♣ mediated by @timelessGadabout
xx_IF_U_LIEK_PENIS_COLADAS_xx
ii <3 corndogs but ii hate thiis part *stiicks hands iin oiil to retriieve you* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
of course anytime dude they also all have little articles of clothing it’s awesome
holy mackarel i think that gaslighting shit vantas used to yammer on aboat is reel. i KNOW what these fools horns look like
cool with me then he goes and i dont know where the urethra is walks outside and gets skewered by an icicle and goes no my swedish penis pump enlarged penis just exploded then i kicked his ass down a hill he goes aaaaah curse you strider he probably got my name from peaking at the rideshare app btw smashes through a bunch of guys carrying thick panes of glass his head gets stuck in a billboard of a rhinos ass with the caption what a zoo animal plastered above his bitch ass wowie zowee all kidding aside i think he dine and dashed he was still in there when we left but i dont know what the fuck his plan was for avoiding the debt besides the aforementioned rhinobutt ski theory
just overheard a guy generationally fumble he goes can you pay for these drinks his date goes why hehe are you going through it or something bear in mind her hand was reaching for her purse then he says naw my debit card is just frozen this week because of online gambling she goes ew haha and this motherfucker stands up and goes im not feeling all that respected right now jess pack it in i dont tell you what to do with your money she looked down and didnt look back up for a solid minute he starts talking about how he could put her through college how this puts their future plans in question asking what else shes got an attitude about realize shes got one of those rideshare apps open i work for like six the god lord delivers my phone buzzes jessieeeeee requesting a ride .1 miles from your location hit accept
i really need to after the shit i just saw enough to send a girl into psychosis goddamn
To the tune of We Wish You A Merry Christmas We wish you a Staples Christmas, We wish you a Staples Christmas, We wish you a Staples Christmas, also, they should sell beer. How cool would that be, if Staples sold beer? Just loose ones in a big fridge. I could drink while I shopped. There should be beer at Staples, There should be beer at Staples, There should be beer at Staples 'cause I don't like my kids. Holidays are hard, 'cause my kids are so weird. Staples would be better if I could just have one beer. The kids only want printer ink, The kids only want printer ink, The kids only want printer ink and I'm not so sure why. Oh, give me a beer, to forget how life is. I married a weird woman and the kids turned out strange. They don't like stuff like Hot Wheels, They don't like stuff like Hot Wheels, They don't like stuff like Hot Wheels so it's another Staples Christmas.
⧃ The lack of proper facial hair besides the mustache is still marks off.
it's a really cute look.
takin it on the chin here cuz im bein escorted like hannibal lector to max security rn. being president fucking sucked. i missed my moireel. im naut the boss beach the condesce was. youre free to throe har hars and tomatoes at me but use #meenahcoup still if you gonna to @barackObama theres acshoally literally extra versions of the same desk in the closet down the hall from the oval office. so just grab one of those
bingo also ill be real with you empathy has done fuckall for treatin people the right way or prosocial or whatever
I was nearlly finished with a Haiku, needing onlly to find the right words for the finall lline, onlly to reallize "This is nothing. This is Haiku out of habit and nothing ellse" and promptlly delleted it. Poetry is its own purpose, but I cannot stand writing empty words.