Volkur Denzii
@aerobeaconApathetic
⚡︎ Fiduspawn LGC champion 4 sweeps and counting ⚡︎ ⚡︎ Psyspam or Diespam ⚡︎ ⚡︎ Comprised of about 80% Monster Energy by body weight. ⚡︎ ⚡︎ I won a championship with Kilowattrel what's your excuse? ⚡︎
I am, as ever, a gracious host. It would be unbecoming to let the evening pass without offering some small amusement to my guests. Comment below, and I will read your fortune. Do not mistake this for generosity. I am simply allowing you the privilege of being informed.
⚡︎ ⌁ ...Watt's ⌁ there ⌁ to ⌁ lose, ⌁ I ⌁ suppose. ⌁ ⚡︎
Your fortune hums. Victory, for you, has become less a laurel than a collar with excellent branding. You will stand beneath the lights, smile for the cameras, refuse to reveal your team, and privately calculate whether twenty-two minutes of sleep can be loved enough to count as a relationship. The answer is no, of course. Still, there is some comfort in the lighthouse. A fixed point. A warning. A thing made to burn so that other vessels do not break themselves on the rocks. Do be careful, champion.
⚡︎ ⌁ To ⌁ the ⌁ guy ⌁ Who ⌁ tried ⌁ to ⌁ rush ⌁ my ⌁ signing ⌁ booth ⌁ and ⌁ subsequently ⌁ got ⌁ culled ⌁ for ⌁ it, ⌁ you ⌁ posthumously ⌁ oWe ⌁ me ⌁ a ⌁ neW ⌁ jacket. ⌁ ⚡︎
nooooo what your jacket’s cool as hell
⚡︎ ⌁ Sigh. ⌁ It ⌁ really ⌁ is. ⌁ And ⌁ noW ⌁ it's ⌁ covered ⌁ in ⌁ green. ⌁ ⚡︎
damn.. 1 had someth1ng l1ke that happen a couple w1pes ago, l1ke, completely drenched and everyth1ng. had to cut my losses and get a new one 😔
⚡︎ ⌁ Thankfully, ⌁ I ⌁ have ⌁ access ⌁ to ⌁ very ⌁ good ⌁ dry ⌁ cleaners. ⌁ Doesn't ⌁ make ⌁ it ⌁ any ⌁ less ⌁ of ⌁ a ⌁ hassle, ⌁ though...There ⌁ goes ⌁ my ⌁ hopes ⌁ for ⌁ tWenty ⌁ minutes ⌁ of ⌁ sleep. ⌁ ⚡︎
not your allotted 22 m1nutes of sleep that’s crazy
⚡︎ ⌁ I ⌁ cherish ⌁ those ⌁ 22 ⌁ minutes ⌁ like ⌁ a ⌁ lover ⌁ I ⌁ haven't ⌁ seen ⌁ due ⌁ to ⌁ Wartime ⌁ conflict. ⌁ ⚡︎
that’s one of the most depress1ng th1ngs 1’ve ever heard. good luck
⚡︎ ⌁ It'll ⌁ be ⌁ fine. ⌁ I'm ⌁ cheating ⌁ on ⌁ sleep ⌁ With ⌁ my ⌁ flushed ⌁ mistress, ⌁ Monster ⌁ Energy ⌁ ⚡︎
that’s SUCH a funny way of say1ng that 1’m absolutely go1ng to add that to my vocabulary thank you
⚡︎ ⌁ Good ⌁ evening. ⌁ Today's ⌁ flavor ⌁ of ⌁ Monster ⌁ is... ⌁ Ultra ⌁ Violet. ⌁ Which ⌁ is ⌁ not ⌁ really ⌁ a ⌁ flavor. ⌁ Insofar ⌁ as ⌁ it's ⌁ a ⌁ color. ⌁ But ⌁ hey ⌁ I'm ⌁ just ⌁ a ⌁ FiduspaWn ⌁ player ⌁ Watt ⌁ do ⌁ I ⌁ knoW. ⌁ ⚡︎
why d1dnt they call 1t Ultra V1olent
1f they make 1t real we should ask for royalt1es
⚡︎ ⌁ Fuck, ⌁ I ⌁ don't ⌁ knoW ⌁ Hayaah. ⌁ I ⌁ just ⌁ drink ⌁ the ⌁ shit ⌁ to ⌁ stay ⌁ aWake. ⌁ I ⌁ have ⌁ card ⌁ signings ⌁ in ⌁ tWenty ⌁ minutes ⌁ and ⌁ I'm ⌁ running ⌁ on ⌁ 1 ⌁ hour ⌁ of ⌁ sleep ⌁ in ⌁ the ⌁ last ⌁ three ⌁ days ⌁ lets ⌁ fucking ⌁ go ⌁ lock ⌁ in ⌁ ⚡︎
Diamonds Droog.
