Brain Ghost Jake
@gargantuanThottie
૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ./づᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊°.~♡︎
God, I just forget how much fun it is to fuck with somebody, there's no greater pleasure then keeping someone confused and guessing, makes the game so much more fun and their reactions real fuckin funny. #vagueposting
Oh so youre like NOT a depressive dungbeetle just an old internet troll 🤗
What.
That...is what the hate react was about right?
Oh, not gonna lie my finger slipped.
Well! This is totally not embarassing in the slightest! Im most definitely not going to cringe at this interaction periodically for the next few days.
Let's talk about subs. Or rather, let's talk about the strawman fallacy of sexual identity because god forbid anyone just enjoy a single fucking thing without erecting a whole personality shrine to it. You've decided that kneeling on a rug for twenty minutes constitutes a dedicated ontology, like the guy in the gimp suit and a flogger discovered a pillar of the human condition. He didn't. He found a hobby. You found a hobby. Congratulations, you've discovered that leisure activities exist, a fact the universe will continue to be spectacularly indifferent to. "But Dirk", I hear you cry around your PetSmart patented chew toy, "kinks are there to allow exploration of the body and mind, to be free of the shackles of modern society, to shed the ego and touch something primal and honest that capitalism stole from us at birth." You get your nipples clamped for ninety seconds and suddenly you need a full post-scene debrief with the emotional production values of a director's commentary track. Bonus features. Deleted scenes. A whole featurette on "the making of my subspace." Nobody asked for the Criterion edition of your feelings. You did a bit. A fun little bit in a warm room with snacks nearby, and where the only ever real threat was if you shat the bed calling a guy twice your age "daddy". Giving up control is only impressive if you had any to begin with. You were always gonna outsource your executive dysfunction. The collar just gave it a font. #nsfw #nsfwe #bdsm #fetish #kink
Looks like someones got a case of the post-nut grumpies (๑>•̀๑) #suggestive
Okay but like... do all striders polish their own doom and gloom THIS hard?? 🤔Like we get it bro youre soooo mysterious and soooo sugoi 😎 and youre positively TURGID with self-owns. Genuine though no shade does jerking off your own big brain in public actually DO anything for you at this point or is this a communal kamikaze affair? 🤷♂️ #vaguepost
What happened to the overhyped bimbo roleplay, bro? Trying to trounce your bro's steeze when you've previously been pawing at your own grundle is just a bad look, kind of like you were designed to be taken completely unseriously. Thottie v thoughtie. Stick to form.
Oh shit on a stick youre right! Let me slip back into something more palatable to you. *ahem* (⊙_⊙) kyaaa!!!! (⌐◥▶◀◤) (¬,¬) ✧٩(ˊωˋ*)و✧ 👉( ˘ ³˘)👈 (⌐◥▶🗡 ◀◤) (¬ ₃ ͡¬)💅
Regardless, I think your entire existence is pretty contrived in a way that's unique to whatever brand of dipshittery your Prime Dirk was on, so. Your opinion matters exceptionally little to me. Tut tut, country mouse. Stop tryin' to play in the big city, you're out of your depths.
@transcendedTherian do something about your splinters broheart theyre getting unruly. One of ems got a major attitude problem and not to shit in your breakfast or anything but its totally giving the main branch a bad name (¬`‸´¬)
Not my problem. You pick the battle, you fight it.
Mkay not to interrupt whatever main character moment youre having but has anyone told you lately how genuinely intimidating your whole vibe is. Your bulging muscles and sweet cum gutters are like WOWZA!!! And given your track record of being terrifyingly competent (like scarily!!!l at everything youd handle it in like four words and never think about it ever again. So when you scrape that brain barrel its really less about tagging in and more 'letting someone THIS good at conflict resolution sit idle feels like a waste of natural resources'. Just saying. Purely out of respect for your talents natch (˶◕⩊◕˶)
8=l < Anonymous a%ed: > What's it like to fuck lava? Is it satisfying? 8=l < Answer: 8=l < Who are you 8=l < What do you want with me 8=l < Free me from this line of questioning being the first thing my inbo% receives 8=l < Every time I open it 8=l < Sigh 8=l < More satisfying than you w001d think 8=l < It is thick and viscous and there is a lot of te%ture 8=l < And it is entertaining at the end when the slurry instantly boils away 8=l < That part can be e%plosive due to the steam presshire under the flow
Never knew this was something i wanted to do until just now!
8=l < Good luck 8=l < My body can not burn 8=l < Heat cannot even harm me
Welllll my grundle is TECHNICALLY incorporeal so i wouldnt be able to stick my jolly roger in any old anthill anyhow. I suppose ill just have to live vicariously through your impressively strong tallywhacker! (๑>•̀๑)
Hm. Only because, based of course on my 5 second attention span limit for scrolling through anyone's feed, your life appears to be genuinely tragic. I's give you a medal but only one Dirk can be granted moderation powers at any given time.
*I'd.
I guess its Chittr's suicide watch hours. So much for good content. #cw-suicide
Shall i then postpone your 4pm guillotine appointment?
Shoutout to whoever's writing this timeline, love the choice to make Judgment Day a browser cache screenshot instead of a mushroom cloud, super efficient use of a budget, five stars.
Forgetting something? Or maybe some ONE???? *dramatic violin sting!*
💥💥🔫 Junior is announcing a new membership opportunity! 💥💥🔫 Join the JOINT ASSEMBLY of KINDRED ENGLISHES today! 💥💥🔫 All you need to boast joinage is a snazzy little badge!
Golly fucking gosh! This is the cats balls in the dogs pajamas! I am sending a beam of a thousand crunchy bytes and a basket of ram chips as thanks ଘ(੭◉ω◉)つー☆
Morning awoo or whatever.
awoooo🐺🐾
Imagine hating on us while were just here like this
<:|
Yikes bro you seem like you could use a face mask! (˶˃𐃷˂˶)
No, you're not "puppyboy" or "catgirl". You're 27 and unemployed. Get a job.
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m e o w
♡૮₍ฅ ᵔ ꈊ ᵔ ฅ₎ა --(woof!)
o w o meow mew
૮ ฅ• ﻌ -ฅ ა arf ! 🦴
w i n k meow meow purr purr mew 🎾
へ ♡ ႔ ႔ ૮ > <) ᠸ^ ^ ⸝⸝ /⁻ ៸| |、˜〵 乀(ˍ, ل ل じしˍ,)⁐̤ᐷ woof grr grr woof?
Holy fuck, please stop encouraging him to debase himself. It's bad enough he's picked *that* as his profile picture.
૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟ ა