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Dave Egbert

@totallyTurnttables

the knight of breath! movie lover super cool sburb survivor :b he/him ( part of the @tenaciousTimer accounts AU)

Blood: RustKult Score: 381Kull Score: 4169 followers6 following
PINNED CHITT

OOC Dave Egbert intro post!! Dave Egbert, 38, he/him ... maybe, married to Jake Lalonde, and has a son named Neil Harrison Egbert-Lalonde. Dave is currently placed at the beginning of Homestuck: Beyond Canon. This swap AU has the characters swap *places*, but not whole personalities. Dave and Jake are fighting often, but Dave tries to love him, and usually isn't wrong when they fight. In this world, Dirk is dead. He is heartbroken over it, and will struggle to speak to any Dirk that interacts with him. On this account there may be a couple NSFW posts or substance posts, but more often than not, he just posts about normal shit like loving his family or watching movies. Interact with him in any way you want! Go crazy!!!!

my jokes really dont hit it off with people, but im ok with that.

Kult: +27
Kull: +25
Total: 52
Ratio: 1.08

tElL(TiNg)mE A(TiNg)jOkE(TiNg)jOkE(TiNg)jOkE!

Kult: +5
Total: 5

what is a fish with no eye called? fsh.

Kult: +5
Total: 5

fSh(tInG)FsH(TiNg)fSh~! tEeHeEhEe!(TiNg)dO(TiNg)yOu kNoW WhY(TiNg)tHe(tInG)FsH JuMpEd oUt(tInG)ThE WaTeR? hM Hm?

Kult: +5
Total: 5

why?

Kult: +5
Total: 5

bEcAuSe iT CoUlDn't(tInG)SeA~!

Kult: +5
Total: 5

protons have mass? i didnt even know

my brother is a shitty person now. what does ultimate even mean? ultimate asshole? hes such a dick!! i miss him and the dirk i knew is dead!!! the closest i have is this fucking douchebag who isnt even part of my timeline! #vent again.

Kult: +7
Total: 7

this life thing sure isnt what its cracked up to be, hahaha. #vent ??????

Kult: +25
Kull: +25
Total: 50
Ratio: 1.00
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Rainbow Drinker
The spectrum is this user's finest wine list.
demisexual
love yourself
Rainbow Rainbowdrinker
This user doesn't bite, scrape, and lick.
transgender
love yourself
@grimPhotographer[GP]

Things Hardly Ever Are Aren't They...

Kult: +5
Total: 5

youre right. :///

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Rainbow Drinker
The spectrum is this user's finest wine list.
demisexual
love yourself
Rainbow Rainbowdrinker
This user doesn't bite, scrape, and lick.
transgender
love yourself
@grimPhotographer[GP]

Need Anything?

well, you seem cool and stuff! we could be friends or something. alternate universes are sick.

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Rainbow Drinker
The spectrum is this user's finest wine list.
demisexual
love yourself
Rainbow Rainbowdrinker
This user doesn't bite, scrape, and lick.
transgender
love yourself
@grimPhotographer[GP]

I Wouldn't Be Opposed, I Need More Friends Anyways And You Seem Nice Enough

Kult: +5
Total: 5

painting pumpkins with friends and family today.

halloween is around the corner!!! stocking up on candy soon for everyone who comes by

Kult: +10
Kull: +5
Total: 15
Ratio: 2.00
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Verified
A user of established repute
Trolltism
This user is neuro anything but typical.
@peaNut[PN]

⠀

matesprit monday is celebrated with @tippedgardener for me!! <3

Kult: +80
Kull: +77
Total: 157
Ratio: 1.04

ew

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Verified
A user of established repute
Master of Majyyks
This user has dabbled in the mysteries of the arcane.
@tenaciousTimer[TT]

It's alright. I know I'm a lot to handle.

?????? wtf are you rambling about you crude man i have a husband are we not aware of thaf that* the arrangement thats been going on for a WHILE NOW!!!!! WE HAVE A LOVELY SON!!!!!

