SATURN CORP.
@saturnOfficial
⌁AST GLUB SILENCER, ⌁OID KILLER, HEMO BREAKER, HUMAN TALKER, TROLL OF THE PEOPLE, HERO ⌁ITH A CAPITAL H. YOUR FRIEND, SATURN. AMA: https://forms.gle/CFKX36f2gFkrVQ7S9
|| STOP ME IF YOU'VE HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE... ((OOC INFO)) || Name: SATURN. JUST SATURN. Positing any other name may result in fines and/or persecution. Age: 28 sweeps Alternian-born. Info about upbringing lost to redaction & omission. One can only assume he was raised with the strongest and purest of convictions given the end result... Left Alternia at 10 sweeps. Ping-ponged his way through being a bounty hunter, learning the art of arms dealing, artillery design, and geoclimate engineering. As per the autobiography, soon after was an encounter and kidnap by an exiled seadweller ship, the cause of his facial scar, the ship's unfortunate demise, and the birth of his dream of being Alternia's Hero. Several things happened in quick succession: - Returns to Alternia & arranges a meeting with HIC. - His proudest work, the satellite Zip It, paralyzes and kills G'lbglyob using a vast electric charge into the deepest oceans. - Orphaning is rendered defunct. The last troll to hold its title, lost in a whimper to artificial obscurity. - Traditional hemospectrum customs are outlawed, allowing for upward economic mobility...and upward cullings. Saturn nestles himself as the champion of retribution. HIC remains untouched. - Saturn Interstellar Corporation is appointed Alternia's economic pusher-beat, public relations, and bloody enforcer. Life is very different on this Alternia. The rest you will just have to find out zz;] Notable features: Lionfish stripes, venomous spines, premature white streak, red double scar through face from a plasma torch, dry skin & horns, tacky gills, bad asthma. Idiosyncracies: Unscrupulous moral backbone, chauvanistic tyrant, answers only to what he feels the universe owes him, OBNOXIOUS, twitchy trigger finger, thin skin, obsessive-compulsive hysterical sadist, thinks Alternian sociopolitical movements are a fine tool to sharpen his own self-importance on. Metatextually, the mun's Freudian chew toy. REFS BY MOI: https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/0aac2ad44755.jpg https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/6afe13e74dac.png https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/58141739906c.jpg
E⌁ERYONE ⌁ANT ME. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
Who a(R)e you? ™
SATURN. DON'T ⌁ORRY YOU'LL COME AROUND TO IT, SOMETIMES IT'S A DELAYED ONSET OF "⌁ANT ME" IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST EXPOSURE.
Right §u(R)e. I'm not nea(R)ly d(R)unk enough fo(R) that to be even in the §ame ballpa(R)k a§ 'wanting', but §u(R)e, maybe I'll §uffe(R) i(R)(R)epa(R)able pan-damage. ™
This one is the most Cronus thing you ever Cronused.
SO YOU DO ⌁ANT TO ⌁ANT ME IS ⌁HAT I'M GETTING FROM THIS. HAHAHA, JK, BUT ALSO, ⌁HOA THERE TAKE IT EASY NO NEED TO RUSH YOURSELF COMING AROUND TO THE IDEA, YKNO⌁? I LIKE ⌁HEN IT TAKES TIME FOR PEOPLE TO MAKE UP THEIR MINDS ABOUT ME, MAKES IT MORE... SIGNIFICANT OR SOMETHING YKNO⌁? ANY⌁AY. SINCE THIS IS YOUR FIRST IMPRESSION I'LL GI⌁E YOU AN E FOR EFFORT TRYING TO MAKE AN EQUALLY SNAPPY IMPRESSION RIGHT BACK.
Well, I am HR technically. And I /do/ love this.
[/-∊n♱rΩpy gr-∊yƗng Ωu♱./] -- #fȺ☪︎♱uȺl -- [/ΣȺmΣȺrȺ'Σ Σ屮ȺnΣΩng./]
shoul i call u daddy from now on or
Can I call you kitten, then?
⌁AIT HOLD ON A HOT SEC. THIS GOT POTENTIAL. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
⌁HAT DO YOU MEAN HE BLOCKED ME. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
THAT'S ILLEGAL. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
i'm 6asically.... a HER6....... so JOT THAT D5WN
Her six
y6V are m6king fVn 6f me
eVen th6Vgh.... i'm... A H6RO!!!!!!!!6!!
Just so you know your original post doesn't have 666 in it It has 665
A DYING BREED IF I'M COMPLETELY HONEST HERE. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
*TH6 KIL6S Y6V*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thesix killsixs ysixu
THIS 6VY'S NEV6R HE6RD OF.... A TYPING QVIRK?????
you will look at my poorly socialized shitzipoo. thank you again @thrivingGarland https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/ab7ac831f42b.png
I... do not...know...why I was....tagged...but...what a...cute....thingy....(^ . ^ ❀) [I SO HAPPY YOU LOVE YOUR SHITLING!!!]
