Jake Crocker
@grudgingTributary
He/him. *HAPPILY* wed to my lovely wife jane. Go follow @grittyGroundskeeper and redirect all inquiries to her messages. *PLEASE* do not message me.
The hostility ive felt toward other variants of myself lately probably means something but im ignoring that in favor of pretending im perfectly mentally sound. Which i am.
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You dont *have* to but id appreciate knowing if you meant that as some sort of petty threat or just the implication that you could be a little more annoying via textual harassment.
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I appreciate how youre just as vague and assholish as your creator. Its charming really. Like father like son.
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I would appreciate if a certain someone would stop saying things that arent meant to be public information!!! #DIRECTPOSTING
I do answer you dirk!! I answer you pretty much every time!! What more can i do!?
No no no, I mean actually gave me more than just that bullshit you were giving me earlier. Like you are now. Like I've been begging for you to give me.
I dont know what you want from me i really dont!! There is no bullshit dirk i am very blunt about my feelings and its up to you to believe me or not because clearly nothing i say will ever be convincing enough for you!!!
I MEAN PUTTING EFFORT INTO YOUR RESPONSES. Showing me it's not JUST you PERFORMING. "Okay, Dirk. I'm sorry, Dirk." I want MORE than just platitudes. I don't want to be placated, I want to KNOW you care. Why do I have to fight you to get you to SAY MORE?
Because ive BEEN saying more and you STILL do this! Sure i was being dry before but up until that point id say ive been being as raw as i can with my feelings and yet you still feel the need to imply that im not doing enough!
I dont have the time to constantly be on social media dirk im not sure what to tell you there?
Then maybe actually talk to me in person? I've walked in your vision MULTIPLE TIMES and you don't even bat an eye.
Do striders think before they post? Serious question.
None of the quad reacts sufficiently describe the way this tickled me.
I wish i could say the same for your commentary regarding my interpersonal issues.
That's the caveat to airing out your dirty laundry. Anyone can watch and formulate opinions based on the scraps you handpick for the feed. The empathy within me extends a tapped fist to my own chest in solidarity. Maybe even a three fingered salute. The online persona watching this has nothing else going on but to straight up giggle at "give it to me raw," and what I'm assuming is lyric posting.
The answer to that question is painfully obvious. No of course not.
At a certain point it becomes easier to just shut up and take it which is probably an unfortunate solution but at least its a solution.
Im a grown man posting my woes for all of chittr. Wow. Much to think about.
New plan! I am going to get very drunk. #substance
It is 11am let a guy have a little fun.
Dude, it's been awhile since I saw you drunk. But I don't know if I could handle it right now.
Has it been? That cant be right! I drink pretty much nightly my dear boy. #substance
Hate it when people have general awareness and dont just continue to entertain my concerning questions on the rightful basis that they might be poorly intentioned! Help a man out!
(( Tis my birthday. Im 21 now. Woohoo
Nothing says "im right" quite like going to make an entire post about why youre right out of what couldve been a brief and private discussion. What a charming guy.
This is sarcasm. If you happen to see this id like to let you know i think youre a douchebag. Jake to jake and whatnot.
Also you're stupid, acting like you're superior to me for being a loyal dog when you haven't been the one subjected to his brain for 18 fucking years. I'm loyal, you don't know loyalty. You're cheating your own Jake trying to fuck with mine.
You don't know where my Jake is or what happened to him and so you can't say a damn thing about that.
I can say easily you're cheating him, because if he's "gone" you wouldn't be here.
My Jake is very much alive but not in a way you would understand. I am also not having this conversation with you. You came into it bad faith and are only trying to get a reaction out of me so I won't entertain you anymore.
Lmao. "Bad faith", what other way could I come into something when you've been attempting to claim superiority over me by asserting you're better than me by trying to get snuggly with my Jake when the only people I've been trying to make friends with are other Jake's. Hypocritical much?
