Marten Deimos
@aphoticAcumen
Cerm took my old acc for PR purposes, so this is a new one and no one tell them about it, OK? Ofically the Terrific Overseer of PD Colony Systems, but let's be "chill" here.
One doesn't feel MM sweeps old. About until one loses a fucking argument with a fucking holograph projector.
OH deaar... HOw did thaat haappen? DO you need me to kkiss it better?
I tried to full-screen the projection. Which. Uh. Does not work with 3D holographs. On the account of them not having screens and all that. Kiss would be appreciated.
OH, my daarling, you aare aan aabsolute oaaf sometimes, you kknow thaat? WOrry not, for I aam coming to your rescue. BUt I aam not touching aany technologies, I aam only there to comfort you
It's just that these things change every fifty sweeps and at thsi point there's been too many of them. But according to Cerm I can't just whip out a SLID<—E—SHOW projector fro the central buro anymore. It's "Outdated" and "backwater technology" or whatever. IIID holographs are the current thing we are using.
I must saay, I haave never seen aa single 503 holograaph, but now I aam intrigued... I aapologise for the distaasteful jest, I shaall see myself out. But thaat is quite the shaame, aa slideshow sounds perfectly good to me
What you've spelled is OBVIOUSLY written as DIII. If you really wanna be a bass like that then at the very fucking least interpret it as four hundreds and ninety-seven.
engaging vaguely theological debate with the current circus meeting. I... think it is going W<—E—LL? They might not turn out the most devout, but as long as they get to keep the face paint they are probably going to be a solid foundation of the #CultOfTheKharnate so I am taking this as baby steps.
"I hate handling a colony system," I say repeatedly and loudly as I absolutely R<—E—FUS<—E— to hand the colony over to anyone else because Orphaner's juicy tits, whoever keeps asking to handle my colony is even L<—E—SS qualified than I.
BUt you could reaally use aa vaacaation. LOokk, even I would leaave you in peaace, if you JUST tookk some time off
Chub, I can leave for five minutes without the clown entourage kicking up some hoofbeast shit of prime quality. Vacation is entirely out of question until I find a suitable Proxxy Overseer.
AAnd let me guess, you caannot fit lookking for one into your schedule. LOokk, I caannot exaactly help with thaat, I kknow you do not trust me aalone in the kkitchen, let aalone with finding you aa suitaable substitute for when you need to rest, but could CErm not lookk for someone?
The complication got situated. <--<—E—--ヾ(≧ ▽ ≦)ゝ (That's me, throwing a harpoon at it.)
YOu never ceaase to aamaaze me (aaffectionaate). WHaat haappened this time?
Moon imploded.
Yup. Hate it. Such is life.
I can multitask. Come sit in my lap while I send a shitton of <—E—X—X—TR<—E—M<—E—LY pissed email and maybe yell at people. We can tell people you are there for their protection. I can’t cull them for incompetence when I have a cute boy on my thighs.
I likke how you thinkk. VEry well, then, let me slip into something more formaal - we would not waant them to thinkk I do not belong there
The fish market is in shambles.
This sounds like the setup to a joke. But it's probably just ruinous cod.
Words cannot exxpress how much I FUCKING WISH this was a set up to a STUPID FISH PUN.
Alright, TG, YOU are now in charge of this stupid fish pun, I am off to ensure everyone gets to eat something in the upcoming two perigees.
Had to grab my troll word flashcards for that one. Okay she fish on my post till i market my shambles
Moral dilemma: If I DON'T pick up my redmate from where he's fallen asleep on the floor, he'll wake up sore and uncomfortable. If I DO pick him up and throw him on the loungeplank or even in the coon, he'll never learn that shit choices result in shit consequences.
Says Cerm.
That sounds like an <—E—X—X—C<—E—PTIONALLY good way to get my matesprit hurt. I am going to side with Cerm on this one.
Have you ever seen what a budget meeting of purples looks like five minutes into it? Of course you haven't, you wouldn't have asked otherwise.
◣_◢ Oh, yeah, TThaTT makes sense. JusTT keep him close, duh. Come on man.
I am keeping him in my private blocks. On... the floor, yeah. But I threw a cape over him so he won't be cold. I think that compromises the dilemma. Somewhat?
THis explaains everything, thaankk you. AAnd I aapologise for thaat unseemly displaay
I swear, people are inventing WHOL<—E— N<—E—W CUTL<—E—RY when I am not looking. I bet it is purely just to spite me. The fuck is this? Not to be the guy who says "back in my day", but I distinctly recall the times when we used a stick if we felt like eating fancy and II sticks if we were being pretentious assholes.
WHAT TH<—E— FUCK IS A SPORK?????????
It's all FINS as long as I don't have to manage that bullshit on my own. You kids do as you please.
MUst you maakke such horrible puns aall the time? I aam going to gaag you, I sweaar
It's not ALL the time, only when I am under a significant emotional strain.
... YOu kknow, thaat is very telling, since you taalkk likke thaat aall the time. I aam worried aabout you
Did you know that managing a colony system is sort of stressful if you want to have it with alive people in it?Would you like to see the exxcel spreadsheets I have here? (That is a rhetorical question, don't look at my exxcel spreadsheets. You might get judgemental.)
