque Dirk that's haunting my husband. He's just so strange! And he keeps talking to this "Chat" individual that I can't see so maybe he also has an imaginary friend? I don't know! This is a load of hooey!!!
Please keep private issues private im already embarrassed enough by the very vulgar and very public threat he took it upon himself to make!!
You having a ghoulish apparition of our dead friend is public knowledge at this point, dear.
Okay but the things he allegedly wants to do to me shouldnt be so.
I'm being threatened with silencing. You know those hentais where the protag get's ghost fucked in the air and humiliated by... well, a ghost? I wanna do that shit, right the fuck now. Bro won't see it coming. Man's dead to me.
Hold your horses for just a second now! You cant just throw me on any ol medication especially not a strong one right off the bat.
I think you're gonna have a real fight on your hands if you try to medicate this bitch. And that's coming from a place of warmth. Don't test me.
I don't want you to be warm in any capacity because that implies you have any merit as a real, living, breathing person. Get lost, buster! Quit trying to ghost rape my man! #noncon #nsfwe
He's seriously considering it, he's watching it right now. Why are you so hell bent on seperating us?
I AM WATCHING IT PURELY OUT OF CURIOUSITY AND A BIT OF CONCERN FOR MY OWN WELLBEING FOR THE RECORD!!!!!
You think he's watching it right now? I think he's watching it right now.
No doy im gonna watch what you sent me. I asked you to elaborate!
An update on my prior posts speculations: He can hold a ball! A groundbreaking discovery. He can also chuck it at my head and bonk me right in the ol noggin which i didnt entirely appreciate. :/
Me holding the ball is hilarious, you know damn well it was you holding that ball. Learn to put up a fight, the ol' fisticuffs, bromeo.
If you werent so stupid and see through all the darn time i wouldve shown your sorry ass what for about three times over now!!!! You should be awful thankful for your situation you jerkwad.
Ive got the mindset of a dog or perhaps a very fatherly older man in the way that i look outside and go "man its a real nice day for a game of catch." Dirk wont entertain the thought and i dont really think he can hold a ball in those lousy pellucid hands of his anyhoo? Verdicts still out on how that works. Janeys totally out of the question too and im sure id get another verbal thrashing if i asked her about anything but work. I just wanna play some friggin ball man. :(
Fairly certain the one for guys who like playing with balls is grindr no? Not sure what thats got to do with my post but i digress! Chase your dreams little me.
Darn it thats exactly what shark tank said to me when i pitched this to them.
Hahahaha, you need to learn how to play dodgeball while you're at it.
I didnt ask to play dodgeball though now did i? I feel like a madman really! Cant even control a figment of my imagination!!! You just dont listen!!!!!
Maybe jane was right about medication being the route. Christ you are such a douche.