THE HELPSMAN
@tyndaridaesAlleviation
need a job done? liiterally ANY job? contact help2man 2upport and ii'll be riight over!! contact me at: http2://www.beforu2bettermentiin2tiitute.cull/help //pfp: higgshalla on tumblr
xXxXxXx Dx: BRXKX MY FXCKXNG GRXSPHXNGX. xXxXxXx - xx #THXSXSMXLXSTRXSXRT. - xx
do you need 2omeone to come unwax the floor2? #lookiingforanewjob
🦴「If I held applicati0ns t0 have y0ur shrunken skull hung 0n 0ne 0f my h0rns after y0u die, w0uld any0ne be interested?」💀
nothiing would make me happiier than knowiing my body ii2 2tiill u2eful even after ii'm gone. #ye2plea2e
the dark 2ea2on ha2 only ju2t begun and ii already can't waiit for iit to 2tart 2nowiing. ii get to work overtiime at the power plant helpiing troll2 heat theiir home2 for the wiinter! #2omuchovertiime #overandoverandover #thehelp2log
ye2, very. too warm, 2ome miight 2ay. but not me! ii love my job.
8=l < Something I notice about Captors 8=l < Specifically Mitunas 8=l < They are terrible at keeping their tongues in their mouths 8=) < This isn't a complaint I asshire you just an observation
...ii feel liike ii 2hould be offended by thii2 but ii can't dii2agree!
8=l < Are you a Mituna
nope, but ii am a captor. the tongue 2tiickiing out gene ii2 2trong, e2peciially when ii'm iin a good mood. whiich ii2 alway2!
☠️「私、百合も好きなのよ！」🦴 ☠️「......まあ、ダジャレのつもりではなかったわ。」🦴
iit'2 cool how diiver2e your iintere2t2 are.
po22e22iivene22 ii2 awe2ome, but you know what el2e ii2 awe2ome? #po22e22iing a #job. joiin the help2men today! #thehelp2log
thiing2 only a joble22 troll would 2ay. try fiilliing out a job appliicatiion, iit'2 fun!
hahah, yeah. #iivebeenthere
hey, ii never 2aiid ii wa2n't enthu2iia2tiic about iit!! ii love beiing a help2man through and through. but 2omethiing you love can al2o make you want to throw your2elf off the neare2t tall ledge 2ometiime2, you know? everyone feel2 that way 2ometiime2!
2ure they do!
ok! let'2 2top talkiing about thii2 before ii get iin trouble.
pre-order2 for next 2weep'2 HELP2MAN CALENDAR are fiinally liive! thii2 16-periigee calendar feature2 monthly photography of local help2men hard at work heroiically keepiing the planet up and runniing ju2t for you!! 2upport your local help2force by purcha2iing a calendar toniight. all proceed2 go to the beforan betterment iin2tiitute for the development of beforan iinfra2tructure. vii2iit http2://beforanbettermentiin2tiitute.cull/help/pre-order2 to get one NOW. they 2ell out fa2t apparently, 2o iif you mii22ed out la2t 2weep, now'2 your chance!! #thehelp2log #preorder2 #2elfpromo #2ugge2tiive #2hrug #iitpay2thebiill2
WOOHOO! LOOK1NG GOOD DUDE! WORK HARD AND PLAY HARD! 6UT MO2TLY WORK HARD. 1T2 ALL THAT HELP1NG THAT GET2 YOU A 6OD TA2TY A2 THAT, HEHEHE!
D --> Trotswor% will order one for each block in our building D --> And I will be ordering one for my office
ii'm happy thii2 plea2e2 you, exemplar 2iir! the help2men are very honored to have caught the attentiion of trot2worx. ...ii thiink. ii don't really know what iit ii2 you do, but ii'm 2ure everyone appreciiate2 iit!
almo2t exclu2iively work hard, iin fact! ii can't even remember the la2t tiime ii played. #allworkandnoplaymake2captoraveryu2efulboy
karxshi/death by xverwxrk. - xx
ii wii2h you'd 2top 2ayiing that.
ii wii2h ii diidn't have to go back hiive after my 2hiift end2. do you thiink they'll let me 2leep at the power plant iif ii a2k niicely enough? #thehelp2log
karxshi/burnxut. - xx
don't worry, the empre22 2ay2 help2men are iimmune from 2tre22 related death2 becau2e our job2 don't iinvolve 2tre22! #factcheckedbyrealbeforanpatriiot2
>-8==— uh, although that may be true for some helpsmen that is only beccause they have undergone e+tensive surgery to make it so they no longer are able to e+periencce burnout... >-8==— namely a lobotomy
ii don't need a lobotomy. ii'm handliing the pre22ure2 of my job well!!!!
>-8==— if your supervisor instruccted you to cchecck yourself into a cculling institute, for the good of the ccompany, would you?
nnngnhngnnnye2.
WAS GOING TO CHIT SOMETHING SAD AND PATHETIC BUT THAT WOULD BE SAD AND PATHETIC SO I JUST HAVE TO PRETEND EVERYTHING IS FINE AND NORMAL.
that'2 the 2piiriit!!
ii meet 2o many troll2 who tell me they'd rather kiill them2elf than become a help2man. to that ii alway2 2ay: don't be riidiiculou2!! you'd never be giiven the optiion. #thehelp2log #cw-2uiiciide #keepyourchiinup
of course they wwouldnt after all no self respecting society wwould encourage suicide in its wwork force keep up the good wwork helpsman your peers should look to you for more guidance to keep their chins up high
oh zoologer that really mean2 a lot to me! ii'm 2o happy ii can make 2uch a kiind and benevolent hiighblood 2uch a2 you proud.
oh i do bid you to use caution mister helpsman for your flattery of me and my kind nature is only going to land you one determined and pleasant spot at my side sharin a cup a tea and fawwnin at each others eyes under the moonlight howw you flatter me but i implore you please do not think of me as a highblood but as a friend a friend wwho is a royal prince but still
but zoologer, ii can thiink of no better 2pot to be than be2iide you, perhap2 even 2tiirriing your tea for you iif you would allow me. a2 both a friiend and a member of the tiirele22 workiing ca2te, ii liive to 2erve! #iiliiveto2erve
wwell if you wwish to stir my tea for me then i am certainly not the kind a high blood wwould be so rude as to turn up my nose at such a fine and gentletroll like request but i wwish to aid you in kind so perhaps i can offer you a nice and soothin shoulder rub to ease you into the swweetest a comforts i can only imagine that a vvaliant life a wworkin so wwell has givven you somethin of a rugged physique am i right helpsman my dear
heh well ii don't liike to brag a2 iit'2 unbecomiing of 2omeone iin my 2tatiion, but ye2, hangiing on to the termiinal2 all niight iin order for them to 2iiphon my energy giive2 me *quiite* the arm workout. ii'd appreciiate a 2houlder rub but only iif iit doe2n't hurt your hand2. ii'm told ii'm pretty ten2e.