♥ liked by @turnedTables
UGH, BUT YOU'RE STILL SO SELF ASSURED. WHATEVER, AT LEAST YOU AREN'T IMMEDIATELY SETTING OFF MY FINELY HONED 'AVOID AT ALL COSTS' SENSOR SO THAT AT LEAST SPEAKS FOR SOMETHING. NO, I DON'T PARTICULARLY WANT TO FIGHT WITH YOU. EVERYONE ASSUMES THAT I'M CONSTANTLY TRYING TO GET IN KEYBOARD RAGERS ON CHITTR JUST BECAUSE I FIND IT FUN OR WHATEVER? BLATANTLY FUCKING UNTRUE. THIS IS SOMETHING I DO BETWEEN THE REST OF MY BULLSHIT LIFE. FOR INSTANCE, RIGHT NOW? I'M AT WHITE QUEEN CASTLE ABOUT TO SEE IF THEIR SLIDERS ARE WORTH LITERALLY FUCKING ANY OF MY MONEY OR TIME AFTER BEING WARNED AWAY. UNFORTUNATELY, CURIOSITY IS A DAMN POWERFUL THING. SO YEAH I'M BASICALLY JUST HERE TO DASHWATCH, MAN, DON'T WORRY ABOUT HAVING TO FIGHT ME OR WHATEVER.
WHAT, NO BRASH DISMISSAL? NO WITTICISM TO THROW AT ME THAT WILL MAKE ME MAD NOT BECAUSE OF ITS CONTENTS BUT BECAUSE YOU JUST MADE SOME BULLSHIT THAT BARELY FITS IN THE PAN? NO FIGHTING? I'M ALMOST DISAPPOINTED, BUT IT'S KIND OF REFRESHING TO FIND EVEN ONE DAVE WHO ISN'T CHOMPING AT THE BIT TO TRY AND ONE UP ME OR GET IN MY PANTS FRAME ONE. SO CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING TOLERABLE. DON'T MESS THIS UP FOR YOURSELF.
AS MUCH AS IT PAINS ME BEYOND ALL FUCKING BELIEF TO ADMIT IT, THIS IS PRETTY MUCH MY STANCE ON THE WHOLE 'VERIFIED ACCOUNT' THING. I WOULDN'T USE THESE WORDS BECAUSE THEY'RE ONES THAT COULD ONLY BE FORMED FROM THE DROOLING MAW OF THE BLUNTEST TOOL THE IMPLEMENTS BLOCK HAS TO OFFER BUT THEY'RE CORRECT WORDS NONETHELESS. I DON'T NEED SOME SHINY TICK MARK FLOATING AROUND MY FACE TO KNOW THAT OUT OF THE ENDLESS JABBERING LITANY OF KARKATS, I'M PROBABLY THE CLOSEST TO 'THE REAL GUY' THAT THERE EVER WILL BE. CARBOLIC GETS CLOSE BY VIRTUE OF BEING A GUY WHO DOESN'T MAKE ME WANT TO CAVE MY OWN SKULL IN WITH THE CLAW OF A HAMMER EVERY CONVERSATION WE HAVE BUT STILL. DUDE HAS HIS OWN ISSUES. POINT IS. I'M THE REAL GUY, AND ANYONE WHO USES A VERIFICATION MARK IS MAKING THEMSELF LESS REAL BY PROXY. CONGRATULATIONS. YOU FUCKED IT UP FOR YOURSELF AND THERE'S NO TAKING IT BACK.
RAAAAAHHH NECORMANCYYY RAAAAHHH WIZZARDDD ✨🎀
doobah --> 😂
I go for the like + pity combo.
lets really consider this guys
yea ikr fellow dave
no #davehour
BOOO GET IN LINE
Peep the glow up https://i.postimg.cc/pLDWxS8s/Screenshot-20260610-173023.png #davehour
https://i.postimg.cc/X7Rmj7kb/Screenshot-20260610-171437.png
https://i.postimg.cc/44LTgg0Z/doobah-hi.png doobah #davehour
u rn https://file.garden/acMBO6tw6Rf7QzjD/IMG_2135.jpeg
バーはゴミ箱なので、二度とマイクを拾うことはありません。(Your bars are trash, never pick up a microphone again.)
why would you fuck a meme? gross dude!
