Problem Sleuth
@pulchritudePowerhouse
One of the top Problem Sleuths in the city. Solicitations for my services are numerous in quantity. Compensation; adequate. Taken by @tenebrousGuardian (Banner by arok318 on DA.)
I'm feeling ch★rit★ble. I'll do ★ sm★sh or p★ss ★s well. Go ★he★d. #nsfw
Hit me with your best shot.
Not at all surprising. I have that effect on all the strong and beautiful types. But it's still good to know I still got it. ▂▂⌇
Don't let it get to your he★d. Would be ★ sh★me if your h★t stopped fitting.
There's nothin' wrong with a little bit-a confidence, Prince. It's one-a your own most attractive features, y'know?
Rose and Jade should be comin' 'round the bend soon. Really weird to finally be meetin' two people I constantly see alternate versions of postin' on the dashboard. This alternate timeline bullshit is stupid.
c< yeaH tHe fucK it is, Have fuN, alrigHt? >c
Will do boss. It might be a bit heavy of a meeting, but hopefully the good kind. 'Emotionally cathartic' and allat jazz.
!! jade gets to hang out with rose??? :D youre on old earth right????
Uh...yeah, in a sense. In this circumstance Jade got picked up from her island by my ladyfriend Roxanne to live a normal life and kinda started dating Rose, eventually. I think I got a picture of them saved on this phone here... https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/147178ee4fbf.png
!!! barkbark she looks so happy!!!!!!!!! :D <333333 thank you for showing me this mr sleuth and tell roxanne thank you for saving jade!!! ...um is her dog still in the picture?
Sure thing, but ah...from what Roxanne told me the only reason she was able to get Jade off that island was because their dog kinda just. Vanished. After their copy-a Sburb failed to launch. Might still be out there for all we know. I'll maybe try to ask Jade 'bout it if I get the chance. She'd probably know better.
i dont get it... i just dont get it why would he leave her? galactocentricGarden's bec left her too but i why would i ever leave her like that... :( woof...
...Egh. Listen I'm not expert on the subject, but from the sounds-a things that dog was there to make sure all that game nonsense went smoothly, right? So in a world where the game never gets played maybe they just felt the need to y'know. Step aside. Let 'er have a normal life. Fall in love, meet her friends, go to college, all that kinda jazz. Could say they did it outta love or somethin'. Ya know the sayin'? If ya love someone you haveta let them leave the nest? Could be somethin' like that.
$eriou$7y, You Guy$ Fumb7ed Thi$ One?? I'd Be Fucked Up For Re@7
C'mon man.
But @7$o He7p Me, I @m @ Mou$e In The B@rny@rd Right Now
Oh-oh, here he comes Watch out, boy, he'll chew you up Oh-oh, here he comes He's a man-eater, maaaaan-eaaateeer
Hey I pretend you're taller than me don't mediate that I thought we had a deal here. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/0e31a48220a7.png
[BEGIN MESSAGE] gir1z gir1z. y0u are b0th pretty. [END MESSAGE]
We're doing heights ★g★in? I'm 6'3" so f★r.
Do you trolls count the horns in your height or nah?
★lso he oddly reminds me of Sleuth. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/22f42db4cd24.png
What the fuck did I do something to offend you or something? Did you not like the quiche???
Sleuth he w★s my second f★vorite ch★r★cter! He's su★ve! (★lso the quiche w★s lovely)
I have mixed feelings about being compared to a French-ass lookin' frog but I will differ to your judgement as I dunno even know where they're from. (Also I'm glad I was worried it might be too simple if ya had a refined palette or some such.)
Y'know I think it's a longshot askin' folks here, but I don't suppose anyone's got any potential advice about meeting your lover's two kids for the first time in person, right? I mean I'm a pretty dandy guy, but I dunno if the gals will realize that. Generational gap. Different values. Rap music. Y'know. All that sorta stuff that creates a divide between generations.
Damn, Link. I appreciate the vote-a confidence, even if I feel a bit strange gettin' it from a fellow rip roarin' dame-type such as yourself. Not to imply I'm also a dame-type. But if I was I'd definitely be as rip roarin' as you.
Please, my trusted constituent. Advise me to the best-a your ability.
u can always buy em w food
What do kids in their twenties even like? And they're like them cerebral "Gotta proper education types" that clearly have fancier palettes. Come to think of it I hardly even know the hell Roxy likes, let alone Rose...she's weirdly unwilling to lemme use the kitchen by myself for some reason.
First thing, try to find a interest in common.
Jade likes guns, I know that much. But I dunno if guns are effective ice-breakers here. Well, they ARE. But the not the kinda ice-breaker I'm lookin' for when I usually show someone a gun.
I have found the most important aspect is to be yourself, and to acknowledge their importance over your own. You are not a replacement for a second parent, but can be one if they choose and the relationship continues to grow. It is also important to acknowledge that you understand they are their parent's top priority—not yourself. I have found I have earned some understanding in stating that I would also like to consider them a priority, if that is something they would like me to do as the relationship moves forward. My most important word of advise is, of course, to be yourself. Clearly their parent saw something in you; you merely need to allow them to see it as well. Also, they are probably nervous meeting you as well. First impressions are not everything, but positive ones are certainly helpful. Please let me know if there is any more information you would like from me at this time.
▂▂⌇ The situation's a bit complicated so I dunno if I'm effectively 'replacing' anybody, but there's definitely somethin' to be said about how I've got a professional and personal interest in...everyone's happiness. I guess is a way to put it. Either way, you're right Prez. It's unbecoming of a fella like me to have nerves for somethin' like this. My intentions are pure, I'm a charming guy, and I have a full commitment to the missus. I'm sure a pair-a smart girls like them will be able to get that. Still, thanks. I'll keep in touch in case I need any 'stepdad' advice from the veritable master, ey?
mmmm the safest option would prolly b 2 bring them to a fancy shmancy restaurant!
Damn that's right! Rox would know all 'bout what's big with those high-society intellectual types. Gotta remember this is a joint effort, I'm sure she can feed me on what place is fancy enough to feed us. I knew I could count ya. There's a reason I fell head over heels for one-a your weird alternate timeline selves, even if that feels like a real weird thing to type out loud.
If you discove⁻re⁻d a ne⁻w subatomic particle⁻ this month, what would you name⁻ it? #QOTD
Bullshitium.