♥ liked by @zoologerCoolscar
D --> I have found another magazine D --> This one was tucked away into my desk drawer D --> I canter remember what it was for D --> But I do remember what they told me while I posted D --> They said "you are Mr. Beforus." D --> "Show us what that means"
WHAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU THINK I’M PRETTY. I MEAN IT IS PRETTY. THE DRESS.
#MAIDDRESSMONDAY. EXCEPT FOR IT’S #TUESDAY. BECAUSE I WAS #FUCKINGBUSY. YOU GET WHAT YOU GET, YOU INSIPID BUNCH OF GRUBFISTED HAMBEASTS. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/118F011F777C.JPEG #MAIDMONDAY #SUGGESTIVE
I’M HAVING A REALLY BAD NIGHT. BUT IT’S OKAY, BECAUSE I’VE GOT THE PERFECT ROM COM FOR THIS EXACT SITUATION.
they may not appreciate you at your best but remember that they wwould not survvivve at your wworst.
no prob
please do 1m cur1ous
oh th1s 1s actually k1nda really exc1t1ng to learn about
D --> That is smart D --> Intelligent D --> And wise D --> Tell us what you decide
၄⋆၃ oh how intriguing shout pole im exxited to see how this turns out
D --> That is e%citing D --> Will you get to name it?
8==D < Happy #MaidMonday everypony. 8===D < I am e%cited to participate. 8====D < How hay I serve you? #MaidServant #Service
࣪⊹₊˚{ }=_={ #deepmaid #doomer #gillglubber #tideblogging }˚₊⊹ ࣪
⚇ Glad to see some Beforan motherfuckers have sense. ⚇
D --> "Do you enjoy mime antics?" D --> My thoughts on the antics of mimes are D --> Comple% D --> On the one hoof I understand that Beforus has a wide array of jobs, and the entertainment industry is, quite frankly, lacking D --> However D --> They are unsettling D --> They are not doing the duty they were hatched to do D --> I do not understand why they pretend they cannot speak D --> I know they can speak D --> I verified it myself, grabbing a mime by the grub scar and giving it what he described afterwards as "ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ" D --> Which I believe was mime for "A twist so mighty it rended to from fro" D --> https://forms.gle/evVe%3zWWDQksEKC8
Yeah, my prongs and walk stubs are working class.
D --> I have been warned in advance, by my secretariat D --> That there are a certain demographic of individuals on here who share a name D --> Who have a certain fascination with hooves D --> Paws D --> Whatever one may wish to call them D --> I am making an official declaration now that my hooves are not to be viewed D --> They are private D --> Unless, that is D --> It is requested of me through my charity tasks D --> By a lowerb100d of significant need D --> Or neighaps a higherb100d willing to ask very nicely D --> Or demand it of me D --> I am losing my train of thought D --> The point is, I was warned about you D --> I will not be foaled by your tri%
D --> I hope that you are able to catch it D --> Let me know if you require assistance D --> You may not be a lesserb100d, but Trotswor% can still offer assistance
i joke. if it was rabies itd probably have the usual mouth foam. hope you figure out whatevers up with your poor beastie.
(^._.^) < SORRY.
D --> I have had a long and tiring night D --> Draining, in a sense D --> Neighaps mare than one sense D --> #suggestive D --> All in service of the cause D --> But all e%hausting when it is said and done
၄⋆၃ jegus xhrist you xant just do this to strangers man
Dr0wn y0ur l0cal seadweller In n00k #nsfw
D --> I have many offers for charity work this night D --> This feels my pusher with glee D --> Giddy-up beyond belief D --> To get to serve my purpose not once, twice, but thrice in a single night D --> I must make haste to the office where my secretariat has prepared the necessary equipment for each job D --> The tools for repair-work tasked of me by a bronzeb100d in need D --> The cooking equipment worthy of whipping up a feast the likes of which this rustb100d will have never seen D --> And the leather accessories and tight strappings necessary for this goldb100ds temporary reprieve from his duties as a helpsman repairing an imperial shuttle D --> I take my work seriously D --> No half measures, lest it ruin our company image D --> This is what a good highb100d does
D --> Fooled by an advertisement yet again D --> Distracted by the allure of the advertisement D --> Drawn in by the te%t D --> We are under attack? D --> Quoth the E%emplar, fearful and cautious D --> Alas D --> Gorped once more
HOLY SHIT OKAY, I GUESS THAT ANSWERS THAT QUESTION.