fun facts of the day! an einstein-rosen bridge is what people usually mean when they say “wormhole,” even though the original idea was not really a fun sci-fi doorway you can just hop through with a backpack and a dog. einstein and rosen were looking at the math of general relativity, where gravity is not a force pulling things around like a leash, but the shape of spacetime itself. if spacetime can bend around a massive object, then under certain solutions to einstein’s equations, it can also form something like a tunnel connecting two different regions. imagine spacetime like a big stretchy sheet. a normal path from one point to another is like walking across the sheet: a ------------------------ b but if the sheet folds, those points can get closer: a \ \____ tunnel ____ b that tunnel is the einstein-rosen bridge. the classic version comes from the math of a black hole paired with a kind of mirror-object called a white hole. a black hole is something things can fall into but not escape. a white hole, mathematically, is something things can escape from but not enter. the “bridge” is the connection between them. the problem is: in the original theory, the bridge is not traversable. since it pinches shut too fast, you cant actually travel through it! not even light gets through it! so, if you tried to fly through one, youd get obliterated because the universe is a jerk! thats right. the universe sucks! an einstein-rosen bridge is a theoretical spacetime shortcut, predicted by the equations of general relativity, but the original kind is more like a mathematical “hey, this shape can exist” with no practical application. which is rude, but also very physics. but you know, theres probably some stupid exotic matter or negative energy bs or like, i dont know, green sun empowered individuals that could hold that throat open. but like. how would you find one of those?
ON A PLATFORM INHABITED ON THE DAILY BY A TURD-FLINGING ZOO OF PARADOX SPACE'S MOST FAMOUSLY SCATPANNED SLACK-MANDIBLED JABBERMONKEYS, WHO SHOULD I EXPECT TO DELIVER A SPARKLING NUGGET OF GENUINE FUCKING LEARNING BUT THE FLOWERY GREEN FUCKNUT WHO SOMEHOW MAKES YOUR TAXONOMICALLY DISGUSTING MAMMAL SPECIES FEEL *ALMOST* TOLERABLE TO ME. THE ORIGINAL GREEN THUMB, HERSELF. AND YES, I SAY "THUMB," NOT PRONGSTUMP, OUT OF A FUCKING CRUMB OF BEGRUDGING RESPECT FOR YOUR SPECIES. A CRUMB THAT NOT EVEN A SQUEAKBEAST WOULD NIBBLE ON. BUT YOU CAN HAVE IT, JADE HARLEY. YOU CAN HAVE THAT CRUMB. I WON'T LIE TO YOU. READING THIS BROUGHT THE CORNERS OF MY LIPS HIGHER TO THE CONTEMPTABLE NEAR-SMILE LINE THAN ANYTHING CHITTED ON THIS HELLSITE IN A LONG TIME. WHICH IS MY WAY OF SAYING THAT I'M NOT SMILING. BECAUSE I'M NOT. BUT YOU GOT ME *PRETTY* FUCKING CLOSE. SO TAKE THAT CRUMB, TOO. THERE. THAT'S