Monkei Magyks
@wizardlySimian
I am Monkei Magyks!! I cast my spell of good fortune upon you!!! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧
@(。◕`ᗜ´◕)@ GGGGGGGRAUGH!!!! @(。･`૩´･)@—̳͟͞͞3 ³❥₃❥³₃❥³₃❥³❥₃ α~『 フォビデン・アルファー・テクニーク・グッド・モーニング・キス』- 【Fobiden arufā tekunīku guddo mōningu kisu】 @(。･`ꇳ´･)@ 「FORBIDDEN ALPHA TECHNIQUE - GOOD MORNING KISS!!!!」
HOO HOO HAH!!! Such a powerful technique! You've learned well my apprentice! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧ But see...I have, an even stronger spell to bestow upon you HOO HOO HAH @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧ MONKEY KISS BARRAGE BLAST!!!!!! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧
|| ► what time is it? soon-to-beforian understandings of the trollian sweep. || an article on beforus-based calendar understanding and execution of chronology by accredited author chakwa nanich, localized into 4 separate trollian dialects and 1 non-trollian dialect for ease-of-reading. questions? comments? generalized fears about upcoming elections to caste-representative positions in government? chakwa nanich can be reached using @integrityManifesto on chittr. → article begins. in branching out across platforms, it has come to my attention that! non-trollian species might struggle to understand the timekeeping practices of a beforian journalist. since journalism itself is about sharing information in the most understandable and blunt way, i can't exactly leave a newfound audience out to dry. so. despite my great efforts to avoid the inevitable, i will now embrace the mantle of proper schoolfeeder to the unabsorbed. should make things easier when you are all eventually subsumed into the beforian domain, putting you at least two sheds above the average cull-captive. let's hop to it! beforus rotates on two axes, the polar axis and the lunar axis. the polar axis runs through our largest oceans, specifically the deepest trenches of those oceans! similar to the "human" concept of "north and south" poles from my extensive research. the lunar axis is a variable point, so just think of it as "perpendicular" to our lovely pink moon and our solar system's resident star. analogous to the "human" concept of "north and south" poles... again. wik-kəmtəks? most wrigglers are! don't worry... i have a feedecree in communication. time to approach it another way. beforus orbits the resident star on its lunar axis, meaning the moon and the sun are on the same "plane" in space at all times. however, the planet SPINS on its polar axis, and our equator is never parallel with our moon because the MOON orbits over the polar axis. 'dret wik-kəmtəks ixt. {i have included a helpful diagram below to clarify things a little further, in case my readers are visual feeders.} moving on... a perigee is the time it takes our pink moon to reach one pole from the other, or one full night and light together, with the apogee being the midpoint or change-over from light to night... or night to light depending on your location! sort of similar to chaku-san or chaku-mun for the diurnal "human" species that seems most dominant of non-trollian chittr users. the moon orbits us 13 full times over the course of an equinox. 26 perigees {or 26 apogees if you're weird} make just 1 equinox {about 1 rotation of the planet} and it takes around 26 equinoxes to orbit the resident star. wow! it sure is nice to have everything perfectly match like that, huh? ...fun fact for the curious... beforus actually has several "eves" that are "not-really-nights" in our calendars, or night / light cycles that get "skipped" from counting because we like our 26-26-26 set-up sooo much. you might have heard of 12th perigee's eve before! that's just one of our "skipping" perigees, showing up every equinox or so to pad out those pesky "almost" and "abouts" in beforan timekeeping. hatching on an eve is considered very unlucky in some parts of beforus, so do your best to chew out at a good time like just before or after a season. a season? right! beforus has four seasons, known as dim / dusk / dawn / doom. these are governed by our orbit around the resident star. doom and dusk are opposites, just like dim and dawn, existing on opposite sides of beforus at any given time. unlike non-trollian seasons on boring 1-axis planets like "earth" or similar, our seasons refer to the position of the star's light on beforus at any given time during a sweep. the side of beforus that faces the resident star is in the doom season, the side facing away from the resident star is in the dusk season! meanwhile, the dawn season is the "edge" of the doom-dusk seasons "turning" into the sunlight and the dim season is the doom-dusk "edge" now "turning" away from the sunlight. {i'll include a diagram for this as well. my gift to visual feeders.} doom seasons are hot, dusk seasons are cold, and dim / dawn seasons are just the best! thankfully, the worst of doom and dusk seasons take place over the deep oceans, warming our and cooling our waters in a way that keeps the whole of beforus very livable for even the lowliest of landdwellers. when our equator faces the resident star, our natural rotation keeps the topography from being utterly eradicated by husk-blistering radiation and heat... but don't go wandering during the light apogee. seriously! i'm warning you against that. phew! looks like we've covered all the basics, even if it gets even more complicated down to the smallest click. trolls are pretty set in our ways. we like everything working out in sort-of-tridecimals more than anything else, so even our perigees are broken up into 26: 13 scrubs before apogee then 13 scrubs after. as for a scrub, that's 26 swabs, and finally 52... clicks to a swab. {no system's perfect, i suppose.} consider it a system relying on 12... + 1, just in case. thank you for taking the time to feed up on basic beforian timekeeping with me, dear reader. hopefully these details have scuttled to the deepest reaches of your pan-equivalent... and if you're a troll who didn't know any of this stuff. well, now you do! if you enjoyed my ramblings, you might think to subscribe to my chittr profile, but. only do that if you're prepared for some hard hitting REAL journalism tackling the weird and wacky and wonderful problems on beforus. yes, i said PROBLEMS. no system is ideal until there's nothing left to critique, so keep your bulbs open and your tubes clean. if you dare! → article concludes. this is chakwa nanich, alta nayka ɬatu on the 12th lunar perigee of the 8th doom season's equinox. ɬax̣ayam! mirrored articles on swattpad, recoupjournal, huskbook, and panshock monthly. originally posted on the official alta 'mayka munk-kəmtəks website. — alta ɬaska chaku-sax̣ali, ɬaska 'təmtəm ɬatwa ɬatwa ɬatwa kʰanu-qʰata.
