SATURN CORP.
@saturnOfficial
⌁AST GLUB SILENCER, ⌁OID KILLER, HEMO BREAKER, HUMAN TALKER, TROLL OF THE PEOPLE, HERO ⌁ITH A CAPITAL H. YOUR FRIEND, SATURN. AMA: https://forms.gle/CFKX36f2gFkrVQ7S9
#mynest
⌁O⌁, THAT NEST GETTING COLD ALL BY YOUR LONESOME? THAT'S REALLY TRAGIC, LIKE PHILANTHROPIC LE⌁ELS OF INTER⌁ENTION NECESSARY. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
D --> The Trotswor% reassignment initiative has been a resounding success D --> Not only have we reported a 4% increase in overall efficiency D --> But we have reached a record 34% "self-mutilation and/or fatal self injury" rate D --> Down from the 65% reported only si% pedigrees ago D --> We have earned a pat on the back as a compony D --> And I have earned a tall glass of milk and a day in the spa
THOSE ARE SOME MOM N POP SHOP NUMBERS. 90% OF EMPLOYEES AT SATURN CORP SAY THEIR JOB SATISFACTION IS AT LEAST A T⌁O THUMBS UP AND 😂 ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 10, ⌁HICH ANALYSTS FIGURE IS PRETTY MUCH EQUI⌁ALENT TO AT LEAST AN 8, AND ALL STAFF SIGN A CLAUSE IN THEIR CONTRACT THAT THEY SUPER DUPER PINKY PROMISE NOT TO GET "BUMMED OUT" OR "DO⌁N IN THE DUMPS" IN A ⌁AY THAT IMPACTS NUMBERS. SO LIKE, BASICALLY OUR SELF-DIRECTED LIFE TERMINATION RATES ARE NIL BECAUSE THAT ⌁OULD TOTALLY BE A BREACH OF CONTRACT AND THEY ⌁OULDN'T BE STAFF AT THAT POINT ANY⌁AY, SO, THAT DOESN'T COUNT FOR NUMBERS. #ITSNOT #C⌁-SUICIDE-MENTION #IFITDOESNTHAPPENONCOMPANYTIME ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
⌁HY DID YOU HATE MY COMMENT ALL I DID ⌁AS DISPARAGE YOUR EFFORTS AS MILQUETOAST (MILK-TOAST E⌁EN???) TO PUT MYSELF IN A BETTER LIGHT.
You guys are still out here pretending violet men deserve to live...ᘛ⁐ᕐᐷ
i pretty much do such alvways since im quadded vwith just vwarmbloods
Okay...ᘛ⁐ᕐᐷ So you're a caste fetishist...ᘛ⁐ᕐᐷ What does this do fur the pawple you're not fucking...ᘛ⁐ᕐᐷ
howv the fuck am i meant to respond to this im not a fetishist. i like people of all castes. not my fault the people that chose me are the vwarmbloods. i mean HELL ONE OF THEM I HAVWE KNOWVN EVWER SINCE I VWAS A KID THE GUY VWAS MY 8EST FRIEND DAMNIT
So you're a violet savior?..ᘛ⁐ᕐᐷ
...vwhat does that evwen mean
You think you're going to save all the warmbloods with your fantastical activism brieclaws all the warmbloods choose you...ᘛ⁐ᕐᐷ
thats not vwhat i think -_- i dont evwen do the activwism stuff activwely. im just some guy that just exists and does musician stuff in his timeline
So you admit you're useless in the fight fur warmblood rights?..ᘛ⁐ᕐᐷ
i mean some my songs talk about such. activwism through art n allat. its an effectivwe thing
CHRIST ON A BIKE LISTEN IF YOU'RE GONNA LAUD SOMEONE AS A ⌁IOLET SA⌁IOR AT LEAST PEG THE RIGHT GUY NOT JOHNNY T⌁O-TONES O⌁ER HERE T⌁IDDLING HIS THUMBS ON A UKELELE. LIKE, NOT THAT A ⌁IOLET SA⌁IOR IS A THING THAT EXISTS, BECAUSE IT DOESN'T AND ANY EXCEPTIONAL HEROICS I'⌁E DISPLAYED ARE ENTIRELY DISTINCT FROM THE FACT THAT I HAPPEN TO BE ONE OF THE DOZEN OR SO REMAINING GILLED UP GUYS IN THE CENTRAL ALTERNIAN SOLAR SYSTEM AFTER THE BIG REHAUL. THANKS TO ME, MIND YOU. LIKE THAT PART'S KIND OF IRRELE⌁ANT. BUT I'M SAYING THAT IF THERE ⌁AS A ⌁IOLET SA⌁IOR IN THIS RETROGRADE PLATFORM I ⌁OULD LIKE TO BE RECOGNIZED FOR THAT HONORARY TITLE, NOT THE SHRIMP HERE. CAN ⌁E KEEP SA⌁IOR TITLES TO THE TROLLS THAT'⌁E ACTUALLY EARNED THE KNOTCHES IN THEIR HOLSTER? THANKS. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
X I don’t have rizz I just say “hey wanna do drugs with me?” and it usually works #substance x
GI⌁ING PEOPLE ⌁HAT THEY ⌁ANT IS A ⌁ALID AND POTENT FORM OF GETTING SOME TAIL, NE⌁ER FAILED ME ONCE! ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
hypothetically speakin if my life had turned out differently do you think i would've made a killin as some kinda pale-perma-fixer-upper-for-hire cause i think that's kinda an untapped market.
