THE HELPSMAN
@tyndaridaesAlleviation
need a job done? liiterally ANY job? contact help2man 2upport and ii'll be riight over!! contact me at: http2://www.beforu2bettermentiin2tiitute.cull/help //pfp: higgshalla on tumblr
Are YOU a psionically gifted warmblood w)(o's reefcently fallen on )(ard times? No s)(ame in it! We've ALL been t)(ere! It's time for you to stop being unemployed and start being FUN---EMPLOY--ED!!!! W)(y not conc)(sider signing up for )(elpsman duty? As an Imperial )(elpsman, you'll be joining a fast-paced, creatively-inclined environment tailored to suit YOUR unique needs w)(ile also making your -Empire PROUD! INT-ER-EST-ED? Don't be afraid to comment down below or send me a direct message to learn more! I just ADOR---E )(earing from you all!!! )(ttps://cdn.imgc)(est.com/files/5d5fa7df47b7.png
⧃ “Work your ass off. There is no magic pill.”
⧃ Put it back on.
nNhHh(tInG)BuT It's(tInG)So(tInG)HaRd(tInG)To fIgUrE OuT(TiNg)wHiCh(tInG)SiDe iS WhIcH :0[
Incompetency Is A Liability! Do ¥our ₩ork As ¢leanly And ₽recisely As I Ask And ₩e ₩ill Have No Issues! This Is $omething I Have A$K£D FOR From MAN¥ Of My ₩orkers.
I ¢anNOT Believe Anyone ₩ould Be $o Awful At $omething $o £asy.
As far as it côncerns us ma'am, the ônŁy ône whô can teŁŁ us what tô caŁŁ 'em is whôevuh signs ôur paychecks.
Did ₩hoever $igns ¥our ₽aycheck Not Teach ¥ou About Formality? It Is Being ₽olite.
PôŁiteness ain't exactŁy a partuh the jôb descriptiôn. Yôuse seems aŁright thôugh Ms. V&uh. Yôuse seems aŁright.
the dark 2ea2on ha2 only ju2t begun and ii already can't waiit for iit to 2tart 2nowiing. ii get to work overtiime at the power plant helpiing troll2 heat theiir home2 for the wiinter! #2omuchovertiime #overandoverandover #thehelp2log
ye2, very. too warm, 2ome miight 2ay. but not me! ii love my job.
. - xx
--E√ Why do programmers often wear glasses? So they can Sea-sharp.
po22e22iivene22 ii2 awe2ome, but you know what el2e ii2 awe2ome? #po22e22iing a #job. joiin the help2men today! #thehelp2log
thiing2 only a joble22 troll would 2ay. try fiilliing out a job appliicatiion, iit'2 fun!
hahah, yeah. #iivebeenthere
hey, ii never 2aiid ii wa2n't enthu2iia2tiic about iit!! ii love beiing a help2man through and through. but 2omethiing you love can al2o make you want to throw your2elf off the neare2t tall ledge 2ometiime2, you know? everyone feel2 that way 2ometiime2!
2ure they do!
ok! let'2 2top talkiing about thii2 before ii get iin trouble.
pre-order2 for next 2weep'2 HELP2MAN CALENDAR are fiinally liive! thii2 16-periigee calendar feature2 monthly photography of local help2men hard at work heroiically keepiing the planet up and runniing ju2t for you!! 2upport your local help2force by purcha2iing a calendar toniight. all proceed2 go to the beforan betterment iin2tiitute for the development of beforan iinfra2tructure. vii2iit http2://beforanbettermentiin2tiitute.cull/help/pre-order2 to get one NOW. they 2ell out fa2t apparently, 2o iif you mii22ed out la2t 2weep, now'2 your chance!! #thehelp2log #preorder2 #2elfpromo #2ugge2tiive #2hrug #iitpay2thebiill2
WOOHOO! LOOK1NG GOOD DUDE! WORK HARD AND PLAY HARD! 6UT MO2TLY WORK HARD. 1T2 ALL THAT HELP1NG THAT GET2 YOU A 6OD TA2TY A2 THAT, HEHEHE!
@arachnesGxssamer please. - xx
UNZIP THAT GIMP SUIT A LITTLE MORE. SLUT.
