♦ pitied by @unchainedDecay
ok, yeah, i officially have a cold. this sucks.
My scars are flaring up again, how fun.
The time is alm✴st up✴n us. T✴ th✴se wh✴ stand by me, wh✴ stand by my g✴als, wh✴ wish t✴ create a new reality where all dreams and h✴pes and wishes will c✴me true, lend me sight int✴ y✴ur w✴rld, thr✴ugh y✴ur eyes. Preparati✴ns are in ✴rder. The final m✴ment draws nearer. Many ✴f y✴u have bec✴me str✴nger. I am... pr✴ud. Let us achieve y✴ur dreams, and create Heaven. //OOC: psst. either drop a drawing of your oc looking up at the sky or out at paradox space or whatever, in their current location. or drop a reference image so i can draw em myself. workin on a flash animation for this. smile's. // ((if this is still s✴mething y✴u want t✴ be part ✴f))
its a terrible night to be uncursed.
(\ /) my irises are doing that thing where they're kind of shaking or something like that. taking this as my sign to lay down now.
D --> I think one should always be endeavoring to grow STRONGER D --> If not of body, then of skill, of mind, or even simply of weaponry D --> It is the most noble of pursuits
At least the bare minimum bar has been passed :/
busy day...
⫘The.BitchTM.has.pictures.of.their.previous.captives.on.the.walls..Hate.that..I.haven't.counted.them.and.I'm.not.gonna,.but.they're.fucking.*everywhere*.and.it's.creepy.as.shit!!. #beforanculling.#abuse.#captivity⫘•
helping clockwork with a blood aspect thing so they dont like. kidnap and torture a vantas or something. not on their side ok
clawing at my face. i really gotta stop opening my fat fucking mouth to say the things im thinking.
oi think oi royally facked up oi forgot to ask her out oive been living loike "yeh shes moi matesprite, defo" en oi NEVER ACTUALLY ASKED HER OUT
IM SO FUCKING SAD
.did you know they cover up our signs on purposE .and they put us in these dumb colorless mech work suits toO .stamped with the local authoritys identifierS .cant sit down in theM .cant get comfortablE .only get to take it off to sleep or eaT .message is simple reallY .for the duration of solar deployment ,youre not a persoN .youre a machinE .no better than your average dronE .but at least its only for one perigee out of the sweeP
𖣂 i am no lord 𖣂 i was not made for this 𖣂 i was notmadeforthisiwasnotmadeforthis
...even now i still find sexual things so much easier than emotional things. maybe nepeta was right.
Something they don't tell you about trauma is that after being traumatised enough times it starts to get really. Fucking. Annoying. Yes yes I'm shaking and terrified despite absolutely nothing happening, yes I'm reliving the same moment in my head, yes the thought of anyone even coming close to me is making me feel ill, yes my emotional processing feels stunted and everything is like pins and needles in my pan. Can we move on already? Do you mind? Get out. Get the fuck out of my head already. I've done this dance before and it's boring now. LEAVE.
https://files.catbox.moe/vrav2t.gif
it does. speaking from experience. it might get worse but it gets better.
this shit along with the failed suicide attempt (why i was gone for a whole week) paired with the gradual increase of depressive episodes and a feeling of deep loneliness even when talking to and hanging out with people i give a fuck about is really doing number's on me. but i guess thats the point. break the vessel until its suitable enough, right? ...wonder if that implies the demon eye thing is the cause of my mental health issue's recently. it isnt, ive always been this way. but i guess itd be nice to have something to blame.
if I just don’t sleep ever I can keep everypuppy I care a8out safe this is a life hack #copium
[Handle Changing..] -- [emcayedMetamorphosis is now empcayedMetamorphosis!] -- Its time. time to see yourself as you truly are. its going to be absolutely //devastating//, but there's no way to avoid it. #totality
(( After my walk from work, I came home and found a fucking TICK ON T O P OF MY HEAD, EMBEDDED. FUCK TICKS. IF GOD IS REAL, HE DESERVES A SANDPAPER DILDO UP HIS ASS FOR THE CREATION OF TICKS. {r}#nsfw #i-hate-ticks{r}
Terrible Day
getting tired. if anyone can hear me allow me to hope again -🐎
I'm only happy when she says I am.