C. A. Carmine
@calicoGrievance
Just a troll that writes romance novels for shitty humans. Editor recommended that I join. He/him.
i will call my main wizard pair for the novel idore and elvinorim.
i suppose i can write a story of wizard romance.
the ones with the long beards?
my ‘halloween’ costume is in the works for a thing i’ve been invited to and while i will not been sharing any details. it is coming along.
never fucking mind.
⚇ Who give a shit ⚇
‘we all know that the minions movie is peak cinema, but what are your thoughts on it’ you’re really asking me what i think about the minions movie @turntechgiveshead ? calling it peak cinema actually makes me wish that i could cry for you but my sense of disgust is getting in the way, pity. i’m going to send you a file with actual good cinema. feast your ganderbulbs on them and come back when you have a sense of true peak cinema. do not do this again or i will personally convert your rear wing into a commemorative collarbones-crushing device in the #violence type of way. i do however mildly find the fact that you exposed your trolltag impressive especially when the question is as fucking awful. oh and i didn’t watch it.
i'll watch one of urs if you watch minions this is non-negotiable
i expect a thorough review tell me all about the symbolism and themes what was the creator trying to convey with those little yellow assholes
i finally found the movie that i’ve been looking for, for actual months. like a physical copy. i should watch it with someone.
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‘ have any romance film recommendations?’ thanks for being a big fan or something, whatever. it’s warming that someone is actually making proper use of their glance nuggets for something other than doom scrolling. also here. [ c. a. carmine has linked a rather large and extensive list of romance films that cover years, topics and popularity. they have been ordered from ones he likes the most on the top probably because otherwise there is not order. there are notes under every recommendation.]
i’m obliged to share this.
is it that fucking obvious?
i agreed to personally train some dude at work as a favour, it has already become my biggest regret. he never shuts up.
just don’t expect anything so soon, my other job is time consuming and i have a partner who i’m not gonna ignore to sit on chittr dot ing.
whos the lucky partner
yeah aight sure
not a big fan of how you worded that strider, it’s true. here i looked up the definition for you “anonymity[a] describes situations in which the acting person's identity is unknown. ” because i’m that thoughtful.
so thoughtful of you man so thoughtful
anyway i might write something for chittr despite having all this iron on the fire… i might have time to show off how much more i know than everyone here about the complex topic of quadrants in romance novels. you are all newly hatched grubs in comparison and you will be left fucking weeping.
‘romance on set or penpal enermy?’ okay i’m not calling you that nepeta. romance on set is literally the worst thing ever, my ganderbulbs would rather watch cynolatry. have you tried viewing a movie were two actors hate each other and when they have to kiss its fucking insufferable. they are trying to eat each others faces off, their digestion bladders will not be so easily satisfied. penpal enemy has potential as long as the people behind it have anything going on in their think pan. it’s so hard to get a good kismesissitude. they don’t know how to write it at all. it’s like i might actually wither away and die over their piteous attempts at pitch bonds. so i guess i’ll go either way penpal enemies because it’s the only choice.
‘how do you get over. someone who doesn’t and can’t love you back.’ well my anonymous asker (i’m not calling you my friend, that’s fucking cringe), it will unfortunately take time or never happen at all. you need to go outside, ‘touch grass’ as they say. pick up a hobby, meet people or if you don’t want to meet anyone new just hang out with friends. it fucking sucks, it really does but sitting around but sitting around sulking in pitiful emotions that go right up to your ganderbulbs isn’t helping either. get off your fucking ass and go do something. heal or whatever.
‘what do i do if someone i know has a secret identity on the internet and i know about it?’ i think this has a pretty obvious response, it’s almost sad how much of my time i have to waste responding to it. you don’t say anything obviously, it’s not your life. also i know who this is ‘not telling’ my fucking ass.
i’ve actually been working on a slowburn angst romance novel, it’s about two knights obviously and it’s pretty much writing itself.
i’m gonna be so gentle about this post, stop letting ‘health’ influencers fear monger you into buying their shitty diet pills. they use all the scientific names to scare you into thinking certain foods are bad and untrustworthy but lucky for you they have the solution! no they fucking don’t. they are trying to make money, do your own research. i was literally a personal trainer, so seeing personally these videos existing piss me the fuck off.
i know this is sarcasm and your think pan isn’t that fucking empty.
im just saying man 1500 bucks a month for mystery pills and i dont even have to buy or eat food anymore i can just choke down these tablets the size of my thumb and it will keep me powered through the rest of the day and ill save 300 dollars on groceries yes im good at math why do you ask
being good at math might be your only positive trait/skill at this point.
thank you thats very kind of you i like to think i have at least one positive trait slash skill to my name so this is very encouraging to hear
wait a second
absolutely not you’re not coming and going ‘i only eat those too, yum yum my protein chute loves this shit’, you fucking don’t.
nah just you were a personal trainer huh
it does give me a foot to stand on this type of shit, i don’t just decide to talk about things i don’t know, time to open my ignorance gash and spew random hoofbeast shit about topics i don’t know, wouldn’t that be fun and enjoyable for everyone involved? so i, yeah i’ve been one.
riiiiight right
here i made something absolutely of my fucking free will, you can use it to get my wisdom (and most of you look like you need it.)
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really what everywhere?
oh boy, that gif makes me violent. at least your trolltag is fucking accurate.
people will write to me and say something along the lines of ‘his a ten but he doesn’t watch romance films’ like you’re right his a ten alright - a minus ten. if i can get my partner to watch my films with me then you can too or is he fucking scared that it might make him interesting to speak to?
absolutely fucking not, literally fucking never. we already spend enough time together as is.
i literally write romance novels, i think i know what the fucking i’m blabbering about. quadrants are my bread and butter so sit the fuck down mituna. i’m not doing that stupid vague post shit.
yes fight him
unlike that imbecile i actually having something going on in my think pan, strider and im well beyond griefing to prove a point, mostly because im fucking right anyway.
real shit c a carmine