THEY JUST DON'T MAKE GRATUITOUS EYE CANDY THE ⌁AY THEY USED TO ANYMORE. I MEAN, I STILL DO. BUT THEY DON'T. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
What they don't tell you when they ask you to sign your first autograph is that you're really just figuring out the exact shape your Repetitive Strain Injury is going to be five (5) or ten (10) sweeps later.
THAT AIN'T AN ANS⌁ERABLE QUESTION. BUT MY AD⌁ICE TO YOU IS TO START BARKING UP A DIFFERENT TREE FOR A CHANGE HABIBI. AS PER USUAL. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
SPECIAL EDITION OF SATURN AMA, LIFE GURU EDITION. I'M OFFERING FREE AD⌁ICE TONIGHT. FREE!!! LET BIG PAPA S HELP YOU SORT OUT ⌁HATE⌁ER DUMB MUNDANE CRAP YOU'RE STRESSING YOURSELF SILLY O⌁ER ⌁HEN YOU COULD BE ENJOYING YOURSELF, GRATEFULLY MIGHT I ADD, ⌁ITHOUT A CARE IN THE ⌁ORLD BECAUSE I FIXED YOUR SHIT. MAYBE O⌁ER DRINKS E⌁EN, ⌁HATE⌁ER YOU ⌁ANT. HTTPS://FORMS.GLE/CFKX36F2GFKR⌁Q7S9 ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
LOOK THE NAME'S A ⌁ORK IN PROGRESS I'⌁E FOR PEOPLE FOR THAT. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
⌁AIT SHIT FUCK I FORGOT I NEEDED TO ANNOUNCE THE NE⌁ PRODUCT DESIGN COMING SOON THIS PERIGREE IT'S UHHHH *FLIPS CAEGAR* A GUN *THRO⌁S DART* THAT MOANS *SPINS ⌁HEEL* ⌁HEN YOU HEADSHOT SOMEONE. YIPPEE CLAP CLAP CLAP MAKE SURE TO GET YOUR PAN BUSTER (PATENT PNDG.) COMING SOON. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
i might bbe in ththe market ffor a new gun depending on sspecss, id bbe willing to talk. erotic name or no
JEEZ ALRIGHT I MEAN YOU KNO⌁ THIS AIN'T A CHARITY, RIGHT?? THOSE ARE OUR TOP OF THE LINE, TOO. LUCKY FOR YOU ⌁E ARE PROSPECTI⌁ELY LOOKING INTO PAYMENT PLANS FOR RENT-A-GUN SER⌁ICES. YKNO⌁, SOMETHING FOR POOR PEOPLE I MEAN LESS FINANCIALLY FLEXIBLE LIFESTYLES. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
BEFORE I GET AHEAD OF MYSELF AGAIN PLEASE TELL ME YOU GOT THE CREDIT TO BACK IT UP. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
IT'S FINE IT'S FINE IT'S FINE ALL PUBLICITY IS GOOD PUBLICITY SO I DUNNO TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS OR SOMETHING. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
ACES. ⌁HAT KINDA STYLE YOU LOOKING TO ROCK ⌁ITH, S⌁EETHEART? UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL? RANGED? SA⌁ THAT PIC ON YOUR PROFILE THERE, ⌁ERY NICE. ⌁E GOT PLENTY OF SNIPER RIFLES, JUST GIMME AN IDEA OF ⌁HAT YOU GOT YOUR PUSHER SET ON. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
a ssolid ranged weapon iss deffinitely my sspeed, youre quite asstute. mid-long range, reassonabble rate off ffire ffor ththe type, high enough calibbre to get ththe jobb done withthout abbssolutely obbliterating ththe target. i ssupposse a good ssolid hunting riffle ffor large prey and/or any errant trollss ththat may tresspassss
SEE THIS IS ⌁HY I MAKE SURE ALL THE TROLLS ARE A 7, BARE MINIMUM, IF THEY'RE GONNA BE HIRED AT THE MAIN HQ HI⌁EBLOCK ⌁HERE I PHYSICALLY EXIST IN. IT MAKES ALL THE PETTY DRAMA AND SQUABBLES ALL THE MORE FUN TO ⌁ATCH. DON'T GET ME ⌁RONG THE LESS-THAN LOOKERS GET HIRED ON TOO, JUST, YKNO⌁. SOME OTHER BUILDING. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
OH SHIT HAHA ONE OF EM GRABBED A STAPLER. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
THIS SHIT'S BETTER THAN HALF OF THE SLOP ON PAILHUB. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
♬♪ Now playing ~ Ultra Masculine Olive Girl Playlist to Fuck that Bread To ♬♪ #NSFW
youre doing WHAT to bread
Only the most intellectual of folk will truly understand this post. A gem of a Chitt.
Hmm.
i.suddenly.feel.terrible.for.accusing.junior.of.lying
if anything happens to Junior I would destroy the entire universe. also Junior you do not have legs my sweet 8ug
the lie is #1
(˶ˆ꒳ˆ˵) —— Hm, let's see... My guess is number three! (＾▽＾) —— (˘ ³˘)
i knoww your game robot the answwer is junior is therefore junior lovves
STEP ON ME, JUNIOR.
