♥ liked by @wizardlySimian
@(。・0・)@ @(。・ᗜ・)@ @(。ˇ･`ᗜ´･)@ THE WORLD...TRULY IS...BIGGER THAN KONGAR COULD EVER IMAGINE...
@(。◕`ᗜ´◕)@ GGGGGGGRAUGH!!!! @(。･`૩´･)@—̳͟͞͞3 ³❥₃❥³₃❥³₃❥³❥₃ α~『 フォビデン・アルファー・テクニーク・グッド・モーニング・キス』- 【Fobiden arufā tekunīku guddo mōningu kisu】 @(。･`ꇳ´･)@ 「FORBIDDEN ALPHA TECHNIQUE - GOOD MORNING KISS!!!!」
Glue gunner m0nkey is a lesbian
your invitation is just so thoughtful! do you have nothing but kindness in your pan?! it's putting this journalist to shame... hihihi! 𐔌՞꜆. ̫.꜀՞𐦯 it would be an honor to join yourself and @apexAcerbate in a flurry of company-making activities. i'm shocked that the perilous trials of MONKEY BALL have fans even in this modern age... i suppose some trolls are gluttons for punishment? but ixt caveat. kongar is required to ice and rest that shoulder. i will not be responsible for chitin failure later in life. ma kəmtəks?! ૮₍ ˶˃ ⤙ ˂˶ ₎ა — alta ɬaska chaku-sax̣ali, ɬaska 'təmtəm ɬatwa ɬatwa ɬatwa kʰanu-qʰata.
witnessing... ₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ a grand pleasure to meet a compawnion of kongar's! i am very talkative, but only about the things that i like. this is your one and only warning before entering companionship with the one and only chakwa nanich... ₍ᐢ. ༝ .ᐢ₎ still, we probably have much to learn from the other. here is to a long and cheerful closeness! — alta ɬaska chaku-sax̣ali, ɬaska 'təmtəm ɬatwa ɬatwa ɬatwa kʰanu-qʰata.
ᴗദ്ദി(ᴗᏊᄒꈊᄒᏊ)ᴗ< AWWWW, SHUCKS!!! I ain't all that, honest, honest!!! Ewe've got me blushin' somethin' fierce 'n frenzied...tell ewe what, I'll go ahead 'n get t'backreadin' now, catch myself up t'speed on what ya got furnished good 'n proper...'n I'll be sure t'chop through this 'ere writin' block 'n get some entertainment nice 'n furnished good 'n plenty-like...!!!! ( Ꮚ⚀ꈊ⚀Ꮚ) < I got...so many demandin' fans now...does a pusher good!
ᕦ@(o･ｪ･oˇ)@ᕤ YOU ONCE TOLD ME. A WORTHY APPRENTICE LOOKS FOR THE WORDS BEYOND THE PAGES OF A SINGLE BOOK. THIS. IS ANOTHER BOOK. CHAWKA NANICH IS A CREATOR OF MANY BOOKS. A WORDSMITH OF MANY WRITTEN SCULPTURES. AND THE MIGHTIEST PEN TO SURPASS ALL SWORDS. HE IS. ERUDITE INFORMATION. THAT KONGAR COULD NEVER HOPE TO FIT INSIDE OF KONGAR'S THINKPAN ALL AT ONCE. AND OFTEN HAS TO THINK ABOUT. LONG AND HARD. FOR A VERY VERY VERY LONG TIME. ALL OF THIS... -@(o･ｪ･o)@) @(。・v< )@ ~☆ AND A FRIEND.