I'm not claiming any sort of superiority over you. I'm getting you all pissed and laughing at you from behind the screen. You're easy. I also highly doubt that you were just trying to befriend those Jakes seeing as you're you. It's in your nature.
And obviously you're just trying to be good buddies with my Jake, nothing nefarious at all.
I have not replied to him in about half an hour.
Im sure this is hilarious from an outside perspective but boy am i tired!!
I just woke up and I don't even want to be awake anymore.
It's hilarious from the inside too.
I wish i knew what was going on at any point because now im allegedly brain ghost cheating on my brain ghost dirk with a random one who has popped up and chosen me specifically to harass which has further snowballed into a debate over who gets to harass jake. GIVE ME A BREAK!!!
Yeah well, you arent the one being held to him with a leash and having every single person you interacted with screamed at by him in DMs. Now are you? Then, to top it all off, he has a random version of me hitting on him after he screwed up yet another fucking friendship I was making.
Youve failed to mention the part where ive only ever dmed 2 people about the matter and they were both jakes because its a little bruising to my ego that youre hitting on random jakes out of your own free will and not because they happened to show up on your proverbial doorstep and decide to latch onto you as this fellow has.
Why would you even want connections outside of Jake? Sure, it's fun to mess with people when they're close by enough to realize we're there, but forming bonds with a bunch of irrelevant randoms when you have the guy of your dreams right there? I don't see the appeal. You might need to step back and smell the man musk to get your head back on straight.
What part of that word slobber did you take issue with?
I just think step back and smell the man musk to get your head back on straight is quite the string of words.
How about you fuck off and stop trying to get with my Jake. When clearly he's already fucking taken. By me. And he doesn't need another, more obviously grotesque version of me trying to get into his pants. He's mine, and I don't have to explain myself.
Nobody is getting into anybodys pants for the record!! My trousers are securely attached to my legs and will remain as such. We can stop fighting now.
Not until this fucker backs off. I'll fight for my page like a true Prince, dawg.
Grotesque is fucking hilarious. What's so wrong with loving your creator, your boyfriend? As a Dirk I thought you would understand this but clearly you don't value his love enough to stay by his side. You would rather hit up other Jake variants in your free time and complain when stopped. How interesting is that?
I need a new profile picture. Allegedly.
My notifications are so very blue right now.
This one is not mine nor do i know him??? Do you think id be so darn surprised to see him if he were somehow mine?
Okay. I'll take your word for it. WEIRD YOU WERE THE FIRST PERSON HE TALKED TO.
Okay well according to his bio hes got an agenda and i figure he just saw any ole jake on the timeline and went with it bro.
Sensitive today, aren't we? Not sure why you feel the need to be so hostile, bro. I am you and you are me. What's the harm in sharing the one who made us real in the first place?
What he says doesn't matter because he quite literally made us. We are nothing but extensions of his own thoughts and that's all we'll ever be. The specific timeline I'm from doesn't matter when he's still the same man.
In quite a bit of pain right now. My back and neck have been killing me.
Oh, you poor soul. Have you 8een getting a proper amount of rest and water intake? Try laying down and stretching your muscles too.
No and no! I might try laying down soon but im currently out and about.
I see! Early 8irds do indeed get the worm, Mr. Crocker. I hope that you're a8le to find some time to rest soon and take care of yourself. Any man with a jo8 as stressful as yours is sure to need it.
I heard a fuck tone Oxycodone typically helps.
Youre a darling. I appreciate your concern though i think ill be just fine. Ive braved worse pain.
Eh, suit yourself, they're gonna prescri8e it anyways to you when you get old enough, so I thought I'd help 8eat you to the punch, y'know?
Oh, please! I'm just a concerned passer8y. Though please do consider taking my advice at some point as I think it would greatly improve not only your pain 8ut your cognitive a8ilities! Since I assume you're dealing with a whole lot of paperwork under very strict time restraints. 8est of luck to you, sir! ::::)
Thank you my dear! Ill get rest as soon as it becomes a possibility.