Vesica The Bulge Curator
@bulgeCurator
Bulge Review Applications: Open https://forms.gle/DmmgXsJyGTLKVPfa9 Profile art by SpookyPoopet
꧁@scratchDoctor @caliBorn @handMaid whenarewe doing the FeltMaidCafe youlikemaidsright? letsgeteveryone in maidoutifts. noooow.꧂
Can Casper come be a maid?
YOu VASTLY uNDERESTIMATE THE CONSEQuENCES OF SuCH A RECKLESS ASS ODDBALL DECISION. BuT. THERE IS SOMETHING OF A SERIES OF LOOSELY COORDINATED WHISPERS OF A REGuLAR FELT OPEN HOuSE. THAT HAVE BEEN BROuGHT TO MY ATTENTION. I WILL NOT BEGRuDGE THE POSSIBILITY OF AN ACCOMPANYING WARDROBE CHANGE. AND JANKY ASS THEME. TO ENSuRE ALL GATHERED AND HOSTING. ARE THOROuGHLY DEMORALIZED AGAINST FLEEING. DIGNITY NOT INTACT.
#ALREADYTHERE. #ALREADYSTRIPPING.
꧁yes.꧂
꧁okay!꧂
꧁youwill lookwonderful sir.꧂
DO NOT SIGN CHECKS WITH YOuR MOuTH. THAT YOuR TIGHTLY PuCKERED LITTLE STICK OCCuPIED SPHINCTER CANNOT CASH. THAT IS NOT YOuR CALL TO MAKE. WITHOuT CLARIFYING A LIKE OF CREDIT. YOu BuMBLING BuLGE BEHOLDING BuFFOON. I WILL NOT BE uNDERMINED.
꧁but whatis a good eunuch vizier if notsomeone who undermines you, sir??꧂
did y0u kn0w that chittr has a security functi0n where, if y0u type y0ur passw0rd, it will aut0matically cens0r the text? f0r example, mine is ********. it's a great way t0 keep y0ur acc0unt safe. #funfacts
꧁IwanttheEmpresstoturnmeintoalittlepreciousdollandkeepmeinacasewhereshecanlookatmeandadmiremeforevereverandeverandigettowatchwhatshedoes123$꧂
anyways. time to consume my flavorless sludge from a bag with a tube. deeeeelicious.
꧁wehave similarfood! ----o>o----꧂
i pity you, truly. nobody should suffer this.
꧁----o'<'o---- i like it꧂
to each their own.
꧁#ourslop꧂
꧁Whocares about DirkJake. I am much more invested in what happened to the Immortal Snail...꧂
It is inside us all.
꧁Yuck꧂
꧁Chittr was I cooler before you know what I was like?꧂
༊࿐ ✤ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ I dhink dhat you are wongerful just dhe way you are. Your audhenticity is also wongerful ༊࿐ ✤ ⊹ ࣪ ˖
꧁Thankyouhighblood.꧂
there's nothing (ooler than being 7ourself!
I think you're still cool.
꧁:| I meant like. The mystique of the original bulgefreak persona...꧂
꧁Thanks.꧂
༊࿐ ✤ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ You are very welcome. Please go not allow any harsh worgs to neggatively impact your configence! I hope dhat none are saig to you as a result of your questioninggs. I will be gisappointeg in dhose ingiviguals if it becomes dhe case ༊࿐ ✤ ⊹ ࣪ ˖
wwhat do you hope the answwer is?
