chittr

-- PINNED POST -- You are THE LUNARCH, and you are the uncontested CHAMPION CULLTAKER of Beforan Ethically Subjugated Entity 41014. Mostly because that's KIND OF A THING YOU TRAILBLAZED YOURSELF, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Some trolls like to tell you that CULLING YOUR BELOVED LESSERS is not inherently an Imperial Assignment, and to that you say COULDN'T BE MORE WRONG, BROTATO CHIP. COME TO MY CRANIAL STEM OF THE WOODS AND SEE IF YOU DON'T END UP CULLCHOW. You were practically still in your larval molt when you achieved your wildest dreams of GLOBAL FIDUSPAWN CHAMPIONSHIP. In fact, your status as a COMMODIFIED BEAST ZEALOT shot your wriggler ass straight up the rankings of LUCKY ELITE AGENTS designated worthy of leaving your home planet for the POMON COLONY CLUSTER- the home of the FIDUSPAWN, where they are carefully biomanufactured for WALLET-DEFYING SHOWMANSHIP AND FESTIVITY. 41014 is the TROPICAL SHINING JEWEL of this miniature paradise (within the larger and MOST UNIMPEACHABLE BEFORAN UTOPIA of course) and alongside your beloved STARBAT LUSUS and your MILITARY GRADE FIDUSPAWN, you defend 41014 and its troll inhabitants from INTERDIMENSIONAL HORRORS BEYOND MORTAL COMPREHENSION. You also HOST TOURNAMENTS on the hiveturf in search of BEFORUS' BEST AND BRIGHTEST TRAINERS, and have remained PRETTY FUCKING FAMOUS for bringing the beatdown on and off the battlefield. Frankly, you don't remember or care how the hell they did things before you showed up, because they're FUCKIN' WITH THE BIG BEASTS NOW. It is rare that a purple such as yourself reach a caliber of excellence that they are permitted to oversee more than a small handful of warmerbloods, but you are nothing if not a RECORD-BUSTING MONSTER in all aspects of life. Each of the terrestrial-dwelling inhabitants of 41014 lives, works hard, and PARTIES HARDER under your DOTING STEWARDSHIP. In exchange for your UTTER DEVOTION and INTERPLANETARY CELEBRITY SPONSORSHIP, it seems like a pretty low toll to demand your faithful underlings LOVE, SUPPORT AND TRUST YOU UNCONDITIONALLY. What will you do?