IS THIS TOO MUCH FOR MY QUADFINDR PROFILE? BE HONEST. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/DC3071C3295E.JPEG #SUGGESTIVE
OKAY. BRAID ACCOMPLISHED. IT LOOKS PRETTY. ONLY TOOK TWO OF US.
I MAYBE WAS CONVINCED BY SOMEONE TO PUT MYSELF OUT THERE A LITTLE MORE. APPARENTLY, BEING A SHUT-IN ISN’T CONDUCIVE TO GETTING A DATE, NOT THAT I WANT TO BE THE PROTAGONIST IN 50 FIRST DATES ANYWAY, FUCK NO. CHOOSING DATING SITE PICTURES IS A DEEP ANCIENT HUMILIATION RITUAL, AS IT TURNS OUT.
D --> A long night of charity work D --> I consider it a success D --> The specifics of my work are not important, manetaining an air of mystery is half the job D --> Now if you will e%cuse me D --> The hooves are chafing my prongs and I must return to my hive to remove them
D --> In my free time I like to engage in the recreational pastime called Whack a Ball Across Pristine Greenery Whilst Avoiding Pits of Sand D --> I pride myself in my swing, the speed at which my club impacts the ball has, in the past, broken the sound barrier D --> Not because I am an E%emplar of STRENGTH D --> NAY D --> In fact my form is that of a slimmer man D --> But because I have mastered the trajectory and impact angle D --> Oftentimes it is not about working harder, it is about working smarter
D --> Good evening D --> Tonight will be D --> E%emplary D --> I will give you time to appreciate the choice of words
D --> I am 100king forward mare and mare by the night for the interview I will do D --> There is much to learn and much to e%perience D --> Neighaps I will do another cover photoshoot to go alongside it despite the interview being with somepony else
D --> My secretariat often criticizes me for getting distracted D --> I hired her specifically to keep me in line D --> To ensure that I am not swept away by every little mention of a hoofbeast I see D --> It is not my fault I grew up an appreciator of fine art D --> And that I have the Empress given ability to recognize prized material when I see it D --> She does not allow me to decorate my office the way I wish D --> She says having depictions of refined and elegant genitalia from the humble hoofbest arranged one by one betwi%t photos of my own is undignified D --> I wish for my office to be like the story by famed author George Orewell, Lusus Farm D --> Wherein they 100ked from hoofbeast to E%emplar, from hoofbeast to E%emplar, and back again D --> And realized there was no difference D --> Unfortunately it is like George Orewell's other novel D --> 1984
D --> I do not believe that post was worth pity
D --> It would behoove you to stop pitying it
D --> I am considering interviewing the zoologist D --> Care for lusii is important to me D --> They are beautiful, majestic creatures D --> From the feeble gout of the jumping mantis to the glorious trot of the hoofbeast D --> And we do not do enough to show appreciation to them D --> This is why I have the steadfast skirt of a hoofbeast's tail, attached by the dock to my leather ensemble, on at all times D --> To honor the beasts that we share our world with
yknoww i realized somethin i nevver uploaded the covver edition a my photo for cosmocean a feww months back perhaps megido may suffered for it its a charmin throwwback to my smooth chin era dont you think #fitcheck #gpoe #cosmocean #magazines
D --> Early awakenings leave a lot to be desired D --> At times like these I am reminded me wise words brayed from the mouth of my mentor D --> The early horse gets the hay D --> Or if you are needing proper motivation D --> The late horse gets the crop
D --> Uh oh D --> It seems I am going to be late tonight D --> Heh
its common knowwledge that eridans are drawwn to piggly wwigglies like beasts to slaughter but wwhat the amateur doesnt knoww is that my stalwwart stompers disguise a pair a most elegant strut pods wwith perfect proportions an the butteriest a soles
8=D < Forgive me sir I have made a momentary lapse in my judgement. 8=D < The thought of good hoofcare gets me quite e%cited.