CLEARLY? WHAT THE FUCK ELSE WOULD THIS BE. LET A MAN HAVE HIS HOBBY.
https://media1.tenor.com/m/l647xz9xahcaaaad/thpeed-covering-mouth.gif
-=[ ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶_☺]=-
Repoorting foor duty
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K--<@consequentlyOblique @nicheLarper @naughtyTechnician @militaristicGeek @goldenGigabyte #TEAMCHUD ASSEMBLE!
@tent★tivelyTenebrous
THIS IS FUCKING RICH COMING FROM YOU. YOU'RE THE SECOND DAVE TO ACCOST ME ON THIS THREAD TODAY SO COLLECTIVELY YOU'VE PROBABLY SAID MORE WORDS TO ME THAN I'VE SAID OUT LOUD ALL DAY COMBINED.
ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER PIZZA PLACE TO TRY. I'M STILL SEARCHING FOR ANYWHERE ON EARTH-C WHERE THEY ACTUALLY GET THIS SHIT PERFECT. I'M TALKING THE OPTION FOR STUFFED CRUST, A CRISPY BASE, ADEQUATE GREASE AND PLENTY OF CHEESE. I DON'T CARE WHAT HUMAN '''ITALIANS''' THINK- THE TRADITIONAL STYLE OF FLAVOR DISCS IS FUCKING DISGUSTING. YOU MEAN YOU'RE PAYING FOR SOMEONE TO SKIMP ON THE CHEESE AND FLOUNDER A BUNCH OF GREEN SHIT ON THERE HAPHAZARDLY? GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK. TODAY'S SLICE ACTUALLY GOT PRETTY FUCKING CLOSE. MY FAVORED TOPPING IS PEPPERONI WITH EXTRA CHEESE AND THEY SURE AS HELL DELIVERED ON THE EXTRA CHEESE PART. THIS SHIT HAS A CHEESE PULL STRAIGHT OUT OF THE ONE IN WHICH AN ANTHROMORPHIC BARKBEAST AND HIS BARKBEAST SON HAVE TO TRAVERSE THE HIGHS AND LOWS OF BEING CARETAKER AND GRUB WHILE ON A SCUTTLEBUGGY TRIP ACROSS THE ALTERNIAN MAIN CONTINENT TO GO FISHING BUT THE KID WANTS TO GO SEE A CONCERT INSTEAD TO IMPRESS HIS FLUSH CRUSH. THE ONLY THING THIS LOSES POINTS FOR IS THAT THE PEPPERONI IS LESS CRISP THAN I'D LIKE. IT SHOULD HOLD THE GREASE LIKE A CUP, PERFECT FOR GETTING ALL OVER YOUR NASTY CHIN AND MAKING YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR LATER AND WONDER WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE DOING WITH YOUR LIFE. ANYWAY, STILL A SOLID 8/10 BUT NOT PERFECT. THE SEARCH CONTINUES. #FOODPOSTING #THESLICESEARCH
Patience is a virtue!
Again, if you all can hear "All of the Lights" emanating from the Gray House, do not be alarmed. I just do that sometimes.
[ >OF COURSETH IT DID, AS A LAW-ABIDING EVIL WIZARD IT WOULD BE MOST UNWISE TO FUCKETH WITH THE MACHINATIONS OF THE TROLL IRS_ ]
IT’S A SNAIL. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT IT TO DO? IT’S NOT GOING TO STAND UP AND DO A FLIP.
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t)(is is fuckin stupid. ill just goregle it myself.
