Brain Ghost Jake
@gargantuanThottie
૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ./づᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊°.~♡︎
💥💥🔫 Junior is announcing a new membership opportunity! 💥💥🔫 Join the JOINT ASSEMBLY of KINDRED ENGLISHES today! 💥💥🔫 All you need to boast joinage is a snazzy little badge!
Golly fucking gosh! This is the cats balls in the dogs pajamas! I am sending a beam of a thousand crunchy bytes and a basket of ram chips as thanks ଘ(੭◉ω◉)つー☆
Morning awoo or whatever.
awoooo🐺🐾
Imagine hating on us while were just here like this
<:|
Yikes bro you seem like you could use a face mask! (˶˃𐃷˂˶)
No, you're not "puppyboy" or "catgirl". You're 27 and unemployed. Get a job.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣵⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢾⣻⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡀⠀ ⠀⠸⣽⣻⠃⣿⡿⠋⣉⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⡟⠉⡉⢻⣿⡌⣿⣳⡥⠀ ⠀⢜⣳⡟⢸⣿⣷⣄⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣠⣼⣿⣇⢸⢧⢣⠀ ⠀⠨⢳⠇⣸⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⡟⢆⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠀⣾⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⠐⠈⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣀⣼⣷⣭⣛⣯⡝⠿⢿⣛⣋⣤⣤⣀⣉⣛⣻⡿⢟⣵⣟⣯⣶⣿⣄⡀⠀ ⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣶⣶⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣧ ⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⡿
m e o w
♡૮₍ฅ ᵔ ꈊ ᵔ ฅ₎ა --(woof!)
o w o meow mew
૮ ฅ• ﻌ -ฅ ა arf ! 🦴
w i n k meow meow purr purr mew 🎾
へ ♡ ႔ ႔ ૮ > <) ᠸ^ ^ ⸝⸝ /⁻ ៸| |、˜〵 乀(ˍ, ل ل じしˍ,)⁐̤ᐷ woof grr grr woof?
Holy fuck, please stop encouraging him to debase himself. It's bad enough he's picked *that* as his profile picture.
૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟ ა
So relevant to the plot viewership will drop like flies off poisoned shit if you kill me off.
Says the fella whose self insert is larve-stage balding andrew tate but whatever fingers your goat (˶˃𐃷˂˶)
Gurgle.
Gurgle! ✺◟(＾∇＾)◞✺
1 N33D M0R3 C4RG0 5H0R75 4LL 0F M1N3 4R3 5HR3DD1NG
Youre in luck! Ive got cargo shorts out the wazoooo. You just let me know how you feel about britney spears bedazzlement and heart cutouts mmkay? ⠀∧＿∧ （𓂂︲⩊︲𓂂)つ━♡・*。 ⊂ ノ ・゜+. しーＪ °。+ *´¨) .· ´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·'* ♡
8=l < I w001d like to see Moros in the bedazzles and heart cut outs
Oh dear are you illiterate? Thats so :sadface: bonkers :( Not to worry! Ill just scooch a couple options your side of the river and you pick whichever one catches your fancy! ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡
*salutes* yes mr o mighty sir! I am sending them over as we speak!
8=) < Thank you 8=) < And if you call Moros illiterate again, I will relieve you of your eyes
૮₍˶Ó﹏Ò ⑅₎ა
Personally im unexpected item in bagging area.
Its only fitting that id be greenland! ˚₊‧꒰ა´ ꒳ ` ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
Putting ice in orange juice is a war crime. You drink that shit straight from the teat the way mankind intended, no cubes, no dilution, no cowardice. Our ancestors did not crawl out of the primordial ooze, invent agriculture, split the atom, and put a man on the moon just so you could water down a citrus beverage like some kind of pussy bitch. I don't make the rules I just enforce it personally, one Tropicana carton at a time.
Golly babe darling light of my spectral non-existence 𝐌𝐲 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠. I want you to know i am 100000% in your corner on this citrus crusade. That said gosh isnt it just downright SPIFFING that a beverage temperature preference has become like a whole personality arc for you? Most fellows collect stamps or take up fencing but you decided to declare holy war on ice cubes. Capital use of your time brometheus truly inspiring *\ (>o<) /*
Living rent free in my head does not grant free reign to be a little shit about my hydration choices. I got your eviction notice right here on my desk. Just waiting be signed, sealed and delivered.
