Problem Sleuth
@pulchritudePowerhouse
Hard-boiled he/him. One of the top Problem Sleuths in the city. Solicitations for your service are numerous. Compensation; Adequate. Banner by arok318 on DA.
You never know if you're going to get another meal during the day, so ya better make sure breakfast is a meal that'll last ya a whole damn day. https://i.postimg.cc/RZB5pWQ6/Screenshot-2026-04-16-065623.png
Don't you swag your shit at me you little punk! Eat ya damn shrooms!
I'd like to get 'em bigger but any bigger and they don't fit on the plate what with the steak there.
>> you cou1d a1wayડ ડhare a 1¡tt1e b¡t of the waff1eડ (very econom¡ca1 move) and ¡'11 f¡gure out what needડ to be done to get you a b¡gger p1ate, ડ1euth
Yeah nice try but this ain't a charity I paid a pretty penny for these damn waffles and I'm gonna enjoy them.
>> ¡ wou1dn't try to ડcrew you out of your waff1eડ, ¡ prom¡ડe! ¡'d be mak¡ng ડure you have a b¡gger p1ate to put even more on, ડo you'd end up w¡th more than you wou1d have w¡thout ડhar¡ng ¡ juડt want to try a b¡te, ડ1euth ¡'m good for my word, ¡t'd be a mutua11y benef¡c¡a1 arrangement
Listen, but unless you're a tall, dark, and beautiful woman come to seduce me there ain't a thing on this planet that's gonna get this breakfast outta my mitts.
>> who knowડ, ¡f you exp1ore ડmth new you m¡ght f¡nd ડmth even better than women and waff1eડ
Don't be talkin' crazy now. Cuz that's crazy talk you're talkin' right there.
Saw a real good lookin' troll fella the other day and the fact I'm still thinking about it means I'm 'prolly fucked in the head for life, ain't I? Ain't no goin' back, is there? #vagueposting
fucked in thethroat #thursday -from the office of ace dick detective agency
>> oh ¡'m ડure there'ડ noth¡ng wrong w¡th whatever ventureડ you've got ¡n m¡nd what'ડ the fun of mak¡ng b¡g buckડ ¡f you can't enjoy your t¡me off, r¡ght?
Pre-emptive apologies if Dick harasses any of you. He's a bit tech-illiterate. And social-norms illiterate. And frankly just illiterate, as far as I know.
your number is #1 cos you are tyhe #1 ally i havve in this world -from the office of ace dick detective agency
>> ડay, are ya hungry? how about we go get ડome food ¡n you, my treat. you can te11 me a11 about the w¡1d n¡ght you've had
yes man absolutely lets do it dm me lets go to da dinah and cry into my coffee -from the office of ace dick detective agency
>> D¡d that ga1 teach you how to uડe the DMડ? You ડure you've got a hand1e on ¡t? And, ¡ have ડome good newડ for you, my fr¡end
yrs i can dm i think but maybe not since she stop rpelying to me maybe i send the message wrong -from the office of ace dick detective agency
>> or maybe ડhe juડt 1oડt her pa1mhuડk, y'know? fo1kડ theડe dayડ don't take care of the¡r goodડ the ડame way we ought to
i dont know man the floozys hate me man they are always scheming against me with problem sleuth too he is scheming with his male floozys nobody wants me to be happy man -from the office of ace dick detective agency
>> y'know buddy, ¡ actua11y juડt had a chat w¡th our good man ડ1euth, and he ¡ડ fee1¡ng except¡ona11y char¡tab1e ton¡ght he offered you a ડeat ¡n h¡ડ off¡ce on the n¡ce couch juડt don't go te11¡n' everybody about ¡t bc you don't want peop1e th¡nk¡ng he'ડ ડome k¡nd of ડoft¡e. c'mon, ¡'ve got the keyડ on me r¡ght now, we can ડ¡t and you can te11 me a11 about the 1ad¡eડ
man absolutely bring the twinks i will be there in 5 minutes -from the office of ace dick detective agency
((I'm afraid @aeneasCaldarium might be the funniest motherfucker on this website and it's not even close.))
I think we can legally arrest this guy for what he just made us witness. #dashwatching
4lr34dy on 1t.
I want everyone to know that my previous post on troll horns was, in fact, not at all implying a fetishistic interest of any sort and it was, in fact, and aesthetic one.
If the website is going down in thirty then I'll be able to take this confession to the grave; those horns trolls have really get me acting up a certain kind of way.
Since there's a few other Sleuth's evidently runnin' around, figured I should make it known I'm one of those true blue humans. Changed my picture to accommodate. But don't you worry. Ol' Sleuth loves the dames no matter what planet they called home.
All these chits about booze is making me wonder what folks preferred poison on this site is. Finally brewing up a pals recipe for candy corn hooch and I'm putting money down on it being a new favorite of mine.
If you were a real gentleman, you'd know a proper fella don't kiss and tell. Nice try, but if you wanna learn some pointers from the best you're better off just askin' nicely for some tips.
I said a *conversation,* Sleuth. Or do you equate just speaking with being able to get into a woman's quadrants?
Well who doesn't chat with a lady every now and then? It'd be weird if ya didn't. The fact you think it's some sort of landmark accomplishment is kinda telling.
Reading is also somethin' most people are taught when they're lil tykes, pal. Christ, I can't imagine how sad your childhood was if these are things that are impressive to you.
I'd ask how the hell you did but you've just changed your icon. Didn't realize you were one of those human variants.
I had to clear the air. It's good to know that there's a Sleuth for every occasion though. It'd be an awful waste if you types were without my devil-may-care attitude.
Unfortunately, yes, there are far more of you than the necessary zero.
I gotta feelin' it's gonna be a long night. If anyone's lookin' to bump gums then this Sleuth's gone digital. Anyone with the gift of gab to give can consider my office doors open.
Greetings, Sleuth. There's a couple of you here, and a few of me as well. I was wondering...are you located in Midnight City? Are you a carapacian?
There may be many like me, but I'm the real deal PI. All those other Sleuth's are just imitating. As for my locale? Well the real world's a big wide universe. Wouldn't be fitting of a hard-boiled human such as myself to give any part of it preferential treatment. Even if Midnight City is a definite personal favorite in terms aesthetics...
Ah great. I was havin' too good a time mingling with the locals. Was wondering when the local jackass was gonna show up to ruin it for everybody.
well wonder no more pompous shitbird the local jackass of all jackasses has arrived