D.
@dStrider
Voted Time's Magazine - "Most Annoying Sex Symbol" [ Post-Scratch Dave ] [ Bisexual Monster ]
okay so the current situation is there is a dave who may or may not be me stuck in a washing machine shut up not in a oh my god step bro way in a genuine i was proving to someone i could fit in one and now i fucked up getting in is one thing, getting out is a different beast
front loader or top loader?
here i am eating my ice cream and watching tv theres something touching my foot what the fuck is touching my foot its a cat in my apartment i dont have a cat
sounds like you got a cat burglar
stealing hearts is a crime
give the cat the chair
[THERE ARE $OME #HITTR U$ER$ I WON'T NAME NAME$ BUT THEY LOOK LIKE THE GAYE$T $TRAIGHT MEN EVER AND IT I$ DI$TRE$$ING]
woah woah woah what do you mean you wont name names drop the digits, spill the tea, tell daddy who hurt you just gimme the gossip
your crimes will have you stoned in the history books
// Yo. There was a flood in the house. Apologies to anyone waiting on a response.
// Thankfully in the basement. So it's fine, just a lot of clean up/making sure mold won't develop/calling people to fix things. ))
dont fall for me we already tried it youre a bad kisser
itll be different this time ive changed i got a piercing from claires
where
that would make it worse
thats for v 23 of you to figure out on our date/marriage warm up
what is with this baddie on baddie crime youve also got like nine piercings in your pfp alone
mister strider with all due respect i dont think anyone should get piercings done at claires
what about a sick tattoo that says "if you cant take me at my worst, you dont deserve me at my best" on my lower back
The demons beckon, their siren call demanding I cease. Or, could be the medication. Its too soon to tell. #substance
hell yeah we got the meds calling demons share it with your boy
Not at all surprised that you can't pick up analgesics on your own. Would you like one dose or two? #Substances #ColdmedicineIsAControlledSubstance
oh im sorry i didnt realize we suddenly had drug addicts who go "no thanks. i have enough drugs" see how stupid that sounds rosey
i think it's time i settle down and find myself a proper husband.
get your bag, king
im sure dudes go wild for the rodeo thing youll have your pick of the pasture if you play up the cowboy angle
the shame of it all id lean into it but ive lived in cali longer than ive lived in texas at this point
bro learn your hollywood history. showbizz was born on the back of westerns. plus like doesnt terentino where a cowboy hat? or maybe spielberg. i forget.
alright cowboy go ride your boyfriend off into the sunset im not looking for a history lesson quite yet hit me up in like a day or two and we can talk shop
who was gonna warn me that the chronic fatigue would be indeed chronic and also fatiguing
those bastard doctors snuck it in there
things you can say about chittr but not your matesprit? i only check it when i am bored #romancehumor #relationshiphumor #chittr #unreality #doomedtimelines
i can fit at least four more in there
it has space for 16000 characters
"you sure you wanna say that?"
im following you
i cant wait to share this with everyone