Problem Sleuth
@pulchritudePowerhouse
Hard-boiled he/him. One of the top Problem Sleuths in the city. Solicitations for your service are numerous. Compensation; Adequate. Banner by arok318 on DA.
Y'unno it's pretty fun pretending you're a tokusatsu hero against a punching bag. Sometimes I straddle mine and beat it up!
y'know get the feeling this might re∆ch ∆ slightly different t∆rget ∆udience th∆n you me∆nt it to
That's a hell of an image you conjured up in my head that I wouldn't mind seein'.
(Some of you are quite whimsical, and I hate it. Who gave you permission to be happy?)<
Don't need it. I'm a regular hard-boiled rulebreaker.
✐ᝰ I don't want to just use social media for work reasons, but I have no idea how to use it for actual social reasons! ᝰᝰ
(•́⍜•̀)🎪 JUST TALK ABOUT WHAHATEVER BULLSHIT SPARKS YOUR MUTHAHAFUCKING PAN BABY.
✐ᝰ I'm usually just thinking about like HISTORY and stuff, surely I don't want to bore everyone with just history fact after history fact. Right? ᝰᝰ
Listen lady, I didn't know a single troll until I joined this site the other day. There's enraptured audiences like me just waitin' in the wings, ya just gotta find 'em.
Hey Chittr why did that send one hundred thousand times asking for a friend
Dunno. Guess you really like that book. Got too excited. 'Overstimulated' the kids call it.
I just go all kinds of crazy over some Jamaica Kincaid, what can I say? She has some opinions on the nature of gardening/growing things in a post colonial world, and how the meaning of it changes between oppressed and oppressor. Shit is, as the kids say, wicked.
Damn when you put it like that I'm kinda convinced to give 'er a read too. That and Jamaica Kincaid is a hard-boiled as all hell name.
Definitely her most popular/mainstream thing in human media would be her short story/prose poem, Girl, which is basically a streaming of consciousness of how generationally human girls are forced to think and act like the "proper woman" And her essay "A Small Place" further criticizes imperialism + the romanticization of Caribbean countries as the expence of the locals. (She is Antiguan, so most of her works revolve around the way Antigua is treated in the cultural zeitgeist, but that area as a whole has been subjected to awful things by larger powers that forced industrialization on them for a buck). Good reads. :)
Well since it's a quick read I decided to look up Girl. I ain't the type-a fella this kinda story feels gears toward but I think it's pretty interestin'. I ain't sayin' the mother has points, but the pride and empowerment she feels from domestic work makes me think that even if ya ain't supposed to agree with her perspective, you gotta wonder if anyone can fault her in feeling some kinda empowerment from bein' in a role and bein' good at it. Somethin' worth admirin' in how she seems to squeeze some genuine happiness outta the role. But as someone who likes a dame with fire, you know me. Promiscuity isn't exactly telling a full story of a moral compass, and it can mean different things to different people. Forcin' your limited worldview on others, let alone one someone you care for, would only end up pushing them into the other extreme. And it just ain't fair to already be treatin' folk what you expect 'em to be rather than what they are. You could even argue that the mother 'ere is more finding happiness in a form of slavery, even if it may not be the literal kind. My takeaway here from a former arbitrator's perspective is that even in some of these old-style mindsets you can 'prolly still find a nugget of wisdom in them, especially for folk that seem to want the best for ya in their own way. While you should blaze your own path, it don't mean you should resent any of the wisdom or worldviews that disagree with your own but pick the parts that'll work for ya. So yeah, it was definitely somethin' to chew on. Even for a fella like me.
[upon scrolling to this post, the dial up tone plays. it doesnt go away until its finished.]
Who the hell is using the phone in my office? I'm trying to scroll here!