|| ► what time is it? soon-to-beforian understandings of the trollian sweep. || an article on beforus-based calendar understanding and execution of chronology by accredited author chakwa nanich, localized into 4 separate trollian dialects and 1 non-trollian dialect for ease-of-reading. questions? comments? generalized fears about upcoming elections to caste-representative positions in government? chakwa nanich can be reached using @integrityManifesto on chittr. → article begins. in branching out across platforms, it has come to my attention that! non-trollian species might struggle to understand the timekeeping practices of a beforian journalist. since journalism itself is about sharing information in the most understandable and blunt way, i can't exactly leave a newfound audience out to dry. so. despite my great efforts to avoid the inevitable, i will now embrace the mantle of proper schoolfeeder to the unabsorbed. should make things easier when you are all eventually subsumed into the beforian domain, putting you at least two sheds above the average cull-captive. let's hop to it! beforus rotates on two axes, the polar axis and the lunar axis. the polar axis runs through our largest oceans, specifically the deepest trenches of those oceans! similar to the "human" concept of "north and south" poles from my extensive research. the lunar axis is a variable point, so just think of it as "perpendicular" to our lovely pink moon and our solar system's resident star. analogous to the "human" concept of "north and south" poles... again. wik-kəmtəks? most wrigglers are! don't worry... i have a feedecree in communication. time to approach it another way. beforus orbits the resident star on its lunar axis, meaning the moon and the sun are on the same "plane" in space at all times. however, the planet SPINS on its polar axis, and our equator is never parallel with our moon because the MOON orbits over the polar axis. 'dret wik-kəmtəks ixt. {i have included a helpful diagram below to clarify things a little further, in case my readers are visual feeders.} moving on... a perigee is the time it takes our pink moon to reach one pole from the other, or one full night and light together, with the apogee being the midpoint or change-over from light to night... or night to light depending on your location! sort of similar to chaku-san or chaku-mun for the diurnal "human" species that seems most dominant of non-trollian chittr users. the moon orbits us 13 full times over the course of an equinox. 26 perigees {or 26 apogees if you're weird} make just 1 equinox {about 1 rotation of the planet} and it takes around 26 equinoxes to orbit the resident star. wow! it sure is nice to have everything perfectly match like that, huh? ...fun fact for the curious... beforus actually has several "eves" that are "not-really-nights" in our calendars, or night / light cycles that get "skipped" from counting because we like our 26-26-26 set-up sooo much. you might have heard of 12th perigee's eve before! that's just one of our "skipping" perigees, showing up every equinox or so to pad out those pesky "almost" and "abouts" in beforan timekeeping. hatching on an eve is considered very unlucky in some parts of beforus, so do your best to chew out at a good time like just before or after a season. a season? right! beforus has four seasons, known as dim / dusk / dawn / doom. these are governed by our orbit around the resident star. doom and dusk are opposites, just like dim and dawn, existing on opposite sides of beforus at any given time. unlike non-trollian seasons on boring 1-axis planets like "earth" or similar, our seasons refer to the position of the star's light on beforus at any given time during a sweep. the side of beforus that faces the resident star is in the doom season, the side facing away from the resident star is in the dusk season! meanwhile, the dawn season is the "edge" of the doom-dusk seasons "turning" into the sunlight and the dim season is the doom-dusk "edge" now "turning" away from the sunlight. {i'll include a diagram for this as well. my gift to visual feeders.} doom seasons are hot, dusk seasons are cold, and dim / dawn seasons are just the best! thankfully, the worst of doom and dusk seasons take place over the deep oceans, warming our and cooling our waters in a way that keeps the whole of beforus very livable for even the lowliest of landdwellers. when our equator faces the resident star, our natural rotation keeps the topography from being utterly eradicated by husk-blistering radiation and heat... but don't go wandering during the light apogee. seriously! i'm warning you against that. phew! looks like we've covered all the basics, even if it gets even more complicated down to the smallest click. trolls are pretty set in our ways. we like everything working out in sort-of-tridecimals more than anything else, so even our perigees are broken up into 26: 13 scrubs before apogee then 13 scrubs after. as for a scrub, that's 26 swabs, and finally 52... clicks to a swab. {no system's perfect, i suppose.} consider it a system relying on 12... + 1, just in case. thank you for taking the time to feed up on basic beforian timekeeping with me, dear reader. hopefully these details have scuttled to the deepest reaches of your pan-equivalent... and if you're a troll who didn't know any of this stuff. well, now you do! if you enjoyed my ramblings, you might think to subscribe to my chittr profile, but. only do that if you're prepared for some hard hitting REAL journalism tackling the weird and wacky and wonderful problems on beforus. yes, i said PROBLEMS. no system is ideal until there's nothing left to critique, so keep your bulbs open and your tubes clean. if you dare! → article concludes. this is chakwa nanich, alta nayka ɬatu on the 12th lunar perigee of the 8th doom season's equinox. ɬax̣ayam! mirrored articles on swattpad, recoupjournal, huskbook, and panshock monthly. originally posted on the official alta 'mayka munk-kəmtəks website. — alta ɬaska chaku-sax̣ali, ɬaska 'təmtəm ɬatwa ɬatwa ɬatwa kʰanu-qʰata.