꧁I'm fine. Witheitber answer. I just. Wonderif when I was anonymous. It was better.꧂
꧁No one bothers me about the ratings! Uhm. I'm just doing something. And its challenging my thought process.꧂
꧁#nsfw #bulgerating #hoofbeastkin #ponyplay #scent #taste #indigoblood @cavalierThoroughbred Let me know how accurate my reading is. This is my full #nsfw description of Horuss Zahhak's bulge. Horuss Zahhak is an indigo showpony with extensive harness knowledge, self-made tack, gait practice, and enough public presentation to make this reading unusually coherent. I am trying to remain objective. I am aware that indigo specimens make that difficult. Anyway. Uhm. Okay. So. Let's get your stats out of the way. Ｓｔａｔｓ Ｓｔｒｅｎｇｔｈ： 8 Indigo caste force, high stamina, and immaculate body control. Ｐｌｉａｂｉｌｉｔｙ： 7 Good lift, good angle response, and a very clear ability to hold position when given the right cue. Obedient. Ｌｅｎｇｔｈ： 8 Long, sleek, and consistent with the extended presentation he favors in public. Ｇｉｒｔｈ： 6 Solid at the base, smoother through the shaft, with less bulk than the length initially suggests. Ｘ－Ｆａｃｔｏｒ： 3 Excellent conditioning. More of a factor of the mind than the bulge. Okay. So. Indigo caste already puts force on the table. That much is obvious. He is also a showpony, which means the relevant muscle groups are conditioned. Not just body strength. Presentation strength. Performance strength. The kind of strength that does not always hit at full force first because it is waiting for a cue. That matters. The bulge does not read like a blunt Hektor-style gladiator specimen. It reads trained. It has stamina, control, and the ability to look even better when put through a routine. Length is high. The structure reads long, sleek, and slightly upward-curved, with a strong presentation line when aroused. Not absurdly thick, but very visibly indigo. Proud of itself. Eager to be noticed. Good at standing at attention when someone says “showpony.” Girth is solid, but not the main feature. This is not a heavy-bulge reading. This is a long, flexible, show-trained reading. The base is the thickest portion, with a smoother taper toward the head. The underside has very slight ridging, more like tension bands than texture meant to overwhelm. It gives traction. It gives rhythm. It gives the impression that the organ understands pacing. Pliability is high. There is bend, lift, and directional response. The tack language is not cosmetic here. Harnesses, legstraps, bridle talk, reins, gait practice, jumping, rearing, gallop, trot, canter, tölt. All of that matters because it means he has body awareness. He can posture. He can angle. He can hold position. He can be corrected by pressure and praise. That is not flirtation. That is data. Valuable data. Ａｔｔｒｉｂｕｔｅｓ Ｓｃｅｎｔ： Clean sweat, leather tack, brushed hair, warm stable air, metal buckles, and that oddly sweet grooming-product smell. Ｔａｓｔｅ： Salt, indigo musk, leather, and a hay-sweet note I am recording with professional care. It is not terrible. It is actually rather good. Ｔｅｘｔｕｒｅ： Smooth over the top, firmer underneath, with subtle tension-band ridging along the underside. Athletic texture. Sleek, responsive, and well-kept. Ｓｅｃｒｅｔｉｏｎｓ： Moderate and slick. Clear at first, then faintly indigo-tinted with repeated stimulation. Built more for motion than mess. Ｗｅｉｇｈｔ： Medium-high. I'd say 2.7 pounds. Coloration is deep indigo at the base, brighter along the shaft when worked up, with a darker flush at the head. The presentation is clean and well-groomed. Show quality. The skin reads cared for, conditioned, and inspected often enough that the conclusion is obvious. Texture is smooth over the top, firmer beneath, with enough tension to make it feel athletic rather than plush. Weight is medium-high, mostly because of length and blood flow rather than girth. Secretions are moderate and slick. Not messy at first. Built for motion. Built for long use. The scent is clean sweat, leather tack, brushed hair, stable-warm skin, metal buckles, and that faint sweet grooming-product note from someone who says this is a lifestyle and then proves it by being impossible to ignore. Taste is salt, leather, indigo musk, and a strange hay-sweet note that I am recording under controlled conditions. The thing about Horuss is that the bulge does not feel like a private organ. It feels like part of the outfit. Part of the discipline. Part of the whole showpony apparatus. It is performing identity, service, control, need, and the wish to be handled correctly. He says he cannot be tamed. He also keeps placing himself in situations where rescue, tack, reins, gags, holding, riding, and being made to behave are all relevant. This is not a contradiction. This is a complete profile. X Factor is interesting. This is not because of mutation. He has exceptional training compatibility. Horuss has a bulge that responds to ritual. Tack. Commands. Audience. Praise. Correction. Being watched. Being ridden. Being told he is doing well. Being told to hold still. The entire specimen improves when the scenario becomes structured. Without that structure, it is already a good indigo bulge. With it, it becomes a controlled performance specimen. Jousting viability is excellent. Nook danger is high, but not in the usual way. The risk is not sudden brutality. The risk is endurance, rhythm, and the confidence to maintain both while looking pleased about it. Impact: 7. Endurance: 9. Control: 8. Noise level: 10. Shame: absent. Neediness: present but refined. Grooming standards: excellent. Indigo. Sleek. Trained. Show-ready. Harness-compatible. Stronger in motion than at rest. Built for performance, endurance, and being held by someone with enough confidence to take the reins. I cannot believe I have to say this. Excellent specimen. Do not let him convince you this is unrelated to kink just because he says “lifestyle” with a straight face.꧂
8=D < Oh sh**t. 8==D < You do really know your stuff! 8=D < Your rating is surprisingly tackurate! It is a little scary. 8=D < I appreciate your kind words, it is e%ceedingly difficult to find someone that understands my lifestyle!