[YOU HATE COMPUTERS YOU HATE COMPUTERS YOU HATE COMPUTERS YOU HATE COMPUTERS YOU HATE COMPUTERS YOU HATE COMPUTERS YOU HATE COMPUTERS YOU HATE COMPUTERS YOU HATE COMPUTERS YOU HATE COMPUTERS YOU HATE COMPUTERS YOU HATE COMPUTERS YOU HATE COMPUTERS YOU HATE COMPUTERS YOU HATE]
[Stream clip (_)ploaded] https://file.garden/adJRc6HbeHbt7Y(_)I/yoga%20throw.png #nsfw
Jesus Christ you're not the only one who's going to be hitting things hard after th
[|87 :: 1 regret to ;nform you all that a w;ld o;nkbeast has gotten ;nto my supply of halluc;nogen;c mushr00ms. As such there w;ll be a delay ;n product;on. The bacon from that th;n ;s gonna be w;ld though #substance #drugdealerproblems
what the shit mushrooms can be hallucinogenic? fucking hit me up once that things cookedfor dinner
Oh now you're eating your damn mushrooms you son of a bitch.
You never know if you're going to get another meal during the day, so ya better make sure breakfast is a meal that'll last ya a whole damn day. https://i.postimg.cc/RZB5pWQ6/Screenshot-2026-04-16-065623.png
>> ¡ am f¡xated on thoડe waff1eડ, ¡ can't 1¡e
Don't you swag your shit at me you little punk! Eat ya damn shrooms!
I'd like to get 'em bigger but any bigger and they don't fit on the plate what with the steak there.
>> you cou1d a1wayડ ડhare a 1¡tt1e b¡t of the waff1eડ (very econom¡ca1 move) and ¡'11 f¡gure out what needડ to be done to get you a b¡gger p1ate, ડ1euth
Yeah nice try but this ain't a charity I paid a pretty penny for these damn waffles and I'm gonna enjoy them.
>> ¡ wou1dn't try to ડcrew you out of your waff1eડ, ¡ prom¡ડe! ¡'d be mak¡ng ડure you have a b¡gger p1ate to put even more on, ડo you'd end up w¡th more than you wou1d have w¡thout ડhar¡ng ¡ juડt want to try a b¡te, ડ1euth ¡'m good for my word, ¡t'd be a mutua11y benef¡c¡a1 arrangement
Listen, but unless you're a tall, dark, and beautiful woman come to seduce me there ain't a thing on this planet that's gonna get this breakfast outta my mitts.
>> who knowડ, ¡f you exp1ore ડmth new you m¡ght f¡nd ડmth even better than women and waff1eડ
Don't be talkin' crazy now. Cuz that's crazy talk you're talkin' right there.
==> Greet old friend. You're shocked to see the face of @heartbreakingButch around this pigsty. Ol' Boxcars seems to have made a few adjustments to their gender since the last time you took a gander, but you know what? Good for her. You're just glad there's somebody *sane* here. You write her a chit to let her know of your presence, and the possibility of linking back up for another heist sometime.
AW FUCK NICE TO SEE A FAMILIAR FACE NOT AS PRETTY AS MINE BUT THATS HARD TO LIVE UP TO. YOU NAME THE TIME AND PLACE, AND ILL BE THERE FOR YA
==> Chat with the first normal person here. You chuckle, and inform Boxcars that it's not easy keeping your mug pretty when you keep eating crowbars to the face. Crowbars... You inform her to keep her ears to the ground. You're gonna take that Huge Bitch down soon, and you'll need all the help you can get.
==> Respond. Sigh. Some things never change, you suppose. Just keep your pulchritudinous pitchwise feelings in your pants on the job, Boxcars. Save it for the warehouse interrogation afterparty.
@pulchritudePowerhouse sleuth sleuth sleuth sleuth sleuth sleuth sleuth sleuth sleuth sleuth sleuth -from the office of ace dick detective agency
{Anybody catches me at the new MMD pre release today I'm not sorry for what you might see. I'm out for blood. That booster box is mine. I can't wait to pull the new etched foils.}
{Hivey if you understood the amount of potential money to be made I think you'd change your tune}
I think I would how much money are we exactly talkin' here because my dipshit partner just blew my emergency funds on money on whores he didn't even end up screwing so I'm very interested right now.
{All the etch foils are sitting at 500 to 600 a piece. This is serious stuff my guy}
Jesus Christ it's days like this where I realize why people become criminals for a reason. My minds eye immediately went to mugging these skinny nerdlingers over these things.
{why do you think everybody comes strifed up hivey. lol}
Good point. It's already a free for all if I make my way there I can take advantage of the chaos if it unfolds in a way that isn't gonna get Redglare tutting at me.