@(。・0・)@ WHEN YOU WIN. KONGAR WINS ALSO. KONGAR IS VERY HAPPY FOR THE YOU THAT IS US. THE ROYAL YOU. THE WE. EVEN. HUZZAH!!!
@(。･`⸟´･)@ ... @(。・へ・)@ ...!!! @(。・｡・)@ ...!!! HEY! HOW DID KONGAR LOSE?
@(。◕`ꇳ´◕)@ WHAT ARE YOU DOING. IN MY. CARD GAME???? BESIDES. TURNING A RANDOM CARD. IN MY HAND. INTO A PARADOX. AND GIVING ME X1.25 MULT. IT SHRINKS MY DECK SIZE!!!! OO OO HUH HUH???? WHAT NEFARIOUS PURPOSE COULD YOU HAVE. FOR PRUNING MY DECK!!! FOR KING MAKING ONLY KINGS!!! I WOULD PLAY THE SAME CARDS FOREVER!! EE HEE HAA!!!
Monkei
Run.
@(。･`⸟´･)@ ...? 🎂@(。◕`ꇳ´◕)@🍰”┌iii┐⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ *ੈ𝐻𝒶𝓅𝓅𝓎 𝒷𝒾𝓇𝓉𝒽𝒹𝒶𝓎✩‧₊˚ ₋ᵢFY @(。◕`ꇳ´◕)@ -IFY ⁻ᴵᶠʸ ⁻ᴵᶠʸ⁻ᴵᶠʸ ⁻ᴵᶠʸ ⁻ᴵᶠʸ ⁻ᴵᶠʸ ⁻ᴵᶠʸ ! @(。◕`ꇳ´◕)@ HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!?!?!?
@(。・0・)@ DO OTHERS KNOW THAT KONGAR NAMES EVERY SINGLE ONE OF KONGAR'S ATTACKS? @( o･ｪ･o)@=0 『エフ・アイ・ビー・イー・フィンガー・フラフィー・ピー・アー・エル・エム・オー・エフ・ニアバーナー・アブソルーション・アチーブド』THE FIVE FINGER FLUFFY PALM OF NIRBANANA ABSOLUTION ...ACHIEVED!!!! @(◕ x ◕。)@=0 『リーサス・ピーシズ・ピー・ユー・エフ・エフ・ピー・ユー・エフ・エフ・シアリアル・ストライカー・サニティゼーション』 RHESUS PIECES PUFF PUFF SERIAL STRIKER SANITIZATION!!! @(。･`⸟´･)@—̳͟͞͞o⁼³₌₃ 『エス・オー・ユー・エル・ストーリング・セブン・エス・ティー・アー・アー・ストライク』✪✪✪✪✪✪✪ SOUL-STALLING 7-STAR STRIKE!!!!!! ✪✪✪✪✪✪✪
@(。・0・)@ IF YOU ARE EVER NOT FEELING LIKE YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH FOR YOURSELF...REMEMBER. YOU ARE ENOUGH FOR OTHERS. LIKE KONGAR! YOU ARE ENOUGH FOR KONGAR AS LONG AS THERE IS THE TINIEST SPARK OF RESILIENCE LEFT. AS LONG AS YOU ARE WILLING TO TRY. AS LONG AS YOU DO NOT PERISH YOUR AMBITIONS... @(。･`⸟´･)@—̳͟͞͞3⁼³₌₃ KONGAR WILL FIGHT FOR YOU! UNTIL YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO FIGHT ON YOUR OWN. THERE IS NO NUMBER OF PUNCHES KONGAR WILL NOT FIGHT. TO TRAIN. TO HONE. TO PERFECT. AND TO STRENGTHEN YOU. BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT. YOU DESERVE NOT JUST. TO BE ENOUGH. BUT TO FEEL ENOUGH. AND ONE DAY. THERE IS NO TELLING WHEN. BUT ONE DAY. YOU WILL BE.