@(。◕`ꇳ´◕)@ CHAWKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! NANIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICH!!!!!!!!!!!! @(。◕`ꇳ´◕)@ KONGAR DID NOT KNOW YOU WERE ON HERE!!! THIS IS MOST EXCITING NEWS. NEWS OF A PROSPEROUS EXCITEMENT. THAT CANNOT BE CONTAINED. SO IT WILL NOT BE. KONGAR WILL BE TELLING. ALL OF EVERYONE. EVEN WOLAND. MIGHT BE NUDGED INTO JOINING NOW. YOU LOOK. SO WISE. SURROUNDED BY YOUR HELPFUL VISUALS. KONGAR WILL NEVER MISTAKE DUSK FOR DOOM AGAIN. OR DAY FOR NIGHT. OR DIM FOR. WELL. ANY OF THE BEFOREMENTIONED. ᕦ@(o･ｪ･oˇ)@ᕤ HMP!!! AND KONGAR WILL ALSO. MAKE MORE CONTENT. TO ENSURE CHAWKA NANICH HAS A NICE STAY. @(/o･ｪ･o)@/ HEE HEE HAA HAA!!! WOO HEE HEE HAA HAA!
Kongar!!! My apprentice.... My orb fails me, who is this individual? Are they too apart of the grand quest we have embarked on??? SPEAK TO ME!!! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧
ᕦ@(o･ｪ･oˇ)@ᕤ YOU ONCE TOLD ME. A WORTHY APPRENTICE LOOKS FOR THE WORDS BEYOND THE PAGES OF A SINGLE BOOK. THIS. IS ANOTHER BOOK. CHAWKA NANICH IS A CREATOR OF MANY BOOKS. A WORDSMITH OF MANY WRITTEN SCULPTURES. AND THE MIGHTIEST PEN TO SURPASS ALL SWORDS. HE IS. ERUDITE INFORMATION. THAT KONGAR COULD NEVER HOPE TO FIT INSIDE OF KONGAR'S THINKPAN ALL AT ONCE. AND OFTEN HAS TO THINK ABOUT. LONG AND HARD. FOR A VERY VERY VERY LONG TIME. ALL OF THIS... -@(o･ｪ･o)@) @(。・v< )@ ~☆ AND A FRIEND.
AH!!!! I see... HOO HOO HAH!! A fellow parser of the fine arts of WORDS and SCRIPTURES!!! You have done well to make friends with individuals of wise caliber I am proud of you my apprentice! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧ EHEM!! If uhm, Chakwa witnesses this, I greet you! My name is Monkei and I am very excited to share knowledge with you and also to LEARN from you!! HOO HOO HAH! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧
witnessing... ₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ a grand pleasure to meet a compawnion of kongar's! i am very talkative, but only about the things that i like. this is your one and only warning before entering companionship with the one and only chakwa nanich... ₍ᐢ. ༝ .ᐢ₎ still, we probably have much to learn from the other. here is to a long and cheerful closeness! — alta ɬaska chaku-sax̣ali, ɬaska 'təmtəm ɬatwa ɬatwa ɬatwa kʰanu-qʰata.