YEs, I waas aawaare, you big oaaf. THaat does not stop me from worrying aand I will draag you aawaay from the workk deskk aand leaarn to forge your signaature myself, if I haave to, so you caan finaally get some proper fuckking rest
..........please?
OF course. GIve me aa couple nights aand do NOT let CErm find this
Pro tip I: You can derail any meeting by asking out loud if sashimi is considered cannibalism for fishdwellers. Pro tip II: If anyone dodges the question in a smartass move, ask if roast mealworms are cannibalism for bugdwellers. Pro tip III: Don't let your Cerm to find out you've left the meeting room and let everyone in there escalate to #violence Pro tip IV: Cerm usually doesn't look into the armory.
Cannibalism is defined as the consumption of eating part or all of something of the same species -- Anyone with a brain would not give pause at the first question.
/)kay but is it?
FISH: LOTS OF THEM “””CANNIBALS”””. NOT BIG DEAL
DO you need me to come pickk you up?
I am fine. Cerm has other stuff to do, so once they are too busy, I'll slip back.
Tips! #juniorbadgedyou #checkyoursettings
I've looked up the definition and CRING<—E— is a verb meaning either bowing or flinching in fear. I don't do either, so it does not apply to me. Do I end the meeting in #violence over this Y/Y?
Updated my profile to be more <—E—mpire compliant. #survival
Always a pleasure to see oneself on someone's shipping chart and seeing your two names in potential pale with attached note "t4ke 1 4 the team" #sarcasm
SHaall I bite someone for you?
Yes, me, please. ASAP
Very well then, we are apparently sharing pictures. BF looked cute., I'm going to keep him and everyone else can be <—E—NVIOUS. #nsfw https://i.postimg.cc/6pQk1VBG/blood.png (<—E—DIT: Wait fuck how does sharing pictures work?) (<—E—DIT II: Ha! I've got it!!!!!!!!!) ((OOC: this is also @nebulousIlluminator 's art))
Oh.
((HOLY WOW......))
I aam proud of you, you aare going to leaarn to operaate aa paalm huskk in no time
Pro tip: Never ask your Grandmaster of Ceremonial Protocol why they are screaming into a cuddle lump. You're going to L<—E—ARN STUFF. And then have R<—E—GR<—E—TS and possible even worse, OPINIONS on the stuff.
OH, do I waant to kknow whaat haappened?
In a nutshell: Their soap opera OTP broke up.
Cerm is screaming into a cuddle lump. I am afraid to ask. But it MIGHT be IMPORTANT.
A little midnight power nap between meetings. Tallies on the disaster still being counted.
IX dead, XXVII injured, I mortified. #violence #whoops
THaat is even not your personaal record, is it?
Nope! That one comes in quadruple digits. But it was also C<—E—NTISW<—E—E—PS ago so waterver. Point is a little nap has a body count.
Ship crashed.
I was not even supposed to do any steering. But I just closed my eyes for NIN<—E— minutes and BLAM.
PSA to all assassins: The water fountains, aquariums, pools, waterfalls and all that jazz is NOT D<—E—CORATIV<—E—. I repeat it is NOT D<—E—CORATIV<—E—.
Whose fucking G<—E—NIUS BULLFISH idea it was to give the OV<—E—RS<—E—E—R post to the guy with FUCK TH<—E—M COPS WITH A HARPOON attitude? #MyJobHatesMe
That's the whole point of sea puns.
I shaall be taakking it aas aan aattaackk directed aat my person, thaankk you very much
Well I guess I am krilling you to pisces, beclaws I am shellfish like that.
Don't worry about what I am not getting and start worrying about what YOU are going to get o((>ω< ))o (Also, note how there is no boat in there.)
THaankk you, I aam ever so graateful. AAnd my, my, is thaat resisting the police, I heaar?
Resisting? Perish the thought. Bribing? I might be.
SANMICH!!!!!!!!!
New levels of procrastination unlocked: I am not a PASSIONAT<—E— polypipe keyboard player.
IS it possible to free you of its grip?
Provide a better procrastination that also gives me the exxcuse not to hear the people telling me to stop.
Caved in and started reading the Pointy Hat Hivery and I am not sure what to focus on. Power of friendship? The vacillating flushed quads? Also at least one of those books is just a cookbook disguised as #manga the fuck is the art about nowadays?
AAbout love aand food, cleaarly, I suggest you get with the prograam
But where is the doomed old men yaoi?????????
Problem I with that: I have a day job Problem II with that: You're not even XXI, get OLD<—E—R we can do DOOM<—E—D whenever.
PErtaaining to problem II - I aassumed I waas not the only one you were seeing. AAs ones of your staatus usuaally do. AAnd given your aage, it maade sense to me for aat leaast one of the trolls in your throngs of aadmirers to be aat leaast aapproximaately your aage
Well whale well. Your assumption was <—E—NTIR<—E—LY wrong. (See: Problem with that I)
OH my, then I aam flaattered you occaasionaally maakke time in your busy nights for me