The One and Only
@trulyTestified
You know who I am.
[OOC intro post] Another ultimate dirk, how original I know right? He's going to be pretentious and a bit of a dick, please feel more than free to block him. Primarily based on the epilogues rather than HS2
If he keeps being mean to Junior we're never going to get our canoe time back.
Damn, that sucks.
God, remember "Nice Dirk"? Glad he's gone.
Sorry. It's a sore subject for me, and it's been kind of a rough week as is. I shouldn't have snapped, that's on me. And furthermore, I politely ask that you never refer to me as a "Nice Guy" again, I do not associate with those fedora wearing ill-manered wannabe martyrs. Respectfully.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ♡ ༘⋆ whoa what the fuck you were shy dirk???? you really don't tell me shit smh ⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊🐇୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ♡ ༘⋆ i mean you didn't tell me you were going to blow up again the blowing up makes sense now, shy dirk did that too ⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊🐇୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
Are you trying to Steven Universe me? Let's go back to hurling insults.
Come on, we Striders are known for being an emotionally expressive bunch, show a little passion.
There's a difference between passion and belligerence. I have plenty of passion for the things I enjoy, pointless arguments and getting called a bastard are *not* one of them.
That was four entire messages ago, you can't still be upset about that. People change.
Narrative beam
Billion damage blast
Ough.
Trillion healing special
Yippee!!
*crucible parries the fuck out of that shit.*
B// < counternyarrative beam
Daring today aren't we?
I believe in you, the reader, to take all information into account and draw your own conclusions.
Rejoice, I have a gift for you. Do you like it?
Th1z 1z thε bεzt th1ng 1’vε εvεr zεεn wtf 1z 1t
It's one of my creations.
tεll 1t 1 l0vε 1t
Hey, wow, I don’t like that!
Well, there's no accounting for bad taste.
Bad taste would explain why it exists.
Sometimes I like to throw rocks at the creations we have made.
Now listen, I am admittedly an outsider to that timeline, I did kill myself after all (#cw-self-harm #suicide) but why the hell was psycho the murder clown the one they decided to bring back? Like? I feel as though there were better candidates. Hilarious that Jane loves him more than Jake though I will admit.
Well, I don't know if I'd use the word "poor". Implies a certain level of pity I do not hold for him.
For the record, I'm neutral on Junior.
Only way to be.
I mean, it's clear to me that you are not. Neutrality would be not caring if it gets thanked or not.
https://media.tenor.com/OMIOmBuTUAQAAAAj/cat-tomato-tomato.gif
HAHAH
No idea what you're talking about. I've never posted public beef.
Anytime another "ultimate" Dirk joins this site one of us is lying. It's up to you, the reader, to figure out which one is which. In this way, I am a mystery novel.
No thanks. We’re good, actually.
I know you pages aren't very fond of effort yeah.
Well shit Calcifer I know my expectations were low but I didn't expect you to be stumped by a single sentence. The users of this site amaze me every day.
I'm just going off your own bio. Should probably adjust it if you don't want the confusion.
Oh fuck me, I nearly forgot about that. Meant to remove that, stupid joke from when I was a kid.
Right, well, happy to help. Now I'm going to go find someone who wants to solve my mysteries.
It's a mixed berry smoothie btw thanks for asking.
Actually kind of insane to name your child Tavros. Jade would've been justified to freak the fuck out.
That's really unfortunate.
ARe you earnestly speaking,, ill of me,, while i am in a predicament and hiding tos urvive,,,
yeah. i feel like falling fꙮr the mꙮst basic "may i have yꙮur name" is a bit ꙮf natural selectiꙮn, thꙮugh. - The Mystical Potion Seller Guy Man
No. I'm speaking ill of your PARENTS while that happens to you.
There's some truth to that yeah.
@rubyredBarking this seems like something you'd like your eyes on currently.
Okay so he's hiding. Okay. Thanks
No problem, just be sure to make it interesting for the audience.
I'm fucking TRYING
Damn, that sucks I guess. Got a smoothie though so, everything's coming up Dirk.
🍿
When I'm happy I say: Bitches love my shades. When I'm sad I say: I've disappeared into the infinity of myself. And I am... magnificent.
I went to "mad at me island" and you weren't there yet. This will change.
What good is a villain that no one detests?
Oh, good.
Megidos can be cruel can't they?
It was an observation of another, not of myself.
Yes you're very quaint with that observation. The fact of the matter is that my interactions with the Megidos have been quite pleasant so far.
@cryhoundColoratura as your new best friend it is my shame that I will not be attending your grub shower, which you were no doubt going to be inviting me to. I am quite busy on Deltritus as of now, however, I will be sending you some sick shades for the youth. I hope they are to their liking.
holy shit I will a8solutely don my little gru8 in shades
@slopMaster 8a8y our gru8 is gonna look sick as fuck
꒦꒷ Are the shades evil?
I do everything with purpose, I have no purpose to give your grub "evil shades" and so they are regular. They don't even have an auto responder in them.
꒦꒷ okay phew thats fine then
Writing in my very real notebook "Lord English is a tsundere."
so we're 8esties now yes ??
I don't know why you'd like that to be the case.
omg guys he said yes <3
REMOVE YOuR HANDS. FROM THAT PENCIL. IMMEDIATELY.
I write in pen, because I do not make mistakes.
Sure, why not.
Though as a warning, my actual best friend is probably actually Y/N.
I would never think to infringe upon their territory
Then this can all work out.