HOO HOO HAH! Do not worry, as a wizard of the magic arts, all knowledge is good knowledge!! You may blab to me on the parchments as long as you desire!! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧ Perhaps we could even invite you to our grand adventures? our many nights of intense bloons towers defense 6? Some Balatro? @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧ WE WILL BALL!!! MONKEY BALL!!! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧
your invitation is just so thoughtful! do you have nothing but kindness in your pan?! it's putting this journalist to shame... hihihi! 𐔌՞꜆. ̫.꜀՞𐦯 it would be an honor to join yourself and @apexAcerbate in a flurry of company-making activities. i'm shocked that the perilous trials of MONKEY BALL have fans even in this modern age... i suppose some trolls are gluttons for punishment? but ixt caveat. kongar is required to ice and rest that shoulder. i will not be responsible for chitin failure later in life. ma kəmtəks?! ૮₍ ˶˃ ⤙ ˂˶ ₎ა — alta ɬaska chaku-sax̣ali, ɬaska 'təmtəm ɬatwa ɬatwa ɬatwa kʰanu-qʰata.
Fret not!! I shall cast a Panacea spell upon him so that he may recover quickly from his ailments, and also gently bonk him with my wand for being irresponsible with his physical health! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧ And you flatter me soo HOO HOO HAH, a true wizard must find kindness in his heart, lest he be lead astray by the dark arts... I would not wish such a fate to any magic caster. @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧
I win again!!! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧ #Vaguepost
@(。・0・)@ WHEN YOU WIN. KONGAR WINS ALSO. KONGAR IS VERY HAPPY FOR THE YOU THAT IS US. THE ROYAL YOU. THE WE. EVEN. HUZZAH!!!
YES YES!! My victory is OUR victory, victory for monkeyrex kind!!! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧ I will say, it is always a pleasure to play with you, victory or not hoo hoo hah!! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧ I cannot wait to play more once more @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧
HOO HOO HAH??? What a mysterious fellow we have unleashed within our deck!!! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧ @apexAcerbate #Monkeygaming
@(。◕`ꇳ´◕)@ WHAT ARE YOU DOING. IN MY. CARD GAME???? BESIDES. TURNING A RANDOM CARD. IN MY HAND. INTO A PARADOX. AND GIVING ME X1.25 MULT. IT SHRINKS MY DECK SIZE!!!! OO OO HUH HUH???? WHAT NEFARIOUS PURPOSE COULD YOU HAVE. FOR PRUNING MY DECK!!! FOR KING MAKING ONLY KINGS!!! I WOULD PLAY THE SAME CARDS FOREVER!! EE HEE HAA!!!
I cast my spell of making you forget that I shrunk your deck and ultimately doomed your run to fail!!! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧ The spell is a actually me running away from the husktop!! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧
Run.
Rise. @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧
Monkei
Tis I! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧
You!! Onlooker of the fabled chittr feed parchement, behold my mightiest spell!!! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧ FORTUNUS DIES NATALIS!!!!!!! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧
@(。･`⸟´･)@ ...? 🎂@(。◕`ꇳ´◕)@🍰”┌iii┐⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ *ੈ𝐻𝒶𝓅𝓅𝓎 𝒷𝒾𝓇𝓉𝒽𝒹𝒶𝓎✩‧₊˚ ₋ᵢFY @(。◕`ꇳ´◕)@ -IFY ⁻ᴵᶠʸ ⁻ᴵᶠʸ⁻ᴵᶠʸ ⁻ᴵᶠʸ ⁻ᴵᶠʸ ⁻ᴵᶠʸ ⁻ᴵᶠʸ ! @(。◕`ꇳ´◕)@ HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!?!?!?
Hoo hoo hah!!! My spell has found its way to you!! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧ Once you have reached a sufficiant level, then I will teach you the ways to my greatest spell hoo hoo hah!!! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧
Hoo hoo ha!!!! Tis' I the magnimous and luminous... MONKEI MAGYKS!!!! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧ I shall bless thy feed with my grandiose and fortuitous spells!! Bringing you good fortune and as thee youngin's say "good vibes" to your day!! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧ I am wise beyond my years with multitudes of knowledge within my monkey paw grasp so beware if you tempt to cross me!! Though I may be soothed by the delicacy of a blueberry sorbet surprise. EHEM!!!!! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧ @apexAcerbate is my protégé!! My apprentice!! My comrade in arms!!!! Slight him and I shalt cast my mightiest of chaotic magics upon you and your bloodline HOO HOO HAH!!!! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧ Ehem. I like bloons tower defense 6, I like playing roleplaying games and I am a mighty appreciator of the fine arts that is larping. I do like making friends who also wish to partake in similar activities that I enjoy. I also take magic spell and brew comissions!!! so uhm...hoo hoo hah!!! give me coins and my skills are yours!! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧
Someone That Understands The Beauty Of Bloons Tower Defense. And A Master Of The Myst|c Arts? Perhaps You Have What |t Takes To Be A Duel|st Worthy Of My T|me.