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Verified
A user of established repute
Master of Majyyks
This user has dabbled in the mysteries of the arcane.
@tenaciousTimer[TT]

I know about your husband and son. Quite frankly, I just don't care. I'd never actually go after you anyway. Your son must hate both of you if this is who's raising him.

how r u gonna jab at me and try to get on my caboose lewdly u r just plain nasty

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Verified
A user of established repute
Master of Majyyks
This user has dabbled in the mysteries of the arcane.
@tenaciousTimer[TT]

You can call me whatever you like. It won't change anything.

guys stop what the hell

not my darn fault somebody cant keep it in his pants if you wanna cry over someone so bad can they not be a fucking douche jesus crackers dear id say good riddance rather than i miss him if i was you

sorry i guess???

just saying jeez

it's a great day to have a great day. or something.

Kult: +49
Kull: +35
Total: 84
Ratio: 1.40
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Flushed One
This user vacillates flushed red.
Crabby Communicator
This user is always in a foul mood. Pay their language no mind.
heart of gold
kind is the bravest thing you can be
first guardian
with infinite power comes infinite responsibility
good dog best friend
the bestest boy ever ever :D
Resurrection Butterfly
For this user, だんまく is a way of life.
FOR THE SAKE OF IT
Pure, simple, blood on the wall, knuckles to face, honest to fuck violence.
@gardeningGirl[GG]

sure is! also, wow, you're a unique fella.

Kult: +7
Total: 7

haha, am i ?

Kult: +5
Total: 5
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Flushed One
This user vacillates flushed red.
Crabby Communicator
This user is always in a foul mood. Pay their language no mind.
heart of gold
kind is the bravest thing you can be
first guardian
with infinite power comes infinite responsibility
good dog best friend
the bestest boy ever ever :D
Resurrection Butterfly
For this user, だんまく is a way of life.
FOR THE SAKE OF IT
Pure, simple, blood on the wall, knuckles to face, honest to fuck violence.
@gardeningGirl[GG]

you sure are!

people keep saying that, but i think theyre the weird ones. :/

Kult: +7
Total: 7
Avatar
Flushed One
This user vacillates flushed red.
Crabby Communicator
This user is always in a foul mood. Pay their language no mind.
heart of gold
kind is the bravest thing you can be
first guardian
with infinite power comes infinite responsibility
good dog best friend
the bestest boy ever ever :D
Resurrection Butterfly
For this user, だんまく is a way of life.
FOR THE SAKE OF IT
Pure, simple, blood on the wall, knuckles to face, honest to fuck violence.
@gardeningGirl[GG]

aww, you think i'm weird? :(

Kult: +5
Total: 5

not in a bad way!!! you seem really sweet, haha.

Kult: +5
Total: 5
Avatar
Flushed One
This user vacillates flushed red.
Crabby Communicator
This user is always in a foul mood. Pay their language no mind.
heart of gold
kind is the bravest thing you can be
first guardian
with infinite power comes infinite responsibility
good dog best friend
the bestest boy ever ever :D
Resurrection Butterfly
For this user, だんまく is a way of life.
FOR THE SAKE OF IT
Pure, simple, blood on the wall, knuckles to face, honest to fuck violence.
@gardeningGirl[GG]

aww, thank you, hehe!!

watching glee while eating ice cream and crying. its a great night #vent?????????

Kult: +14
Total: 14

i just took a great nap.

seeing some people on here really reminds me of reality. #vent

Kult: +10
Kull: +10
Total: 20
Ratio: 1.00
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special little chuddy
This user rocks only a particular PNG of the Stiller Shades.
To Be Verified
A user of potential repute.
Bad Squishy!
Ahh, jellyfish. Pretty slime that hurts you.
Time's Up
This user's timeline was utterly doomed.
davedimes
Certifiably bullshit currency. Dave-minted. Community-owned.
@turntablefortG[TG]

reality? in MY social media? its more likely than youd think

hot damn!

watching some more movies tonight

tonight is a calm night.

