The Master
@masterVainglorious
Here come the drums.
Diamonds Droog.
You troll lot would be fun to play around with. Nasty, violent, brutish little things. My kind of species!
<action; statement input; statement: you are going to get yourse|f cu||ed input; statement: if you had been nicer, i wou|d fee| bad for you input; statement: but i don't. />
Oooh, I’m so scared! My hearts are just POUNDING in terror! Wait, wait, no checking again…ah, that’s just me laughing! I’ve been playing cat and mouse with death for a long time, and I’ve got a damn good winning streak.
peace and quiet :)
MY NAME IS CALIBORN AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE. AFTER SOME PRODuCTIVE TALKS WITH PRIME MINISTRANGLER @masterVainglorious HAROLD SAXTON. OF ENGLAND. I AM PLEASED TO ANNOuNCE MY uNCONDITIONALLY SANCTIONED WILLINGNESS. TO LET THIS EXTREMELY STANDuP FLESHY SON OF A BITCH. HANDLE EARTH TAKEOVER. TRuLY ONE OF A KIND. YOuR ENTIRE MISERABLE PLANET OF SMELLY SHIT-FLINGING APES WOuLD BE BETTER OFF IF YOu WERE ALL LIKE HIM. LIKE CARBON COPY IDENTICAL. GENuINELY ONE TO ONE. MASTERFuL RACE TO THE BOTTOM. ONLY TO FIND YOu ARE ALL IMMINENTLY OuTCLASSED. BY THIS SuBTERRANEAN SHOVELER. HE HAS HEART ENOuGH FOR TWO. AND BEATS WITH THE WAR DRuM OF A TRuE BLuE SON OF A BITCH. YOuR COuNTRIES ARE SICK. YOuR COuNTRIES NEED HEALING. BuT WHAT I IMAGINE. MORE THAN ANYTHING. RIGHT NOW. WHAT YOuR COuNTRIES REALLY NEED. IS A NEW MASTER. AND SINCE I AM TOO BuSY TO BE ASSED. THIS GuY.
Never actually said a word to you, and I’m already in the middle of a lovely first year as Master of Earth, but well, who would I be to turn down such a lovely endorsement from a. Weird, ugly little skull man. Prime Ministrangler’s a good one, isn’t it? Let me go strangle Jack, use it on him, see how it feels. ((#violence))
WE SPOKE OuT OF CHRONOLOGY. YOu WERE ACTuALLY A FRAIL NINNY. OF WOMALY CONSTITuTION. SOME HISSY FIT THROWING MISSY. I DIDN’T REALLY GET IT. SOMETHING. TIMEY. WORMY. DIDN’T REALLY LISTEN WHEN THE WOMAN STARTED SPEAKING. BuT SHE MADE A COMPELLING ARGuMENT IN YOuR ELONGATED MONKEY EARED FAVOR. A FIRST FOR A WOMAN. REVEALED TO ME SOME VERY PROSPEROuS CAMPAIGN PROMISES I HOPE YOu INTEND TO MAKE GOOD ON. MR. HALE.
Ugh, really? My future is girl? Right after I just got done being stuck as a human too. Can’t win with these timelines!
Mr. Hale, on behalf of President Trollbama and the entire administration I would like to extend towards you an invitation for diplomatic cooperation, as an alternative to whatever Mr. Born is willing to offer you.
Saxton, I meant Saxton.
So, let’s kill this “Hale” and “Saxton” thing now, not my name. But sure, that sounds like fun! We can “cooperate”. And do it “diplomatically”. Pretend I’m using my fingers there.
I apologize, I have a crippling case of the Monday blues. Rest assured, I take my duties as professionally as possible, which can be vouched by everyone in the administration and our constituents. Let me be very clear, sir. Mr. Born is nothing short of a threat to all existence, and giving him any more power than he already has will inequivocally spell doom for everyone. Every. Single. One.
Don't fall for his siren's song, Sir. Please, let's have a meeting sometime soon with our respective cabinets and liaisons, so that we may explain to you the kind of threat this entity poses to the fabric of the universe itself.
https://tenor.com/view/doctor-who-the-shadow-proclamation-the-master-i-should-violate-the-shadow-proclamation-i-should-violate-the-geneva-suggestion-gif-27391852
i w0u1d typica11y advize againzt vi01ating pr0c1amati0nz.
Advice considered……aaaand advice DECLINED! Let’s get started on those war crimes!
y0u z-z-z-z0und 1ike a zeadwe11er.
So the way I do resurrecting is by destroying (or stealing) one's Doom. This sort of works, though some people have complained of being "only half-dead".
Amateur. If you aren’t body hopping and stealing life energy, what are you even doing?
if you could be the richest troll/human in the world, what would you do?
If I was ever one of your tiny species, even if I had all the money you could make, I’d toss myself into the nearest star. ((#suicide))
Guys, there's Doctor Who on Chittr now.
What cruel and unusual punishment should I inflict on my interns tomorrow? I'm taking suggestions. #Democracy - MC Oleana
rip t)(eir eyelids off so t)(ey cant blink. makes em look at t)(e screen longer.
w)(o t)(e fuck are you ya englis)( muffin lookin mot)(aglubber
s)(ore. cornball ass name... well, s)(it, a fan's a fan i guess. im t)(e empress. names )(-ER IMP-ERIOUS COND-ESC-ENSION. i like killin. more killin. additional killin. and bakin.
Now THAT is a resume I can appreciate. We should share stories sometime, one conquering alien tyrant to another. Before we fight to death for dominance of the universe, probably.
Well well well. Hello, little people. ‘S’pose I could go on and on about who I am, why I’m here, but…weeeell, why spend all that effort when all you really need to know is: I am The Master. And you will obey me.
it's like a doc scratch. except a different awful!
Are you comparing me to a Doctor? Oooh, I’ll schedule you to die first for that one!
oh! did i strike a nerve? sorry there's just so many wanna be rulers! gosh.
Ooh, ‘wannabe’! That one really stings. ‘Cept it doesn’t, considering I’m the Master of the universe. Self-proclaimed, but I like to think big.
which one? there's a whole bunch of those!
Oh, mine. To start with. Then I’ll pop over to the neighbor, have a cup of tea, wipe out a few civilizations, burn a few galaxies…then, why stop the FUN there? Want me to move yours up the list, sweetheart?