@(。・0・)@ MONKEI!!!! @(。･`ꇳ´･)@—̳͟͞͞3⁼³₌₃⁼³₌₃ I HAVE HONED MY TECHNIQUE!!! MY EVERY LAST CASTING OF "FIST" HAS IMPROVED IN CASTING TIME. BY NEARLY HALF SECONDS EACH. I CAN NOW PUNCH FASTER. THAN A LIGHTSWITCH TURNS OFF. THAN A FIREBALL CAN IGNITE. THAN A...WELL. THAN MOST THINGS!!! YOUR TRAINING HAS REALLY PAID OFF!!! I AM WELL ON MY WAY. TO ACHIEVING MY GOAL. OF BEING THE STRONGEST MARTIAL WIZARD BOY WHO EVER LIVED. @(。・へ・)@ ...!!! @(｡ ･ｪ･｡)@ AND YOU ARE HERE! NOT EARLY! NOT LATE! BUT PRECISELY WHEN YOU INTENDED TO BE HERE!!!! WOO HOO HAA HAA!!!! I NEED TO SHOWER YOU IN COINS AGAIN SOMETIME. AND DEFEND SOME TOWERS. AGAINST THE ENTOURAGE OF. SKY BLOTTING BLIMPS. WITH THE POWER. OF MANY MONKEYS HARNESSED. I AM STILL SORRY ABOUT SPENDING SO MUCH OF OUR RESOURCES. ON SUPERMONKEYS. AND SPIKE TRAPS. I JUST. WANTED TO GIVE THE NINJAS A BREAK. THEY WORK...SO DAMN HARD...THEY...THEY DESERVED RECOGNITION...AND REPRIEVE... @(。・⸟・)@ ... @(。・｡・)@ ...!!! @(。◕`ꇳ´◕)@ BUT THIS MEANS!!!! THIS MEANS THIS MEANS THIS MEANS THIS MEANS!!!!! WE CAN SHARE ONE ANOTHER'S ADVENTERRORS TOGETHER!!!!! WE CAN CHRONICLE OUR JOURNEYS AS MEAT SHIELD AND GLASS CANNON!!!! BRAIN AND BRAWN!!! FIREBALL DELIVERY AND ASS PACKING!!!! TRICK AND TREAT!!!!! THANK YOU FOR JOINING THANK YOU FOR JOINING THANK YOU FOR JOINING THANK YOU FOR JOINING!!!
Ptolmy Kanast, Future K|ng Of Games W|ll Meet Any Challenger |n Any Arena. Duel Luc|, F|duspawn, T|c Tac Toe? All And More Are W|th|n The Breadth Of My Sk|ll. But Maybe, Noth|ng |nvolv|ng Bloons Td Battles 2. The Metagame |s Really Stale And |ts An Unfortunately |nfer|or Product Compared To Btd6 And Even Battles 1.
[T] Thank you, Mr. Wizard.] [I] I cannot do this.]
Someone That Understands The Beauty Of Bloons Tower Defense. And A Master Of The Myst|c Arts? Perhaps You Have What |t Takes To Be A Duel|st Worthy Of My T|me.
Somewhere, a monkey's paw curls.