Let's Get Five Nights Of Job Applications Going, " Gang ".
let me know how that goes man
9/11 D3HUM1D1F13R HTTPS://1.POST1MG.CC/9M4PCW8S/SCR33NSHOT-20260513-191551.PNG
you’re secrets safe with me bro i love the way they wiggle their stupid little antennae things
ugh im bored lets all delete our accounts
1 WOULD K1LL FOR SOM3 L1TTL3 C43S4RS CR4ZY BR34D ONG
To whomever has been graffitiing an X over the “R” in the “Gray House” sign on the lawn: That’s hilarious.
u first LOLOLOL
Gotta say, it's really funny seeing "Minors DNI" on a profile on a website that already has a strict "no minors" rule in place.
PLSSSSSS DONT MAKE ME GET A REAL JOB I NEED 2 PLAY 16 HOURS OF EMERALD KAIZO REHATCHED & THEN TAKE A 14 HOUR NAP W/ #LeCats :( :(
i think theres something here, we c∆n workshop this
S★ke ★nd b★rbecue tonight. #subst★nce
HA HA. VERY FUNNY STRIDER.
[+] the site managed to not expLode in yer absenCe
first orded of new policy. pillow forts. should we make more? yes.
AWTCH WHO.
-=[ https://media1.tenor.com/m/KWn1b-yRKdQAAAAC/tongue-tongue-out.gif_☺]=-
B33 < thanks meowbe ill mail these latepurr
◥▶◀◤ —> Oh okay.
Sometimes, I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
my barber fucked up my 2hiit and then po2ted a piicture of iit 2ayiing "uh oh 🤣".
I leave for two hours and you are all planning "9/11 2." This is disgraceful. It should at least be called 9/12.
absolutely drink that shit
dnt do it it will feele so bad in the mroning its proly so much sugar
oh snap??? that is messed up!!
((Hi for the record unless someone volunteers (not pressuring or obligating just noting) it will probably be a minute before any Damara/Handmaid from this Doc’s timeline shows up, later tonight at earliest and tomorrow at latest. this was fun thank you all for bullying me <3
i feel like i missed something while i was making sure the kiddo didnt give me a new unwanted hairstyle
https://cdn.theatlantic.com/thumbor/n3nmhQGEY9vkCXdE5au8eKyPSCg=/28x15:2022x1137/960x540/media/img/mt/2018/04/RTRS0M7/original.jpg
Yeah Viagra Prescriptions Tend To Be Way Too Low, Try Using Some More
Dear Chitters, It has come to my attention that a member of our congregation has been Denined the right to Chit with us, and it is a shame rhat our current Bunker Resident has been silent about it. This will be a day that lives in Infamy for our fledgling site, a Blatant disregard of the Chitter user's protected speech. In retaliation, I have called a group of extremely talented and Brave interna together to enact a plan in freeing the user, A Boeing 747 is currently Enroute to the Cueballs home, with more to follow if he does not Comply. -From the Second, not as cool Presidential Bunker, Troll GWB. #letherchit #FreedomForAll #9/11 Part 2
// hands hands hands https://64.media.tumblr.com/8d547a03c71ff2c5c6ced8ccf446412e/6c4c52d9aaf09b6d-c9/s640x960/6dd8394130cf266f2fad8425887f2aabceef28f9.png
YES, BUT I AM BEING TRANSPARENT WITH YOU WHEN I SAY: COME UP WITH A BETTER EXCUSE!!
X Do you think they’d let you leave if someone drove a transport buggy through the wall? x
CONTRACT TUBERCULOSIS AND DIE.
NO. YOU DO THIS EVERY DAY. YOUR "AUNT" WHO DOESN'T EXIST CAN ONLY DIE SO MANY DAYS IN A ROW BEFORE IT GETS SUSPICIOUS.
They don't understand. Only you get it.
If I was a smurf, I'd be Lazy Surf.
