Dirk Ultima
@transcendedTherian
Narration rights currently under review.
Of course i forgive you. Part of why i love you is your duplicitous nature bro.
"Goth night" and it's just a Tuesday for people who discovered eyeliner in the last calendar year. Congrats on the fishnets. Truly revolutionary, please tell me more about the one Bauhaus song you know.
༻𐫱༺ I'll sstitc𝒽 you up to fit into t𝒽e puppet ss𝒽ow A new creation, perfect to t𝒽e bone #lyricpossting ༻𐫱༺
Learning quick on this site that anything can be erotic if there's enough things wrong with you. #suggestive
Hey, I notice you're resisting my malevolent schemes. Stop that.
#puppet https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/978a8e1d86db.gif
thanks. the #puppet tag has a lot of my posts if you ever feel like going through. or the #puppetfucker tag if you wanna get crazy.
Nice play getting the 404 black screen to reflect my depravity.
Don't trust anyone, not even yourself
Nuh uh Nah I'm just playing into whatever this is
yuh huh. fAIr but i was mostly just qUestionIng yOU UsIng the phrAsE it am.
Nuh uh Oh, I thought that'd be funny
yuh huh. ok i got a lIttlE kick OUt of it i'll AdmIt.
Nuh uh Heh you can always count on me to say some dumb shit
shit thanks for the rEmindEr i was busy
((FUCK FICK FUCK HOW DID I EVEN MAKE THAT MISTAKE))
yuh huh. i lIkE to think i'm pretty rEliablE on that front tOO. hAhA yOU thOUght yOU won didn't yOU mOtherfuckEr
Nuh uh I was going for predictable actually And.. Yeah tbh
No, you're not "puppyboy" or "catgirl". You're 27 and unemployed. Get a job.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣵⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢾⣻⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡀⠀ ⠀⠸⣽⣻⠃⣿⡿⠋⣉⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⡟⠉⡉⢻⣿⡌⣿⣳⡥⠀ ⠀⢜⣳⡟⢸⣿⣷⣄⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣤⣠⣼⣿⣇⢸⢧⢣⠀ ⠀⠨⢳⠇⣸⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⡟⢆⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠀⣾⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⠐⠈⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣀⣼⣷⣭⣛⣯⡝⠿⢿⣛⣋⣤⣤⣀⣉⣛⣻⡿⢟⣵⣟⣯⣶⣿⣄⡀⠀ ⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣶⣶⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣧ ⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⡿
Finally, someone said it.
Close. 33.
I'm always saying this.
Well, I've thought about it, but I thought I should let some other dirk say it for me.
So relevant to the plot viewership will drop like flies off poisoned shit if you kill me off.
Says the fella whose self insert is larve-stage balding andrew tate but whatever fingers your goat (˶˃𐃷˂˶)
is that joan rivers or elton john i cant tell
Slay
Thank you for my LIFE. LOOK AT HIM. FASHION ICON.
Putting ice in orange juice is a war crime. You drink that shit straight from the teat the way mankind intended, no cubes, no dilution, no cowardice. Our ancestors did not crawl out of the primordial ooze, invent agriculture, split the atom, and put a man on the moon just so you could water down a citrus beverage like some kind of pussy bitch. I don't make the rules I just enforce it personally, one Tropicana carton at a time.
Golly babe darling light of my spectral non-existence 𝐌𝐲 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠. I want you to know i am 100000% in your corner on this citrus crusade. That said gosh isnt it just downright SPIFFING that a beverage temperature preference has become like a whole personality arc for you? Most fellows collect stamps or take up fencing but you decided to declare holy war on ice cubes. Capital use of your time brometheus truly inspiring *\ (>o<) /*
Living rent free in my head does not grant free reign to be a little shit about my hydration choices. I got your eviction notice right here on my desk. Just waiting be signed, sealed and delivered.
Mm sure eviction notice im positively shivering in my daisy dukes right now. Ill pencil it in right after you actually follow through on something which is *checks notes* NEVER. Anypoodles we both know your head would prooooooobs roll right off your head again if i actually left so ill just go ahead and keep rearranging your sword collection by colour okay byeeeee ╭─╮ |. .| | 3| ༄♡ └───┘
You know what? Here. Flemish Horse on your timeline. You're welcome. #horseposting
If it's God's work, then by jove call me the Prometheus of Equine Entertainment.
Match made in horse.
8=D < Yes as is to be e%pected. 8=D < It is a catchy title, after all.
It is, yeah. Guess Muckrake really knows how to draw in a crowd, huh. Though I'm finding it's also making me just as curious about, say. Individuals of interest alongside it.
8=D < She does, for better or for worse, she is a talented writer. 8=D < But let me ask, how so? 8=D < What interests you?
