EIVALL BESBOL
@battaSwing
UNDEFEATED SLAUGHTER SPHERE CHAMPION SUPER STRIKER. BETTER THAN THE REST. ALL OF THEM. EVERY SINGLE ONE. I'M THE BEST. BELIEVE IT.
READ ALL ABOUT IT — [ What the fuck is pailing season. #nsfw ]
-------============(((◯ I THINK THEY MEAN BASEBALL SEASON. WHICH IS THE IMPROPER AND LAMER NAME FOR #SLAUGHTERSPHERE. BECAUSE #SLAUGHTERSPHERE IS COMING UP AND THE GARRETSGRUB STADIUM IS ALMOST FINISHED.
-------============(((◯ IT'S SLAUGHTER SPHERE SEASON. GET YOUR BATTUR RUNMAN MEAL AT TROLL WENDY'S FOR A CHANCE TO WIN A FREE SEASON PASS TO THE GARRETTSGRUB STADIUM GAMES THIS YEAR. DON'T FORGET - WHILE SUPPLIES LAST, GET FREE SLAUGHTER SPHERE MERCHANDISE ALONGSIDE YOUR MEAL. #SLAUGHTERSPHERE @homerunKing #SLAUGHTERSEASON
BATTER UP < LEGAL KEEPS CALLING ME AND I'M CERTAIN IT'S REGARDING MY ROLE IN ASKING YOU TO MAKE THIS CHITT. I'M NOT GOING TO FUCKING PICK UP THE PALMHUSK. > HOMERUN
-------============(((◯ DON'T WORRY. THE FREE SEASON TICKETS GIVEAWAY WAS MY IDEA. YOUR GUYS AREN'T PAYING FOR THAT.
BATTER UP < FOLLOW UP ON MY LAST POST. THIS PART ISN'T AN AD BUT PLEASE YOU HAVE TO GO BUY THAT FUCKING MEAL. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY FUCKING TERMINATOR'S THEMED SLAUGHTER SPHERE SKULLCAPS, BATTUR RUNMAN EDITION WE HAVE. IT'S SERIOUSLY A FUCKTON. LIKE I CAN'T BELIEVE THE FACTORY ALLOWED THEM TO ORDER THAT FUCKING MANY. THEY TOLD ME HOW MANY THEY HAD GOT AND I SAID "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? ARE YOU STUPID?" MY LAST TEN MEALS HAVE BEEN THE BATTUR RUNMAN MEAL AND THAT'S ONLY ACROSS TWO DAYS. I SERIOUSLY NEED SOME FUCKING HELP HERE PLEASE. > HOMERUN
BATTER UP < LISTEN THIS IS REALLY NOT THE TIME BUT DO A #AD FOR THIS AND I CAN MAYBE PUT YOU IN CONTACT WITH TROLL SUBWAY. I KNOW YOU'VE ALWAYS FUCKED WITH THEM. > HOMERUN
Interesting! .___ddd bbb___, ._d b_, .d ** b, .d ************ b, . *** *** , .d ** ***** * b, d *** *** *** ** L d * ** *** * ** b +--------------------------------+ d * ** * ** ** b +--------------------------------+ q * * ***** * p q * ** *** *p 'q *** ********* **p` ' *** ** ` 'q **** *****p` 'Y *********** Y` 'Tq pT` ''TYYYY YYYYT`` #sucker @caliBorn
-------============(((◯ _ ____ __ / \ .' '. ____......------""""""""````` `\ | `::-/'-....-'\--""``` | | :: | | | | ,:'-\.-''''-./--..___ / \_/ '.____.' ````````````"""""""------------'
-------============(((◯ ATTEMPT TWO. _ ____ __ / \ .' '. ____......------""""""""````` `\ | `::-/'-....-'\--""``` | | :: | | | | ,:'-\.-''''-./--..___ / \_/ '.____.' ````````````"""""""------------'
HEY. FuCK YOu. GuY.
-------============(((◯ SWING AND A MISS. YOU DO NOT PHASE ME. BONES BOY.
people get too comfortable posting stuff on here...