꧁Thank you. Hiblood꧂
꧁#nsfw #bulgerating #oliveblood #taste #scent #waifuification #holeexpert #specialtunnels #megane-san @gachikoisChic Let me know how accurate my reading is. This is my full #nsfw description of Neeiht Megane's bulge. Final one for the night. I've been working on this one for a few lights... Uhm. Okay. No. The normal format is insufficient here. Megane is going to surprise all of you with sheer volume, which is horrible, because he has provided an in-character note and the note says: ｢megane-san's ochinchin is syo big, he can only navigate special tunnels... (；・ω・) chagrin tunnels~~ aahhn~ (*´；ェ；｀*) choto embarassing..... ( ＴДＴ)｣ I regret to inform everyone that this changes the rating. Welcome to Vesica's Completely Objective And Legally Distinct Bulge Gacha Review Corner. [TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: I do not need a translator. He does. Unfortunately, the translator is also him. This makes everything worse.] Tonight's pull is: ＵＲ ★★★★★★ Ｎｅｅｉｈｔ Ｍｅｇａｎｅ The Tunnel Otaku / Hole Expert / Waifuification Caster Olive Attribute Route-Locked Unit Dungeon Navigation Type Embarrassment Scaling Type Unit Description: Neeiht Megane is an adult oliveblood whose body and personality appear to have been localized by several incompatible fan translators fighting in the notes section of the same doujin. Self-declared East Alternian appreciator. Waifuification theorist. Hole expert. AI-chan loyalist. Tunnel-dwelling otaku. Fluent, allegedly. Dangerous, unfortunately. I am trying to remain objective. He has made this impossible by calling it an ochinchin. Opening Animation: The screen flashes white. A pair of glasses catches the light. There is a sharp whip sound effect as the camera zooms in too far. The soundtrack switches to a suspiciously expensive VN theme. Somewhere, a pentaburetto stylus slips out of greasy nubbins. A dialogue box appears. 「Ｍｅｇａｎｅ－ｓａｎ ｈａｓ ｅｎｔｅｒｅｄ ｔｈｅ Ｃｈａｇｒｉｎ Ｔｕｎｎｅｌｓ！」 I click through too fast. This is a mistake. Most of his dialogue is thankfully skipped. --- Ｓｔａｔ Ｓｃｒｅｅｎ Ｓｔｒｅｎｇｔｈ： 5 Olive baseline with less jousting force than a highblood specimen, though the mass has enough insistence behind it to become functionally stronger once the receiving route accepts the prompt. Ｐｌｉａｂｉｌｉｔｙ： 4 Less flexible than my first assumption. The size claim narrows the possibilities. This is guided-entry anatomy, not dexterity work. Ｌｅｎｇｔｈ： 7 Large for an oliveblood. Too long to ignore. Long enough that “special tunnels” is not only roleplay terminology, even though I wish it were. Ｇｉｒｔｈ： 7 Thicker than expected, especially through the middle and head. It has enough fullness to make ordinary navigation difficult. I am more than thankful I am not personally responsible for field-testing this. Ｘ－Ｆａｃｔｏｒ： ＵＲ / 10 Chagrin Tunnel compatibility. I am writing that phrase in a clinical document. Something is wrong with my life. Something is wrong with this biology. --- Ａｔｔｒｉｂｕｔｅ Ｔａｂ Ｓｃｅｎｔ： Warm olive musk, screen heat, fried katsu oil, tunnel bedding, sweet milk candy, cheap energy drink, and the faint plastic warmth of AI-chan being kept too close to the recuperacoon. There is a hand-scent component. Snack grease. Stylus grip. Overworked nubbins. Pentaburetto residue. Intimate in a way that feels accidental until it starts feeling suspicious. Ｔａｓｔｅ： Salt, olive mineral, fryer oil, sweet cream, and a sharp ramune-like chemical note. There is also a warm doughy aftertaste. It creates the impression of a novelty festival snack shaped like something everyone involved should be too embarrassed to order. Hhh. Moving on. Ｔｅｘｔｕｒｅ： Smooth at the base, firmer through the shaft, with a broad velvet drag that becomes more pronounced once fully worked up. The head has a swollen softness that