Dirk Strider
@tenablyTestified
I'm a businessman. Direct any inquires to my inbox, and I'll be sure to ignore them.
@televisualGodhood @everlastingBreath Do you MIND.
Dearest brother, I humbly request that you STOP fucking John under my posts. Regards and well wishes, Dirk
Your alarm is muffled by your quirk. Also, he's blatantly hitting on you, what do you mean "WHAT?"
Witnessing the daunting effects of drugs and alcohol on a man in real time as my brother continues to get more and more tragically moronic by the day. Posts something reading as passively suicidal at best, follows it up with 67, and then makes another vague and ominous post. When I reply with concern, he proceeds to tell me it has nothing to do with me. Because what kind of fool would question the wellbeing of his dear brother? At this point, I'm surprised he's intelligent enough to breathe. #substance #cw-self-harm #cw-suicide #notreally
this has nothing to do with my intellect and everything to do with the fact that im putting off slamming my car through an old womans cozy suburban home to lay pipe on a cute twink with a fat ass you gotta quit worrying so much man also hahahahaha six seven #nsfw
Okay. A few questions, but I'll sum them up with something simplified and easier for a man like you to understand. What?
My questions have been answered. Carry on. Preferably, away from my post.
drunk driving stunt cancelled i got somethin real good lined up #substance
Right. I'll disregard my concerns for your frankly quite suicidal post that you seemed to lose interest in on account of an amibiguous bigger plan. It has nothing to do with me, nor should I continue to concern myself with the wellbeing of my brother. I'll just fuck right off while I'm at it. #cw-self-harm
oh dont be like that bro im not trying to worry you or anything im just saying that its nothing bad and im fine now i post crazy shit all the time so dont ever take anything i say too seriously cuz its probably some big joke anyways why would a guy like me kill himself dirk? i have everything hahaha #cw-self-harm
Shaking my head in a way that is a little sullen and going "tsk tsk" so that you are aware of how greatly I pity you.
The concept of smash or pass on a website full of insatiable horny losers is an interesting one. Really, you have to just kinda suck if you get passed up on chittr of all places. #nsfw
[|87 :: The rampant horn;ness on th;s s;te ;s equally as com;cal as ;t ;s ;nfur;at;n to someone who lacks ;nterest ;n frequent horny post;ng. That be;n sa;d gett;n a "pass" on ch;tter must be a d;abol;cally cr;ppl;n blow to one's ego.
Precisely. If you can't get action from someone who is constantly begging for it, you really gotta reevaluate your shit. It's like offering a bunch of money to a hooker and getting turned down for being too ugly. #nsfw
What is being a lesbian but being gay with extra steps?
aight how do i start running ads on this shit
Preferably, you don't. You're full of yourself enough as is. Think I've heard enough about your work in the past week to last me a lifetime.
I poured a sugar packet into the drink as a carefully crafted revenge plan. The revenge was meant to be the fact that I now can actually enjoy the flavor of my drink and his lesson would have meant nothing to me, but unfortunately, it still fucking sucked.
the best part about this is the honesty. a weaker man wouldve lied. wouldve posted "mmm delicious, lesson meaningless" and suffered in private sip after terrible sip for spite. you told the truth on main and thats on growth. proud of you kind of.
Some variant of my bro referring to himself as a dilf in my replies after having the audacity to claim that he's "parenting" me by subjecting me to sugar free Sprite. Genuinely so awestricken by this interaction that I feel this deserves its own post.
.diet soda is the only soda worth drinkinG
hey someones gotta put the association between me and dilfs out there and tmz has been slacking.
its cool. now that youre following me your thumbs gonna get bruised from hitting that like button so often.
Will be sure to hate all your posts from now on. Just out of spite. Consider it revenge for the poor choice of drink.
thats some petty teen revenge right there. you gonna slam your door next? write about me in a journal? go ahead and hate every post lil man engagement is engagement and youre about to be my best marketing intern. unpaid. like all interns your age i guess. youre like what 15?
word?? my bad man i legit got one of you at a third scale running around my house so my brain just rounds all yall down. yall come off the same assembly line fr. his spite subscriptions are just crayon based for now. anyway congrats on the knees you got like 4 good years left
I'd like this to let you know there's no hard feelings about your mixup, but I'm true to my word.
Attempting to make something to eat for lunch. Keyword being "attempting." I'm not experienced in the art of cooking beyond microwaving some cup noodles, and takeout is getting too expensive nowadays. Wish me luck.
so you just gonna ignore my open offer for wingstop like that? cold lil man. cold.
I don't recall you ever offering me anything, big guy. If you'd like to save me some trouble, I won't tell you no, though.
Not all of the general public reads your posts, the fame might be getting to your head. Surprise me. I trust your judgement, and I'm also desperate enough to consume just about anything at the moment.
tell that to all that hate mail i got just this morning. but okay cool sugar free sprite loco lime it is. look out your window.
Trusting your judgement was an error, I see. Maybe the hate mail is warranted if you think that's a suitable drink choice. Let me be grateful, though. Thank you.