-------============(((◯ MAYBE THOSE PEOPLE SHOULD BE CRUMPLED UP INTO SCREAMSPHERE BALLS AND GIVEN A TASTE OF THE EIVALL BESBOL EXPERIENCE. THAT IS TO SAY, SMASHED. THIS WILL TEACH THEM A VALUABLE LIFE LESSON PROBABLY.
BATTER UP < MY ROOKIE YEAR. THE OUTGLUT ALLSTARS. AN EARLY POINT IN MY CAREER, BUT AN IMPORTANT ONE. AND WHO WAS THE STAR BATTER? @BATTASWING - BUT YOU KNOW THAT DIDN'T LAST FUCKING LONG WHEN I GOT ON THE FUCKING SCENE. YOU KNOW EIVALL, IT'S SURPRISING TO ME YOU EVEN GOT THE CONTRACT TO BE ON THAT TEAM. I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU CLOSED THAT FUCKING DEAL. BECAUSE YOU'VE NEVER CLOSED ANYTHING *EVER*. YOU'RE NOT A CLOSER. YOUR JOB IS TO HIT YOUR PATHETIC LITTLE SINGLE, GET ON BASE, AND THAT'S FUCKING IT. YOU DON'T HAVE THE ICE COLD VEINS LIKE ME. I WAS BORN TO COMPETE. THEY PUT YOU IN IN THE 6TH OR 7TH INNINGS FOR ME. THEY PUT YOU IN, SO BATTUR RUNMAN CAN COME IN AND CLOSE THE FUCKING DEAL. BECAUSE *I AM A FUCKING CLOSER.* > HOMERUN
-------============(((◯ GET REAL. YOU WERE NEVER ABLE TO BEAT MY PURE SKILL. BUT NO AMOUNT OF PINCHES AND SPRINKLES OF FORTUNE AND WISHES MAKE UP FOR YOUR TRACK RECORD. YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T KNOW IF I'VE EVER STOPPED AT A BASE IN MY LIFE. BECAUSE I RUN FUCKING CIRCLES AROUND THAT TRACK. AND BEFORE YOU RUINED THE GOOD NAME OF SLAUGHTER SPHERE? MY LEGACY PERCOLATED THROUGH IT LIKE THE PISS YOU SOAKED YOUR RECUPERACOON IN UNTIL YOU WERE THREE SWEEPS OLD. WHEN YOU LEAVE THIS SPORT AND CRUMPLE UP INTO A BALL. YOU WILL BE BATTED AWAY AND REPLACED. BUT IT'S MY TECHNIQUE THEY LOOK UP TO. THAT'S MY LEGACY. AND CULLING A BUNCH OF LOUSY PITCHERS SO YOU CAN GET AN EASY RUN WILL NEVER MAKE UP FOR WHAT YOU DON'T HAVE THAT I DO. SKILL.
BATTER UP < PATHETIC. TRULY PATHETIC ARE WE PICKING AND CHOOSING WHICH RULES OF SLAUGHTER SPHERE ARE "THE GOOD ONES" NOW? EVERY PLAYER STEPS ON TO THAT FIELD READY TO FUCKING DIE. AND FOR THAT, I CAN RESPECT THEM, NO MATTER HOW PATHETICALLY THEY MAY TRY TO STRIKE ME OUT. BUT YOU? YOU'RE A COWARD. "I DON'T WANT TO KILL THE PITCHERS!" FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. YOU'RE NOT JUST DISRESPECTING THE POSITION OF PITCHER AT A CORE LEVEL, BUT YOU'RE DISRESPECTING THE ENTIRE SPORT. IF YOU WANT TO TALK "TRACK RECORD" LET'S TALK TRACK RECORD. I AM THE *ONLY* BATTER IN HISTORY WITH A 1.002 BATTING AVERAGE. I BET YOU CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO PROCESS THAT. I HAVE GOTTEN MORE PEOPLE ON BASE THAN TIMES I HAVE EVEN SWUNG THE FUCKING BAT. "IMPOSSIBLE! THE RULES DON'T EVEN ALLOW FOR THAT!" THIS GAME BENDS TO MY FUCKING WILL. I AM SLAUGHTER SPHERE AND IT IS ME. YOU HAVE NO FUCKING HOPE. > HOMERUN
-------============(((◯ IT'S CHEAP AND IT'S BORING. IT'S THE EASY WAY OUT. YOU'RE TAKING THEM OUT ONE AT A TIME AND YOU'RE TAKING FUCKING TURNS. WHAT IS THIS? FIDUSPAWN? ARE YOU A FUCKING WRIGGLER? YOU DENY YOUR TEAM THE SATISFACTION OF CHARGING OUT THERE AND BEATING THOSE FIELDERS TO DEATH WITH THEIR FISTS AS YOU LEAVE THE PITCHER SHIVERING IN FEAR KNOWING WHAT AWAITS THEM. YOU DON'T CULL THEM FIRST UNLESS YOU'RE A LITTLE BITCH WHO SUCKS AT THE GAME AND/OR YOU KNOW YOU ARE. YOU MEET MOST OF, IF NOT ALL OF, THOSE CRITERIA. THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU ON THE FIELD I'M GONNA SPLIT YOUR WHINY LITTLE SCALP OPEN WITH MY BAT WHILE YOUR BACK IS TURNED. THEN WE'LL SEE HOW FUN IT IS. PUNK ASS BITCH.