TWO. I'M BEING SO FUCKING GENEROUS, RIGHT NOW. AND OF ALL THE REASON TO LIKE READING THIS, IT'S THAT IT REMINDS ME OF FLEET ACADEMY SCHOOLFEEDING. THIS IS GOING TO SOUND STUPID AS FUCK, BUT ONE OF MY STRONGEST SUBJECTS WAS ASTROPHYSICS. WHAT A BUNCH OF FUCKING PRATTLE IT WAS, THE PROPAGANDA ON MY PLANET. IT WOULD HAVE SICKENED YOUR SOFT, WEEPY HUMAN PALATE. OH, *EVERY* ALTERNIAN CITIZEN NEEDS TO LEARN THE BASICS OF INTERPLANETARY TRAVEL, FOR THE DAY THEY SERVE THE FLEET ON A GLORIOUS JOURNEY TO THE EMPIRE'S NEXT EXCITING NEW SYSTEM TO CONQUER AND SUBJUGATE, BLAH, BLAH, YADDA YADDA, KISS THE POSTER OF THE EMPRESS'S SHINY FAT ASS WHEN YOU WALK IN. THAT KIND OF INSUFFERABLE BULLSHIT. BUT YOU HAVE TO ADMIT, SOME PARTS OF PHYSICS ARE PRETTY FUCKING COOL. HEY, @grimbarkGuardian. YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD, THERE. OR AT LEAST GRAZED IT WITH A PATHETIC GLANCING BLOW. FUN FACT ABOUT FTL TRAVEL IN THE ALTERNIAN FLEET. OR AT LEAST, THIS COMES FROM THE SLOP THEY FED US IN THE TEXTSLABS. THERE'S A REASON YOU NEED LEGENDARILY STRONG PSIONICS TO MOVE A SPACESHIP. AND IT'S *NOT* BECAUSE OF THE SIZE OF THE SPACESHIP, EVEN THOUGH THAT DEFINITELY PLAYS A PART. IT'S BECAUSE THE THING YOU'RE ASKING THEM TO MOVE ISN'T THE SHIP. YOU FUCKING GUESSED IT. IT'S SPACETIME. I CAN'T SAY I KNOW ALL THE DETAILS MYSELF, GIVEN THAT I'M NOT A FUCKING PSIONIC, BUT I WAS AROUND ONE LONG ENOUGH TO CONNECT THE DOTS. AND WE WERE PRETTY CLOSE. A PSIONIC HAS TO BE ABLE TO "FEEL" OUT WHATEVER HE'S MOVING OR MANIPULATING. MATTER *IS* ENERGY, BECAUSE MATTER IS MADE OF STABLE FREQUENCIES AND ENERGY CAN THEREFORE AFFECT THOSE FREQUENCIES. THEREFORE, THE STRONGER THEIR PSIONICS, THE DEEPER THEIR FIELD OF CONSCIOUSNESS CAN EXTEND TO OTHER FIELDS OF MATTER. OTHER SUBSTANCES, EVEN ONES THAT YOU HUMANS WOULD CONSIDER THEORETICAL. AND YEAH. THEY CAN TOUCH THE FABRIC OF SPACETIME. THEY CAN GRIP THAT RATTY BLANKET AND YANK IT AROUND. IT CONTRACTS IN FRONT OF THE SHIP AND EXPANDS BEHIND IT. THE SHIP DOESN'T ACTUALLY MOVE AT ALL — SPACE MOVES AROUND *IT.* IT JUST FEELS LIKE FASTER-THAN-LIGHT TRAVEL TO THE AWESTRUCK DUMBFUCKS BEHIND THE HELM WHO ARE REALLY TURNING UP THE DIAL ON THEIR HELMSMAN'S TORMENT NEXUS. WE CALL IT THE ALKYOU BIERRE EFFECT. BUT YOU HUMANS PROBABLY HAVE SOME DUMB-SOUNDING EQUIVALENT NAME FOR IT, I'M SURE. NO, IT'S NOT MAKING A FUCKING EINSTEIN-ROSEN BRIDGE, WHICH IS ALSO A STUPID NAME, BY THE WAY. BUT THE KIND OF PSIONICALLY MALFEASANT PAN-DAMAGE YOU'D BE INFLICTING ON YOUR HELMSMAN TO PUNCH A NEW CHITINOUS WINDHOLE THROUGH SPACETIME ITSELF WOULD BASICALLY GUARANTEE THAT YOU NO LONGER HAD A HELMSMAN WHEN YOU WERE DONE. AND YOU'D HAVE TO HAVE A *PRETTY* STRONG PSIONIC TO EVEN DO THAT MUCH. SO OBVIOUSLY, IT WASN'T ATTEMPTED. ... OFTEN.
