CALDERUS
@unashamedUnmaker
USED TO BE HOT SHIT. THEN I BECAME A DAD. FUCKED UP. ….AND I GUESS I’M TRYING TO BE BETTER NOW. LOVE YOU PM. <3
i think i hate myself
CONDOLENCES.
I miss Calderus.
HEY CASPER.
Hey. Did you died?
NOT LAST TIME I CHECKED, NO.
BEEN A BIT SINCE I’VE POSTED, WHICH IS PROBABLY A GOOD THING CONSIDERING. I’M SURE NOTHING BIG OR IMPORTANT HAS HAPPENED AT ALL.
MY MUM BLOCKED A LORD ENGLISH BLAST LIKE IT WAS NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!
redirected it, love. bUt... i sUppose it wasn't a particUlarly difficUlt spell for me! it was space majyyk, after all.
HUUUUUUUUUUUH. WELL, FUCK, GOOD FOR YOU. PROUD OF YOU.
SHE FINALLY HAS A FEAT SHES NOT POTENTIALMAN ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH YEAH, REMEMBER SEEING YOU TALK ABOUT THAT. GOOD FOR YOU! FOR HER, I DON’T FUCKING KNOW.
((*For her?
WAIT. IS THAT ONE VERSION OF JACK. TECHNICALLY. ALSO. MY SON???
I think you need to stop calling Caldybaldyborn your son, big dog.
WHY.
Seeing as I haven't seen Calderus in a while I'm guessing his date with PM went well
I POSTED EARLIER TODAY DUMBASS.
I don't pay attention to everything about you
CLICKING MY ACCOUNT TO CHECK BEFORE YA POST IS FREE AND EASY.
i just came 2 a sobering realization. my mum is a fully grown cherub. her species blows Up planets & eats suns & shoots mouth lasers. she can do all those things. but she chooses not 2. my mum is potential man. Úm@
WHAT THE FUCK IS A POTENTIAL MAN.
some1 whos SUPPOSEDLY super powerful but never actually does anything w/ it...
HUH, THAT’S A NEW ONE. I MEAN FROM EXPERIENCE, THE EXPERIENCE BEING BEING MYSELF, I THINK A CHERUB NOT USING THEIR SHIT IS PROBABLY A BETTER CASE OPTION FOR EVERYBODY.
she could at least blow Up an asteroid or something....
WOULD IT HELP IF, IF WE EVER MEET BY SOME WEIRD CHANCE, I BLOW SOMETHING UP FOR YOU?
Getting three reactions from two separate cherubim on that chit was both discouraging and encouraging.
I MEAN, NOT SURE WHAT THE OTHER GUY SAID BUT IT’S RELATIVELY ACCURATE SO.
OH, MY SON.
@CHILLERAFICIONADO HAPPY…WIGGLING? WRIGGLING? WAGGLING? HAPPY WHATEVER DAY, PAL.
I can't believe I've carved out a space in where your dusty crusty heart should be
I’LL BE REAL, MOST OF MY RESISTANCE WAS RUNNING ON FUMES WHEN I FIRST GOT HERE ANYWAYS.
It's because of my heart of gold actually
I REALLY THINK IT HAS MORE TO DO WITH MY PARTNER BUT SURE, IT’S YOUR BIG DAY SO WHATEVER YA SAY.
I resent being a dog. But while that is the case. This badge applies and I will keep it.
WELL IT LOOKS CUTE ON YOU.
ANOTHER MISTAKE OF MANY IN MY LIFE. I GUESS.
What happened?
SOMETHING MY SON SAID.
I see. I am sorry then.
IT’S ALRIGHT, IT’LL PASS.
@unashamedUnmaker @themanintheCairoovercoat @caliBorn When's the family reunion btw??????????
…DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY ANYTHING AFTER WHAT THE OTHERS SAID?
NO. BuT IT MEANS SOMETHING YOu SHOWED uP AT ALL. A FIRST FOR YOu.
HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN HOW CHERUB REPRODUCTION AND LIFESPAN WORKS BEFORE I STOP GETTING CALLED A DEADBEAT.
I AM LITERALLY THE AuTHOR ON THE BOOK OF CHERuBIAN BITCHASS REPRODuCTION. IN FACT. CHERuBIAN ANATOMY ONE HuNDRED AND ONE TWO WILL DROP ANY DAY NOW. BuT. IF THERE IS ANYTHING I HAVE LEARNED. FROM THE COMPANY I HAVE KEPT. AND THE STuPID BITCHING I HAVE VETTED. FROM THOSE WHO BEG ME IN VAIN FOR MERCY. IT IS THAT YOu ARE STILL YOuR OWN CHOICES. I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT WHAT IS NORMAL. YOu CANNOT THRuST YOuRSELF ONTO THIS STAGE. AND SAY. I PLAY THE ROLE OF THE FATHER WHO WAS NEVER THERE. SuCH IS FATE. SuCH IS BIOLOGICAL IMPERATIVE. I AM A SLAVE TO MY GENES. DO NOT BE MAD. OR EVEN THE LEAST BIT DISGRuNTLED. THAT I WAS NEVER THERE FOR YOu. OR ANYONE. THAT ALL YOuR QuESTIONS. HAD TO BE VETTED THROuGH A SMELLY CLOWN. WHO WAS WRONG ABOuT MOST EVERYTHING. BECAuSE OF YOu. BECAuSE OF YOuR INCOMPETENCE. YOuR CERTAINTY THAT YOuR FATHERHOOD WAS NEEDED ELSEWHEREN'T. AT LEAST ONE JACKASS WENT TO A VERY DARK AND DIABOLICALLY uNWANTED PLACE. AND YOu STILL SuCK FOR THAT. YOu ARE NOT BEING BLAMED FOR DEFYING EXPECTATION OR STEREOTYPE. YOu ARE BEING BLAMED FOR EMBODYING IT. YOu FAILuRE. WE DID NOT EVEN PLAY CATCH.
…YEAH. FAIR ENOUGH.