Hoow loong doo yoou think it'll take foor him too nootice my new bioo
Stay strong. We still have Neopets.
Wow wow wow wow! Check it out! Check it out! I am coming after you, zee? https://file.garden/acSEE28XdjJpG1Nj/Anizzy_Dance_Front_FAS.gif
❥lmost got ❥rrested the other night!! but of course they couldn’t keep ❥ b❥ddie locked up mu❥h #fitcheck https://f2.toyhou.se/file/f2-toyhou-se/im❥ges/103875521_qyrZfsrQRG❥P40b.jpg
:33< none of mew moewthpurrfurkers even speak meowbeast fake fans!
i'd bring it to you :( sorry you're suffering ...
prrr prrr.. ::3
:33< thank mew
the bees in question: https://cdn11.bigcommerce.com/s-wumqzdp3rw/images/stencil/original/products/843/2671/GUY_0061_2k75__61808.1705639613.jpg
for my siblings birthday: bees
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/F0VchOyakAMkQEm.jpg
But on the other hand, Happy 4/13 everybody!
https://media.tenor.com/H-w7stM8IPkAAAAe/hate-mondays-puss-in-boots.png
3833 < BITHDAY!!! >
THE SUN.
to everyone that went to nycstuck i envy you and it should’ve been me!!!! but i hope it was loads of fun for y’all 😭//
you literally have my phone number why is this your way if getting my attention??!????
nycstuck had a lot of amazing memories for me but this picture is so important to me and it has some of my favorite people in it :D https://file.garden/acVcRW-lGD3FoFzc/IMG_7147~2.jpg
EVERYONE ON THIS SITE IS CRAZY. I REGRET MAKING A PROFILE. I’M GOING TO SLEEP, I LEAVE YOU ALL WITH ONE THING: #DONOTCANCELKARKAT THAT IS THE LAST THING I WANT FOR 4/13. THE UNBEARABLE JOHNS WOULD SEE CANCELLING ME AS A PRESENT AND I CAN’T HAVE THAT.
LIES. YOU ARE A LIAR.
Screen name and bio update.
:33 < lucky fuckin strider
I AM SHOWING YOU DISCOURAGEMENT RIGHT NOW.
YEAH, OKAY. FINE.
@carcinoGenetwinkist
ok i think this is about right. i added some special mentions! #nsfw #fmk. just to be clear a lot of this is based on my experiences talking to people on here so far! https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/5aee5e2b1e4d.png
NOT THE RIGHT QUAD, YOU BRAINLESS SHITLIVER.
:33 < https://i.pinimg.com/1200x/e8/57/a0/e857a0e21930b8b96c30ec442fe24a48.jpg
WHEN DID HATE FLIRTING STOP BEING AN ACTUAL ART? ROMANCE IS DEAD, I HATE TO FINALLY ADMIT IT. #NSFW FOR QUAD TALK.
iimpaatiient!!!! ii need tomodaachii liife!!!
HONESTLY I'M SURPRISED THIS WASN'T STARTED EARLIER.
:33 < #cancelkarkitty :33 < in support of my human homie @turnedtables
#cancelkarkat
WHY IS MY DAVE KIND OF EXTRA STUPID? LIKE WE DON’T ASK THE REAL QUESTIONS HERE. IT’S ALWAYS “KARKAT IS MEAN THIS, KARKAT IS RUDE THAT.”
Happy birthday, Butch Cassidy.
I HOPE YOU KNOW YOU ARE NO EXCEPTION AND I AM RUDE TO YOU TOO.