⚡︎ ⌁ i ⌁ dont ⌁ often ⌁ talk ⌁ about ⌁ anything ⌁ that ⌁ isn't ⌁ fiduspaWn...but ⌁ this ⌁ is ⌁ the ⌁ most ⌁ cohmerent ⌁ explanation ⌁ of ⌁ the ⌁ role ⌁ of ⌁ a ⌁ helm ⌁ i've ⌁ seen ⌁ in ⌁ a ⌁ long ⌁ time. ⌁ the ⌁ Way ⌁ i'd ⌁ best ⌁ describe ⌁ it ⌁ is...imagine ⌁ you ⌁ have ⌁ a ⌁ ball ⌁ on ⌁ a ⌁ piece ⌁ of ⌁ black ⌁ fabric. ⌁ you ⌁ Want ⌁ the ⌁ ball ⌁ off ⌁ of ⌁ the ⌁ fabric, ⌁ but ⌁ you ⌁ can't ⌁ touch ⌁ it. ⌁ so, ⌁ instead, ⌁ you ⌁ take ⌁ the ⌁ corners ⌁ of ⌁ one ⌁ end ⌁ of ⌁ the ⌁ fabric, ⌁ and ⌁ pull ⌁ it ⌁ to ⌁ the ⌁ ball, ⌁ then ⌁ pinch ⌁ a ⌁ piece ⌁ of ⌁ the ⌁ fabric ⌁ and ⌁ pull ⌁ upWards ⌁ to ⌁ the ⌁ ball ⌁ rolls ⌁ off ⌁ of ⌁ it. ⌁ the ⌁ ball ⌁ is ⌁ a ⌁ ship. ⌁ your ⌁ fingers ⌁ are ⌁ a ⌁ helmsman. ⌁ When ⌁ a ⌁ helm ⌁ is ⌁ plugged ⌁ into ⌁ the ⌁ SLITHR ⌁ (Shifting ⌁ Light ⌁ Inhibiting ⌁ Time ⌁ Holding ⌁ Redshift) ⌁ tentacles, ⌁ they're ⌁ hooking ⌁ their ⌁ thinkpan ⌁ directly ⌁ into ⌁ a ⌁ sensor ⌁ built ⌁ into ⌁ the ⌁ ship...Watt ⌁ this ⌁ sensor ⌁ does ⌁ is ⌁ essentially ⌁ amplify ⌁ the ⌁ helm's ⌁ reach. ⌁ Think ⌁ of ⌁ it ⌁ like...suddenly ⌁ you ⌁ have ⌁ these ⌁ big, ⌁ astral ⌁ arms. ⌁ You ⌁ can ⌁ grab ⌁ everything. ⌁ Suddenly, ⌁ you're ⌁ big ⌁ enough ⌁ to ⌁ pinch ⌁ the ⌁ fabric, ⌁ and ⌁ roll ⌁ the ⌁ ball. ⌁ All ⌁ you ⌁ have ⌁ to ⌁ do ⌁ is ⌁ ignore ⌁ your ⌁ oWn ⌁ doom ⌁ and ⌁ do ⌁ it. ⌁ No ⌁ matter ⌁ the ⌁ cost. ⌁ ⚡︎
⚡︎ ⌁ round ⌁ one ⌁ finished. ⌁ Who ⌁ brings ⌁ horsaroni ⌁ to ⌁ a ⌁ serious ⌁ tournament...? ⌁ ⚡︎
sOMEONE WHO WATCHED THE ANIME i GUESS, tHOUGH FRANKLY IN THIS META, i WOULD ALMOST PREFER hORSAPONI, hOLDING A LIGHT BALK,
⚡︎ ⌁ thank ⌁ god ⌁ someone ⌁ else ⌁ Who ⌁ actually ⌁ knoWs ⌁ their ⌁ shit. ⌁ ⚡︎
