Bronson Strider
@bronSon
too many dipshit 'alternates' of me that go by 'dirk'. not even a sword. dude's a dagger. if i changed my name to be a weapon it would be like. kit short for kitana, which is a totally bad ass, gender neutral name belonging to my main in mk. or maybe clay moore. or something sick like that. not fucking dirk.
hey champ. pick up that sword.
that will be the last time darren in 45b challenges my authority on the communal laundry machines. i have smuppets to wash and a business to run.
currently it's based off of humans. but. i've been talking with trolls and the like to get feedback. expand my market. #nsfw
alternian dictionary for people who keep asking what obvious words mean. aggravation sponge headache. what you give people when you say "actually, on alternia—" anguish bladder the organ behind the forehead that stores dismay fluid. which explains a lot about the posting here. auricular sponge clots / hear ducts ears. the things you have and still don't use. bellowsacs lungs. used for breathing, yelling, and turning every minor disagreement into theater. blood pusher / pump biscuit / thump tortoise heart. different words for the same organ. some of you are still missing one. bulge appendage. maybe shoulder. maybe back. maybe hand. maybe something worse. use context clues. or don't. most don't. chitinous windhole / squawk gaper / squeal pipette throat. the vertical instrument through which bad opinions escape. frond / prong / point stump hand, leg, finger, whatever. basically, if it sticks out and does something stupid, it has a name. ganderbulb / glance nugget eye. for observing posts before replying to them. advanced technique. hemospectrum blood caste system. a normal thing to build a society around if your planet was designed by a dmv with teeth. ignorance tunnel mouth or throat, specifically when used for idiot noises. highly active organ on this platform. meal tunnel / protein chute eating hole. same general zone as the ignorance tunnel, but less tragic. nook crevice. entrance. sometimes throat. sometimes ass. great word. terrible conversation. nub any lump. shoulder, chest, knee, horns. a word with the precision of a drunk guy pointing at furniture. nugbone / thinkpan / sponge head or brain. in theory. posture pole / torso pillar spine. rare. endangered. frequently absent in replies. recuperacoon sopor slime sleeping pod. bed for people who need pharmaceuticals to experience a blanket. wiggler baby troll. also any larval child thing. most adults on here are spiritually still this. hive house. where you live when you aren't making your personality everyone else's problem. respiteblock bedroom. the room you should go to before posting. rumpusblock recreation room. the room where you should have kept that thought. meal block kitchen. place where food is made. not a metaphor. calm down. thermal hull / hunger trunk fridge. rich trolls apparently say fridge because even alternian aristocrats know when a phrase sucks. nutrition plateau plate. if you needed this one defined, don't breed. scalding leaf fluid tea. hot leaf water with class pretensions. breeze blender fan. what shit hits when the group chat learns screenshots exist. dong shouter / peal screamer bell. object that makes a noise. like you, but useful. dross coffer / offal drum trash can. where drafts go. ideally. escalation zigzags / zigzag incline stairs. a hostile architectural concept for anyone built like me. falldown slat skateboard. accurate. no notes. husktop / palmhusk laptop / phone. portable devices for making yourself permanently available to nonsense. snuggleplane blanket. unironically good. they cooked here. loungeplank couch. a plank for lounging. brutalist. honest. respectable. barkbeast / purrbeast / hoofbeast / woolbeast dog, cat, horse, sheep. alternian animal names are just sound effect plus beast. infantile, but consistent. buzzbug / stingbug / ripperwasp bee, hornet, wasp-like problem. bug taxonomy by how badly it ruins your day. dirt noodle worm. also good. annoyingly good. honkbird goose. no further refinement needed. that is the animal. trunkbeast elephant. one of the only times the naming system shows restraint. bury the thresher bury the hatchet. make peace. usually said by people who already sharpened another thresher. flip your thinkpan flip your lid. panic. spiral. make fourteen posts. call it discourse. spill the fart niblets spill the beans. a phrase engineered to punish everyone in the room. weakslime weaksauce. what your comeback was. wild honkbird chase wild goose chase. most callout threads. without a bean in your thinkpan stupid. finally, an efficient phrase. use more often.
hey. if you can't handle your emotions getting tweaked. your rage being baited. people being assholes. maybe you shouldn't be on the asshole alien website. say whatever you want to me. don't care. if you're too weak to take it. don't be here.
hate to tell you this but the meta ray bans i strap to my face aren't great at picking up speech to text mistakes such as euphonism (harmonious sound) versus euphemism (dirty joke). however. my blade does make a harmonious sound.
cant even type your own posts. must be bad with your fingers then.
too busy slicing up my apartment just enough for the landlord to not withhold the deposit.
Could always upgrade. #CanItRunHAL
my sword is not a euphonism. my blade is just that awe inspiring you confuse it for my junk. #suggestive i guess.
how it feels to interact with this platform. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/1e88cd333d25.png
trolls have weaker worldviews than i thought.
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/32bb06a606d5.png this you? also tag your shit, idiot. #nsfw
here's my brononymous confession. i'd fight pretty much anyone here anytime. i'd marry none of you. pay your rent before you pay the piper by fighting me.
you know. its the internet. you're already basically anonymous. if you're that much of a coward you need to be double anonymous, maybe log off.
yeah I post my whole ass face and government name on here I dunno how anonymous this is
multiverse. also you post more than your face. regardless, it's so defensible.
if there was any risk your freaky alien government would have you vaporized. there's not. oh no. social stigma? who gives a fuck?
oh wow. a friend of a friend, huh? why should i care? don't attribute qualities like that to me. i don't care what they post. it's the practice of cowardice i despise. either put yourself out there fully, or keep it in. you don't get to mix and match and play by made up rules of engagement then bitch about it when it doesn't work out for you. maybe your friend should have stayed hidden. also. imagine getting handled by a clown. darwinism.
congratulations on winning bingo now. do something useful. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/24cb156c66dd.png
you all keep asking who i am? isn't this a text based website? fucking illiterate.
when your blade hits mine. don't bitch about it breaking.
i could go for 5 guys. in a fight.
seeing shit. but that's fine.
Stop looking in the toilet bowl.
