Dove Strider
@turntechGodhead
d strider on the comeup dm for collabs profile art by piccasa on tumblr.
pussy so bald that shit started wearing a snapback #bars #nsfw
root beer is the most mr president ass beverage ever it straight up tastes like the vibe of the oval office
three fingers in her box got me acting like a caniac #bars #nsfw
y'know if i was a bacteria i would be missing the hell outta her microbiome #vaguepostingiguess
lowkey what were they putting in those chicken sandwiches at burger king shit felt like biting into a motherfucking water balloon of mayo with how loaded up with sauce those bitches were. did the employees just not give a fuck and just close their eyes and spray the chicken with enough sauce to make the messiah proud? shiiiit dog id probably feel the same way seven hours into a ten hour shift at bk that would be a real fucked up life to live. still though that was way too much fuckin sauce for one hungry mouth to handle. i dunno man shit was like the wild west of sauce out there. crazy shit.
god im really fucking with this apple right now this shit is so crunchy and juicy with a perfect blend of tartness and sweetness. shit is so cash. #breakfast #fruitposting
smoked some slime with sollux and i havent been able to bend my toes for the past three days #substance #ibeenwaddlinglikepingu #thisshitsucks
i cant prove it but fuckin every time i take a nap the piss gnomes go around my crib and change all my apple juice to piss. im going to freak the fuck out if this keeps happening dog something bad is going to happen if i wake up to apple juice to piss transmogrification one more goddamn time.
yknow im glad we dont got mcdonalds anymore they used to be making those nuggets out of dog surgery and roadkill
i dont wanna get into it directly bc some of the worst shit is still fresh for me but heres this wikipedia article https://fallout.fandom.com/wiki/List_of_known_Vaults ((ooc. pretend this is a wikipedia article i guess. also tw for like. violence and substances and mental health stuff))
holy shit they really made that one vvault vvote just to see if they wwould do it?? thats so fucked earth really wwas an evvil place and america seemed like a unique evvil and blight upon the wworld
the big man on campus is a woman, hate to break to ya. also she likes chicks.
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Uh. Get it. Yass queen. You are so slay.
so like i gotta say. im not a big fan of the dick vein on snickers. dont get me wrong now i dont play about a good snickers bar yknow like you best be knowing that shit satisfies especially after a long day. like you know they know that snickers really satisfies and you just gotta be like 'hah! you sly rascal.' but the dick vein bro. i dont wanna think of chomping down on some dismembered chocolate cock of christmas past while im getting to the center of this caramel peanuts and nougat. why would i want to be biting down on a cock anyways id be wanting to do some sweet oral acrobatics on it if it was a lover, which snickers definitely could be if it didn't have this goddamn dickvein. like sure its from how they make it or whatever but i feel like we're in a post dick vein society at this point. sufficiently advanced to do away with the nuts and the buts of leaving behind a nasty looking ridge of chocolate that can only be described as a vein running down the length of what is otherwise a perfect satisfying delicious treat man. i dunno bro. i think we can move on from the snickers dick vein to greener dick veinless pastures. who agrees.
... i had literally never seen it as a dick vein. thanks for that i fucking guess! 8T
man i miss snickers. dick vein or not, that shit was tasty
mad tasty. even if its got some veinage its still a bomb ass candy bar. praying for the day you can get back in on that deliciousness.
dont think that day will come unless we get some kind of like willy wonka jesus moment here but thanks