:33 < so true
:33 < https://i.pinimg.com/1200x/e8/57/a0/e857a0e21930b8b96c30ec442fe24a48.jpg :33 < this is my artists rendition of when me and karkat tried the wall cotton candy!! :33 < he was a grump ameowt it as mewsual though
happy fuckin birthday to the big jegbert
iT IS, a VERY SPECIAL DAY, fOR A VERY SPECIAL, bLUE INDIVIDUAL WE ALL HOLD, nEAR AND DEAR TO OUR, pUSHERS, sO i WOULD LIKE TO SAY, eVEN IF i AM NOT SURE, tHE TIME ZONES WORK OUT, eXACTLY BUT, a BUNCH OF POSTS ARE BEING MADE SO, i GUESS i NEED TO RUSH IT OUT THERE, tO MAKE SURE IT IS SEEN, aND HOPEFULLY THE RECIPIENT IS AWAKE TO SEE IT, bUT, hAPPY wRIGGLING dAY, JANE! @GUTSYgUMSHOE @GUTSYgUMSHOE#2740 @GUTSYgUMSHOE#7975
APPARENT HAPPY WRIGGLING DAY TO ALL THE JOHN’S OUT THERE, EXCEPT FOR THE ANNOYING ONES. AS WELL AS HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JANES, USING THE HUMAN TERM BECAUSE YOU ALL USUALLY AT LEAST HAVE SOME OF MY RESPECT. AND ANYONE ELSE WHO SHARES A WRIGGLING DATE TODAY. THERE ARE A LOT OF YOU.
JUST SAW TROLL DAVE AND EVEN THOUGH IT SHOULD BE NORMAL TO ME THIS CREATES ALMOST AN UNCANNY VALLEY EFFECT.
are we still d0ing these? #tierlist #fmk #nsfw https://cdn.imgchest.c0m/files/07de1aa76756.png
:33 < hewwo!! :33 < mew've reached the equihiss zahhak complaint depurrtment!! :33 < please remain where mew are while my snipurr locks on mewr location
Once again I think if I engaged in #FMK it would only serve to humiliate me and show my terrible taste.
ch3ck 1t!!! #nsfw https://cdn.1mgch3st.com/f1l3s/784fb8f35743.png (4rt by nsfw33?)
marry, but in an affectionate way not in a sexual way. that could change though.
omg it's that intense?!??!? okay i'll catch the little guy asap!!
in case anyone wasn't around earlier, feel free to reply to my #fmk post from earlier and i will still give you an answer. #nsfw.
DAVE COMPLAINS ABOUT MY WEED BUT TEXTS ME SHIT LIKE THIS FROM THE LIQUOR STORE ASKING IF IT’S A GOOD PICK: HTTPS://I.IMGUR.COM/SIIBFFV.JPEG #SUBSTANCE
Sheets washed, dinner ordered, rotting pile of flesh in the bathroom completely forgotten about. Settling down with my dog and an ice pack. Send it Sunday.
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/e881da78acfa.jpg
ALSO JOINING THIS SITE TO SEE EVERYONE PUT ME IN A HUMAN WEDDING CATEGORY? FEELING FLATTERED I GUESS.
I JOIN THIS SITE JUST FOR THE FIRST THING I SEE BEING @TURNEDTABLES CALLIMG A BLUNT I ROLLED BLUE CHEESE. #SUBSTANCE
why cant you people meet.somewhere cool like thecasino
okay, becau2e II wa2 gonna 2ay. carry on then.
2o you've never embarra22ed another dave ii2 what you are 2ayiing? II am pre22iing "X" two doubt and 2tariing you down and judgiing you untiil you tell the truth.
As a wise man once told me: “Noooo… Don’t be sad you’re so sexy haha.” I am sure you all could follow this advice as well.
I always got you.
0NE STR1DER. TW0 STR1DER. RED STR1DER. BLUE STR1DER.
((Okay but for real though. "Too long didn't read" or anything along those lines is mean to the person behind the character more than anything. Someone real *did* write all that and it's pretty hurtful to dismiss all that work to their face or tell them that they aren't worth the effort of reading a paragraph or two. Characters are gonna be mean but remember not to be a jerk to the real person.))