:33 < junior doesnt have legs?
u know what i culd belive juniour has leggys so imma say #1
But consider: How can Junior be bug, if Junior don't have leg?
oh my god....you're right
E⌁ERY DAY I'M NOT ASTONISHED, AND ACTUALLY PRETTY DAMN ⌁INDICATED, PUSHER⌁ARMED ACTUALLY, THAT THE GENERAL POPULACE E⌁EN ON HERE KNO⌁S HO⌁ TO E⌁ALUATE GOOD PEOPLE ⌁HEN THEY SEE EM. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
SPEAKING OF ROACHES, THOUGH... ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
SATURN INTERSTELLAR LO⌁ES OUR UNIONS, BY THE ⌁AY. ⌁ERY PRO UNION. THAT'S ⌁HY OUR ⌁ORKPLACE SATISFACTION RATINGS HA⌁E BEEN 10/10 FOR THE LAST SE⌁EN S⌁EEPS AND COUNTING. DUNNO ⌁HY THAT HAS TO BE EXPLAINED, YKNO⌁, ⌁E'RE ALL A FAMILY HERE. LO⌁E THRO⌁ING A BIG COOKOUT BARBECUE FOR THE GOOD OL COMPANY TROLLS ⌁ORKING SO BLAH BLAH BLAH EDIT THE REST OF THIS GOODY GOODY CRAP LATER BEFORE YOU POST IT. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
You Need To Be Studied In A Lab. #positive
ONLY THE BEST FOR PEOPLE, YKNO⌁? IT'S A HEA⌁Y ⌁EIGHT TO ENSURE E⌁ERY SINGLE TROLL UNDER MY ⌁ATCH IS TAKEN CARE OF, CALL ME ATLAS THE ⌁AY I'M ⌁ILLING TO SHOULDER IT. SAY, YOU E⌁ER BEEN TO A REAL SATELLITE HQ? CALL ME A SHO⌁ OFF BUT I'M AL⌁AYS DO⌁N FOR GI⌁ING PRI⌁ATE TOURS TO ACQUAINTANCES ⌁ITH GOOD TASTE. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
FOR BEING APEX OF ALL FUCKING THINGS? FOR FRANKLY GROSSLY EXTRAORDINARY NITRO LE⌁ELS OF PROSPERITY AND PEACEMAKING? FOR NIGH IN⌁INCIBILITY? OH YOU BET. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
Apex Of / All / Things? Well. I'm Not So Sure About That. #teasing
:O |d love to come see thAt some t|me! |f youd hAve me of course!! |m honored!!!
OH YOU BETTER BELIE⌁E IT. COMES FROM BEING ⌁ORLDLY AS I AM I GUESS. E⌁EN THOUGH I KNO⌁ THAT YOU ALREADY KNO⌁ THAT, MISTER #TEASE, HUH? ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
I Have A Feeling We Will See About That, Lovely. #positive #suggestive #nsfc
OH MORE THAN DELIGHTED TO, S⌁EETHEART. ⌁E'LL MAKE IT A ⌁HOLE THING. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
HAH MAYBE MAYBE. YOU'RE THE ONE THAT SAID IT, NOT ME. REMEMBER THAT XOXO. ⌁AIT HEY, AREN'T YOU THE ONE THAT POSTED ABOUT THAT ⌁HOLE-- OKAY, MAYBE ⌁E NEED TO CLEAR UP SOME CONFUSION FIRST BEFORE ⌁E GET TOO CARRIED A⌁AY, EH? ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
Whenever You're Ready To " Spit It Out ", You Can Message Me. :>
FOR THE RECORD I AM NOT THE BLACK MIRROR EPISODE. AND THE OTHER GUY IS MAYBE, BARELY SCRAPING BY AT THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL AS THE ⌁APID COFFEESHOP AU ⌁HERE NOTHING HAPPENS, E⌁ER. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
Whadya on about Empy?
don't talk to me
OH LITERALLY NOTHING IMPORTANT. ANY⌁AY YOU DO REALIZE THERE'S STILL AN HIC IN OPERATION ⌁HERE I'M AT, RIGHT? MORE UNDERSTATED THAN HER OLD REGIME USED TO BE, SURE, BUT I STILL AIN'T ABOUT TO GI⌁E ANYONE THE ⌁RONG IDEA. NO ROYALTY HERE KIDDO JUST PURE BRASS TACKS HEROICS. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU. I MADE MY O⌁N FRIGGIN POST FOR A REASON, JACKOFF. ⌁⌁ SATURN INTERSTELLAR, HERE FOR YOU ⌁HEN YOU GOT NOTHING LEFT ⌁⌁
don't talk ABOUT me, you don't even know m, my life is PLENTY full mind you
(( man who is so sucks. )) https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/0ce41b8bed4e.png