Mm sure eviction notice im positively shivering in my daisy dukes right now. Ill pencil it in right after you actually follow through on something which is *checks notes* NEVER. Anypoodles we both know your head would prooooooobs roll right off your head again if i actually left so ill just go ahead and keep rearranging your sword collection by colour okay byeeeee ╭─╮ |. .| | 3| ༄♡ └───┘
₍ᐢᐢ₎★ You're just gonna have to figure out my height when you see me in person ;) #Idoliketotopmenbiggerthanmejustlettingyallknow #imprettyflexibletho #nsfw #lotofhornypostingonthedashgotmethinkingaboutit #anywaysifyouwannasnapmynecktoothatscoolto #justthrowingitoutthere #violence
Okay but golly the way you wield a hashtag is straight up sorcery?? Like genuinely a bally masterclass if ive ever seen one ✨ Not to go full swooning damsel but i positively cannot WAIT to see what you cook up next. Anyway consider this my formal shot fired at your aesthetic genius specifically you totally ATE with this oneand a fella just had to say something teehee ᨳ𐔌՞҂ ˕ ֊՞𐦯ᜊ
Speaking of dogs — a fascinating but frankly overrated evolutionary case study, no shade to my resident tenant — I feel obligated, as someone with a functioning prefrontal cortex, to correct the historical record on equine superiority. A thread. Buckle up. This is educational content now. Equus ferus caballus possesses a stay apparatus, a passive ligament-and-tendon locking mechanism in the limbs that permits standing rest with near-zero muscular expenditure, meaning the modern horse achieves thermoregulatory and metabolic efficiency your average terrestrial predator can only dream about. Canis familiaris, by comparison, is running on comparatively primitive quadrupedal architecture. Furthermore — and I cannot stress this enough — horses possess near-panoramic monocular vision, upwards of 350 degrees, owing to laterally placed orbits, which is a peripheral awareness system objectively superior to literally every domesticated mammal currently competing for your affection. You are glazing an organism with a blind spot roughly the size of its own nose and calling it "loyal." Fascinating. Anyway. Let's also discuss VO2 max, because someone has to. The equine cardiovascular system, in tandem with a proportionally massive spleen functioning as an on-demand erythrocyte reservoir, allows for a mid-exertion hematocrit surge unmatched outside of elite endurance mammals. And as you ponder the mythicality of God's finest creation, this is peer-reviewed physiology. I'm sorry your dog cannot autotransfuse itself mid-sprint but that is simply the material reality of the situation. And before anyone in the replies tries the 'but horses aren't even loyal like dogs' angle, allow me to intervene, because that argument is embarrassingly under-researched, and clearly so was birth control in the era you were conceived. Equine social bonding is documented extensively in the ethological literature as a phenomenon involving individual recognition, separation distress vocalizations, and measurable cortisol spikes when a bonded human or herd-mate is removed from proximity. Therefore, a horse that has bonded with you will identify you by gait, voice, and olfactory signature at range, and will, empirically, choose proximity to you over a herd of its own conspecifics in controlled trials. That is a loyalty that survived a cost-benefit analysis against its own evolutionary imperative to stay with the herd for predator defense, and still picked you. So functionally what I'm saying is: a dog is loyal because ten thousand years of selective breeding optimized it to be loyal, practically at gunpoint, evolutionarily speaking. A horse is loyal despite being a prey animal whose every instinct screams "the herd is survival," and it looked at that instinct, ran a full risk assessment, and said "no, actually, I choose you specifically." Ergo; the horse is vastly superior to the dog for all the reasons above. Also, they look insanely fucking cool. #horse
okay but bromeo did you seriously just cite EQUINE HEMATOCRIT SURGES in a chitt about why horses are better than dogs? Like babe sensei. Thats unhinged in the most sugoi way possible my tinker cannot even handle it rn ✨ 10/10 nerd behavior S tier passion no notes ꉂ(˵˃ ᗜ ˂˵)
Also if I must come clean and straight forward, I've always preferred dirty talking over doing actual freak nasty stuff, there's something a bit more gratifying about verbalizing what I want to do to some people, bonus points if it makes them flustered. #nsfw
Oh also, might throw a little praise in the dirty talking if I'm feeling in a good mood. #nsfw
Some people light up like a christmas tree the SECOND somebody drops a decent wordplay joke into a conversation. Its like yikes... get a room with your thesaurus my dude 💚 Some people is me bee tee dubs ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ
Really now? That's rather interesting to know, I'll be sure to keep that in mind for future reference, English.
😉😘💖✨