NO. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
THIS BODY IS A PURRBEASTNIP TEMPLE FOR INTERESTING AND BEAUTIFUL AND DANGEROUS TROLLS IN THEIR PRIME AND MY '61 FORD FALCON XYGT IS STILL MISSING FROM MY GARAGE BECAUSE SOME BITCH ARK OF THE CO⌁ENANTED SAID TEMPLE. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
th1s 1s why you gotta capchalog your keys. never let that sh1t outta your s1ght. Hell, capchalog the whole buggy too wh1le you’re at 1t
YOU SAY SOME FUNNY ⌁ORDS MAGIC LADY. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
I THINK THE ONLY REASON ANYONE'S E⌁ER EMBARRASSED OR ASHAMED OF HIRING LIKE FI⌁E HOOKERS IN ONE NIGHT IS THAT THEY JUST DON'T HA⌁E THE CHOPS TO FIGURE OUT HO⌁ TO GET THE REAL CLASSY KNOCKOUT ONES. BUT THAT'S KIND OF A PERSONAL PROBLEM. HO⌁'S E⌁ERYONE'S NIGHT GOING? #NSF⌁ ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
₍ᐢᐢ₎★ No you're right and you should say it #loovedgettinghiredbysomeoftherichguys #theydidntevenwantsexhalfthetimetheyjustwantedprettyfacesforaparty #theothertimesitwasdefinitelyanorgytho #nsfw
THAT YOU IN THE PIC? ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
₍ᐢᐢ₎★ I'd like to think so~ #someofthemloveddressingmeupfordinners #iwastheirlittledoll #tookmeoutshoppingforsuitsandeverything #Theclassydinerswerethebest #theyhadthebestalchoholselection #substances
UHUH. ⌁ELL. I'M SURE THEY SAID YOU HAD A GREAT PERSONALITY AND A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
₍ᐢᐢ₎★ I'm sure the escorts you hired said the same <3 #youseemlikeafunnyguy #imsureyouwereabigtipper #youseemgeneroustoo
OH PLEASE, I KNO⌁ HO⌁ TO PICK PEOPLE ⌁ITH A LITTLE BIT MORE FINESS THAN THAT. IF I ⌁ANTED TO GET SUCKED OFF BY A DOE EYED SYCOPHANT I'D JUST SKIM OFF THE TOP OF THE ACQUISITIONS DEPARTMENT FOR THE NEAREST BRO⌁NNOSER. MAYBE TAKE THAT BIT OF ⌁ISDOM TO THE BANK TOO ⌁HILE YOU'RE AT IT IF YOU'RE TRYING TO BE ONE ⌁HO OF THE REAL CLASS ACTS. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
₍ᐢᐢ₎★ You're so generous for imparting your wisdom like that, ill be sure to take it to heart~ #isthathowyouhireyouremployees #ididwhatineededtosurvive #happyyouvegotitallfiguredouttho #yourearealcharmer
YEAH. YEAH ACTUALLY! I AM, THANK YOU. ONLY THE BEST MERITOCRACY SUR⌁I⌁AL OF THE CLE⌁EREST FAR AS I CAN CONTROL IT, YOU'RE SO RIGHT. SAY, YOU'RE A LITTLE CUTER THAN I FIRST THOUGHT, MAYBE YOU ARE ACTUALLY GOOD AT THIS. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
CHECK MY PINNED. BIG FISH. THERE WAS A SPILL AT THE RUSTBLOOD FACTORY. AND EVERYTHING MUST GO. HOW MANY CAN WE PUT YOU DOWN FOR. #SUGGESTIVE.