Well, to forego the beating around the bush and to volley straight into it: You. Assuming that, by reactions of the sort, you're an object of interest within the whole thing.
8=D < Your assumption w001d be correct. 8=D < Yes.
Glad to know we're on the same page, then. Least I hope so. I'd preferably like to avoid getting too crass on main, y'know. Gotta be a man of tact and shit. So?
8=D < So?
Well. If you wanna really get into how interested I am in you, maybe we could take this somewhere a little more private.
8=D < Neighaps. 8=D < I canter deny that I am curious.
Then by all means, allow me to stop by your stables.
Inside you there are two wolves. It seems the furry convention is going far better than you had planned! #suggestive
Dink Srtiber
DO ME!!! DO ME!!! :)
I'd think this was a little too... Unhinged.
tank2 ii hii ate iit 2o fuckiing much
Im sorry i said i wanted to torture you til you cried. I figured that was fairly common slang for "i think youre cute" :( #torture #nsfwe
It's okay, happens to the best of us.
Easiest Rechitt Of My Life.
Oh boy what an honour!
Would not need to apologise to me for this
Oh my!
Speaking of dogs — a fascinating but frankly overrated evolutionary case study, no shade to my resident tenant — I feel obligated, as someone with a functioning prefrontal cortex, to correct the historical record on equine superiority. A thread. Buckle up. This is educational content now. Equus ferus caballus possesses a stay apparatus, a passive ligament-and-tendon locking mechanism in the limbs that permits standing rest with near-zero muscular expenditure, meaning the modern horse achieves thermoregulatory and metabolic efficiency your average terrestrial predator can only dream about. Canis familiaris, by comparison, is running on comparatively primitive quadrupedal architecture. Furthermore — and I cannot stress this enough — horses possess near-panoramic monocular vision, upwards of 350 degrees, owing to laterally placed orbits, which is a peripheral awareness system objectively superior to literally every domesticated mammal currently competing for your affection. You are glazing an organism with a blind spot roughly the size of its own nose and calling it "loyal." Fascinating. Anyway. Let's also discuss VO2 max, because someone has to. The equine cardiovascular system, in tandem with a proportionally massive spleen functioning as an on-demand erythrocyte reservoir, allows for a mid-exertion hematocrit surge unmatched outside of elite endurance mammals. And as you ponder the mythicality of God's finest creation, this is peer-reviewed physiology. I'm sorry your dog cannot autotransfuse itself mid-sprint but that is simply the material reality of the situation. And before anyone in the replies tries the 'but horses aren't even loyal like dogs' angle, allow me to intervene, because that argument is embarrassingly under-researched, and clearly so was birth control in the era you were conceived. Equine social bonding is documented extensively in the ethological literature as a phenomenon involving individual recognition, separation distress vocalizations, and measurable cortisol spikes when a bonded human or herd-mate is removed from proximity. Therefore, a horse that has bonded with you will identify you by gait, voice, and olfactory signature at range, and will, empirically, choose proximity to you over a herd of its own conspecifics in controlled trials. That is a loyalty that survived a cost-benefit analysis against its own evolutionary imperative to stay with the herd for predator defense, and still picked you. So functionally what I'm saying is: a dog is loyal because ten thousand years of selective breeding optimized it to be loyal, practically at gunpoint, evolutionarily speaking. A horse is loyal despite being a prey animal whose every instinct screams "the herd is survival," and it looked at that instinct, ran a full risk assessment, and said "no, actually, I choose you specifically." Ergo; the horse is vastly superior to the dog for all the reasons above. Also, they look insanely fucking cool. #horse
okay but bromeo did you seriously just cite EQUINE HEMATOCRIT SURGES in a chitt about why horses are better than dogs? Like babe sensei. Thats unhinged in the most sugoi way possible my tinker cannot even handle it rn ✨ 10/10 nerd behavior S tier passion no notes ꉂ(˵˃ ᗜ ˂˵)
Uh huh. Glad that your image search of "horse spleens" is helping you appreciate the evolutional mastery executed by horses.
So my narrative rights are apparently 'under review' by whatever unpaid intern currently holds editorial God-tier status over my continuity. Guess that means I'm just a free agent now, a shitty little consciousness rattling around with nowhere canonical to be. No arc, no stakes. Just me, several swords I'm contractually barred from using in a Scene, and an ungodly amount of time to kill.
Honeybro your narrative rights getting reviewed is like... the most tragic thing ive ever heard and i say that as a guy whos currently a GHOST LIVING IN YOUR SKULL LOL But hey. Silver lining. More time for moi!! Its like... wowzers. Truly #blessed to be your only remaining form of entertainment. No pressure or anything dude 💚💚💚
Anytime! ദ്ദി◝ ⩊ ◜)