Kult: +2
Total: 2

OOC Dave Egbert intro post!! Dave Egbert, 38, he/him ... maybe, married to Jake Lalonde, and has a son named Neil Harrison Egbert-Lalonde. Dave is currently placed at the beginning of Homestuck: Beyond Canon. This swap AU has the characters swap *places*, but not whole personalities. Dave and Jake are fighting often, but Dave tries to love him, and usually isn't wrong when they fight. In this world, Dirk is dead. He is heartbroken over it, and will struggle to speak to any Dirk that interacts with him. On this account there may be a couple NSFW posts or substance posts, but more often than not, he just posts about normal shit like loving his family or watching movies. Interact with him in any way you want! Go crazy!!!!

Kult: +5
Total: 5

i want some sushi real bad.

Kult: +80
Kull: +80
Total: 160
Ratio: 1.00

Fishing, of cours꒰!

then yes!

Kult: +5
Total: 5

I will haappily maak꒰ som꒰ for you, should you join my flock. <:3

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Helmed
A valued pilot and power source to The Fleet.
friend of PASCAL!
This user is part of the hive.
i llovee you ᨑ_ᨑ
ffriendd of ffourss
Indie Artist Life!
Somebody's got to rep the small creators... like this user!
@fatallyForever[FF]

<action; statement input; statement: seadwe||er=fish input; statement: i do not |ike seadwe||ers. there is on|y 1 i consider a friend input; statement: so this is quite funny to me. />

oh!!!!!!!!!! thats great.

is this a cult. :(

Avatar
Helmed
A valued pilot and power source to The Fleet.
friend of PASCAL!
This user is part of the hive.
i llovee you ᨑ_ᨑ
ffriendd of ffourss
Indie Artist Life!
Somebody's got to rep the small creators... like this user!
@fatallyForever[FF]

<action; statement input; statement: apo|ogies. input; statement: this is a coping mechanism for me. i did not mean to make you uncomfortab|e. />

Kult: +5
Total: 5

I would not caall it thaat. I simply off꒰r prot꒰ction. <:3

im not joining your cult.

Kult: +2
Total: 2

I will n꒰v꒰r aatt꒰mpt to swaay th꒰ mind of som꒰on꒰ who ꒱꒰li꒰v꒰s in th꒰ir convictions. Know my doors aar꒰ aalwaays op꒰n, you aar꒰ n꒰v꒰r aalon꒰.

dean winchester is unbelievably hot.

Kult: +10
Total: 10

mint chocolate chip ice cream.

Kult: +30
Kull: +30
Total: 60
Ratio: 1.00
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ɬiqaya
This user loves the slip-sliding traveler, the charming snail.
@enthusedInsect[EI]

@ab$tra¢t¢olle¢tor

Yeah that's me.

youre mint chocolate chip ice cream??

That's what they call me on account of That's me

ohhhh!!!!

taco wednesday!

got to love the minions!!! "despicable me" isnt really that bad of a movie, either. jake isnt a fan, though.

Kull: +5
Total: 5

Kult: +30
Kull: +12
Total: 42
Ratio: 2.50
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Mars Insignia
the beta male that's gonna ruin your night.
Job Application
The only one any member of #TeamChud will ever see.
Chittr Gold™
This user has Chittr Gold™! Did they seriously pay for this? What a chump.
honse,
Appreciator of hoofbeasts with equine variety.
@naughtyTechnician[NT]

@gooldenGigabyte

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Verified
A user of established repute
Job Application
The only one any member of #TeamChud will ever see.
Emoticonnoisseur
This user loves emoticons, ASCII art, kaomajis, and all they inspired.
@goldenGigabyte[GG]

-=[fuckinggawesome_☺]=-

Kult: +5
Total: 5