LORD URACIL
@theCaptain
KILLER OF USELESS TIMELINES. CONNOISSEUR OF SPIDER BITCHES. YOUR CAPTAIN. BORN FROM URACILUMBRAGE.TUMBLR.COM.
LOOK AT THE LITTLE POSEUR, HA! REMINDS ME OF MY YOUTH. I’LL MAKE MY CLAIM SOON ENOUGH.
IF I’M NOT POSTING, ASSUME I’M OUT THERE KILLING TIMELINES AND SNATCHING NEW CREW. BECAUSE I AM. HA.
[AN IMAGE IS ATTACHED. IT IS A SHIPS ROOM FILLED WITH PLUNDERED TIMELINE TREASURES, FROM JUJU TO LEGENDARY WEAPONS AND TATTERED GODTIER CLOTHES.]
Look at all the clothes he 8ecame too fat to wear. Lay off the grog.
COULD ALWAYS USE A NEW SPIDER BITCH TO POLISH THE COLLECTION, GLAD YOU’RE VOLUNTEERING.
AM I PISSING YOU OFF, SPIDER? YOU SURE SEEM TO BE COMING ON STRONG HATEWISE. GLAD WE’RE BOTH PULLING OUR WEIGHT IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
I SHOULD SHOW OFF MY TROPHY ROOM SOMETIME! GIVE A REAL NICE SHOWING OF AAAAAAAALL THE TIMELINES I’VE PURGED AND PLUNDERED.
Lock yourself in a 8ox and never come out.
You are correct, a Captain does go first. Good to see you acknowledge the authentic one.
✨🍭🕷️ oh yeah? how many fingers am i holding up? 🕷️🍭✨
GOOD NEWS FOR THE REST OF YOU SWINE, THIS WASN’T ABOUT YOU. SHE KNOWS WHO SHE IS.
I SHOULD MAKE A SPIDER BITCH TIERLIST. SLASH ORDER OF CONSCRIPTION LIST.
You are not a pir8te in any sense of the word. You are no different to someone who has read treasure island and thought to 8uy a miniature of the vessel. You never will hold any prestige.
DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST STOP LIFE FROM EXISTING? IT’S TRUE. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS EVAPORATE THE PRIMORDIAL OOZE BEFORE IT CAN GET TOO BIG FOR IT’S BRITCHES.
yeah especially when everyone's drunk and you start saying "you're all going to explode in five minutes." reeeeal fun. ♪
YOU PEOPLE KNOW HOW TO TRIBUTE YOUR CAPTAIN, THAT’S FOR SURE!
thats right its #dogposting
MORE BLUE JUJU HUMAN SCUM. THIS’LL BE FUN TOO.
AND YOU’RE CANNON FODDER WAITING TO BE SHOT OUT OF EXISTENCE, JUST LIKE THE REST OF THESE TRASH TIMELINES LITTERING THIS PLACE.
KEEP LAUGHING. BUT YOUR POWERS AIN’T AS UNIQUE AS YOU THINK THEY ARE.
oh i know there's a bunch of me's. that's okay though, i've been practicing lots. also you're like. at the back end of a long line of people that need dealing with.
HAA HAA HAA HAA HAA HAA HAA HAA. I WASN’T TALKING ABOUT ANY VERSION OF *YOU*.
WELL, SINCE I GOT NO SATISFACTION WIPING OUT THIS BACKWATER LITTLE TIMELINE CAUSE A CERTAIN BITCH DECIDED TO KILLBLOCK ME, TIME TO SAIL ON TO THE NEXT ONE. I’LL FIND SOME TASKS TO MAKE THE SPIDER BITCHES DO. HAA.
∙☾__☽ damn you gonna let some motherr ̶f̶uckerr kill yerr joy?? thought you werre rreal man #kindalametbh #theick
MIGHTY BIT WORDS COMING FROM SOME NOBODY TROLL. I’D WATCH YOUR FUCKING TONE. BESIDES, WHOEVER THIS BITCH THINKS SHE IS, SHE SURE AS HELL AIN’T STEPPING UP TO ME. BUT YOU NEVER END A GAME IN THE FIRST MOVE.
∙☾__☽ not big just trrue and why the ̶f̶uck should i?? who the ̶f̶uck do you think you arre???? mmm drrawing it out alrright alrright i can dig that
YOU KNOW THE EXACT RIGHT BUTTON TO PRESS. KEEP AT IT.
SO MANY SERKETS TO SNATCH. I MAY NEED A BIGGER BOAT, HAA HAA!
A FINER KIND OF TROLL THAN A SPIDER BITCH THERE’S NEVER BEEN, AND I’VE BEEN COLLECTING THEM FOR A LONG FUCKING TIME.
I’VE GOT ENOUGH TO MAKE WORK AROUND THE SHIP, AND MORE. HAA HAA.
I TRY TO STAY CLOSE TO THE ORIGINAL BRAND, BUT SOMETIMES I PICK UP A FEW SLOPPY ALTERNATES ALONG THE WAY.
...okay so it's a serket fetish. noted. #nsfw(ish) ♪
[AN IMAGE IS ATTACHED. HUNDREDS OF SKELETAL SILHOUETTES ARE ENGULFED IN KALEIDOSCOPIC FIRE]
ALRIGHT, BACK TO RIPPING THIS COFFEE SHOP SHITHOLE TIMELINE TO PIECES.
WAIT. TIMELINE DESTRUCTION PAUSED. SPIDER TROLL CAT FIGHT. FUCK. YES.
THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN. [AN IMAGE IS ATTACHED. IT’S A COFFEE SHOP BURNING IN RAINBOW FLAME WHILE THE MOON IS BREAKING PART ABOVE.]