D --> An intriguig offer D --> My usual writings are on motivational material and stress relief tactics for lower b100ds D --> Particularly of the leather variety D --> However a fluff piece between those will always garner attention D --> I would be thrilled to interview you
D --> You would be correct D --> You are intelligent and amare more than most
D --> I do D --> Thanks to my moirail and her remarkable talent for securing gigs D --> And the famed feminine structure of my body according to critics D --> Combined with my imposing size and silhouette D --> I am a popular cover steed for magazines focused on trolls in business
D --> h D --> Thank you D --> I thought so as well
D --> For an indication of who I am D --> Here is the cover of a magazine I fronted a mare sweep ago D --> Edited to include credit to Ms. Leijon, The Muckrake for getting me this gig
D --> Nothing D --> You seem to be new D --> And separate from others who share your name D --> She warned me to keep my hooves hidden around them
D --> My secretariat D --> Name Irrelevant D --> Has given me a thoroughbred rundown of this site D --> She has been here, observing D --> Watching from the shadows D --> Taking note of interactions, of enemies and allies D --> Information necessary so that I don't trot into a situation that I was not prepared for D --> And end up the unwilling mediator between warring parties D --> Which is to say my knowledge of many of you already surpasses most
D --> I would never dare take a mare from her rightful friend and caretaker D --> The most important thing for a creature of her stature is her bonds D --> That is not true D --> Proper manetenance and diet are of deathly importance D --> Her bonds are a very close second
D --> Nay D --> Though given the shine in her eyes D --> It is clear her needs are taken care of D --> And she is a prized mare worthy of note
D --> It is the duty of all higher b100ds to manetain and prioritize the wants and needs of the lesser and lower D --> It is our hatchright and our blessing D --> That is why Trotswor% is a charity organization D --> And that is why I often allow my moirail, a lower b100d, to place me in a suit of fine leather and e%pensive strappery from the isles of yore in High Beforus D --> And at her request D --> Imitate the sounds and mannerisms of her favorite creature D --> The humble meowing beast D --> It is degrading D --> A weak and feeble beast to imitate D --> But it is my duty and I do it with pride D --> And all should follow in my e%ample
D --> I have been instructed by my secretariat that I should say hello as well
bein grotesquely underwweight wwith sevvere anhedonia an antisocial tendencies is a sign a the aristocratic spirit
YAAAAY RAT POST!
8=D < I am very pleased we share this stance! 8=D < I feel for the beasts of course, but real leather is of a much higher caliber than its plastic substitute. 8=D < I shall send you the details posthaste!
D --> Good heavens D --> She is e%traordinary
8=D < I c001d recommend you a craftsman that makes quite wonderfoal products, if you are willing to purchase real leather.
8=D < She does not realise she is hurting you, she is only trying to comfort you when she leans in closer. 8=D < You sh001d consider steel toed boots to avoid further injury.
My c-o-o-ntr-o-o-versial -o-o-pini-o-o-n is that an Amp-o-o-ra can be a preetttyyy c-o-o--o-o-l guy.
8=D < That is a relief! 8=D < You had me worried there, your harness- your highness!
8=D < She is quite beautifoal, you are quite lucky she has taken such a liking to you! 8=D < It speaks to your character, a hoofbeast knows your intentions. 8=D < It is said that they can smell your fear!
8=D < Please reconsider!
8=D < What a magnificent hoofbeast! 8=D < Or am I right to assume a seahoofbeast? 8=D < She is so very beautifoal, a majestic creature. 8=D < It is clear in her eyes that she cares for you.
he is orange so again i fucks with it mildly
accepta8le
FUCK AHHHH ANGUISH
ERIDAN I L-O-O-VE HER PLEASE GIVE HER KISSIES -O-O-N HER SN-O-O--O-O-T
၄⋆၃ oh she is so lovely :D what a beautiful xreature
TE LL HER SHES 8EAUTIFUL AND GIVE HER A KISS FOER ME
Aw! Y-o-o-u might be her fav-o-o-rite t-o-o--o-o-!!