D --> Trotswor% will order one for each block in our building D --> And I will be ordering one for my office
Oh! Oh!!!!!!!! Oh yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes! A8solutely. We are getting one. It will increase morale for everyone in the ward! ##)
ii'm happy thii2 plea2e2 you, exemplar 2iir! the help2men are very honored to have caught the attentiion of trot2worx. ...ii thiink. ii don't really know what iit ii2 you do, but ii'm 2ure everyone appreciiate2 iit!
almo2t exclu2iively work hard, iin fact! ii can't even remember the la2t tiime ii played. #allworkandnoplaymake2captoraveryu2efulboy
karxshi/death by xverwxrk. - xx
ii wii2h you'd 2top 2ayiing that.
just taking a preliminary histxry fxr when i inevitably see yxu at wxrk. - xx
ugh. do ii really have to po2t thii2.
...a nur2e can't legally recommend treatment iif you're not her patiient, riight? #thehelp2log #a2kiingforafriiend
there is an "owo" in coworker
the "meow" in homeowner was bad enough
ii wii2h ii diidn't have to go back hiive after my 2hiift end2. do you thiink they'll let me 2leep at the power plant iif ii a2k niicely enough? #thehelp2log
karxshi/burnxut. - xx
don't worry, the empre22 2ay2 help2men are iimmune from 2tre22 related death2 becau2e our job2 don't iinvolve 2tre22! #factcheckedbyrealbeforanpatriiot2
riiiiiiiiiight. x_X @resuscitativeNightingale: #secxndxpinixn? - xx
>-8==— uh, although that may be true for some helpsmen that is only beccause they have undergone e+tensive surgery to make it so they no longer are able to e+periencce burnout... >-8==— namely a lobotomy
xh shit been a minute since we gxt tx dx xne xf thxse. x_X - xx
>-8==— it has been...
ii don't need a lobotomy. ii'm handliing the pre22ure2 of my job well!!!!
>-8==— if your supervisor instruccted you to cchecck yourself into a cculling institute, for the good of the ccompany, would you?
nnngnhngnnnye2.
>-8==— good!! >-8==— for the good of the ccompany you should follow that.
of course they wwouldnt after all no self respecting society wwould encourage suicide in its wwork force keep up the good wwork helpsman your peers should look to you for more guidance to keep their chins up high
ii meet 2o many troll2 who tell me they'd rather kiill them2elf than become a help2man. to that ii alway2 2ay: don't be riidiiculou2!! you'd never be giiven the optiion. #thehelp2log #cw-2uiiciide #keepyourchiinup
but zoologer, ii can thiink of no better 2pot to be than be2iide you, perhap2 even 2tiirriing your tea for you iif you would allow me. a2 both a friiend and a member of the tiirele22 workiing ca2te, ii liive to 2erve! #iiliiveto2erve
ii am 2orry to hear that. would you liike help arrangiing a vii2iit to the mediiculler2?
some people are so envvious
wwell if you wwish to stir my tea for me then i am certainly not the kind a high blood wwould be so rude as to turn up my nose at such a fine and gentletroll like request but i wwish to aid you in kind so perhaps i can offer you a nice and soothin shoulder rub to ease you into the swweetest a comforts i can only imagine that a vvaliant life a wworkin so wwell has givven you somethin of a rugged physique am i right helpsman my dear
i forgivve you
That's good. That sounds llike something I coulld feasiblly spin into amnesty for that truck of medicall suppllies I had stollen. It was bound to a high bllood medicull Center so I hope you do not mind.
of course not i trust that you needed those medicull supplies for injured lowwbloods wwho havve no doubt been injured by your reckless and feckless ideas a rebellion and fightin so called tyranny i wwill simply havve to dig into my coffers and buy them a neww case a medicull supplies i sure do hope that they reach that medicull center but i can rest easy knowwing that i did my part to ensure this wworld is bright and filled wwith lovve and healin
heh well ii don't liike to brag a2 iit'2 unbecomiing of 2omeone iin my 2tatiion, but ye2, hangiing on to the termiinal2 all niight iin order for them to 2iiphon my energy giive2 me *quiite* the arm workout. ii'd appreciiate a 2houlder rub but only iif iit doe2n't hurt your hand2. ii'm told ii'm pretty ten2e.