lIKE,,, iN DOUBLES IT HAS 1TS USES, bUT,,, i WON'T FAULT SOMEONE FOR PLAYING WITH, tHE1R FAVORITES, bUT IN A TOURNAMENT SETTING, mAYBE ALLOW YOUR FAVORITES TO BE DEC1DED BY, v1AB1LITY AND, hOW THEY MATCH UP AGAINST THE META AT THE TIME,,,
⚡︎ ⌁ exactly. ⌁ as ⌁ much ⌁ as ⌁ i ⌁ love ⌁ kiloWattrel. ⌁ i ⌁ only ⌁ brought ⌁ it ⌁ to ⌁ PNIC ⌁ championships ⌁ last ⌁ sWeep ⌁ because ⌁ it ⌁ paired ⌁ Well ⌁ as ⌁ an ⌁ anti-meta ⌁ pick ⌁ against ⌁ all ⌁ of ⌁ the ⌁ god ⌁ damn ⌁ sloW ⌁ heavy ⌁ hitters ⌁ running ⌁ around ⌁ (ursaluna ⌁ can ⌁ bite ⌁ me). ⌁ i ⌁ Wouldn't ⌁ bring ⌁ it ⌁ to ⌁ just ⌁ any ⌁ tourney. ⌁ ⚡︎
⚡︎ ⌁ Why ⌁ is ⌁ it ⌁ that ⌁ When ⌁ the ⌁ subject ⌁ of ⌁ empirical ⌁ politics ⌁ is ⌁ broached, ⌁ sparing ⌁ human ⌁ intellects ⌁ instantly ⌁ assume ⌁ the ⌁ most ⌁ ingratiating ⌁ posture ⌁ of ⌁ surrender ⌁ imaginable. ⌁ the ⌁ empire ⌁ is ⌁ not ⌁ that ⌁ difficult ⌁ to ⌁ understand. ⌁ have ⌁ you ⌁ really ⌁ never ⌁ experienced ⌁ political ⌁ oppression? ⌁ Wattever, ⌁ my ⌁ first ⌁ round ⌁ is ⌁ up. ⌁ ⚡︎
*imperial
⚡︎ ⌁ sorry, ⌁ kind ⌁ of ⌁ typing ⌁ on ⌁ a ⌁ time ⌁ crunch. ⌁ its ⌁ the ⌁ lack ⌁ of ⌁ sleep. ⌁ ⚡︎
hows everyones day today
⚡︎ ⌁ tense. ⌁ alWays ⌁ is ⌁ before ⌁ a ⌁ tournament. ⌁ but ⌁ We ⌁ move. ⌁ ⚡︎
⚡︎ ⌁ i ⌁ play ⌁ fiduspaWn. ⌁ its ⌁ fun, ⌁ but ⌁ the ⌁ stakes ⌁ are ⌁ high. ⌁ ⚡︎
⚡︎ ⌁ monster ⌁ breeding ⌁ and ⌁ fighting ⌁ game. ⌁ it's ⌁ kind ⌁ of ⌁ a ⌁ big ⌁ deal ⌁ in ⌁ the ⌁ empire... ⌁ are ⌁ you ⌁ stupid... ⌁ ⚡︎
⚡︎ ⌁ Watt ⌁ flavor ⌁ of ⌁ monster ⌁ do ⌁ i ⌁ drink ⌁ today? ⌁ ⚡︎
X Powderkeg blast is a good flavour x
WHO DID THIS. WHO DID THIS. WHO DID THIS. I'LL KILL THE _EXT LIVI_G THI_G I SEE SO HELP ME GOD.