BATTER UP < I'D BE CAREFUL IF I WERE YOU. YOUR BAT WOULD PROBABLY FUCKING BREAK. MIGHT PUT YOUR ARM OUT. YOUR SWING CAN HARDLY HIT A BALL INTO THE OUTFIELD, WHAT HOPE DO YOU EVEN HAVE TO DAMAGE ME? PLUS, AREN'T YOU A SHORT LITTLE RUNT? DO YOU NEED TO BALANCE ON THE BATTING TEE TO EVEN REACH MY FUCKING HEAD? WE BOTH KNOW MOST OF THE REASON YOU EVEN HAD A HALF-DECENT BATTING AVERAGE ALL THOSE SWEEPS AGO WAS BECAUSE YOUR STRIKE ZONE WAS *SO* FUCKING LOW, MOST PITCHERS DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO THROW TO YOU. YOU ARE A GENETIC ANOMALY THAT WILL LEAVE A SMUDGE ON THE HISTORY OF SLAUGHTER SPHERE. THIS MESSAGE CHAIN RIGHT HERE WILL BE YOUR ONLY MARK IN THE ANNALS OF HISTORY. THEY'LL REMEMBER YOU AS THE PEST THAT THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME, BATTUR RUNMAN, DISPATCHED OF WITH FUCKING EASE. > HOMERUN
-------============(((◯ ALL THESE SWEEPS AND IT STILL NEVER CLICKED IN HIS ATOMICALLY MINISCULE THINKPAN. IT'S A CHANGE IN COMPOSURE. OF STATURE. THE PITCHERS ARE FAR AWAY AND THEY'RE BLIND AND FOOLISH. AND I GET A BETTER VANTAGE POINT ON ALL THEIR THROWS. YOU KNOW DAMN WELL NOT EVEN AFTER YOUR GROWTH SPURT COULD YOU COMPARE TO ME. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IT MEANS TO "MOVE" OR TO "ANGLE" OR TO STRATEGISE IN ANY WAY OTHER THAN TAKING CHEAPER AND CHEAPER SHOTS WHENEVER YOU GET THE CHANCE. ME? I'M BEYOND A GYMNAUSIATIST. I'M GODDAMN PERFECTION. AND YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT THAT I'M AN ANOMALY. AN ANOMALY OF WILLPOWER AND SKILLPOWER BLENDED TOGETHER FINELY IN A HORRIFIC CONGEALED MASS OF BLOOD, WRATH AND A FEW HANDFULS OF PROTEIN CHIPS. BECAUSE THERE WILL NEVER AGAIN BE ANOTHER BATTER LIKE ME. NOT EVEN YOU. NOT EVEN CLOSE.