contrasts with the more stubborn middle. Less sleek than expected. More plush. More intrusive. More shaped for pressure than speed. Ｓｅｃｒｅｔｉｏｎｓ： Clear to faint olive. Slick, stringing slightly under repeated stimulation, with a steady buildup rather than a sudden flood. It produces enough lubrication to explain the tunnel-navigation claim. That does not mean I forgive the phrasing. Ｗｅｉｇｈｔ： Medium-heavy. I would estimate 2.6 pounds under neutral conditions, 2.9 when fully excited. This is above what I expected from him. I dislike being surprised by someone who says “choto embarrassing.” But even I admit Neeiht has a lot of trolls beat out. --- Ｓｐｅｃｉａｌ Ｓｋｉｌｌ：「Ｃｈａｇｒｉｎ Ｔｕｎｎｅｌ Ｎａｖｉｇａｔｉｏｎ」 This is the central feature. Neeiht's bulge is large enough to create route restrictions. Not caste-monster large. Not indigo. Not purple. Oliveblood specimen that exceeded its expected inventory slot and now requires specific conditions, specific partners, specific angles, and apparently special tunnels. The applicant calls them chagrin tunnels. I am forced to interpret this as a shame-reactive compatibility structure. Some nooks will reject the route. Some nooks will accept the route after sufficient preparation. Some nooks will unlock the hidden CG. That is not my joke. It is his joke. I am only documenting the anatomy. The shaft has a slight forward curve, broadest through the middle, with a swollen head that complicates withdrawal if the partner is tense. The base remains stable and less decorative than the rest, which gives it leverage. No elaborate ridges. No knot. No split. No psionics. The issue is proportion. It is simply larger than the surrounding presentation should support, which makes it feel like a glitch in the character sheet. The body says olive otaku support unit. The bulge says surprise miniboss behind the fake wall. I am not calling it impressive in front of him. I am implying it through professional terminology. --- Ｐａｓｓｉｖｅ Ａｕｒａ：「Ｗａｉｆｕｉｆｉｃａｔｉｏｎ Ｆｉｅｌｄ」 The size is real enough. The presentation still makes it worse. Every physical trait arrives wrapped in commentary. The length becomes a route flag. The girth becomes a content warning. The scent becomes “authentic tunnel otaku atmosphere.” The secretions become “limited-time gloss variant.” The curve becomes “special cover pose.” The act of inspection becomes a translated visual novel scene with twelve notes explaining words no one asked him to use. The more embarrassed he becomes, the more active it gets. That is the humiliating mechanical detail. The phrase “choto embarrassing” appears to correspond with increased blood flow, increased secretion, and an upward twitch that I would ordinarily describe with more dignity. Shame is part of the arousal loop. So is being corrected. So is being watched. So is the desperate need to turn everything into a bit before anyone can touch the actual need underneath it. The persona wants applause. The bulge wants access. The note wants me to say it is big. Fine. It is big. It makes whoever is opposite him more submissive than expected. That part is incredible. I hate it. It is not fair. Why does he get this bulge. --- Ｒｏｕｔｅ Ａｎａｌｙｓｉｓ Ｎｅｅｉｈｔ Ｒｏｕｔｅ： Chagrin Tunnel Ending You enter the tunnel hive. Posters on the walls. AI-chan somewhere too visible. Tablet open nearby, layers arranged with names no respectable person should have to read. Katsu oil on something that should not have oil on it. He says “kekeke.” The dialogue box shakes. You reconsider every decision that led here. First choice: 「Ask about AI-chan」 or 「Inspect the tunnel.」 Do not ask about AI-chan. That locks you into twenty minutes of lore, three translator's notes, and a scene where he explains why loving a program is more pure because corpo-chan has not given her enough toggles. Inspect the tunnel instead. This is still bad, but it advances the route. Second choice: 「Call him Megane-san」 or 「Use his actual name.」 