ii love comiing back to the power plant. every tiime ii reconnect to the griid iit feel2 liike thii2 ii2 what ii wa2 made for!! #thehelp2log #funemployment #rii2eandgriind #zapzap #iiloveiithere
what the fuck.
you'll under2tand once you have a job you love that pay2 ok and make2 your liife feel more fulfiilled!
okay…
throwiing up iin exciitement ii2 normal, riight? #thehelp2log #cw-emeto #iithiinkiit2normal
ii'm 2o EXCIITED to get back to work tomorrow, ii can't 2leep!! my bloodpu2her ju2t keep2 thumpiing iin happiine22. #thehelp2log
>-8==— i posed for a poster on behalf of our upccoming blood drive... >-8==— please give as mucch as you ccan!! >-8==— i will be serviccing those that donate myself haha...
yeah 1’m ask1ng you to do 1t
>-8==— uh?? are you sure sir?
D --> Yyyyyes D --> It is asked of me D --> Thus it will be done
ok good!!! ....not gonna lie it would be worth it regardless hehehe
>-8==— uhm... okay... >-8==— sure, okay... >-8==— the needle is very big...
D --> I assure you D --> I have taken bigger
>-8==— hhh..... 0///0 >-8==— ill prepare the needle
uMM, yES MA'AM!
~S~Ounds g~O~Od tO~ me babe~
IIt's always good to see that blood driifes are stiill iin vashiion. II myselv sadly am unable to donate as II am much too busy these niights, but II do wiish you luck on the efent!
our gloriiou2 2hepherd, iin all of )(er iinfiiniite wii2dom, ha2 offiiciially granted u2 hardworkiing help2men a 2iingle niight off per week for re2t and relaxatiion. ii am 2O GRATEFUL for iit of cour2e but iit feel2 weiird not haviing anythiing to do wiith my2elf toniight. doe2 anyone out there have any iidea2 what ii 2hould do to pa22 the tiime? #thehelp2log #legallymandatedbreak2 #a2kiingtheaudiience #cantwaiittogobacktowork
perhaps you should spend your time praisin the glory of dame benevvolent and the empire instead of on your palmhusk! lil absurd that wwasnt your first instinct ZZ8)
riight!! that'2 a great iidea!! ii don't know where ii would be wiithout our [WONDERFUL] hiighblood over2eer2 keepiing u2 iin liine.
Are YOU a psionically gifted warmblood w)(o's reefcently fallen on )(ard times? No s)(ame in it! We've ALL been t)(ere! It's time for you to stop being unemployed and start being FUN---EMPLOY--ED!!!! W)(y not conc)(sider signing up for )(elpsman duty? As an Imperial )(elpsman, you'll be joining a fast-paced, creatively-inclined environment tailored to suit YOUR unique needs w)(ile also making your -Empire PROUD! INT-ER-EST-ED? Don't be afraid to comment down below or send me a direct message to learn more! I just ADOR---E )(earing from you all!!! )(ttps://cdn.imgc)(est.com/files/5d5fa7df47b7.png
>PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK TELL ME I GET TO BLOW MY LOAD ON THE JOB SIGN ME THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW AND DRAIN ME OF ALL I HAVE
T)(ank you, my most loyal )(elpsman! I'm so glad I can ALWAV-ES count on you for your kind words of support!
Ɏ look baabe the only thing worse thaan being culled would be bein employed Ɏ
Gos)(, it just breaks my bloodpumper to t)(ink of all your )(elping potential going to waste... Per)(aps I'LL )(ave to oversea your assignment perc)(sonally to make sure your talents are being put to good use. I'll be keeping a V-ERY CLOS-E -EY-E ON YOU, Sillence!
ALLWAV-ES!! Though thiis concern iis beneath you please accept my personal apology for collapsiing on the job two days priior!! II accept full responsiibiiliity.
...S)(ore!
Apology accepted!!! Just try not to let it )(appen again, okay? -Every second you spend unconscious is anot)(er second t)(at t)(e power grid underperforms!
Don't II know iit!! Here's hopiing your recruiitiing efforts bear fruiit. Thiis has been a fantastiic usage of my fiive miinute break. Back to work!!