Hoo hoo hah!!! I see I have garnered the exact kind of like minded individuals I wish to surround myself with!! A duel of which kind? Of arcane cards? Of spells? Brewing contest? Bloons tower defense 6's VS mode???? @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧
Ptolmy Kanast, Future K|ng Of Games W|ll Meet Any Challenger |n Any Arena. Duel Luc|, F|duspawn, T|c Tac Toe? All And More Are W|th|n The Breadth Of My Sk|ll. But Maybe, Noth|ng |nvolv|ng Bloons Td Battles 2. The Metagame |s Really Stale And |ts An Unfortunately |nfer|or Product Compared To Btd6 And Even Battles 1.
Truly a mighty foe of many battles won I see, various games for us to fight for glory!!! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧ I would quite enjoy tic tac toe or indeed the vastly superior BTD6. @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧ BTD2 is infact, subpar, I am glad we find common grounds on this accord!!! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧
@(。・0・)@ MONKEI!!!! @(。･`ꇳ´･)@—̳͟͞͞3⁼³₌₃⁼³₌₃ I HAVE HONED MY TECHNIQUE!!! MY EVERY LAST CASTING OF "FIST" HAS IMPROVED IN CASTING TIME. BY NEARLY HALF SECONDS EACH. I CAN NOW PUNCH FASTER. THAN A LIGHTSWITCH TURNS OFF. THAN A FIREBALL CAN IGNITE. THAN A...WELL. THAN MOST THINGS!!! YOUR TRAINING HAS REALLY PAID OFF!!! I AM WELL ON MY WAY. TO ACHIEVING MY GOAL. OF BEING THE STRONGEST MARTIAL WIZARD BOY WHO EVER LIVED. @(。・へ・)@ ...!!! @(｡ ･ｪ･｡)@ AND YOU ARE HERE! NOT EARLY! NOT LATE! BUT PRECISELY WHEN YOU INTENDED TO BE HERE!!!! WOO HOO HAA HAA!!!! I NEED TO SHOWER YOU IN COINS AGAIN SOMETIME. AND DEFEND SOME TOWERS. AGAINST THE ENTOURAGE OF. SKY BLOTTING BLIMPS. WITH THE POWER. OF MANY MONKEYS HARNESSED. I AM STILL SORRY ABOUT SPENDING SO MUCH OF OUR RESOURCES. ON SUPERMONKEYS. AND SPIKE TRAPS. I JUST. WANTED TO GIVE THE NINJAS A BREAK. THEY WORK...SO DAMN HARD...THEY...THEY DESERVED RECOGNITION...AND REPRIEVE... @(。・⸟・)@ ... @(。・｡・)@ ...!!! @(。◕`ꇳ´◕)@ BUT THIS MEANS!!!! THIS MEANS THIS MEANS THIS MEANS THIS MEANS!!!!! WE CAN SHARE ONE ANOTHER'S ADVENTERRORS TOGETHER!!!!! WE CAN CHRONICLE OUR JOURNEYS AS MEAT SHIELD AND GLASS CANNON!!!! BRAIN AND BRAWN!!! FIREBALL DELIVERY AND ASS PACKING!!!! TRICK AND TREAT!!!!! THANK YOU FOR JOINING THANK YOU FOR JOINING THANK YOU FOR JOINING THANK YOU FOR JOINING!!!
My apprentice!!!! Hoo hoo hah I was awaiting your arrival, witnessing each of your digital caligraphic words through my pondering orb!! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧ I witness your power, your growing might! A tear of pure friendship and comradery flows down my fuzzy cheek and beard... Oh how proud I am to have you under my tutelage!!! To watch as your mighty fists of the indomitable spirit of a monk shatters the very soul of evil dooers bringing VICTORY!!!! to our sweeps long quest!! My simian brotheren you shall continue to rise and I will aid you in all that I can muster and cast!!!! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧ I would adore to play more Bloons with you!! Coins are not a need but appreciated, of course as my apprentice you get a 50% off discount and a freebie with purchase. Tis the laws of monkey comradery. @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧ I SHALL PREPARE!!!! MY JOURNALS!!!! MY GRIMOIRES!!!! To write our legends, rewrite HISTORY!!!! libraries shall be built in our honor to archive the many quests and adventures we will have VERY VERY soon!!! HOO HOO HAH I am so excited so very elated even! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧ Do tell me a day and place for us to meet up again, and I will use my transportation spell post haste!! or if I uh, do not have the ingrediants for it, simply use the trainway. @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧
[g] goregle cheap hangover cure works]
I am not goregle but I am your local magic wizard!!! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧ To brew your mystic cure, you must aquire a singing bell petal, the root of a Gingaxe tree, water from the crystaline twin-moon lake and a single tear of a monoceros hoofbeast!!! @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧
[T] Thank you, Mr. Wizard.] [I] I cannot do this.]
WORRY NOT!!! I, the illustrous, GRANTISIMO!!! MONKEI MAGYKS!!! may be bribed for a few coinage to prepare this potent healing potion in your steed. @(･ェ･)@⊃━☆:･ﾟ✧