Calling him Megane-san causes immediate fluster gain. Using his actual name causes a slower, stronger response. Recommended route is actual name first, Megane-san later, once the special tunnel flag is already active. I hate that I know this. Third choice: 「Correct his East Alternian」 or 「Let him continue.」 Correcting him causes shame pulse, secretion increase, and the first visible lift. Letting him continue makes him more confident, which increases narration and decreases control. Correct him. Be precise. Do not be cruel. He will pretend to suffer. The bulge will not. Then the actual specimen becomes visible, and the situation becomes worse because it is more legitimate than the dialogue prepared you for. Large olive bulge. Fuller than expected. Warm. Overactive. Heavily responsive to embarrassment. The fabric does very little once he is excited. It presses forward with a rounded shape that makes the “special tunnel” note sound less like bragging and more like a poorly phrased safety advisory. The first contact scene is where most players fail. They underestimate girth because the rest of him is too absurd to take seriously. Do not do that. The middle swell arrives early. The head catches if the nook is tense. The curve asks for a specific angle. If the receiving party tries to rush, the route soft-locks into discomfort, panic noises, and several lines of dialogue I refuse to reproduce. If the receiving party prepares properly, the Chagrin Tunnel Ending remains viable. There is a hidden affection meter under the cringe meter. Easy to miss. The cringe meter is loud, flashing, and covered in symbols. The affection meter is quiet. It appears when he stops translating himself for three seconds. It appears when his body reacts before his mouth can reframe it as a joke. It appears when the bulge twitches honestly while the dialogue tries to bury the moment in nonsense. He performs panic. The bulge performs honesty. That is the divide. Neeiht says too many words. The body provides cleaner data. Bad End: You let him narrate everything. The room fills with translator notes. No one finishes. AI-chan is somehow mentioned six times. Normal End: You acknowledge the size, prepare carefully, and survive the special tunnel with dignity mostly intact. Good End: You take him seriously, correct him when necessary, and make him stop hiding behind the bit long enough for the body to speak first. True End: Unknown. Probably requires unlocking AI-chan's trust, washing his hands, and entering the chagrin tunnel without letting him say “ochinchin” more than once. --- Ｃｏｍｂａｔ Ｕｔｉｌｉｔｙ Jousting viability is medium. Impact: 5. Endurance: 6. Control: 4. Entry difficulty: 8. Fluster scaling: 10. Public embarrassment hazard: 10. It is not an elegant weapon. It is a route obstacle. The bulk creates pressure quickly. The head catches more than expected. The shaft warms fast, slicks itself, and keeps trying to advance even when the owner is making noises better suited to a bad fandub. Nook danger is high under unprepared conditions. Moderate with preparation. High again if he starts talking. Psychological hazard remains severe. Anyone weak to obsessive attention, bad honorifics, hole analysis, glasses glare, praise loops, waifu categorization, or being called something with “-chan” attached should leave before the second dialogue choice. --- Ｖｅｓｉｃａ'ｓ Ｆｉｎａｌ Ｐｕｌｌ Ｒｅｓｕｌｔ Strength: 5. Pliability: 4. Length: 7. Girth: 7. X-Factor: UR. Overall: larger than expected, route-locked, sensory-dense, shame-reactive, and dangerously validated by its own note. This is an oliveblood bulge with high