Dave Strider
@turntechGiveshead
@technologicArchon bro if I tell you something promise youll be chill about it with chittr as our witness
wish i had thought of this chumhandle..props to you brother
i cant believe youd roast me like this daves vs daves what has the world come to cant even rely on yourself smh
your dad replied to one of my posts i panicked and blocked him ill never get his approval now were about to get all romeo and juliet up in here but just so were on the same page maybe we shouldn't do something dramatic like kill ourselves unless you want to i could be down for a suicide pact do you think our tragic love will be recognized and theyll bury us together i call the right side of the coffin #cw-self-harm
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we arent dating but im breaking up with you because i human-hate your brother thats how serious this situation is
IIn my defence II never 2aiid we were (and II w0uld never 2ay anythiing tw0 Miituna) but faiir en0ugh.
i want a box of my things on my doorstep by noon and ill contact a lawyer over who gets to keep the cat that we dont have i might have to seduce the lawyer to my side but just know its because me and mittens have gone through so much together he blinks his little kitty eyes at me and damn I just fold like a towel you can keep the fridge magnets tho
But II al20 want the cat we d0 d0n’t have 20 II miight have tw0 2educe the lawyer bef0re y0u d0. Miitten’2 ii2 my entiire galaxy, iif he a2ked me tw0 jump 0ff a cliiff iin a very her0iic way. II w0uld and iit’2 n0t becau2e my 2elf l0athiing w0uld agree.
that lawyers got a big storm coming and that storm is the two hottest humanoids in this godforsaken timeline we cant let this end in a strider-lawyer-captor sandwich we'll confuse mittens
II d0n’t thiink any lawyer w0uld be prepared f0r any type 0f 2triider-lawyer-Captw0r 2andwiich. IIt w0uld ab20lutely c0nfu2e Miitten2 and make hiim depre22ed.
M0u2e P.II f0r hiire 0r T0m0dachii Liife f0r the next 2tream?
Alriight, but y0u (y0ur miiii) better n0t fall iin l0ve wiith my ance2tw0r 0r 20methiing.
i think you have more control over that than i do bro that being said, sign me up for hot captor dilf
The be2t way tw0 play thii2 game ii2 tw0 alway2 2ay ye2 tw0 everythiing the Miiii’2 feel. Make2 iit m0re 0f a challenge. That beiing 2aiid, y0u kn0w that P2iiii0niiiic ii2 ju2t a gr0wn up ver2ii0n 0f Miituna riight ?
fuck nevermind if that mii even looks at daddy captor you put him down strife his ass till he gets panic attacks even thinking about that guys charmingly aged chiseled face
IIt’2 0kay II’m n0t g0nna bully Miiii Dave but he wiill be 2eeiing a l0t 0f me l0l.
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so should i just start calling you fucking step dad now is this what my life has come to this is not the family baby dave dreamed about but i guess its the one im getting
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maybe you should be the step dad that leaves to get milk and never comes back
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im going to find a way to destroy every timeline where my bro and mituna hook up this is not a threat its a promise
C0m3 0n˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚
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