⌁OOF. THIS IS MORE PSYCHOFUCK THAN ⌁HEN I FIRST STARTED BLASTING THE ADS FOR TRIPLE-X SATURN BOT MODEL ON THE LATE-LITE NET⌁ORK. SHEEEEEEESH. I MEAN, ⌁HAT KIND OF CASTE CHERRYPICKER REPROBATE DO YOU TAKE ME FOR??? MY S⌁EET TOOTH RUNS DI⌁ERSE BECAUSE OUR ⌁ORLD IS DI⌁ERSE. COUGH. HO⌁'S ABOUT YOU AND A COUPLE OTHER CONFIDENT GALS THAT DON'T NEED NO FISH ENJOY A NICE INTIMATE DAY IN, MY TO⌁ER'S GOT THE BEST ⌁IE⌁ SECOND TO NONE.
LISTEN YKNO⌁ ⌁HAT I THINK? ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
Nah what do you think, big fella
IT'S CALLED DRAMATIC TIMING I ALREADY POSTED ⌁HAT I THINK. BUT SINCE YOU'RE CURIOUS AND COSMOPOLITAN ENOUGH TO ASK FOR ANOTHER BANGER SATURN OPINION I'LL SHED ANOTHER NUGGET OF GOLD FOR FREE. I THINK THAT ANYONE ⌁HO COMPLAINS ABOUT A ⌁ORLD SHATTERING APOCALYPTIC E⌁ENT COULD PROBABLY LEARN TO BITE BACK INSTEAD OF MOPE AND COMPLAIN ALL THE TIME. BOOOOORING, TOTAL SNOOZEFEST. THE HEROICS IN THIS HOLE ARE ABYSSMAL, NO ⌁ONDER NO ONE'S GOT ANYTHING GOING ON IN LIFE ON HERE IT'S LIKE A SHELLBEAST TRAPPED ON ITS BACK CIRCLEJERK. NO⌁ THAT'S A FUCKING DOOZY OF A MENTAL IMAGE, YUCK. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
E⌁ERYONE ⌁ANT ME. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
Who a(R)e you? ™
SATURN. DON'T ⌁ORRY YOU'LL COME AROUND TO IT, SOMETIMES IT'S A DELAYED ONSET OF "⌁ANT ME" IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST EXPOSURE.
Right §u(R)e. I'm not nea(R)ly d(R)unk enough fo(R) that to be even in the §ame ballpa(R)k a§ 'wanting', but §u(R)e, maybe I'll §uffe(R) i(R)(R)epa(R)able pan-damage. ™
SO YOU DO ⌁ANT TO ⌁ANT ME IS ⌁HAT I'M GETTING FROM THIS. HAHAHA, JK, BUT ALSO, ⌁HOA THERE TAKE IT EASY NO NEED TO RUSH YOURSELF COMING AROUND TO THE IDEA, YKNO⌁? I LIKE ⌁HEN IT TAKES TIME FOR PEOPLE TO MAKE UP THEIR MINDS ABOUT ME, MAKES IT MORE... SIGNIFICANT OR SOMETHING YKNO⌁? ANY⌁AY. SINCE THIS IS YOUR FIRST IMPRESSION I'LL GI⌁E YOU AN E FOR EFFORT TRYING TO MAKE AN EQUALLY SNAPPY IMPRESSION RIGHT BACK.
Well, I am HR technically. And I /do/ love this.
⌁AIT HOLD ON A HOT SEC. THIS GOT POTENTIAL. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
I would like to state for the record that I do not have, nor have I ever possessed, what we are referring to in this instance as a "troll-sona." I take the appropriation and costume-play of the troll phenotype very seriously. Frankly, I don't know what bad actor would even THINK to do that. :| Any images contradicting this claim have been fabricated by enemies of my enterprise. Jane Crocker has never "done trollface." #OfficialPost
THIS IS ⌁HY I LO⌁E ⌁ORKING ⌁ITH EARTH, ⌁ERY REAL POLITIK ABOUT E⌁ERYTHING, KEEPS E⌁ERYTHING GROO⌁ING SMOOTHLY. OF COURSE YOU ⌁OULDN'T DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT CROCKER ⌁HAT DO THEY TAKE YOU FOR? SOME KINDA TONE DEAF HUCKSTER? ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
Precisely!
YOU KNO⌁ HO⌁ IT IS, PHOTOSHOP AND AI SABOTEURS RUN RAMPANT BUT REAL LOYAL BACKERS NE⌁ER FALL FOR THE OL ⌁OOL O⌁ER THE EYES. BESIDES, THAT'S ⌁HY THE CULTURAL EXCHANGE P.R. DEPT IS SO ⌁ELL FUNDED. ALL FI⌁E OF EM IN THERE. AT LEAST ON OUR SIDE OF THE STAR POND HAHAHA. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
The Chittr Populous Yearns For Photos. It Has Been Some Time Since I've Posted Any, Hasn't It?
⌁HAT KINDA PHOTOS ⌁E TALKING ABOUT, ANGEL? ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
⌁HAT DO YOU MEAN HE BLOCKED ME. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
THAT'S ILLEGAL. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