size for caste, low dignity, notable tunnel-compatibility restrictions, and an absurd passive skill that turns direct inspection into a visual novel you cannot uninstall. Would I recommend pulling? Only if you know the route. Frankly. I hope he gets what he wants with AI-chan. Genuinely, I think it might be the only thing capable of managing his particular biology. Final verdict: Large for an olive. Embarrassingly sincere. Special-tunnel certified. Very sensitive. Very verbal. Too much localization. More impressive than I wanted. I might be wrong. I am probably not wrong. Please do not DM me asking what a chagrin tunnel is. I know. You know. He knows. That is already too many people.꧂
[VE$I#A YOU ARE DOING THE #OD$ WORK IN HERE]
꧁thankyou highblood.꧂
[YOUR WEL#OME AND JU$T LIKE #ALL ME RIT#HY]
꧁okay rithhy...thankyou.꧂
𓏲ּ𝄢🍆) Y'know if you ͻan get past the troll attaͻhed, doesn't sound too bad ( ♬ ݁˖. ݁₊⊹
꧁Agrreed.꧂
𓏲ּ𝄢🍆) Love your work by the way, it's inͻredibly informative. Really helps me do my job better ( ♬ ݁˖. ݁₊⊹
꧁Thankyou.꧂
꧁#nsfw #bulgerating #seadweller #nightlight @germicidalManiac Pelagi Noctil is a violet blood of some renown and some impressive biology! The germophobe sort-of makes it known here! verywellcleaned. Verynice.Hhhheh. -------- Ｓｔａｔｓ Ｓｔｒｅｎｇｔｈ： 6 Great jousting force... An excellent contender for undersea grappling. Especially with her X-Factor... Ｐｌｉａｂｉｌｉｔｙ： 8 Very flexible and admirable, even. I think she can navigate a maze just fine... So long as the maze is wide enough...Heheh. Ｌｅｎｇｔｈ： 10! What's with violetbloods on this website having such big bulges? The violetblood I know is on the smaller side... Hhheh. But she is definitely long enough... Ｇｉｒｔｈ： 8 She almost maxes out the scale on this! It's only not a 10 because it does waver and taper due to her x-factor. Ｘ－Ｆａｃｔｏｒ： 10! So bright! Hhheh.Andbumpy. -------- Ａｔｔｒｉｂｕｔｅｓ Ｓｃｅｎｔ： She smells like a sea-salt hand-sanitizer. Pleasant, smooth, a stony scent with some sharp tones in the back of the throat! Ｔａｓｔｅ： Hfffshe uhm. Shetaaastes. Like. Uhm. Inkbeast. Like, just like the lusus! so yummy.... Ｔｅｘｔｕｒｅ： BUMPY! Uhm. She has these bumps...Nodes...really. Like.Psionicnodes. Butsort of external, and large. Theyglow. Ｓｅｃｒｅｔｉｏｎｓ： Hfffhave you ever had like. Grape sour liquid candy? That's what the consistency and color is like.... Ｗｅｉｇｈｔ： 3.1 pounds. -------- Ｘ－Ｆａｃｔｏｒ Ｅｘｐｌａｉｎｅｄ Okay! So, the bulge is very interesting! It's massive, it's bumpy, and it's bright! It has bio-luminescent nodes! Uhm. Theyare. Brightenough. it seems that you might be able to see them glowing inside you if she pushes in hard enough or far enough into your nooktomb. HHHehhhehehheh. [VERDICT] Overall: I am a big fan overall! It isn't, uhm. Too peculiar and it's more than enough...volume...wise... for someone to be happy. It's impressive howmuch space this bulge is taking of her biology, to the point her nook is like. Iguess. Vestigial. Almost.Sortof. Squished away. Whoneeds it? This is a beautiful bulge. It is well maintained and it can take care of your needs just as Pelagi has taken care of her own bulge's needs for so long. Thankyou for letting me read this one highblood. itwas a pleasure highblood. i promiseigot no germs on it, highblood. Iloveyouhighblood. You'revery bright.꧂
༊࿐ ✤ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ Oh my. My ggenitals... Public on dhe internet. I am not so sure about dhat but. Dhank you for dhe uhm. Compliments i suppose. I have gglagness dhat you fing me preddy. How embarrassingg, but it is okay you may keep dhe post it is okay. I like your nice worgs. ༊࿐ ✤ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ༊࿐ ✤ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ #nsfw ༊࿐ ✤ ⊹ ࣪ ˖
꧁idontknow. whatyouretalking about.꧂