8=D < I can't be tamed! #hoofbeastkin #ponykin
၄⋆၃ why is NOO ONE asking axtual questions i find this situation hilarious but also like you have so muxh interesting knowledge from working with lusii there has to be questions others xould hypothetixally ask dot dot dot
38/ Do not listen to t)(e )(aters.
I CAN'T WAIT!
-o-o-hhh i l-o-o-ve that! hehe d-o-o- y-o-o-u have a fav-o-o-rite -o-o-ne d-o-o-wn by where y-o-o-u w-o-o-rk -o-o-r anything? 8? -o-o-r d-o-o-es eridan n-o-o-t play fav-o-o-rites >8)
What kinda critters d-o-o- y-o-o-u like the m-o-o-st? 8?
I t)(ink t)(ere are better ways to cope but I am sure it is fine to feel )(ow you are feeling! Wasps do not need to )(ear all of t)(at.
tRUE FACTS,
:o) Agreed. :o) When I train my barkbeasts, they are for a purpose. They have jobs. They are clicker trained yes :o) But not simply as a horny button, no no. :o) It is a signal to perform the tasks I have trained them for. :o) I shan't get too much more into it than that but...You and I are on the same page, Zoologer.
well now when you do the cl1ck you gotta g1ve chocolate
Hehehe >8)
OH FUCK Y34H 1 LOV3 CHOCOL4T3 4ND H4T3 R34D1NG TH3 F1RST H4LF OF POSTS
၄⋆၃ my lusus is a bitxh and im not afraid to say that
࣪⊹₊˚{ THEY WORK FOUR FREE???? }*A*{ to shovel lusus ship???? four fffFREEEE....???? }O_O{ }O_O{ }˚₊⊹ ࣪ ࣪⊹₊˚{ oh my god. youre right. that does sound like some kinda infection }˚₊⊹ ࣪ ࣪⊹₊˚{ that, or moby youre just REEEELY popular! \}*7*{/ or surrounded by LARPers! }˚₊⊹ ࣪
So I've depicted myself ★s the d★shing hero ★nd you the sniveling cow★rd. This me★ns I win the ★rgument.
8=D < Went for a trot this evening. There are a great many health and mood benefits to e%ercise. #hoofbeastplay #ponyplay #hoofbeastkin
8=D < Your grace and kindness is highly appreciated, sir. Thank you.
8=D < I w001d be happy to answer any questions that may arise! 8=D < I 100k forward to your /prying/, your harness.
8=D < It is a much more respectable practice! There is nary a s*%ual element to pony play, as opposed to the deviant acts those mutts get up to. 8=D < It is an art form, a show of STRENGTH and agility, beauty and grace, and gear care. It is must more intricate than a simple lead and collar. I must prefer my bridle and reigns. 8=D < If you are ever curious about it, I w001d gladly answer any questions you neigh have.
8=D < It is a letdown how puppy play doesn't involve the discipline called for when training a barkbeast! 8=D < Of course anyone can play how they like, but it seeks most tend to lean more casual in their canine presentation. 8=D < I however am a hoofbeast, I live and breathe it, a showpony that knows how to Trot, gallop and canter, it is not k*nk, but a lifestyle.
༻𐫱༺ I'm ssure I'll 𝒽ave ssomet𝒽ing to ssay t𝒽ere as well, t𝒽oug𝒽 admittedly my knowledge iss more firmly rooted in plantss🌻 ༻𐫱༺
၄⋆၃ unfortunately we are all a little stupid on xhittr and xannot xomprehend what questions are #silly
၄⋆၃ very true shout pole lusii are not trolls they are their own spexies and the only reason they xare for us is due to it being mutually benefixial understanding them xan be diffixult but regardless theyre doing what their instinxts tell them to do its benefixial for young trolls to have a guardian to teaxh them simple ways of life suxh as hunting and dot dot dot whatever else my lusus did for me either way wonderful xhitt shout pole :D