BATTER UP < YEAH. I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT. THERE WILL NEVER EVER BE ANOTHER BATTER LIKE YOU. BECAUSE IT WOULD BE THE DEATH OF OUR FUCKING SPORT. LET'S DO AWAY WITH ALL THE BATS. LET'S GET RID OF THE BASES. LET'S JUST THROW AROUND A BALL AND HAVE OUR LARGEST GUYS CHARGE EACH OTHER. THAT'S WHAT YOU FUCKING SOUND LIKE. I CULL PEOPLE ON THE FIELD, NO DOUBT. BUT THERE'S COUNTERPLAY. CATCH MY FUCKING BALL. DO ANYTHING TO TRY AND STOP ME. IT IS NO A FAULT OF MY OWN THAT THEY *CAN'T*. I AM AN UNSTOPPABLE HITTER AND YOU SIMPLY WANT TO DRAG ME DOWN TO YOUR PATHETIC LEVEL. > HOMERUN
-------============(((◯ RUNMAN, RUNMAN. YOU HIT WELL. I DO NOT DOUBT THAT. IF I HAD DOUBTS ABOUT YOUR INTEGRITY AS A PLAYER I'D THINK YOUR BAT WAS FULL OF CORK. OR MAYBE LEAD. THIS IS ALSO PART OF MY PROBLEM. YOU REMEMBER WHEN THEY STANDARDISED THOSE WIMPCAGE HELMS IN TABLE STICKBALL? AND INSTEAD OF AWESOME ATHLETIC ACTION. AND BRUTAL BALL-BASHING. IT'S JUST GUYS BUMPING INTO EACHOTHER NOW. THIS IS HOW I VIEW YOUR SLAUGHTER SPHERE PERFORMANCES. YOU HAVE SUCKED THE OVERALL LIFE OUT OF IT IN EXCHANGE FOR BRIEF HYPE MOMENTS IN WHICH YOU KILL THE PITCHERS IN ONE-ON-ONE ENCOUNTERS LIKE IN 'TWELVE YEAR OLD CHILD FINDS METEOR ON MOUNTAIN; BEETLE FROM THE FUTURE INFORMS HIM OF HIS DESTINY TO TEAM UP WITH THREE OTHER CHILDREN AND DESTROY A GREAT ALIEN EVIL'. FOR THE TROLL SUPER NINTENDO. WHICH I'M SURE YOU'D LOVE. BECAUSE THE PROTAGONIST SOLVES ALL HIS PROBLEMS BY HITTING THEM WITH A BAT. LIKE YOU.
>>| @battaswing @homerunking you may now kiss .in this pitch relationship.
BATTER UP < I WOULD NEVER FUCKING LOWER MYSELF TO THAT. JUST BEING IN THE SAME ROOM AS THAT PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR AN "ATHLETE" WOULD DIMINISH MY HITTING PROWESS EXPEDITIOUSLY. > HOMERUN
-------============(((◯ BECAUSE THE TERROR OF BEING IN THE PRESENCE OF SOMEONE ACTUALLY COMPETENT MAKES YOU SHIT YOURSELF IN FRIGHT?
BATTER UP < YOU COULD NOT EVEN RAISE A SINGLE FUCKING HAIR ON MY ARMS. YOU ARE GENUINELY FUCKING PATHETIC. > HOMERUN
-------============(((◯ THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE A HAIRLESS AND UGLY FREAK. BUT I'M NOT PICKING ON YOU FOR YOUR APPEARANCE, BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE BENEATH ME. I'M PICKING ON YOU FOR BEING A FRAUD, A LOSER, A PUNK ASS BITCH, AND POSSIBLY MORE. FUCK YOU.
-------============(((◯ HE'S A DISGRACE TO THE SPORT. AND NO ONE CARES! HE JUST ROBS ALL THE TEAM'S EFFORT FOR HIMSELF. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE FIELD BRAWLS? THE MAULING OF MEN AS THAT BALL PASSED FROM BLOODSOAKED HAND TO BLOODSOAKED HAND ON ITS WAY BACK TO THE BASES, WHERE - IF LUCKY - IT WOULD BE BEATEN INTO THE RUNNER'S CRANIUM? SURE. HE GETS SOME FLASHY SHOTS. AND SOME MOMENTS OF HYPE. BUT AT THE COST OF THE WHOLE GAME. IT'S NOT SPORT ANYMORE. IT'S LACKLUSTRE ENTERTAINMENT.
-------============(((◯ IF BEING 'ON HIS LEVEL' MEANS I'M A POISON TO MY TEAM. TO MY FANS. AND TO THE SPORT - IE, THAT LEVEL BEING THE BOTTOM LEVEL OF HELL ITSELF - I NEVER WANT TO BE.