N0NSENSE. Y0U ARE THE SEC0ND BEST STR1DER 0N TH1S S1TE.
if that post was in reference to me, i am polyamorous. :) #vagueposting.
Oh, all right.* *FOR COMEDIC PURPOSES ONLY. #nsfw I guess. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/6c6afb9be7a7.jpeg
Fuck: My wife. Marry: My wife. Kill: Civilians.
#Sheetmusicsunday #dontgetanyideas #youfreaks https://i.imgur.com/zweZEhn.png
if you drinnk. warm water, or annythinng warm. it should help. genneratinng frictionn too. i knnow a lot about stayinng warm.
I DONT LIKE BLOKES I DONT LIKE BLOKES I DONT LIKE BLOKES I DONT THINK ABOUT MUSCLES I DONT THINK ABOUT MEN I DONT LIKE SWEATY MEN I DONT LIKE TWINKS OR HUNKS OR TWUNKS OR OTTERS OR BOTTOMS OR TOPS OR VERSES OR ANYTHING IM A MAN #nsfw !!!
I think I like men.
My fellow Alternians and Chittr.ing users, it is time I retire for the night. My cherished constituents, even those who do not always agree with my stances: I bid you a good night. Trollsevelt, I hope you have the night you deserve.
it really is
shouldnt have let your guard down man
I see we are #lyricposting, and I am delighted to join in. This is a personal favorite of mine. And the rocket's red glare, the bomb bursting in air. Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there. Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?
Not lesbian not lesbian not lesbian not lesbian.
A LITTLE SELF INDUGLEMENT NEVER KILLED ANYONE https://i.pinimg.com/474x/ca/f9/23/caf9231f010330f2deddfebcb4ca2d4e.jpg
i ain’t kiss n s)(ell buoy 3B-)
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*rips line of coke* mimimimi #substance
cool thanks
✩💜₊˚.🪻⋆☾⋆⁺₊🫧✧ Patricide ✩💜₊˚.🪻⋆☾⋆⁺₊🫧✧
ITS LATE ENOUGH IN MY TIMEZONE AND IM PLACING BLAME ON DAVE #NSFW IMPLIED/INTENDED #BLACKROM BUT DO WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR FUCKING BOAT. #POWERIMBALANCE <- IMPLIED I NEED TO SPEAK BASED FACTS. THEYRE BASED TO ME SO FUCK YOU. AS MUCH AS I HATE THE IDEA OF SHARING SALIVA AND FRENCH KISSING AS A WHOLE THERES JUST SOMETHING ABOUT SOMEONE SHOVING THEIR TONGUE DOWN YOUR THROAT THAT SEEMS A MILLION TIMES BETTER. GET ON MY PAGE HOLD ON. IM GOING TO VISUALLY PAINT A PICTURE FOR YOU, YOURE SITTING DOWN NEXT TO SOMEONE YOURE WITH. AND WHATEVER YOURE KISSING, SMALL PECKS. THEY GRAB YOU JAW AND FORCE YOUR MOUTH OPEN JUST TO SHOVE THEIR TONGUE IN THE OPENING. REFUSING TO LET YOU PULL AWAY YOURE SITTING THERE, HANDS GRIPPING ON YOUR PARTNER'S SHOULDERS WHILE YOU MENTALLY CONTIPLATE BETWEEN PULLNG AWAY AND LEANING IN
#chittrconfession #nsfw sometimes when i pass by a reflective surface i get so entranced by the handsome bastard lookin back at me that i cant help but lean in for a kiss and then another kiss and then another kiss and then suddenly my pants are off and
yea he famously said that fr
i'm always saying this.
boys will be boys!
thats valid tb h
thats what im sayin like this social media shit easy as fuck when you slap the strider brand on it
I'm sorry, I'm really fucking high and this came to me in a premonition.
I am pleased to hear that, Mr. Strider.
Your check should be in the mail, Mr. Strider.
Everyone who has experienced a stomach ache will now be entitled to financial compensation.